Any Witches Here? Part 14.

[speakout]

Or Wiccans. or Pagans? Or anyone who is interested in a magical path or feels some magical stirrings.

A place for support, learning, swapping ideas and magical inspiration.

As ever the chat here echoes and reflects my own life.

I have to say that right now in my life I have no problem whatsoever in ignoring all the 'wife/mother' load and sitting on my behind just daydreaming and being actively lazy. I think this is borne out of my having spent 10 years self-employed working long days 7 days a week, and then from that straight into motherhood with all it's sleepless nights and 24/7 on duty nature. I am at a point now where I can sit and do nothing so I frequently do and I do feel not one ounce of guilt or any of the 'shoulds' about it.

I am also loving the sanctuary of my garden. I am seeking some deep nurture there. I feel after these last 18 months that I want a holiday that is actually a retreat where an older wise woman will envelop me and 'mother' me. I think because my own mother was never very physically/emotionally nurturing it is something I crave when I become soul weary.
My anxiety is awful right now, but it is free floating and not tied to any trigger.
My son's school bubble burst at the weekend....so we're back to home school. I am not happy about this. It is a disruption to life which suits neither of us!

queenrollo

I feel after these last 18 months that I want a holiday that is actually a retreat where an older wise woman will envelop me and 'mother' me. I think because my own mother was never very physically/emotionally nurturing it is something I crave when I become soul weary.

That makes so much sense. I hope we can provide a little nurturing for you on this thread.
I had a similar situation with my own mother, but have learned how to mother myself pretty well.
I also find shadow work useful for healing those mother wounds. X

Speakout this and Instagram are my little retreats each day. I sit with a cuppa and soak up the wonderful energy we create here.
On Instagram I only follow accounts which I know provide content each day that is a positive impact for me.

Fortunately the morning has gone well and my son has adjusted to the home learning much better than last time. It has meant that I have still been able to carry on with at least some of the plans I had for my day.
I've also been able to share Bealtaine Cottage with his teacher as it was actually pertinent to the online lesson he was delivering!

@speakout thank you for trying to help. I smelt the herb smell at my yoga class. I asked mu yoga teacher what it was, she said bergamot - which is a smell that I love but it wasn't what I was smelling. I have them smelt when I've been sitting near some plants by a little row of shops.

It's similar to chamomile but more woody. It smells soothing and cleansing.

Toto I may be completely off the mark here but they often plant geraniums up by shops - I wonder if it could be that. Though it's not a very woody scent. You have my sympathy though, it's so frustrating when you can't quite track something down.

queenrollo

I am also loving the sanctuary of my garden. I am seeking some deep nurture there. I feel after these last 18 months that I want a holiday that is actually a retreat where an older wise woman will envelop me and 'mother' me. I think because my own mother was never very physically/emotionally nurturing it is something I crave when I become soul weary.

This completely. I have just been diagnosed with C-PTSD and a major factor of this was my mother's emotional neglect, she was completely emotionally absent and physically absent whenever she could be. Father was abusive too and it's resulted in me having major issues with anxiety/relationships. For years (more than 30) I was misdiagnosed and didn't realise there were all of these unseen triggers. Last week I was really triggered (thanks to one particular person in real life who I will now seek to avoid) and this week, I've headed for the garden, weeding, planting whatever I can to try and re-cooperate as this episode has left me exhausted.

I have realised that I am always on the look out for a 'mother figure'. They seem to come and go throughout my life but never remain constant. I'm hoping therapy is going to help me unravel this a bit as I invariably attempt to rely on these women who eventually (without realising the role they perform and the consistency I need) let me down. But it is unfair of me to expect this in the first place, I just sort of fall into it.

I am hoping to go on some retreats in a few years time and have one or two in mind that might be nurturing for me.

speakout I have also been deeply inhaling the air following the recent heavy rainfall. There is a name for it: Petrichor.

Daphnesmate07

I think there are quite a few petrichor lovers on this thread- it is a beautiful thing isn't it.
And you don't even have to be in woodland to smell it. I have smelled it in cities and townscapes too.
I have adored it since childhood.
I had some relly effective counselling last year and helped me start to unravel my motherwound. There are some wonderful resources - Bethany Webster is fantastic.

I have been awol. So sorry.
Trying to come back into the fold.
Life has swept me away almost.

Spiritwriter

Good to see you again. Always a soft place by the fire.

@speakout

Spiritwriter

Good to see you again. Always a soft place by the fire.

Thank you Speakout. I felt that. Brought tears. xxx

Spiritwriter don't apologise, we're here, we exist in a place where absence and attendance ebb and flow alongside inspiration, sharing, privacy and much more. We don't have to announce our presence to be a part of our sisterhood, some of us are more chatty than others, some of us prefer to observe mostly silently. We can all join in with the 8's wherever and whenever we are.

It's always lovely to see who's round the fire drinking their favourite tea, sharing ideas and it's also lovely to know there are many more of us unseen but present too.

@queenrollo thank you for the suggestion, I'll make an effort to find some geraniums to sniff.

We are all making an effort to be kinder to ourselves and mother our inner child. It's so important to do that. My aunt recommend an mediation app - it's called Insight Timer. I listen to the free mediation sessions on there, they vary in length. I recommend it to you lovely ladies too.

we're here, we exist in a place where absence and attendance ebb and flow alongside inspiration, sharing, privacy and much more.

blanktimes I love that- so true. The energy of this thread is about the writers and the readers.. I love to think of the many who pass by , or regularly read without posting, hopefully gaining a little support or energy. I know two people in RL who reguarly read these threads but have never posted, so I am guessing there are many more. Their presence is valuable too.
TotoAnnihiliation geranium is very pungent too, and so good for anxiety.

Good morning, sisters.

A warm , healing, gentle hug to anyone needing it - the intense energy lately seems to have stirred a lot of us, myself included, and I let myself get swept away for a few days, but am bobbing to the surface again. Every day, I light a candle for everyone needing gentle reassurance, and I also am burning quite a bit of sage incense for positivity. It's not a lot, but I feel it makes a difference. And this thread makes a huge difference - to me, it's the equivalent of being directed to a comfy chair with my favourite brew, and the most sublime music playing in the background. A balm, indeed.

Today, Mercury will be coming out of its' retrograde shadow, and things should slowly start making sense - it's been such a strange retrograde period, I have taken to a short spell of hibernation until I know what's actually going on!

A beautiful day of magic and wonder to you all xxx

Such beautiful words about the energy of our magical space here, which I wholeheartedly agree with. Thank you sisters.

And yes to the intense energy of late- a flurry of unexpected events here has left me a little dazed but it feels good to be reassured of the energy settling and there’s anticipation about what lies in the rubble of the tower. Treasure hunting again!

Toto I’m wondering if the more woody camomile smell might be German as opposed to Roman camomile? Just another idea in the mix!

Love to those in need of comfort and the blessings of the goddess to all

Just indulging in the soft supportive energy on the thread right now.
The rain has been steadily falling all day, but warm enough to have windows open. I have been burning scented candles too, and the odd stick of incense. I love when the house is quiet and I can weave my own energy around.
AnotherCrazyBirdLady it's good to hear you do the same!
Aerwyna always treasure in the rubble isn't there- and usually some suprising finds.

This thread is a sanctuary - a few moments of calm and magic in what seem to be unendingly busy days.

Spiritwriter always room by the fire, and while I love checking in as often as I can, I also love that there's no expectation, it's very soothing.

I'm off to herd cats before heading to my lovely mum's for the day for lunch and some life admin. Have a gentle day!

Dark moon blessings sisters.
A day to pause, to assimilate what we have learned in the moon cycle just passed. A point to stop, set down the burdens and reflect.
A great day for shadow work, deep diving, or just to take a breath.

Thank you speakout, dark moon blessings to you too. I love this moon phase energy, as you say it often feels like a welcome pause, cloaked in the comfort that darkness can bring, a taste of new beginnings in the air- delicious!

I smiled at your herding cats hilarious. I hope you have a lovely time with your mum.

My grass is currently teaming with the beautiful purple flowers of self heal- it seems to be the year for it. The bees love it so I’ve mostly left it uncut for them but have also been experimenting with herbal teas and am wondering how easy it would be to make a healing balm to soothe the skin. It makes me happy to work with flowers and experiment with new ideas.

A busy day today out and about today and I have a job application to complete later- not a lucrative opportunity financially but something that I’m certain would bring joy, which is of course, priceless. They’ll be a little magic woven through the words I chose

Have a magical day sisters

Aerwyna sending luck and good fortune with you job application.
I have lots of self heal in my lawn too such a pretty little delicate flower and the bees around here love it too.
I know that lawns are considered bad for the environment- and I do agree on the whole but my lawn is supporting literally hundreds of bees right now. I did a quick count recently , counted bees in a square metre and esimated that I had 300 bees on my front lawn, gorging on the self heal and clover. Not to mention all the hover flies, and other insects.
I tend not to cut my lawn when I see the bees feeding from it so much.

Thank you speakout
I love that you did an impromptu bee count! Your lawn situation sounds very similar to mine, it’s good to be supporting the bees together!

@speakout I promise I didn't think you were diminishing my feelings, I am pleased to be reminded of the importance of nurturing that flame of optimism. (A lesson I need to learn and re learn it would seem!). I keep reminding myself 'as above, so below'. It really shakes me out of my pit of doom and gloom!

@VioletCharlotte I'm so pleased to hear Cornwall recharged you - whereabouts did you base yourself?

I remember all the feelings of angst and guilt I experienced as a teenager and young Mum only too well. I think it's even worse for young people nowadays as social media just amplifies everything.

I am so enjoying being a mum, but the guilt is horrific. I actually read a very interesting piece on it the other day that helped: www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/18/parent-trap-why-the-cult-of-the-perfect-mother-has-to-end but still I struggle with it. I try and remind myself I have good intentions and am doing by best, but I am constantly haunted by the scale of the job and the far reaching consequences of messing it up.

@AnotherCrazyBirdLady your cleaning ritual sounds lovely - I really need to do a bit more of the first bit! I love all your tales of Robin chicks, so heartwarming. And I had had no idea Mercury was in retrograde...recent events seem to make more sense now.

@Aerwyna I enjoyed reading all of your thoughts on taking time for yourself (and the resulting discussion). I think it's something we all, especially women, need to remind ourselves of. I am a fan of the overused but always pertinent saying: you can't pour from an empty cup. It always works its magic on me. How're you finding the yoga? For what it's worth, I've been practicing on and off for over a decade and I still consider myself a clumsy beginner. Your river photos are just spectacular - how lovely it was deep enough for you to take a dip! All the best writing your job application and weaving in some magic with your words.

@hilariousnamehere lovely garden!

@queenrollo Good for you taking the time to do nothing guilt free. That sounds like true peace to me.

I so enjoyed reading all of your thoughts on self nurture / taking time for yourself. As an introvert and a mum to a toddler, it's something I've been grappling with in recent months.

An 'ah ha' moment for me has been that I cannot give what I don't have. I am an infinitely nicer human being and able to contribute so much more if I have taken for myself. But still, I'd like to reach a point where I have enough self love to do it for me. But I'll take what I can at this stage!

Wishing you all a magical evening x

I have been playing (literally) with nettles a lot recently. For me they are definitely a protective energy even if other people think i am bonkers and don't understand why i don't get stung Do others feel this energy?

Most of my walks are punctuated with bats, and i don't know if it is because of the routes i take or if there is a bigger meaning. right now my only feeling is that i am super lucky to see them.

Stress is an overwhelming theme here to the point where managing it and its impact is a daily and sometimes hourly activity. And the covid situation has finally overwhelmed me can't have vaccine and clinically vulnerable, whilst working with the public But all we can do is the best we can to mitigate risk, manage anxiety, and resolve issues we are capable. Ifs, buts and maybes are the thieves of peace and joy; and i try not to indulge them.

Otoh i stress bought some magical books that had been on my wish list for a while. I hope when i have resolved some things to be able to curl up and enjoy them.

I wish that you are all blessed with your encounters with nature in her many forms, you have time to be, and that life treats you as gently and kindly as possible right now.

Sorry, pc acting up and I should have been in bed hours ago, so I'll keep this brief.

Stress.

Last week someone on MN whose name I can't remember recommended the Flare Calmer in-ear that lowers stress by reducing distortion in the ear.
www.flareaudio.com/products/calmer
I've bought some for DD who is pleased with them so far, she's had them 3 days, but home is very quiet and particularly geared for low stress, the biggest test will be when we go shopping.

I've no connection with the company apart from being a very recent first-time customer, but we are all working towards lowering our stress levels and these are such a new invention and so different to anything else in my toolkit that I thought I'd mention them.

Have a Magical Day sisters, I'm off to zzzzzz now!

@moregarlic sorry for the confusion, Mercury is not retrograde! It was, but it has just passed the degree of when it first turned retrograde on May 29th, if that makes sense! These periods can still be muddled, and tech can still play up (or people!).