Church for non-believers

[RosaWaiting]

hi all
I have seen this topic come up before but I would be really interested to hear more views.

I am thinking of going to local church services and possibly becoming part of the community - they do various charity things.

I will be honest, there are two reasons for this. One is that the local community has completely changed, close friends have moved away and I thought it would be a good route to meeting more local people.

the other is that I have been in touch with the church because of helping with charity things that just happened to be there, if you see what I mean (food bank and homeless shelter).

The impression I have is that the Reverend and some other people I met - who I admit might be linked to the charities rather than the church - are very open minded people and would probably be okay with someone coming along for that reason.

so has anyone openly gone to church and said "not sure what I think about all this"?

the local community seems to be disappearing. A non-religious "hub" was recently closed down and I find myself wondering where everyone goes. I know my neighbours but we mostly commute into central London for work, most have children and are very busy and frankly with a few close friends who have moved out of London all together, I am finding I get a bit lonely. If I am prepared to schlep all over town and go to bars etc, then certainly there's no shortage of stuff for me to do. But I have no interest in any of that any more.

Interested to hear thoughts. Thank you.

I’m a vicars wife and I believe (and really hope our church is) that church is a place to explore faith, not just for those who already have it. We are very welcoming to people who don’t know what they think, while not trying to “convince” them, just openly sharing our faith and community.
Hope that helps

Abigwhale excellent username

thank you so much.

I suppose long term I'm wondering, what if I don't find anything - is it still okay to be part of the church community and attend service just because I might find it comforting in some way?

I spend the rest of Sunday with my elderly mother and tbh that is stressing me out so much, I feel like starting the day with a church service could be a good support, but I don't want to disrespect anyone else's beliefs.

Presumably I must not take part in eucharist? Or would that look odd?

it is a United Reform Church, which tbh I had to look up!

Our thing about communion is that it’s for anyone who’s intention is to receive Jesus. I don’t think it’s disrespectful to go to church if you’re not sure what you believe, some people might go for years and not “find it”. Doesn’t offend me. In its ideal form (and as churches we do get it wrong) the church is Jesus and everyone should find a compassionate and loving welcome.

I am going to go to the first ever Sunday assembly on our area tommorow if I get up in time. Sounds like church without any god which could be great. I wonder if you have it in your area as it spreading across the UK and if its reached my backwater then there is a good chance.

Rain AFAIK the nearest one to me is about an hour away. It would also mean that I didn't meet anyone local.

Golden why is that please?

@Rosa I would give it a go if you have a sense of spirituality, even if you don't believe in the high church and everything that the bible says.

(For me, there's a big difference in believing everything that different men have written/created over the years, and what believing in Christ and God actually means).

However, if you don't have any sense of spirituality what-so-ever, then how about joining a yoga/meditation group instead?

Athiest here.

I sometimes go to church and used to sing in the church choir, I even go to one of the home groups and do bible study. People know my views, I don't have to hide them or pretend to be something I'm not. I like the church community, the vicar and his family are lovely and the religion and history is fascinating. I'm white British and culturally Christian, celebrating Christmas and Easter (although admittedly these festivals have very little to do with religion anymore).

Golden if you dislike it so much, why do you go?

Family I'm looking for an anchor in local community/charity. I do have a sense of spirituality.

It does seem a nice church....an elderly friend of my parents ended up with a church visitor and sort of secretarial help from there, she was also an atheist but at the time, I was working 6 days a week and couldn't do any more to help (I used to do half a weekend day with her).

anyway, this church does seem particularly community minded which really attracts me.

I do admit freely, as per my OP, I'm sick to death of all the trekking about involved in being in London, I really miss the sense of local community I felt when I had 3 friends in walking distance.

x post with Ken thank you, that's interesting.

I don't want to offend anyone or upset them, but I don't want to lie outright about anything.

I work for a church and I would say the vast majority come for reasons other than faith! They have a wide spectrum of beliefs from quite devote to close to atheist but love choral music. There's an excellent book called the Christian Atheist in fact. The friendship, rituals, certainty etc of a church is far more than just religion. No one tries to "convert" you either at our church, we allow each other to be who we want to be, and as for the Vicar, he's no evangelical either, we've had sermons on dinosaurs!

I found a family I didn't know was missing, unconditional friendships.

I'm a big part of my local church. We'd absolutely welcome you, and not question your beliefs and why you come. We all have slightly different beliefs anyway. My Family often come, but don't necessarily consider themselves Christian.

Golden's context is quite specific. If you have met local church folk, and find them pleasant, then go for it.

I go to church to be more involved in something (as well as actually liking the people that go of course). Just last week one of the older ladies in the congregation was chatting about not getting involved with serving (in the Eucharist) because she's not really 100% sure about her faith so didn't think she was the right person. She has been going to church (and very very involved) for years and years. I always assumed she was very religious.

Sounds like a nice thing to do. I think following your instincts in these matters is important. Go for it if you feel like it.

Though I do think faith tends to grow from there, especially if you are already spiritual.
My local methodist church has always welcomed me to their family things (messy church, Christmas parties for the kids, various dinners etc) but I don't worship there. They've been lovely and really showed me how welcoming a faith community can be.

I really value what faith groups do in the local area to build a sense of community and encourage charity. Without these kinds of efforts from religious and non religious people the world would be a lonelier sadder place.

I would say go for it, sounds like the ideal place given you know some of the people and have been involved with charity work there.

And Golden, I don‘t know your situation but why don’t you go out, ie don’t be at home Sunday mornings.

It’s a great idea, why not go along and see how you get on. In over 30 years of regular church attendance (different churches, have moved around a lot), I don’t think anyone has ever questioned me directly about my beliefs . Golden, your situation sounds very serious, is it the JW who are forcing you to attend services?

The Church I attend is very involved in social outreach projects including a Food Bank & helping with rough sleepers, as others have said it is an excellent way of meeting people & getting involved in your local community.

Thank you for all the replies

I will definitely read that Mountford book - actually he looks really familiar, perhaps I've seen him on TV or something.

Golden sorry to hear your experience. The first thing that struck me was that you are probably not a Londoner - I can't imagine why they'd even know your address? But it sounds like a very extreme situation and I am sorry you are in it

Golden, what demonimation is that?

I have gone to church all my life and have never experienced what @golden describes ie they come and get you, I am committed and believe but if I was not there someone might text after to see if I was ill or on holiday but I would not be dragged there or wheeled out to perform anything
nothing would happen if I did not go, I feel the people at our church genuinely care about people they do not bible bash because you can't make anyone believe; many people come for the social side maybe they come to the toddler group or a cafe on a thursday afternoon just for a chat and good cakes, some never ever come on a sunday, they make it plain they just come for coffee and a chat and its fine

in fact @golden I think you need to leave that church it is not healthy if it makes you feel like that

also, I think if they were the "come and get you" type they would have tried to sell the church to me when I've been there for charity work?

they've never actually mentioned any church services to me, just general chit chat about the work being done. Oh, and asked what I thought about some local photos that were being put up. I certainly don't feel they've ever asked anything like "what's your address"!!!

I think it's a good idea and sounds like a good way of making new friends in the area.

Have you considered taking up an activity/sport? One that has a social aspect?

Most churches are great sources of comfort and as another poster has said, never question your faith , or lack of it.
It is a great way to become involved in helping others too, e.g. our church provides food and volunteers for the Foodbank, Street Pastors, Soup Kitchens, visiting care homes etc. But no pressure to do anything other than to just be welcomed as yourself.