Christian prayer thread for spring

[Dutchoma]

BES has no computer at the moment and has sent me a very comprehensive list of prayers partners.
Rather than put this is the middle of an ongoing thread I thought it would be better to start a new thread, so all the names stay at the top.

amberlight - for her work supporting people with autism, and for health and happiness for her and her family.

BlackEyedSusan - for all that she has to juggle as a single mum, for ds who has ASD, dd who might have ASD and dyspraxia (waiting for appointments) and for her mum. Also for the computer to be mended

Bloomed- New year, fresh start

Cocoaleaves - for issues around the safety of her DS.

Colabottles64- struggling with infertility.

DancingUnicorn - new to the thread, most welcome

Dontbesilly - for strength as she grieves the loss of her dad, for her DD's school issues, and for Dont's recovery from a car accident. For DH and his recovery from a heart attack and finding her phone!

drspouse - for happiness and a warm welcome in her new church and for dcs

DutchOma - with gratitude for all she does to support people on this thread and elsewhere.

EddSimcox - for her dd, for her relationship with DP and her parents and her growing faith.

FaithLoveandHope - for her anxiety and depression to lift and for her to be able to avoid falling into despair and self-harm, and for her relationship with her DSD.

girlandboy- family and faith

Lissette-anxiety and thanks for lots of prayers for others on this thread.

MadHairDay - for her health, and those pesky lungs. For her friend.

Musicposy- CT scans, diagnosis and treatment, giving thanks that some progress with diagnosis has been made

Nickel- for church and her disability, and a friend moving on from DV

NoRoomForALittleOne - Giving thanks that he operation was successful. For freedom from pain and recovery.

Orchidflower1- for help with her anxiety and the relationship with her husband

PositiveAttitude - for her whole family, but especially her DD1 who has been depressed, her dgs who was born early and poorly, her mum and dad, her DH and his work. Above all, we pray for PA herself, who is always there for others when they need her, for her studies, and for a potential house-move.

QoF - for her relationship with her DH.

sadandanxious- for help with anxiety

StillSmallVoice MIL has an invasive malignant melanoma for dd and historical abuse investigation.

Tunnocks - after the loss of her husband
Trazzletoes- for her young DS, Joe, who is having treatment at Great Ormond Street Hospital- bereavement, losing her DH

TUO - who has had to withdraw from the thread for a while through business in real life.

Zombie clan- remembering Candy and MummyLin

And also thinking of friends who haven't visited for a while, or who pop in only occasionally, including: abbsismyhero, ALittleFaith, Anjelica27, Aphie, applesandpears33, Badders123 Bluetinkerbell, clementineorange, CoolCarrie, DancingUnicorn, FlappysMammyAndPopeInExile guinessgirl (how is your friend?)HardyLeodicean itshappenedagain, Kaykat, JugglingFromHereToThere, ktef, LarrytheCucumber legohurtswhenyoustandonit,LifeOfBriony,LittleBootsTheBabe, Mary, originalmavis, ozymandiusking Pandora97, pklme SESthebrave shortscotty,SingaSong12 SparkyStars Sugarpiehoneyeye The Woollyback'sWife Weegiemum, ZippidiSoozi and others.

And, as always, prayers for anyone I've forgotten (with apologies), for all who lurk but don't post, and for newbies who may not have posted yet.

Sorry, that message should have begun "thankyou" no idea where it disappeared to

Oh my dear heart, 'not good enough for God'? God does not have entry requirements, He is just holding out His arms of love to you, wanting the very best for your life.
If this has come out of you being in a 'lovely' church I would really question the loveliness of it all if the departure of the vicar would cause you to lose all support you could have had.
Where is the person who deals with the needs of disabled people like you? Where the pastoral support that is given by other members of the congegation? All these are part of a lovely, vibrant and live church. Nobody has the right to demand things from you that you are unable to give.
Jesus had such care for the vulnerable, the people who felt they were not good enough, He has loving care for you and I pray that He will send an angel to comfort you. Look out for him/her.

Made it on holiday and even arrived before dark. Praying for mhds lungs.(and the rest of you) and Becca. Find a better church but stay here for now too. If they really want church spoilt I shall bring Ds. That'll larn 'em! I have another set of finger nail marks and lots of sand after a beach meltdown Posting from ex's phone. May get chance to wrestle the phone from Ds again soon. (Maybe another week)

Dear Becca. I just want to echo what Oma said. I am really sorry that you are not getting the support from your church and it's no surprise that you are feeling the way you do.

I am so glad you came to the thread. It's so supportive and there is always someone who is ready to help you. I have had a tough two years and these people have been so, so incredible and I am so grateful. So you are in good hands coming here.

I think that the church people who suggested that you attend more then perhaps ask for prayers and suggest that you spoiled a service are really not very nice at all. You deserve so much better!!! I understand that it's difficult for you but a new church could be what you need right now. You are always good enough for God there are no entry requirements and it's not a private members club and he doesn't turn anyone away. Especially those in need. Really hoping that you can start to see and feel this and that gradually things start to get easier.

Lissette I am improving slowly and I still have a lot of regular hospital appointments. I am back to driving which is a massive improvement and something that I needed to do again. I am hoping things are going well for you. How are you?

Bes have a really good time away and happy phone wrestling I hope that you can win a round and keep us posted on how you are doing.

There isn't another church. Am very rural, and, cannot travel. Struggling a lot mentally, keep crying. God is punishing me, those who I keep being told can help won't (mental health workers/social workers telling me how I'm not ill or haven't made proper attempt to die so attention seeking means I don't reach out to anyone anymore because that makes it worse. Can't get to medical care).

Becca that sounds really quite desperate, I'm so sorry life is so bleak for you. Of course the presence of God does not depend on the church, it seems that you are better out than in at the moment.

What do you mean: not made a proper attempt to die? Have you been suicidal? Are you having any help at all? Help that really helps, if you see what I mean? What would you say is your greatest need? Whatever it feels like, God is still there.

Oh another thing: God is not punishing you, that is not in His nature. Sometimes our own acts have consequences, but from what you have written so far it sounds like life has dealt you a difficult hand. It is never God who wants bad things to happen. If the church you attended has even hinted at things being 'your own fault because you have been a bad girl', then that is totally unbiblical and totally wrong. Things may be bad, but it is not your fault. Or God's.

Yes I've been suicidal and attempted, several times. "Help" was a cancer ward with nurses complaining I should be grateful I don't have cancer. I was admitted to mh ward but psychiatrist discharged within a day saying hospital not for people like me. Their meds worsened epilepsy so I stopped them, on medical advice, but now I'm labelled 'non compliant'.

Need at the moment security, but on benefits being constantly reviewed that's impossible.

I have done things which deserve punishment.

Ian grateful I don't have cancer but that doesn't mean idling struggle.

We have all done things which 'deserve punishment', Becca. Jesus came to reconcile us to God, to show that God is not vindictive and 'out to get us'. Once we have accepted that, we can stop beating ourselves up and live a new life. Do you know that song: We are a new creation, no more in condemnation, here in the love of God I stand'. You can probably find it on YouTube. You need to come to an acceptane of the truth of that and stop punishing yourself.

Becca. I am feeling that there are two things that you need help with. One church and your faith and two medical care. I think that you are not getting the sufficient support for either. I totally understand that things are difficult for you to get to, however that should not be an issue with the proper support in place for you. I think that perhaps if just one thing got sorted out it might just be the start of something else. For example if you started to feel spiritually reconnected and happier with that and supported, it could perhaps help you feel better and seek help in other areas.

What is your gp surgery like? Is there any gp that you have a preference for? Is it worth making a double appointment with them and asking for help and support? I don't want you to become trapped in the system and ignored. It's not fair!!!

Again I second what Oma said. Everyone has done something wrong in life but it's not something that God punishes us. However I can see that when you are low and struggling with such a lot and there doesn't seem to be any support anywhere, that you can begin to think like that.

Please know that this is all sortable and it's not going to be overnight but it can happen. I understand that systems in place just don't work for everyone and some people are left to suffer and it's not fair and it's ok to go back to basics and ask and ask again for help.

Just wondering if you wanted to give us a list of what you are looking to change and seek help with and we can put our heads together and try to come up with a sort of plan of approach and the support to help you with this. Sorry if I am totally off the mark I am just trying to get you some help. Just a thought have you ever seen an occupational therapy team? They are really surprisingly good and knowledgeable and supportive in lots of ways.

I went into church today hoping to see someone but they were busy with their regulars and only see people Wednesday's. I sat and prayed longer than I have in a long time. I did get panicky, the point is I tried. It probably doesn't sound much but it really is a lot.

My GP is really good and has repeatedly referred me for mental health team but it's rejected. They refuse to see me under any (including crisis) circumstances preferring I phone Samaritans or NHS direct instead (both of whom direct me to crisis services).

On top of that I've had Bell's palsy for a very long time, which means I get frequently bullied. Today my face is very swollen for example and I find I get temporary paralysis on that side of my body with my face dropping as well as swollen. The nearest neurologist is eight hour round trip which due to chronic pain conditions (badly controlled due to being unable to get to pain clinic which is also eight hour round trip) I can't get to.

I had an OT assessment but I couldn't afford to hand over all my income they required all my DLA, disability premiums and ESA group premium to be given to them to pay for care and landlord wouldn't give me a long term contract for the work they said was needed - which I'd be required to pay for. It cost a fortune in medical letters as everything I said I struggled with they wanted confirmed by consultants. I don't have consultants any more. I have GP and see someone from social services but they won't do anything without more consultant letters which I now cannot get.

Having both mental and physical disabilities means I've no access to services as they've been split and every meeting I've had, including with advocates (there aren't any anymore I asked) and even a solicitor resulted in me being asked to choose between mental and physical needs which I can't do.

I've really had enough.

That is really good Becca that you went into church and prayed, but I'm sorry you didn't get the chance to speak with anybody.
I must admit that I find it hard to understand why you get so little help, but glad that you have at least a GP who listens to you.
Occupational Therapy should come under NHS services, not privately arranged at high cost, again I don't really understand how it all works. Keep talking to us if it helps. Dont and I are praying for you.

The OT services themselves are NHS only for impatients here, outpatients is via social services and free. However, medical letters to prove what I'm going through is no longer NHS but private work and costs a lot as a result.

Actual service provision care/adaptations etc is paid for via benefits which due to other costs I can't afford.

It's difficult to explain. Sorry.

And thankyou for praying. It means a lot.

Becca it sounds like such a lot you are dealing with, and I cannot begin to imagine. I will be praying too that you are able to find a way through the red tape to get to the help you need. It seems very unfair that you are left with no help at all because you are suffering doubly.

I will also pray that you next visit to church will result in you getting to speak to somebody.

If you are not able to physically get to church, you may find there are some churches where you could follow and participate in the service at home via a web link. I know it may not be what you really want. Praying as well for your church, and that they start to see your needs and can pray for you too!

Becca - it's quite a big thing that you achieved in getting to church and being able to pray and for as long as you did and especially given the panic that you experienced. It's something that you should try to gain strength from as it's really quite an achievement that you did it.

It's a shame that the church people were busy with other's to spend time with you but you know what, you got to church and prayed to God which is more important. Perhaps if you manage to go again they might be able to see you if you want to do that. You might tick their nonsense criteria boxes of attending and qualifying for support. Common sense and compassion obviously don't count for anything else it seems with them and it is shown in how you are being treated.

I am not much help to you as I thought based on my own experience that occupational therapy was via the nhs and free. It just doesn't seem fair that it is not accessible to you. Have you ever contacted a charity for the disabled. They might have an adviser who can give you some advice on how to tap into whatever you are entitled to and just what is available. There surely must be such much more than you are receiving.

What about posting on the health board under life limiting conditions and possibly someone who is better informed can give you some idea of where to start and what is in your area.

As for the bullying. It's unacceptable and it's an offence to do that to you. You don't have to put up with that. Please don't let them get to you as you are better than that. Keep a diary of incidents if you don't feel strong enough to tackle this now as you have a lot going on now, and it's all valuable information for when you do get in a better position and it will happen and then you can decide how you can deal with things and if you want to tackle the bullying you have a good body of proof.

I am praying for you for strength and that you can find the support to make changes and access what you deserve both spiritually, medically and in every area of need.

I personally would make a double doctors appointment and see the nice gp and insist that you get help. I would also contact my mp as it's something that they can help you with and sometimes they carry weight and get things done just by mentioning that you are in contact with them.

Please let us know how you are doing today.

Thanks. Am very emotional (and unwell) so forgive me if this doesn't come out right. I do appreciate the help and support. Unfortunately I've been forced to cancel my holiday today as I'm unwell.

I've not done my own thread because I have in the past and it's turned nasty and been deleted - I live hours away from hospital treatment and cannot physically or mentally cope with hospital transport (a lot of pain physically (contrary to what some think they don't stop for rest or toilet breaks they just drive from one patient to another and if clinic over runs you have to leave and go without appointment) and being crammed in taxi with strangers is very hard emotionally) - which ended up running to pages about how I was being selfish, not trying and didn't want to get better. The Bell's palsy resulted in posts about how it's a very temporary condition (sadly for me it's not). My pain conditions which I'd been told were genetic ended up with arguments about how I'm fat and need to eat healthily - difficult when you can't prepare healthy food and don't have a freezer. I might try again one day but not right now.

The OTs were great and really tried, it's just policy here to charge for all medical letters and from consultants it runs to hundreds of pounds, the care prices are similar. It varies hugely from area to area is my understanding. I was on a disability forum and I learnt from a post there how much it varies from county to county so don't worry.

I see my GP every week in a double appointment - except this week as they're on leave but I'll mention the things you have then.

I did try a disability charity but as I'm in a (very) rural part of Wales services are based in the south which I cannot get to, there's nothing in by way of charitable support, we don't even have CAB anymore here. I'll try my MP though who is new and can't be any worse than our last with regard to healthcare and benefits.

What a shame about your holiday. The weather here has been dreadful for the past two days, but today the sun is shining.
I am glad you see your doctor regularly.

Had letter about my DLA being switched to pip, am really distressed. Please, pray for me.

I will certainly pray.

There was a thread on here about how they assess you. It was in aibu. Useful for tips.

Tea is from the co-op. We are very late. Ex is just washing up. So I can put it on plates.

Mum is out of hospital and home.

About to have phone wrestled away.

Thanks. I think I posted on it so it should be in my massively huge list of threads I've posted on so I'll have a look. My main problem is at the moment I rang and the person I spoke to said I didn't qualify as I don't have a telephone.

Good to hear that your mum is home BES, they must think it is safe to discharge her. (One would hope).
That's the daftest thing I 've heard yet Becca: you rang them but they said you did not qualify (for PIP?) becausee you didn't have a telephone? What did you ring them on, a bicycle bell?

I don't own my own phone. I used a public one. They said I must own one. I don't because I struggle so much to use a phone due to voices. Sorry I didn't explain that at all well in my last post!