Choirs, worship songs, after service coffee - the all new religion chat thread

[niminypiminy]

A new place for us to share the lovely, silly and annoying things that happen in church life and share our great love of Graham Kendrick.

No singing at mine either. We do however get to know each other much better, pray for each other, and explore ideas. It can be hard to make time for it. Maybe you and DH could take turns going?

Hi campfire. I'd love a house group but we don't have any at my church (unless / until I set one up perhaps??!). We are just starting to explore 'virtual' groups - a small group of us who are cyclists are setting up a what's app group for support and prayer and anger-management around cycle-rage in rush hour! I guess that's quite a London thing

In terms of making time in the evenings for other things though, I think you just have decide what to prioritise and make time if you decide that it's your thing (and if there's no daytime group - that must surely be the best answer if you are a sahm or working part-time). Perhaps DH could come early one night a week and be sole charge of the DC that one night? You could do the same for him of course if that isn't already the situation 7/7!

That is hard though and for me everything switched first when we got an AP. And then again when DD1 was old enough to do a couple of hours babysitting which really makes life a lot more flexible. The early years are just frantic arent' they if you have a lot of after school on.

Hi campfire
welcome :)

My church growing up was traditional and we covered our statue of Mary and the crosses all through lent.
I was shocked when I joined my last church and found they didn't, but now am.used to the idea so find it weird at anglo-catholic churches when.they do!

I never classed myself as anglo-catholic - more just traditional - I like things to be done how they're supposed to be done.

Church saga still going on. Found that pcc have "made" asst organist into organist without actually sacking dh from the post - if they weren't going to accept the sabbatical, they should have communicated with him about it - organist is an official post, not just a compliment!
And on top of that, I found two more copies of the survey on.the display, complete with my name.
So, they don't understand pcc procedure, possibly employment law, definitely safeguarding and the equality act, nor data protection law.
I've made it into an official complaint because it's completely beyond a joke now.
I have got a catalogue of knobbish behaviour from them, and the official complaint might have to stir up a lot of it - especially the safeguarding thing where they say I'm not allowed to do X because I might habe a meltdown, but expect me to do X(I) just because there's noone else to do it - inconsistency in safeguarding is very naughty indeed

When my children were tiny we hosted a house group for a while and it meant I could go. Some nights if I was tired I'd just show them the kettle and they got on with it whist I went to bed. If weeknights are a problem is there any mileage in a breakfast club? You get together for breakfast on a Saturday and everything is done by mid morning leaving the rest of the day for family stuff.

Sorry it's all still so rubbish, nickel :(

Welcome campfire! I think homegroups are great - can be great anyway as long as they don't go stale/cliquey. It's just about being aware. I've just joined one in new church and it's lovely - very supportive, a lot of raucous laughter - I think I'll enjoy it :) definitely worth looking at possibilities. Is there any way you could host one so you don't have the childcare issue? It's hard when they're young

Hi niminy! I'm so sorry about your mum and yay at the worship band! Rock those Matt Redmans I love the sound of a violin in worship, I can imagine it in I cannot tell. Beautiful.

Edd - the benediction sounded interesting. I've never been to something like that either. Interesting reflection about it being detached. Would love your reflections on a full on evangelical service (open as opposed to conservative of course...)

Loving new church here. Dh too tho super super busy. I'm leading on an alpha day today so excited about that.

I went to an evangelical service the other week, just to see what it was like, and because it is a city centre church that is very popular locally, with a very big congregation, a strong sense of community and lots of projects helping people in the wider community.

There were a lot of things I really liked about it - it was very welcoming to newcomers, with everything explained clearly. The worship was very well-organised. The sermon was engaging, and at least as thought-provoking as any I would encounter in my home church. There were a wide range of ages represented, although most people seemed to be middle class. Although I didn't notice anyone with a visible disability, I got the impression that a lot of thought had been put into making the building and worship accessible. I'm not keen on the music of the service, but the band were very good. There was a screen at the front with a video count-down to the start of the service, which build-up anticipation really well and meant that everyone was ready. The people were very nice and friendly.

The only thing I really disliked were the prayers that the congregation would look hard at their finances and give more money to the church.

The rest was probably a matter of style - that style of worship doesn't make me feel any closer to God, whereas the woman next to me felt that way about my preferred type of church service. And I find the language of evangelical services makes me feel very uncomfortable, but that's partly down to my personal history. And there was no Eucharist, which is very important for me.

So overall, I don't think I'll be going to evangelical services on a regular basis, but I do think that they have a lot of things I could learn from.

Thanks everyone for all the advice. I think house group is something I would like to do. Will have a think about maybe hosting (although that means keeping house clean and tidy!).

broomstick you and me are quite similar in some ways I think

mhd I've only been to one evangelical service so far. I was so out of my comfort zone that I couldn't get in to it at all. But my comfort zone is much bigger now I think so I'm really keen to try again, as I know there will lots I could learn. There's a big inclusive evangelical church called Oasis near Waterloo - Steve Chalke's gaff - I'm going to try there one of these days. Look forward to reporting back! I'm so glad all is going well at your new church. How are your lungs?

nickel so sorry it's all still so crap...

I'm a bit allergic to Evangelical worship after a really unhappy experience at a church I used to go to. I think I ought to give it another go though. I'd love to come to Steve Chalke's gaff with Edd - I wonder if they ever do a midweek service - Sundays are usually busy

Posted too soon! Sorry things are still so rubbish Nickel. I was thinking about you the other day as we are embroiled in a huge row about which version of the Lird's Prayer to use - IIRC this was one of the early things that went wrong with NV.

I can't believe how melodramatically people are acting over it all - well, I probably can actually. The joys of church life! On the plus side everyone has been absolutely lovely since my mother died. The joys of church life!

Edd and Niminy - I've heard Steve chalke speak lots and always found him really good, thought provoking and helpful. Oasis sounds great.

I can understand how evangelical churches have burned people and put people off. There are some really toxic ones out there, ultra conservative and to me, unloving. I prefer to call myself open evangelical. I adore charismatic worship but have learned to appreciate lots of styles over the years and truly believe it's what we bring to the worship that matters - our heart. Saying that we all have natural preferences and that's a good thing.
I just want the church to be unified in the love of Christ and no bickering against one another... maybe one day?!!

There's a line in the collect for the week of Christian unity which I really love - something about finding or discovering the unity that is at the centre of God's purpose for his church. One day - hopefully before the coming of the kingdom!

I think the thing is I'm really not a charismatic, but on the other hand it's really good to try and enlarge my comfort zone! And I'm really pleased to play the violin in the worship band as long as we play I cannot tell every time especially as it's a peacemaking move in the war of the Lord's Prayer.

I love following OurCofE of Twitter to get a feel for the people behind the various styles of worship.

I do too Broomstick. In fact I follow a ton of C of E people, and chat a lot on there about faith and church related stuff - mainly inclusion and other political issues as you all might have guessed.

niminy I want to hear all about the Lord's Prayer war. And hear you play the fiddle. And I completely agree about comfort zone expanding, which is why I go to as many different places as I can. Second only to Benediction , weirdest so far Zagreb cathedral. But next up deffo a big evangelical service with full on band, screens, etc... Sadly Oasis don't do weekdays, but I'll let you know when I'm going on the off chance!

mhd if you have any recommendations I'd love to hear them...

niminy I'm amazed you remember the lord's prayer/nv thing
Yes, we got over that. I never thought that kind of disagreement would continue. He's very good at saying but no good at doing

My tuppen'orth. I still.prefer the traditional (1928) version.
I think, in order to keep everyone happy, BOTH should be printed in the service book and the presiding priest should decide - however I also would add that they must tell the choir/other leaders which version they'll use that day (actually, having it printed on the rota would be ideal so everyone knows in advance - and no more than 2 moderns in a month should be allowed)

I always think of the 1662 version as the proper one.

Oh, and since i lodged my complaint (it's being dealt with properly, which I feel awful about, but it's the only way), I went to go into church yesterday to check they hadn't continued with their idiocy and found they've changed the lock.
Changed the bloody lock!
They've decided that they really, really don't want to reconcile. At all.
But it's dh they're doing this to, not me, really, they've locked him.out and haven't even had the decency to contact him about any of it. Not even a text or an email, during any of it.
CW is dd's godmother ffs, she's known dh for years

broomstick I do when we're using BCP, but when we're doing CW (or before ASB), it's between 1928 and modern

This fell off my active conversations so I'm very late to the party!

But.

House group - I've been part of some great ones. Can't do it right now for arduous reasons, but especially in a higher church I think they're a great way of getting to know each other better, and deepening faith rather than religiosity. Never sung at ours!

When I had small children k hosted (but didn't lead) a house group which worked really nicely. No sitter needed for me, a reason to tidy the house once a week, and the leaders loved being able to just turn up and not need to race home and organise their house as wells the study.

I miss that. But now live somewhere where you can't really get more than 5 people in our sitting room, so that wouldn't be possible any more.

I should probably set up some kind of prayer triplet thing. But I hate praying aloud...

Veiling the cross for Lent... We'd have to have a cross to do that! Ditto altar. We aren't terribly traditional Anglican. Do bring a large wooden cross in on Good Friday though, and on Sunday it gains a crown and a purple stole. Rest of the year it lives in the prayer room unless it's being used for a passion play.

They could not have made it any clearer Nickel that they don't want you back. I feel most sorry for your dh, this must hurt a lot after all he has given to the church. Hopefully it will free you up to find a church somewhere you are appreciated.

I'm shocked. Lost for words. Nickel that's awful. And there are still Lord's Prayer wars?!

The bishop came to us the other day, I wonder if he noticed we had flowers and nothing was veiled? We had polished though, and gone up ladders to attack the cobwebs!

I just hoped that they, at some point, would have gone "oh, no, we're not handling this well, we need to reconcile." But what they've done is go "oh! It's like that is it! We'll show you !"

But there we go. I've done the forgive them seventy times seven times. They were supposed to do the leave your gift in front of the altar and reconcile with your brother.
I can't being myself to believe that they understand what they're doing :(

pickle flowers in lent?!

it's okay - tradition says no, but it's more to do with showing penitence - no need innthe modern day if you're not a traditional church (actually, one year we had flowers in kent, so!)
Did you know that you're not supposed to have flowers in Advent either? Because it's also a penitential season.

We're not very seasonal, physically speaking. So we have an altar cloth with all colours in it so it doesn't get changed. We do follow the lectionaries most of the time and use collects. We mark specific days, and dread preaching on Trinity Sunday... But we don't decorate the church differently. Well. We have an advent wreath, which despite all our attempts remains adorned with masses of gold tinsel. When we get our way and have tasteful evergreen leaves to symbolise renewal/everlasting life (?) it will be with a heavy heart as it will mean the glitter fairy must be too poorly to do it.