If you are Christian but don't go to "Church" what are your reasons?

[Cazee]

Reading another thread made me wonder. I am a Catholic, and I find Church deeply spiritual, I engage with my Christian brothers and sisters, I hear the word of God proclaimed and discussed and I reaffirm my faith. What's not to like ? I know many christians don't like to go to church, and I was wondering why. Perhaps negative experiences, grumpy parishoners?

That's all very well Cazee, but public humiliation is after al public humiliation.

Actually my faith isn't trad Christianity (I'm not convinced on God though I do try to follow the teachng of Christ as a philosophy, if that makes sense? What my Theology lecturer calls Christology) any more, and thats mainly because of experiences I have had with so- called Christians that made me question all my beliefs . I used to be verya ctive in the Church.

FWIW whren I began my course 2 years ago, there were 7 or 8 confirmed christians. there is one now, and he dallies with Messianic Judaism (! a minority belief if ever there was one) as well. Most follow the Christology perspective now. Living by Christian ethics without the theist aspect i suppose.

Totally agree with you Peachy...

I know I've ased before LAdyM, but whrereabouts are you from in Somerset? (mind blank session LOL)

I was brought up Catholic but rebelled (not exactly untypical)!!
Tbh I don't like the rigid formality of the service - the same thing every week - but I would quite like to find somewhere else. Quite fancy the Quakers - sitting in silence for an hour sounds good to me!
I do miss going somewhere on Sunday - probably as it is time out of everyday life to focus on the spiritual.

Peachy, a village west of Wells, north of the Tor, south of Cheddar and near the foot of yonder Mendip Hills...

Haven't been to church for ages (other than Christingle service with kids). Local church is very "happy clappy", has a band playing rather than an organist. I suppose I'm very traditional about going to church. Grew up in a parish where we sang traditional hymns, where going to church was about sitting in a quiet place, contemplating and listening, and worshipping in peace. I feel very embarassed by clapping along, people swaying in the aisles, raising their hands up - don't really know why.

(Being deliberately evasive should a fellow villager be present. Unlikely yes but 'tis a small world...! )

Used to go to village CofE though brought up RC. Previous rector wonderful - I felt church had a real spiritual dimension. New rector seemed to me about as spiritual as a floor mop. Then had a row with the sanctimonious organist and flounced out. Never been back (and the local chuch people don't have anything to do with me). May be someday, somewhere else. Meantime I chauffeur DS from activity to activity on Sunday.

admti it its cos its boringa nd they dont givemoney away

Ah yes

Dh spent many years hanging around Meare, desperately wants to go back (or did until he decided to do his BSc when I finish LOL)

Hmmm. That'll be about 3 miles away from me. I go through there on my way to Street!

Ah! Right. Used to work at Strode actually! DH was in AMsqueraders,, they build out at the Peat farm there.

Not only that Cod-I can't spend money there either-well and not have some lovely wedges to show for it

Is that something to do with the carnival?

Excuse hijack all

I need to go and watch Property Ladder - have already missed too much of it!

No doubt see you on another thread soon Peachy!

Peachy, I know public humiliation is awful, and I am really sorry about your horrid experience.. It is behaviour like that that is leading to churches filled with oap's, and no children at all. Just to address a few points
I feel that if I didn't go to church it is v unlikely that I would actually sit down and read the gospel that day. Always seems to be something to do...
My Mum also talks about saying the same words each week, but those words are SPECIAL. They have great meaning, and I am pleased to say them.
I really believe that without Christian friends it is much harder. To help us see when we are doing wrong, to pray for each other, to make us feel "normal", when christian values (eg giving money away, loving enemies) are often at odds with the values of the world. (Funnily enough it is often not at church I get this but from my non-Catholic, Christian friends.)

I don't go to church but would say I was Christian and did have some beliefs. I just don't feel that need to go to a church to share them. I am not that devout, just have a slight underlying belief that is part of me.

I like churches best when there are no people in them

Services too often seem to force my relationship with God into non-useful strictures - came away very cross after going with DH's cousin last week - two utterly random readings, a sermon that was actually a plea for money for the diocese linked to no spiritual message at all (because this was a rich church in Clapham) and a eucharist that seemed out of place in the whole proceedings.

IMO services should either involve me utterly (thinking of the well-themed Sundays of my Methodist childhood), or give me acres of space to spend time with God (sung cathedral evensongs with no congregational participation of my student days).
And be at 3pm of course .

Yes LM, the ones that win it every year LOL!

See you soon.

I know what you mean Caz BUT I read the Bible (and Qur'an etc- and get something from all of them) for Uni anyhow, plus I'm doing the Catholic and C of E teachers cert next year gfor my theology modules.

Its that old thing again about introvert V extrovert i think- I am most spiritual on my own, crowds just amke me nervous and I find it hard to cope with them.

The biys CofW school puts me off too, as it si very high Church and I find that hard- they're all ceremony and youre either with us or against us, whilst I try to just be accepting and peaceful.

I find that going to church with two small children is in no way spiritually enlightening for me. I can in no way concentrate on the service; I am trying to make sure that DS and DD are letting other people experience the service in the way they want to.

Personally I find that choral evensong is the most beautiful service. I would love to be able to go to it (on my own) at least once a month. I feel a lot closer to God when I can have a space of my own.

Mrs Badger, I agree with you. Churches with no one in are a lot nicer than ones with lots of people in (IMHO of course).

It is really interesting to hear how many people have had bad experiences at church. For the people who don't go, if the people were friendly, you were greeted at the door, there was a place for children to play, and their was tea/biscuits and chat after, would you go?

Ditto Hulababy.

Haven't found one in our area we 'click' with yet. Still looking, although I confess, not very hard. Would like DD to go to Sunday school though, so will probably try again soon.

Cazee it's not the tea-and-biscuits bit that gives me issues - the service I decsribed in my last post was heaving with friendly people, I was greeted, offered tea, children well catered for etc - it was the actual God Bit that got me worked up.

I wasn't being flippant about the tea and biscuits, I really feel that the socalising part is often missed out, as if it doesn't matter. What service did you attend last week MrsBadger, was it Catholic?