A new Christian prayer thread for summer...

[Tuo]

This thread is a safe space where anyone - regular, occasional visitor, lurker, committed Christian or waverer - is welcome to come and leave their prayers in the knowledge that they will be prayed for. No problem is too big or small to share here, and if you just want to come and say 'hi', that's fine too.

Looking back through our previous thread, we pray in particular for:

abbsismyhero - for help with her anxiety and relationship with an abusive ex.

amberlight - for her work supporting people with autism, and for health and happiness for her and her family.

Aphie - for her fiancé's family following the sudden death of his uncle, and for her anxiety.

BlackEyedSusan - for all that she has to juggle as a single mum, for her DC, and for her mum.

Bluetinkerbell - five years on from the loss of her baby DD, Sterre.

Cocoa button - for issues around the safety of her DS2.

Dontbesilly - for strength as she grieves the loss of her dad, for her mum and the rest of her family, for her DD's school issues, and for Dont's own health.

drspouse - for full recovery from a recent chest infection and for happiness and a warm welcome in her new church.

DutchOma - with gratitude for all she does to support people on this thread and elsewhere, and for her to find peace and joy in her life following the loss of her beloved Bob.

EdithSimcox - for her to find joy and fulfilment in her faith and understanding and support from her DP.

ethelb - for her MIL who has blood clots in her leg and suspected sarcoma, and for all who love and care for her.

FaithLoveandHope - for her anxiety and depression to lift and for her to be able to avoid falling into despair and self-harm, and for her relationship with her DSD.

greyscalealmond - for her depression to be alleviated and for family relationships.

HardyLeodicean - especially for her FIL and for a recently-bereaved friend.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece - for her friend's pregnancy.

LarrytheCucumber - for family members involved in fostering and adoption, for the DC involved, and for their birth parents and all involved in their ongoing care.

LifeofBriony - for her relationship with her DH and for her DD's friend, J, who is in a coma after a seizure.

LittleBootsTheBabe - for healing and happiness for an acquaintance of hers.

MadHairDay - for her health, and for her whole family at a time of change and uncertainty.

Malefriendproblem - for her relationship with an old friend which has turned sour, and for her DD who suffers from anxiety.

Newmamatobe - for her new life with her baby DD and free of alcohol.

niminypiminy - who will be ordained very soon.

passportmess - for her friend who has schleroderma.

Paulat2112 - for friends who are experiencing relationship difficulties.

PositiveAttitude - for her whole family, but especially her DD1 who has been depressed, her pregnant DD2, her mum and dad, her DH and his work. Above all, we pray for PA herself, who is always there for others when they need her, for her studies, and for a potential house-move.

QoF - for her relationship with her DH.

SESthebrave - for all who are grieving over the loss of a friend from church, for work-related decision-making, and for the friend who was Best Man at her wedding whose relationship has broken down following his wife's infidelity.

SouthernLassie - for her relationship with a colleague.

sweetandsour - for her auntie who has been diagnosed with cancer, and for her mum and all who love and care for her auntie.

Teallove - for her to feel free to move on following the breakdown of a relationship.

Trazzletoes - for her 6-year-old DS who has previously had cancer and who is now unwell again - praying for a swift (and hopefully reassuring) diagnosis and for Trazzletoes and all who love him at this worrying time.

Tweebee - for her DS to settle at nursery.

And also thinking of friends who haven't visited for a while, who who pop in only occasionally, including ALittleFaith, Anjelica27, Kaykat, JugglingFromHereToThere, ktef, legohurtswhenyoustandonit, Pandora97, shortscotty, weegiemum and others.

And, as always, prayers for anyone I've forgotten (with apologies), for all who lurk but don't post, and for newbies who may not have posted yet.

This prayer was posted by Edith on the old thread, and I really like it and would like it to stand for what this new thread is all about:

All that we are, Lord,
we place into your hands.
All that we do, Lord,
we place into your hands.

Everything we work for,
we place into your hands.
Everything we hope for,
we place into your hands.

The troubles that weary us,
we place into your hands.
Thoughts that disturb us,
we place into your hands.

Each that we pray for,
we place into your hands.
Each that we care for,
we place into your hands. Amen

Delighted to read this Dutchoma. Prayers now for good treatment reaction.

NOW to pray.

Really pleased to hear this - thanks be to God. I will pray the treatment goes as well as it can.

Really pleased for Joseph - thanks lord

My dear 81 year old mother had a hip replacement today. The operation went well but her case is not entirely straight forward.Please pray for a swift full recovery for her.

Certainly BFC. Does she live near you? Can you visit?

Well, I've been busy busy busy again and am about to head off on holiday (not now, first thing tomorrow) but have been reading through when I can and keeping you all in my prayers in the meantime.

Prayers especially tonight for...

barefootcook's mum after her operation;

Joseph for minimal side-effects from the latest round of chemo;

MHD and family as her DH moves to a new job;

Pawprintz for your illness to be manageable for you and for you to be able to let go of your sense of guilt. You have not done anything wrong - you are ill, which is a different thing altogether. And God is not angry with you, I promise. God loves us in our weakness and through all our faults. I am praying that you will be aware of his love holding you at this difficult time.

Kittens - for solace following your miscarriages and for you to find comfort if possible in sitting in a church and just knowing God's peace. You don't have to 'do' anything, you know... just let the stillness of the place be your comfort.

Also praying for WasChibi on her travels, for her anxiety not to get in the way of enjoying being in new places and seeing new things.

And praying also for MrsP, another traveller at the moment.

Prayers too for all on this thread and for those who lurk. Prayers particularly for those who'd like to post, but don't dare or don't feel confident enough in their beliefs to do so. If you are one of those people, please know that we are praying for you anyway.

From one of the Northumbria complines:

Keep Your people, Lord,
in the arms of Your embrace.
Shelter them under Your wings.
Be their light in darkness.
Be their hope in distress.
Be their calm in anxiety.
Be strength in their weakness.
Be their comfort in pain.
Be their song in the night. Amen

See you all in a couple of weeks!

Hi everyone. Having a really, really bad time. Sadness that is overwhelming me and frightening too.

The bereavement counselling sessions are not covering the bereavement issues. What is coming out is the amount of sheer pressure I am under as a wife, mum, daughter etc.

Dc and dh are never happy with anything. Both are spending money on things not essential and we just can't afford it. I am so worried about the spending getting out of control. Dc moaning about never having xyz like everyone else, yet from where I am, I see that isn't true. Ok some things they don't have but otherwise yes. New iPhones, the contracts for the phone, expensive driving lessons, false nails, lessons in our car and on it goes.

I cook a meal. It's rank so I am informed. It goes in the bin. Breakfast cereal is then eaten. However I am assured by my mother and dh's parents my food is lovely. The cost of food waste is out of hand. They would live on fast food but apart from the health implications, it's expensive.

All I do is nag about money and the lack of help around the house. I can't remember the last time I was happy or relaxed or did something for me. I don't mean for example washing my hair. I mean reading a book or watching TV that sort of thing.

I am praying hard for things to improve with money, attitudes towards me and for the frightened and miserable feeling of sheer and utter despair and hopelessness to go.

I realise that this is an insignificant problem compared to what I have recently gone through and what others are experiencing. I am lucky to have what I do have. Yet fear of the next outburst from the dc, dh or the dc supported by dh absolutely frightens me. It's absolutely not aggressive behaviour, I don't want anyone to misunderstand. It's just incessant and constant complaint and strops about this and that. Me vs them. The big mean person in charge of the money says no and the moaning about it I can't cope with. Dh is always after more material stuff. Technology related. The dc are the same and I can't get him to support me. He said that he is entitled to xyz as he works full time. I acknowledge that but he must prioritise and save money for things. It's not unreasonable. Yet apparently it is.

I am currently cooking a joint of topside for tea tonight which will inevitably be refused as inedible, binned, moaned about and rice crispies eaten instead. Then I will be bereated for never providing a decent, balanced, nutritional meal and being a rubbish mum again.

How do I get the overwhelming sadness to lift and then keep it under control as I can't live life for the next however many years like this.

I keep on praying but I don't feel God. I don't want to win the lottery or ask God for money. I just want to pull together as a family to live within our means, which should be perfectly achievable.

So sorry for this outburst. I literally had an overwhelming moment and ran over to you guys. The counselling service is helping me with identifying things yet in my mind being a Christian is about being kind and helpful to others and I feel like I am being awful most of the time always on opposite sides of the fence to them.

If anyone can please pray for my silly intentions, I would be grateful.

I will read through the posts in a moment. I always keep you in my prayers and thoughts. Hoping you are all OK x

give up fucking cooking for the buggers...

disclaimer... I am still stressed and pissed off with ringing ears after the mega autistic meltdown in the foyer where he may have been exceptionally rude to our neighbour. who I hope is deaf enough not to have heard the exact words. my advice might not be the best. I would certainly think about only cooking and shopping for yourself for a bit though. like I said I am a stroppy bugger though. I am surprised that you have not withdrawn all extra services previously.

Praying for Barefootcook's Mum and for Joseph.

I'm packing for a week's break. I feel a bit burned out which I think is what you have don't. On top of bereavement you have the relentlessness of family life too. You say that you don't find time for yourself to read a book etc. That is why you are burning out - you don't have any time to recharge. It's just one thing after another. Giving yourself time to do something you like insulates you when you are under pressure. It gives you a mental break and you feel positive for a brief while doing your own thing. I'm off on holiday to plan out how I'm going to make changes to factor in little pockets of doing stuff I enjoy. Like swimming.

I would take issue with an assertion that someone is working fulltime so deserves to buy whatever. You are 'working' full time too through part-time work or caring for other family members, doing laundry, garden, shopping, cooking. The family income has to be budgeted for. Some money has to be held back for savings, essential repairs etc.

If kids want to buy things, they should think about prioritising. If they want to learn to drive, then a new iPhone or the nail budget would have to be diverted to pay for driving lessons.

I always thought it would be great to be middle aged to buy whatever I wanted but all my cash goes on food, house upkeep etc. I don't have money for spending on frivolous things because there is always something more important!

In terms of being kind as a Christian, I got a leaflet about healthy eating for children from our school. It pointed out that giving kids unhealthy food and treats was not being kind and sometimes the kinder thing was to be firm!

Could you give everyone an allowance including yourself after all bills have been paid and savings put by?

Can your teens cook for you? They will need to learn how to cook anyway.

I very much doubt your cooking is 'rank'.

don't why is dh supporting dc? You need to get him singing on the same hymn sheet as you in terms of spending. Does he have any idea how much things cost or is money this magic thing that comes out of a wall when you stick a plastic card in?

I'm horrified by events in Rouen. If I had been in church there I would never have thought the place would have been a target. God bless everyone.

Thank you all. Sounds like Mum is doing well- the operation went as well as can be expected and she was alert and up walking ( with a lot of help) the day after it was done. Yes - I can normally visit and help her but this week I am on the other side of the world in Edinburgh! Back next week to see how she is doing.

That's great news, Barefoot. Well done to her for being up and walking. Best for you after an op too.

For those of you who prayed for foster baby a few months ago I bumped into the family this morning. The baby is with the birth sibling and they can apply for adoption in August. They look like such a happy family, it made my day. Thank you for prayers.

Dont that is quite a worrying post. I know how you must still your dad so much but it sounds as if the bottom has been taken out of your life and nobody cares to help you. You are under far too much pressure and I have no idea how to help you. I think this is one of those cases when praying is not just enough, but I don't know what else to suggest. Your children are not little any more and could perfectly well cook for themselves. As BES says, stop cooking for them for a bit and see how they like it. Money is not growing on trees and If your husband wants whatever, he will have to get it himself. You keep your money under your own control
I'm glad the counselling is helping a bit, but if the bereavement issues are not being dealt with, it is of limited value. How is the sale of your mum's house going? Has she found somewhere else to live?
I am praying for you, of course, as well as trying to think of any kind of practical solution. At least enjoy the beef yourself and keep some back before anyone throws it in the bin. It will last you for days.

Dont, you that you will be in my prayers. My heart goes out to you, as it does anyone struggling with unsupportive partner and family.

It sounds like the counselling is an outlet for the immediate issues, which you are constantly fighting, and the fact that it is not covering your bereavement is symptomatic of the fact that you just don't have time for yourself in the rest of your life either. You are giving a lot in terms of managing your house and finances and parenting, with no support and actually, by the sounds of it, with outright sabotage. In fact, I am going to be blunt and say that if you are being put down and you are living in fear of outbursts, then you are being emotionally abused . Truly, you don't deserve this and you should not have to live like this.

Reading your post brought to mind a book which I found helpful, which is written from a Christian perspective. I don't know if you have heard of it - it is by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, and is called 'Boundaries - when to say yes and when to say no' (or similar). It talks about how you can develop good boundaries to protect God's investment (you); but it also talks about how far you should be prepared to take responsibility for other people's actions (not that far). I really pray that your counsellor will help you think about a way through or out of this situation, so that you are not facing the prospect of years of life like this, and that you find some real life support too.

I hope that I have not over-stepped in what I have said here.

Some further words. I am greatly saddened by recent violence in the world and I am praying for peace.

I am glad that the foster baby is doing well Larry and that your mother is healing BFC. I will pray for health and well-being. BES, I pray for a bit of calm for you, respite from the stress.

Otherwise, I continue to pray for guidance, for strength and for clarity as I move through the process of seeking a diagnosis for DS2, and the on-going legal process related to his safety. I pray for the ability to do this within my means. I thank God for the peace He has given me and my children in recent weeks.

dont praying your MH improves as does things at home. Xxx

Has there been any news of Joe and his latest treatment?

need to go to the post office. need to get some sleep before I go, before that got to walk to an appointment for dd which will mean a lot of hanging around for ds.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to read and reply.

Today is tough. I got a letter from the bank informing me my council tax direct debit was returned. First time ever in over thirty years of banking this happened. I transferred money over to the account and immediately paid it over the phone.

I then burst into tears. I rang phone banking and went through the statement and took stock. Eighty pounds has gone out in about five days on various eBay items. I lost my cool.

Each morning I will get a balance of my account and check out everything and micromanage it.

Dd told me that her driving instructor is pressing her to put in for yet another theory test at the cosy of approximately 23.00 I am already lending her the money for tomorrows lesson of 24.00 so I refused the theory test money. Her response was she will ring the instructor to tell him that I am too poor/haven't got enough money etc. Dh said that is too much person information for him to be given. I agree but cannot find the best way to word it. Perhaps until dd has a job I am setting her a budget. That way I don't feel like a nasty tight and poor woman.

Dd is currently online looking for jobs but it's not good as she has no experience being a school girl. All the waitress jobs etc are taken. I will not be giving in though.

I do feel lighter having taken the plunge to ring the bank daily although I admit to getting a huge hit of fear when the balance is read out to me. It's almost like a mild phobia.

I just feel so so miserable. I hate to admit it but I think dh's attitude is not helping me. You need two parents on the same page and he can sulk and whine over material stuff. This is why the dc are this way. My mum has also pointed this out. He doesn't manage the money and doesn't know what goes in or out of the account and doesn't want to know.

Tonight is chilli and rice. There is another option, it's called the bin and a long wait for breakfast. Last night tea was more of a success than I had hoped. It was 85 per cent eaten. I will just serve up tonight and if it kicks off, walk the dogs and get out of the way.

Normally I would try to diffuse the situation so dh doesn't have to hear the discord before work. Or he doesn't have to heat it after work. His rationale is he can't handle fuss before work as work is stressful enough and he can't handle it after work coming from one stressful environment to another. Me I am a robot who is immune to stress.......

If it's ok with you all, can I tell you about things to offload? If anyone is bored then please skip by and ignore it. I think that I have a copy of the book boundaries. The title immediately rang a bell. I think it gave suggestions to scenarios and about how to deal with them and show other boundaries. Thanks for suggesting this book. I will have a look on the bookcase. Thanks everyone. Bes I love your style please can I come round for some hardcore assertive building techniques. In exchange I will be your personal household helper during the course

Prayers for everyone. There is such a lot going on and lots to be thankful for on this thread. It's like going to a virtual church and feeling part of something bigger.

Oma and Passport. Just wanted to share that yesterday I was walking the dogs and praying and I tried to imagine the foot of the cross and God's wing protecting me but instead I imagined God as a lighthouse on a small rocky island and I was in the rough seas and I knew that the lighthouse would be there to help me but I needed to swim and put in effort. Today I am still at sea and it's rough but I am focused on the lighthouse and the safety of the island. I know that you have both suggested ways of thinking about things to me and I do take great notice and I try everything. So thank you x

Wow can't I 'talk'

Wow, dont, that is an excellent off load. I'm very glad to read every word of it.
I do online banking, have done for years, without difficulty , but of course I have only myself to take care of. I still write everything down I spend, have done ever since I became independent. My mother did it before me.
Your dd does need to fund her own driving lessons, if she has failed one theory test, she needs to find the money herself.
You are doing an impossibly difficult job without much support. It's all very well for your dh to say that he earns the money and so is allowed to do what he wants with it, but that is not really quite true, is it? He is part of a household and has responsibility for the running of it. £80 on ebay, what for?.
Can't deal with stress? Oh diddums. Those dogs are a blessing, I suppose if they allow you to get out of the house.
Keep 'talking' to us, better out than in.

Praying for all.
And prayers requested for A, who died very unexpectedly today, leaving a very disabled wife. Known him online for more than a decade. Prayers for support for his wife. For all who are in shock and sadness.

Amber, what shocking news, I am so very sorry. I will add A to my prayers, also his wife and those who are bereaved.

Dont, yes, offload as much as you like. I am praying that your family will be more supportive and understanding of financial matters and the efforts you make to keep them secure and loved.

Larry delighted to hear of foster baby and family.

Don't, the lighthouse is a lovely image. I think it's good to say your worries here.

Amber I will pray for A and his family.

Ds has always denied the existence of Aardvarks because the name is too funny and no animal could have such a long snout. I've never spotted one in a zoo but we are on holiday and we visited a museum with a nineteenth century collection of preserved animals and we saw an Aardvark. He was amazed!

Prayers for all.