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Original poster

If God never gives us more than we can handle

57 replies

Storm4star · 11/06/2018 22:27

Why do so many people commit suicide? Clearly they were given way more than they could handle. It’s one of the main reasons I have totally lost any faith I had.

OP posts:
headinhands · 13/06/2018 11:39

So your ‘god’ thinks that tiny babies can handle starvation, malaria, war, hiv etc etc.

But those babies have funny coloured skin and their parents are believing in a fake god so it's the parents fault.

headinhands · 13/06/2018 12:57

so they will be handling anything they receive on their own...

See I can't believe in a god who has less empathy than me. I would act if I saw anyone about to kill themselves regardless of how they felt about me; 'oh Jenny's about to jump of a bridge but she didn't send me a Christmas card so I won't do anything'.

And it's no good citing free will. How come it's okay for god to not want to intervene because of free will, but if I saw someone about to take a lethal overdose, and I decided to do nothing, I'd be considered a monster wouldn't I?

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 13/06/2018 13:23

My mum says this to me, It used to be comforting. It was her way of saying 'you are stronger than this'
The last time she said this, my response was not so Christian. 'God is having an effing laugh or a day off from giving a shit'
Mum was not best pleased.

I am sitting here now, next to my miracle baby. I had a baby with a strength and a will to live, a strength I didn't have.
I am unsure if I am a believer in God. Not because of my hardships but to see innocent children starving, being abused by an adult, I don't see how God created a planet that would not sustain the amount of life that had been created. Or how God allowed the devil to be in some people. I thought good was always stronger than evil.

I was brought up religious, I know my Mum is slightly disappointed that I can't see why I would believe in a God that is supposed to be so great, but can't stop innocent children from pain and starvation.

slippermaiden · 13/06/2018 16:32

I see things differently from some of the posts here. God doesn't cause people to have depression or commit suicide, He doesn't cause droughts, famines, HIV, these things just happen. I believe God is in us all and our acts of kindness and love are Him acting through us. An example might be as simple as talking with a lonely elderly neighbour, meeting a friend who is going through some shit. Non Christians might see this as being kind, and I see it as living as Jesus did, giving ourselves to others.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 13/06/2018 16:36

I just took it as an expression like 'this too will pass' or 'in a hundred years time, who will care if you accidentally mooned the entire PTA?'

slippermaiden · 13/06/2018 16:41

However I am fairly new to being a Christian and I can see how all the awful things in the world seem so bad, watching the news can make you feel hopeless about our world. How could there be a God? I feel drawn to my religion due to previous mild depression, spending time exploring feelings I had been ignoring for a few years I find myself to be so comfortable with Christianity, specifically Quakerism, and I feel so much better. Surely that is a good thing?

SleepingStandingUp · 13/06/2018 16:42

DamsonGin yes yes yes.
God gives special babies to special parents is up there with everything happens for a reason and God has a plan.
God's plan was that my friends baby should die from wonky chromosomes, there's a "reason" why by 18 months my son had had 7 operations and couldn't talk or eat orally. When I took an overdose at 21 there was actually nothing going on that I shouldn't have been able to handle? Erm yeah, thanks for that wisdom

headinhands · 13/06/2018 20:05

I believe God is in us all and our acts of kindness and love are Him acting through us.

Not sure if you're a Christian but what do you think about this exchange between Jesus and a Caaanite lady in the gospel of Matthew?:

his disciples came to Him and urged Him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.” 24 He answered, “I was only sent to the lost sheep of Israel.”25 The woman came and knelt before Him. “Lord, help me!” she said. 26 He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.” 27 “Yes, Lord,” she said, “but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”

I don't know how Christians justify this blatant racism. He was approaching her based solely on her genetics.

grasspigeons · 13/06/2018 20:08

I think people say it to get out of getting of their arse and helping the person having a problem out.

user546425732 · 13/06/2018 20:08

If God never gives us more than we can handle then he must think there are some incredibly strong people out there. I have come closer to suicide this last two weeks than I have ever been. Such a relief that a fictional character thinks that I can cope.

headinhands · 13/06/2018 20:09

God doesn't cause people to have depression or commit suicide, He doesn't cause droughts, famines, HIV,

I can only assume you either don't believe in the god of the bible OR you do and haven't read the Old Testament. God routinely used droughts and famines to punish people.

headinhands · 13/06/2018 20:23

user546 sorry to hear how awful things are for you at the moment. Would it be okay if I ask you what's been happening to make you feel so dreadful?

Promise I'm not imaginary!

💐

RebelRogue · 13/06/2018 20:53

Because God doesn't "give" anything.
Because there's no greater plan that we're a part of,no matter how much some people would like to believe.
The main organised religions schools of thought are command "you must.." or promise "you shall ..." both very handy to control the masses.

I believe in God but the Holy books,religions,places of worship etc are man made,altered and translated thus open to manipulation,interpretation and mistakes.

colouringinagain · 13/06/2018 21:05

As a Catholic this is something I struggle with too - the amount of shit that some people have to deal with (me inc) . My dm is of the mindset of the quote and if you reach out to God you'll be able to get through anything. And she's not had the easiest life.

But I can't believe in a loving God who gives her an illness to cure her of her gluttony Confused.

Like someone above said, I think shit happens but it's not given/planned by God. You can get support from prayer and your Christian community. But it doesn't make you immune to mental illness, and I totally agree with suicide being "dying from depression".

user546425732 · 13/06/2018 21:13

@headinhands have PM'ed you.

slippermaiden · 13/06/2018 23:27

Headinhands I'm still only discovering some parts of the Bible, apart from Genesis I haven't read any of the OT. I think I'm out if my depth in this debate... some people are so good at getting their point across clearly! I will go away and think about opinions on here, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my beliefs.

colouringinagain · 13/06/2018 23:39

Jesus came to make a New Covenant. That's what the new testament is all about. None of the gospel writers quoted Jesus as saying I'll only give you what you can handle.

MeltingSnowflake · 13/06/2018 23:41

My mother says this to me and, although I don't tell her, I think it's total bollocks too - I've lost beautiful, wonderful friends to illness and suicide who were 'given' much more than they could cope with.

IMO, gods were just a way humans attempted to make sense of the world while we didn't know any better - and they are still used as an explanation for what we can't/don't/won't understand.

thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts · 14/06/2018 08:31

I really dislike this phrase.

For me Christianity is about Jesus being alongside me in good times and in bad. When things have gone seriously bad I've done my fair share of shouting at God that this or that situation is not fair. There are some seriously shouty psalms which I find really helpful as they are the words of other people who have felt as shouty and angry as I have but written thousands of years ago. That helps me.

There is nothing in Christianity about life being fair. Or that life is going to be easy. The point for me is that Jesus is with me in the mess of life and that helps.

headinhands · 14/06/2018 08:40

I will go away and think about opinions on here, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my beliefs.

Gosh you haven't been offensive at all. Going away and thinking is what it's all about. That's good. I don't mean that to sound patronising. I do it all the time.

slippermaiden · 15/06/2018 14:50

Headinhands I read the Faith of a Canaanite Woman that you quoted upthread.... it goes on to say... Then Jesus answered her "O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire." And her daughter was healed instantly.

headinhands · 15/06/2018 17:22

it goes on to say... Then Jesus answered her "O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire." And her daughter was healed instantly.

Ah. So it's okay for my doctor to initially refuse to treat me because I'm not the right colour. But to then relent when I plead and acknowledge how scummy I am in his eyes?

headinhands · 15/06/2018 17:24

Wouldn't you be offended if your gp did this? Whose a mere human. But when Jesus does it, it's okay because in the end he heals her daughter. Why not just so it straight away with no mention of her race? Why refer to her as a dog? Sheesh

Walkingdeadfangirl · 16/06/2018 15:29

I get offended when I hear people thanking god, for answering their prayers by saving them from an illness, accident etc and completely ignoring the doctors, fireman etc who have spent years learning and training to actually save the person. And also ignoring all the other people in the hospital whom god doesn't answer their prayers and lets die.

But that's ok as long as your not given anything you can't handle.

Madhairday · 16/06/2018 20:32

I think it's an incredibly unhelpful saying with no grounding in the bible or what Christian belief is about at its roots. I think people have used it in a well meaning but damagingly wrong way and it certainly doesn't help those millions going through stuff beyond what they can bear. Inuding people of faith.

I find my faith sustaining in a much more profound and nuanced way than this clichéd, naive saying. My experience is of a God who is in the mess, as greenheart says, not one who sits somewhere above and hands out useless notions which do nothing but hurt more.

I'm so sorry, user, for your pain at the moment. Flowers