On living simply

[LunaHeather]

Does anyone live simply and quietly? What does it mean to you? Has it worked out?

In case anyone wants background, I'm pondering it partly because of the FIRE thing and partly because of generally taking stock of my life.

Sometimes it clashes with FIRE e.g. I am clearing out lots of things and it feels like a hassle to sell them.

I am 45 and felt this way since late 20s tbh. Only now am I starting to look at my clothes and saying "one trendy bar outfit is more than enough". It's the sort of thing I'd really like to avoid full stop in future.

Also, just to mix it up, reading a bit of Stoicism has helped me.

I'm probably considered a Luddite in that I don't do Zoom or WhatsApp for socialising.

Anyway, I'll stop waffling. Can anyone relate? I tend to think it won't lead to loneliness because a real friend will like you for you, not the places you go etc.

Yes I've always been very interested in minimalism and simple living. My partner and I choose to stay in our little two bedroom loft flat because the mortgage is paid off and we're happy saving money. We will raise our first child here for a few years before considering moving. We live by the sea and have a lovely local community with everything we need on our doorstep.

My partner is very handy so is currently renovating the entire flat by himself which saves a lot of money. He also does any house repairs by himself. We both work freelance in skilled professions that we trained hard for and so now we work what we want/need and can work from home.

We don't spend a lot of money but at the same time we don't go without. During normal times for example, we go out to eat in restaurants as and when we please. But we save so much money elsewhere as we don't spend a lot on material things so this leaves money to save for experiences.

We don't have anything on credit and don't own credit cards. Everything we want is paid for in cash. If there's no cash, we don't buy it. The only exceptions are my car which is leased (we also have a van but that was paid for in cash) and the mortgage which is now paid off.

We keep our small space very simple and minimal. It's cosy and I'm much happier here saving money than buying some big house to rattle around with and saddle us with a new mortgage.

sparkles that's interesting

I am still slightly worried about regretting get rid of things

It's interesting as I have no interest in "experiences" any more, hence the quiet life part.

I wondered if anyone else gets sone spiritual or psychological benefit from a quiet life and pottering. The normal essentials of daily life are quite full on IMHO.

I have often wondered if there are monks or nuns who don't have beliefs but are attracted to the lifestyle.

@LunaHeather

sparkles that's interesting

I am still slightly worried about regretting get rid of things

It's interesting as I have no interest in "experiences" any more, hence the quiet life part.

I wondered if anyone else gets sone spiritual or psychological benefit from a quiet life and pottering. The normal essentials of daily life are quite full on IMHO.

I have often wondered if there are monks or nuns who don't have beliefs but are attracted to the lifestyle.

The type of experiences I value are little day trips around the country. Or slow-paced holidays. I don't need many of these as I'm very much a home-body and am most happy reading a book by the fire or playing a game of scrabble with friends at the local pub over a pint of lemonade.

Owning a bike is also a nice way to slow down. It's nice to cycle to the shops rather than drive and pack messages in a pannier.

As for getting rid of things, there's nothing I have ever regretted getting rid of. I don't feel guilty selling things on or donating them to charity. I grew up in a very small flat with no bedrooms and got used to living with very little. I'm very sentimental but I have one large box that everything must fit into. So there are some childhood mementos and various bits and bobs that mean a lot to me that I'll not let go of. But it's contained to one box.

The other things that I truly love, I live with. My decor is sparse but carefully chosen and I love every single thing. The less you have, the more you appreciate.

I have lived this way for decades.
I live as simply as possible.
My idea of a good night out is a walk at sunset through my forest.
I don't do fashion, fancy brands, loathe perfume.
Almost all my clothes, furniture come from second hand shops.
"Stuff" gives me little pleasure.
This is a lovely soul soothing youtube channel about simple living

www.youtube.com/user/108Niamh

There's no point in living in an empty house if your mind isn't empty as well.

shrimp interesting that you have your sentimental stuff in one box. I feel guilty getting rid of certain things eg souvenirs bought by parents from holidays.

I would love to know people who were happy with a lemonade in the pub but I only know one! Everyone else leaves London at that point, I think.

The simple living isn't just about stuff, it's about how I use time and energy. Since taking a Stoic approach to things, I find my mum on the phone quite odd...like she goes on about stuff that has nothing to do with...well, anything.

I'm trying to reduce tech use, mostly because I hate it. I am opening a not online bank account! I'm doing finance plans on paper instead of a spreadsheet. I'm spending less time online and curating it carefully.

I wonder if anyone else feels that way.

I crave a quiet simple life. It probably wont be possible for me as I've got 3 young children but im simplifying elements of my life. I think what you are talking about is also slow living? There's lots of inspiring YouTube vidoes on that. It goes hand in hand with minimalism really. I feel the same about not craving experiences. But i dont know if that is some kind of depression or result of lockdown more than anything else. Im also an introvert and i think introverts crave this way of life more.

One thank you

Part of my thing is reducing internet usage but a quick google of slow living doesn't look slow enough 😂

I am increasingly finding myself not interested in what others have to say. I had rather expected that but I am surprised at how big a thing it is.
I crave silence I suppose, or at least wish to avoid people wittering about things I feel far removed from. And it is happened very quickly, hence feeling unnerved.

But I guess it's not quick if you count the last 16 years of thinking about it..

I suggest you might like a Quaker meeting. It’s very in tune with your lifestyle, and particularly with some of the specifics you have mentioned, and is only as religious/spiritual as you want it to be. If you are in London there are several meeting houses.

One of the things you might like most about the meetings is they are mostly silent contemplation

Quakers - There's a meeting literally down the road, in normal times

I don't believe in god but even if they don't mind that, like every other organisation, they have hitched themselves to a range of political causes, judging by the website. Hugely off putting.

Maybe I should start a cult 😀 I think Cult of Luna sounds good.

A quiet life is my aim. Simple and peaceful.

I am an early riser, my family are not. I love sitting quietly with a cup of tea while everyone else is asleep.

This year instead of NY resolutions, I decided to have a year of progress. Just small things towards the life I want one day.

I am a long way off, but am making progress

Oh, and sign me up for your cult. Sounds nice .

Champagne that sounds good, I am a night bird and I like the quiet at 1am.

There will be booze in the cult, that is important! 😀

Excellent! And lovely books to read quietly while sipping?

Yes definitely!

@DDIJ

I live like this, kind of. I will come back to this thread tomorrow.

Great!

My dream is a little house by the sea with a little craft workshop in the garden.

Maybe a tiny house; I particularly like the NestHouse maker.

Less expense, less maintenance, less worry. More time to just be.

tinyhousescotland.co.uk/nesthouse-moveable-modular-tiny-house-system/

Champagne I so enjoy just "being". Just the basics you have to do for daily life make for enough busy-ness IMHO.

@DDIJ

I live like this, kind of. I will come back to this thread tomorrow.

@DDIJ hoping you will come back and share more!

DDIJ

I am not sure I have words to explain how much your post has helped me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the bottom of my admittedly not very deep heart!

Re the having one of everything, I read about Buddhist nuns who do this with, I think, one bowl and cup and spoon and it does seem very significant in terms of contributing to simplicity.

It's a bit of a pet hate - or eccentricity - of mine - that I hate the way food has become ....well, what it's become. That it's a norm to go out for food I consider to be really expensive. That you're a killjoy or bad friend for not wanting to join in.

The simplicity of your life, regardless of how it came about, is appealing and I know your post is going to help me get rid of a lot of "stuff".

I do very little work now - well, in the eyes of the average Jane I do very little work - and after years of long hours, it's amazing to just have time to "be". But sometimes I have this ridiculous sense that I'm doing something wrong and I am surprised how hard it is to let go of that feeling.

Part of it is that there are some friends and family who don't know what I'm up to but if I tell the truth, I won't be left in peace. so I say I have bits and bobs of work, which is true, but I deliberately give the impression that it's at least some hours of every day.

I have no idea what is considered a right or wrong way to do minimalism, it's just so nice to meet people who understand the appeal of living simply.

You have helped me stop doubting myself and I can't thank you enough.

Interesting post. I think we have to get past what we think of as "wierd". Your lifestyle is too spartan for me, but that doesn't mean it isn't right for you. I feel I have too much stuff, my DH would definitely say I have too much stuff. I am attracted to a more simple life but would find it hard to radically declutter. For me, a more simple life would involve more simple pleasures - reading, cooking, spending time with friends. It would not involve fast fashion or feeling that I had to do things to keep up with other people. I think I spend too much time online and would like to reduce that. I would also like to get rid of some things I have in the house but would keep all craft materials, decorating equipment etc as to me they are part of a simple life. Horses for courses and all that...

@applesandpears33

Interesting post. I think we have to get past what we think of as "wierd". Your lifestyle is too spartan for me, but that doesn't mean it isn't right for you. I feel I have too much stuff, my DH would definitely say I have too much stuff. I am attracted to a more simple life but would find it hard to radically declutter. For me, a more simple life would involve more simple pleasures - reading, cooking, spending time with friends. It would not involve fast fashion or feeling that I had to do things to keep up with other people. I think I spend too much time online and would like to reduce that. I would also like to get rid of some things I have in the house but would keep all craft materials, decorating equipment etc as to me they are part of a simple life. Horses for courses and all that...

One of my balancing issues is that some friends will find it a shock. I'd say lockdown has made me realise who is just cocktail buddy, but i live alone with no local support and those cocktail buddies have helped me with serious illness and injury in the past.

So I have to balance that. For some people, it really means a lot to have those pricey nights out but they aren't being shallow when you can literally call them to A&E in the middle of the night. That's a good friend. Maybe it will cost me money to keep them 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would also be unbothered what my home looks like, the sofa pretty much eats people now 😂 But again, there are other people who need to feel comfortable in my home so there's a balance and a question over, am I keeping those people?