On living simply

[LunaHeather]

Does anyone live simply and quietly? What does it mean to you? Has it worked out?

In case anyone wants background, I'm pondering it partly because of the FIRE thing and partly because of generally taking stock of my life.

Sometimes it clashes with FIRE e.g. I am clearing out lots of things and it feels like a hassle to sell them.

I am 45 and felt this way since late 20s tbh. Only now am I starting to look at my clothes and saying "one trendy bar outfit is more than enough". It's the sort of thing I'd really like to avoid full stop in future.

Also, just to mix it up, reading a bit of Stoicism has helped me.

I'm probably considered a Luddite in that I don't do Zoom or WhatsApp for socialising.

Anyway, I'll stop waffling. Can anyone relate? I tend to think it won't lead to loneliness because a real friend will like you for you, not the places you go etc.

I think you are right - lockdown has given us all time to think about what is important to us and many people now want to make changes. Prior to lockdown I often felt like a hamster in a wheel and wanted to get off. Now I want to get rid of some of the elements of my life that I didn't really enjoy to make more space for a simple life.

I love reading books written in and about life in the 1940s/50s partly because I was born mid 50s and can remember my childhood.
Persphone books are great, many republished books by women authors describing the slower pace of life then. People seemed to accept life and expected less.
I was going to suggest The Fortnight in September by RC Sherriff about the regular seaside holiday taken then. You might find it second hand online.
The books make me pine for the 'slower' past but I seem to be hooked on the internet and driving - but maybe one day........

Here's a sign of my former life that's easy to reject

Just been invited to a Book launch party on Zoom. No. If it was a book launch IRL, I won't be doing those any more either. I have had a period of finding those okay but now I just think, oh god, buses, Tubes, warm wine, having to look "nice" etc, buying a book at full price....

I used to write, hence being invited to these things. No more. That's an easy one. Can chuck out the hair styling stuff.

Can I recommend to you the book Timeless Simplicity by John Lane I think it would be right up your street. Just reading it is relaxing!

The way Home by Mark Boyle was about his life off grid. Quite interesting to see how hard it can be. But also pleasant and peaceful.

I try to live simply within a normal UK society with two kids and a geek OH.

I first of all got rid of my reference books as almost everything is online now.

Then I decluttered the kitchen equipment.

Our dishwasher died and I found washing up by hand was tidier, you don't need two sets of everything and you can just use stuff from the draining board.

I make bread from time to time radio on, kneading is meditative to me. But I find it better to slow cooker the dough than oven, so I keep our quite big slow cooker for that.

It has been shown you solve problems if you do something mindless for a bit so I use kneading, washing up, hanging laundry, wedding, as times to think about sketches etc. Apparently it's more effective to do an automatic activity than nothing to boost creativity, something along the lines of the bits of the brain being used, how you switch between the two. It's all online if you want to research further.

We no longer have DVD or CDs it's all streamed.
We have a smaller DAB radio than a larger FM one.

Our house isn't minimalist by the way.
I quite like lived in look but everything around is useful or wanted i.e. no ornaments.

I reduced my life to what can I do in a day. Good cooking is important so I make no excuses about the kitchen.

But I am not going to learn to knit now. So all that stuff went, if I ever feel the need charity shops have needles and wool for pennies.

What I do do is draw/paint and use the sewing machine for basic stuff, clothes repairs and curtains mainly.

I read, but make use of our library for a lot of books and pass on novels etc as there is always new stuff to read.

I shrewd old papers in our filing once a year or so.

I have yoga mats and blocks and handweights I do online simple workouts so I don't need a gym membership.

Things I don't scrimp on, weatherproof clothing and footwear.

I have far too many herbal teas. And fairy lights!

And I can't yet part with the family heirloom tea set even though we don't use it.

There is living simply and minimalist.
There is a difference.

I am into all this. It means I can work freelance and live incredibly frugally. I am so at peace compared to how I used to be - always trying to keep up.

I love this channel on Slow Living.

Thank you, interesting to read this

frozen
I am a bit confused by the dishwasher and having two sets of things?

I am trying to go as low tech as possible so not chucking out anything in favour of streaming etc but man, I am so sick of tech.

Agree, big difference between living simply and being minimalist.

The bits of brain stuff is all familiar too. And it is so nice to single task - I don't work much now so thank heavens, I can mostly avoid that.

Regarding dishwasher: I used to wait to fill up a dish washer before turning on. Then the crockery cupboard was a bit bare and with small kids they always needed something so I got a bit more crockery etc.
Then the dishwasher broke.
So whilst contemplating getting a new one I washed up by hand, I wash as I go whilst cooking and even now with a roast dinner and all the trimmings almost everything is washed as the plates are served. It works for me and we need fewer crockery items.

As for streaming, it is just a different way to consume music/films. I understand it isn't for everyone but some tech is a vast improvement. I mean these message boards for example, without direct messaging it could take weeks to have a discussion like this perhaps even writing to a letters page! Spotify for me gives me endless choice and not a single item to deal with. I do love it, I had to be convinced but in the end if I am listening to an album it comes out of the speakers regardless of how it got there.

I refuse to convert to a kindle over real books.

I don't have a minimalist life, I paint I sketch, I pay good money for nice sketchbooks. There are pencils and paintbrushes, piles of sketchbooks (because you need different sizes if course ) all over our house. I love a new pencil set, it's almost a fetish. But even of pencil sets regardless of how many nice new ones come out I have accepted I have enough for the time being (and it's hard oh it's ever so hard) I am not buying any new ones until I use the ones I have. (Sob.......)

We all have our vices, and we don't have enough space for CDs AND paintbrushes. So as I can stream music the CDs went and the paintbrushes stayed (hurray) ......it's a trade off.

So I happily use some tech to give us more space for the things l, I should say we, love more than what tech replaces.

Everything I love doing is non-tech, art, growing food, cooking, reading, studying for pleasure, mastering cryptic crosswords. Tech gives me the space to do it.

I don't have a simple life, I have a H who needs support, I have two nearly teenagers who have been stoic but lockdown is taking it's toll, I have friends who can be demanding but usually have great gossip in return, as most people have interwoven lives.

But in between, the bits of life I can't choose I get lost in cooking Caribbean street food, sketching portraits, researching philosophy, psychology and ways of living sustainably and reading great books. So I am not sure if this is a simple life. I don't want to live so simply it's isolated but I find stuff I consider shallow a waste of time.

frozen Re tech, I meant planned obsolescence type issues but also civil liberties so I won't blither on. I will be very sad if CDs and DVDs vanish though.

I am also getting into drawing btw, not sure I'll ever be any good but it's nice to try!

Re partners and children, I won't lie, there are so many single childfree MNers, I thought there'd be more replies from them. It's such a big change from my old life to this one - see the book launch example.

I just hope I find walking distance friends who are all right to hang out at home with tea, or in a local pub, rather than the endless rounds of going into central London.

That's also linked to FIRE though. It's been a really interesting discussion though. Limiting screen time means I won't be looking at youtube and I definitely don't need more books in the flat but thanks to all for suggestions.

I am actively working towards a simpler life. Clearing out the 'stuff' bit by bit. Our dishwasher broke too and hasn't been replaced. The microwave more recently went the same way. We've managed perfectly well without either. I daydream about a simple life and slow living and this year I'm actively taking steps towards it.

Hi OP, sorry I don't have much time to write but just had a glance at this thread and straight away wondered if you've read anything by the writer and philosopher (and hermit) Sara Maitland? She's a wise and fascinating woman who has made life choices which can seem quite radical but resonate deeply with a lot of people I think..she has chosen silence and solitude and is very interesting on both.. The Book of Silence is her most well known book.

Julia yes, I have indeed, it's great stuff. It's funny, I was thinking no posters had mentioned the hermit aspect yet. To be honest, I am having days where my solitude freaks me out a bit. I know one person in particular is feeling neglected but you know how someone can be lovely but still feel like a drain?

Mischief how are you finding it? I still feel overwhelmed with stuff and starting to worry that 1) it might just be reaction to lockdown and 2) I might be trying to create a sense of space where it's not really possible to do so - my flat is not big. I have friends living in smaller flats but they have tons of stuff and seem to find it comforting rather than overwhelming.

@LunaHeather it's definite overwhelming at times. Frustrating when the rest of the family are not always working in the same direction. Scary at times, letting go of things is hard sometimes. Generally each step I take is hugely satisfying and I feel more fulfilled the simpler things get. I have a far less stressful jobs working better hours for myself and have savings I'm building up instead of eating away at each month.

I grow my own veg although I'm still an amateur, keep chickens for eggs, bake my own bread most of the time, sow and crochet what I can when it's needed, try to make do and mend and am consciously considering what to do each time we run out of something or it breaks rather than automatically replacing it. I'm horrified by how much there is to sort through. I've been clearing stuff out for two years now and yet there's still so much more. Each time I think I'm being ruthless but then see there's so much more. It's like stripping back layers until I get to what is really important. Clothes is my next area to target I think.

Thank you Mischief
I was beginning to wonder if I'm just being lazy and a wuss!

Lovely that you can do the veg, eggs, bread. Breadmaker is something I'm thinking to give away. Used three times in two years and actually, in a small flat, it's a big footprint.

@LunaHeather definitely not being a wuss. We've been conditioned to value all this stuff. Thanks hard to undo and goes against the grain in society generally. I think I've realised I'm feeling more me as I strip it all away but by bit. Got a long way to go yet though. I do use a bread maker for convenience at the moment but I'm hoping to get better at making it by hand over time. It is so much more rewarding when it's all your own work I find.

Thanks Mischief

I had terrible insomnia last night and did a bit more clearing.

For me, it's not stuff I bought that's the problem, it's more

1. paperwork, for which I blame HMRC. i've known a few law abiding people get picked on for investigation and they've all found it horrendous.

2. sentimental stuff. My family are/were big on travelling and buy souvenirs from everywhere.

3. clothes in varying sizes. Sadly I do vary a lot in weight, there is no point giving away either smaller or bigger.

I do have a weird fear about getting rid of things that I like. I do think I will drop some of it at mum's. For example, ornamental things that I like.....I feel like I'm condemning myself to live in a small flat forever if I give those away.

Goodness sorry about all the typos!