Praying into 2016: a Christian prayer thread for the New Year

[Tuo]

Happy New Year friends.

This thread is a safe space where anyone - regular, occasional visitor, lurker, committed Christian or waverer - is welcome to come and leave their prayers in the knowledge that they will be prayed for. No problem is too big or small to share here, and if you just want to come and say 'hi', that's fine too.

Looking back through our previous thread, we pray in particular for:

ALittleFaith - for good treatment for her anxiety; for better understanding from her boss; for the lovely Faithlet.

amberlight - for her work supporting people with autism, and for her and her family.

Anjelica27 - for her DS, who has mental health problems, and for Anjelica and her family.

BlackEyedSusan - for all that she has to juggle as a single mum, for her DC, and for her mum. Praying for a peaceful and happy 2016.

Dontbesilly - for her dad, who has been diagnosed with cancer, and for all who love and care for him; also for the medical team looking after him; for her DH's work situation; and for Don't's DDog who has a heart condition.

DutchOma - with gratitude for all she does to support people on this thread and elsewhere. Thinking of her especially as the anniversary of the loss of her beloved Bob approaches, in particular after the recent death of her brother as well. May she know God's closeness to her in her grief.

EdithSimcox - for her to be able to find ways to support and nurture her faith; and for understanding from her DP.

FaithLoveandHope - for clarity about what she wants (and what God wants) for her future.

HardyLeodicean - especially for her FIL.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece - for her to find comfort and joy in exploring her faith; also for a good recovery from heart surgery for her best friend's dad.

JugglingFromHereToThere - for her search for rewarding work, for health, and for comfort and strength for her and the rest of her family following the tragic death of her nephew.

Kaykat - following her divorce from an abusive ex; for happiness for her and for her DS.

legohurtswhenyoustandonit - for her to feel more at home and accepted by her church.

LifeofBriony - for her relationship with her DH; also for her DS going back to university after Christmas.

LightnessofBeing - for her new church, and for energy to cope with her punishing work schedule.

MadHairDay - for her health, especially in the cold, wet winter months which are always so hard on her lungs.

Pandora97 - as she starts a new job in a new town for the new year following difficult and stressful times relating to a court case in recent months.

passportmess (formerly known as QuietIsland) - for a colleague whose husband is very ill, and for a university friend who has been diagnosed with cancer.

PatchworkTurtle - for healing in her relationship.

PositiveAttitude - for her DD1, who is depressed, to get the support she needs; for her DD3 and her DH to work through their relationship issues; for PA's DH to find work that makes him happier, for PA's DMum to continue to be happy in her (relatively) new care home and for PA's DDad to cope with her being there. Above all, we pray for PA herself, who is always there for others when they need her, to be happy and fulfilled in 2016.

QoF - for courage when she is feeling anxious.

ScouseQueen - for a full recovery from recent illness.

SESthebrave - for her DH, who has been working abroad, and for SES, juggling everything at home; for her DS to find ways of communicating, rather than lashing out, when he is frustrated; and for her to feel appreciated for the work she does at her church.

TheRealGracePoole - for her ministry to women in her area.

weegiemum - giving thanks for an improvement in her DD1's (borderline) anorexia; praying for weegiemum's own health and for the Master's course which she has undertaken.

And, as always, prayers for anyone I've forgotten (with apologies), for all who lurk but don't post, for 'old-timers' who haven't posted recently, and for newbies who may not have posted yet.

A prayer of St Teresa of Avila

Let nothing disturb you.
Let nothing frighten you.
All things pass away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Those who have God
Find they lack nothing;
God alone suffices. Amen

Maybe he has missed you and will feel a lot better when you are home.

I am back...

...to my old name!

delayed by boy not wanting to get dressed.

I just wanted to share with you all that sadly, dad passed Monday morning. It was very quick and peaceful. There was a definite feeling of love and peace in the room and I knew that God was with us. It was such a comforting feeling of, I suppose protection and the feeling of being cared for.

Going forward, I really don't know what I feel it's just a complete numbness that is punctuated with sudden overwhelming rushes of sadness. It's not really sunk in that I can't ever phone him up or pop over and see him. Although I can just speak to him anytime I choose now and I know that he hears me.

Thank you all for your prayers and words of support. I am as always so grateful to you. As soon as dad passed away I asked the chaplain to pray for his soul and for God to protect him and keep him safe until we can all be together again. I was given a lovely holding cross by the chaplain which I will treasure for the rest of my days. It's currently with dad at the moment. I spoke to the chaplain about this little online support thread, and how much of a comfort and a strength it has been and how grateful I am for having such wonderful support that I can rely on to always be there and reach out to.

Please can you pray for my dad, to have eternal peace with the Lord.

I got to spend time with dad. Sunday night until just after midnight on his last day, I sat by his bed, watching TV with the subtitles on and watching and listening to him breathing peacefully. Just the two of us, it was very special time to treasure.

I will catch up with everyone and have a proper read through your posts in the next few days. I just wanted to share the news.

Once again, thank you all x

Oh, my darling Dont, dear girl, so sad to hear your news but glad and grateful too that your dear Dad's suffering is now over. I so well know that feeling of 'not knowing how to feel', so many mixed feelings. You will go through so many emotions, don't feel that any of them are 'wrong', they are all totally legitimate, don't fight any of them.

Hold on to the Cross but know that the Cross is empty. We live in a Resurrection faith, Jesus has risen and because He lives your dad lives with HIm. I hope that the poem Hardy wrote will be of comfort to you too, even though that was written with a different relationship (husband and wife) in mind..

Try and get some rest, don't feel that you have to do everything for everybody, you will be totally exhausted as well as everything else.
My prayers are with you.

Dearest dont I am so very sorry for your loss. Your lovely dad was so much loved and knew that. I am so glad you got to have that special time later Sunday night where it was just you and him. I know now will be such a hard time but small things will help like the cross. Praying for you and praying your dad will rest in peace, rise in glory. I've followed your journey over the last year or so with him and seen the amazing strength you have and the love that carried you and still will.

Praying for you and all your family today with much love.

don't.

may you know the comfort of God the father as he puts his arms around you as you grieve. do not be afraid to cry or do what ever you need to do to grieve your dad.

so glad that you had time with him just being.

much love.

bes

oh goodness. doing battle with the mess in my room. it is not going well. (ok I have done quite a bit but it pales into insignificance with what needs to be done.)

Darling Don't - I'm so sorry for your loss, but so glad that you got to spend that peaceful time with your dad at the end. Don't put expectations on yourself right now: however you feel is the 'right' way to feel for you (and remember that people grieve differently and in their own time, so don't compare yourself to others). I am praying for strength for you to get through the next few days, when, as well as the rawness of grief, there will be lots of practical things to do, and for you to know love and support from God, from your family, and from your friends in this time. Praying too for your mum and sister, and for everyone who knew and loved your dad. May God bless you with peace and hope and love and understanding over the days and weeks ahead.

Oh, and remember that we're here for you!

May your dad rest in peace and rise in glory.

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your lovely words and thanks for your incredible support over the many long months that this has been a struggle to cope with. I always knew that on difficult days someone would stop by and help me out with such kindness and support and knowing that someone else was thinking of and praying for dad, really helped me.

I am trying to decide whether or not to speak at the funeral. I have chosen 'he is gone' (well I am quite certain) and don't know if I should read it out, or ask the priest to read it for me. I might quaver at the first few lines and then not manage to recover enough to continue. That would be a huge disservice to dad, in my opinion, and he deserves much better than that. I would need to be brave and composed and just go for it. I fear that I might concentrate too much on certain lines, have a wobble and then an almighty sob and not carry on. I will keep practising and see how it goes. Oh the pressure I put on myself lol.

Have any of you read at funerals and have you any advice on managing it? Should I just get it read out for me and possibly feel like I chickened out and perhaps feel a coward? Or, have you ever seen someone reading at a funeral service and they were overcome with emotions and how did it go, did they manage to gain composure and continue with the reading? Aaagh what shall I do?

Hi everyone.
Just seen this thread. I became a Christian at uni, an alarmingly long time ago now! Lovely to 'meet' you all.
Sorry I couldn't read all the posts but wanted to send my love to Dr - we moved churches over a year ago now due to other peoples' thoughts on children in worship meaning a few families left and we wanted our DC to go somewhere we were all comfortable and they had friends. It was tough, especially for my dh as he had always been to the same church but now we all feel settled. I'm not sure where you're coming from exactly but hope this encourages you.
Please could I have prayer for my little DS who is starting nursery? He's had a few settling in sessions but has been more upset for the last two and I'm really worried. Feel guilty and awful about going back to work but also feel like I have to. I go back to work next week. He's in nursery for the next two days, just going to see how long he is happy for but it would be such a relief if he can do a good amount of time and have a nap and food there.
Thank you xx

I can't stop now but just wanted to say my thoughts and prayers are with you don't

Welcome TweeBee. What do the nursery say? Is he happy once you have gone? It's hard when you have the feeling that you are doing it partly for your own benefit (as in: 'I want to go back to work') but when all is said and done, eventually he will have to go to school, full time and he might as well get used to being in nursery for part of the week. More than likely he will be fine after a few days.
Dont ':what a lot of pressure I put myself on lol.' Don't fret about it. I have seen all sorts at funerals and the ones where people break down are hard, both for them and the 'audience'. I didn't speak at Bob's funeral, but ds did, we had three readings and six people who spoke for a very short time, two or three minutes each. Obviously you want to do the best you can, see how you go with the practising. How are your mother and your sister coping? And your husband and the children? I hope you have a good night's sleep and things look brighter tomorrow morning

Thank you Dutchoma. Well, the first time I left him for about half an hour and all was well. Second time I was meant to leave for 2 hours but he was upset after 1 so I came back, played with him and then took him home when he was happier. Today I went in with him but he saw me sneak out. I waited outside the building but he hadn't stopped crying after 10 minutes so I just went back in with him. So, tomorrow will be the test I guess. Currently have his comforter in my bra to see if it smelling of me will help.
Thank you for understanding. I do feel very bad. I'm not really career minded but I do like my job and it's not the sort you can have a break from and then go back.

I've read through more now. Sorry to hear your news Don't. Lots of love.

He sounds quite little still, TweeBee. When I looked after little ones I found it more helpful if people assumed that their little one would be absolutely fine, said a cheery 'ByeBye, mummy will be back soon' and then left. Obviously a bit of howling would follow, but if mummy did not come back they usually preferred playing over howling, since that was clearly more fun. If, however the howling was rewarded by mummy coming back, well, a baby is not daft. You do need to have the confidence that the nursery staff are competent in distracting him, then go and come back at the time you have said you will come back, be that an hour, two hours or a full day. Best of luck.

Thanks Dutchoma. He's only 1 (sob!). Today he didn't want to go to key worker, howled when I left but was happy at times apparently. He was there 3 hours. I was up the wall as they said they would ring if he wouldn't settle and I would get him. I kept going to reply here but couldn't get the words out.
Back again tomorrow..... Need to try for a little longer if we can.
Do you know I prayed so hard for ages before starting to ttc for children and I'm so fortunate to have my two, but I do often wonder why God gave them to me? Don't feel like I do a good job. Don't have lots of patience.
Anyway, not to derail the thread. I'll have a read through and get praying for everyone.

Tweebee. One is old enough to pick up on his mother's mood. If you think that you are doing a 'terrible' thing leaving him at the nursery he will know. I've been thinking about this a bit more yesterday and what comes across is that you feel you are being a 'bad' mother by even thinking about leaving him at nursery. But of course you are not: you are giving him a wonderful opportunity to expand his world view, to interact with other people and to be loved by others.
Of course he will yell: his very own private slave is walking out the room. how dare she? Every self respecting baby will howl. And then he has got you just where he wants you: worrying about him every minute and ready to jump to his aid. Of course this is not a conscious thing, he is far too young for it. But the seeds of male manipulation are there and that is not good for him.

So maybe you can have a think: is he safe in the nursery? Is his keyworker competent? In that case can you just make yourself go away and take your mind off your little one? Say to the keyworker that you have had a think and you will not come back to get him before the three hours are up and steel yourself not to go back?

Dearest Dont, I am just back and so sad to read your news of the loss of your dear Dad. My heart goes out to you and your family. You have been so steadfast in your support and love for him during his illness. I am so glad you spoke with the Chaplain and that you got to spend some quiet, private time with your Dad towards the very end.

I did a reading at my Grandmother's funeral and, while I was nervous, the adrenaline does help you through the moment. I think we have all been at funerals where loved ones falter or can't continue with a reading - that's fine too. Everyone understands. And it's definitely not a disservice. You are human and grieving.

But I think you will be okay standing up there to read - it's just the thought of doing it. In reality you will be in the moment and you will get through it. Pray to him.

I've just read 'He is gone'. What a lovely poem, so heart felt and true.
It's relatively short and in two line chunks. There is plenty of time to take a breath between each two line part. And actually I wouldn't worry about crying or being tearful during the poem. It's about a grief journey and you are at beginning of that journey. So you are at the 'shedding tears because he is gone' stage and the poem looks to the future when you will be at a different grief stage. xxxx

Just to say dont, you don't have to do a reading. I misread your post and thought you had decided to read for certain. It's perfectly okay to get the Minister to read instead. I just wanted to be supportive - I don't want you to feel that you must read.

Whoever reads the poem, those in the congregation will hear a beautiful tribute to love. x

tweebee just to say I remember leaving ds in the University creche for the first time when he was very small. I could hear his cries outside as I left. I had a miserable coffee and then went back to collect him later. He got used to the creche and it gave me a break from minding him for all the other days and he made loads of friends.

Fast forward four years, on his first day of school (he didn't know anyone there as he had not gone to the adjoining nursery) he cried and wrapped his tiny arms around me (at which point I cried too). A few days later he wouldn't let me do up his coat - ' I do MYSELF!'. Honestly! All that running around after him and he has the temerity to want independence!

sometimes it is best for the children to stay at home with mum or dad. sometimes it is best that they go to nursery. depends on circumstances, personalities and the like. some people function best as a parent if they go out to work and do something different, others are fine with staying home with children all day, as we are all different and made in different ways. It is likely that it would be difficult and you would feel guilty about a whole different set of things if you were at home. you are likely to be told about how it is best for the children that you stay home. some people have strong feelings about this and do like to share them, whether you want them to or not. if you were at home. the reverse would be the case. you would be told how you are not setting a good example and should work. oh and have the state hinting that you are a burden on the economy.

I was definitely a it is best to stay home sort of person, could not understand not being at home... but I could see my friend needed to work. she could not have stayed home. would have driven her batty, and she was a much better parent for having gone back to work. this was how she was made. she really enjoyed it and got lots of fulfilment out of it, hence making her a better parent when she was a wohm. work would have driven me batty on the other hand, sapped all my energy and I would have been a worse parent. no-one would bat an eyelid at a male going back to work. oh and my friends child seemed to be similar and enjoy company. mine were more quiet and introverted so liked being at home and happy not to be doing loads.

I think the transition phase is the worst. You and he will get used to it, and possibly even enjoy it. and if you do not give it a go then you will not know whether you liek it or not. there is also a possibility that you can, you know change your mind later if circumstances allow.

it is tough if you want to be one and are forced by circumstances to be the other.

remember that the other option is not all sweetness and light. there are sacrifices on each side. either less money to do stuff or less time to be with the children. don't forget that a lot of being with the children is routine stuff anyway. houses still have to be cleaned and children make a helll of a mess when they are in them instead of in a nursery that someone else gets to tidy up. not flats though apparently, looking round-

also children get to do more crafty stuff, and different toys. and the nursery staff have to do those things you do not like. (reading out loud to them and craft inmy case) and you can do the bits you do like.

Dear dont so so sad to read this. But very grateful you had that time together towards the end. Your immense love for your darling dad has shone out from your post, he was obviously a wonderful person and father to have inspired that. May he rest in peace and rise in glory and may you take comfort from that love which will be with you always, from the years of memories and from the feeling of the presence of the Lord you experienced. All my love and continuing prayers.

Thank you all.
Today was much better. He cried a little but was happy a good bit of the time. I waited as long as I could and went to pick him up and he was fast asleep! The cheek!
Thanks for all of the kind words.
BlackeyedSusan - I think you have it. I feel bad because I don't really really have to go back to work. It provides a little safety net in case dh was to have problems and gives us a little extra for holidays etc. We don't have a very fancy house but I suppose we could live in a cheaper area. We do economise already so I can work PT. Also I'm a health professional so the nhs paid for my training and I couldn't just be off until he starts school and step back in. But we wouldn't starve if I gave up work.
This time last year when dd was in nursery I was able to rationalise it as being for the best overall. I think of it as a sort of investment for the future as this job is so close to home and I would probably struggle to pick up this job again if I waited until DCs at school. But when he's crying rational thoughts go out the window.
Anyway I don't want to bang on too much so will stop now. But thank you all. Have an unmumsnetty xx

Thank you all.
Today was much better. He cried a little but was happy a good bit of the time. I waited as long as I could and went to pick him up and he was fast asleep! The cheek!
Thanks for all of the kind words.
BlackeyedSusan - I think you have it. I feel bad because I don't really really have to go back to work. It provides a little safety net in case dh was to have problems and gives us a little extra for holidays etc. We don't have a very fancy house but I suppose we could live in a cheaper area. We do economise already so I can work PT. Also I'm a health professional so the nhs paid for my training and I couldn't just be off until he starts school and step back in. But we wouldn't starve if I gave up work.
This time last year when dd was in nursery I was able to rationalise it as being for the best overall. I think of it as a sort of investment for the future as this job is so close to home and I would probably struggle to pick up this job again if I waited until DCs at school. But when he's crying rational thoughts go out the window.
Anyway I don't want to bang on too much so will stop now. But thank you all. Have an unmumsnetty xx

Dont, so sorry to hear about your Dad. I am glad you were able to spend some peaceful time with him. Praying for you.

No-one will think badly of you if you struggle with a reading. I attended a funeral service for a man who was very active in our church. His adult children and older teenage grandchildren all did short readings or poems. His Granddaughter started off well but about half way through her poem started to struggle; her mother (the man's daughter) stood up, put her arm round her daughter, and read the next couple of lines. The granddaughter was then able to continue and read to the end. Perhaps you could have someone standing by for you, if you do decide to read.

I was asked to read at my much-loved great-aunt's funeral. I decided not to, and when it came to the actual service I knew this was the right decision as I felt very emotional at that point.

Thinking of you