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Original poster

Atheists- do you ever want to believe?

37 replies

TheSarcasticFringehead · 26/05/2014 15:30

I'm an atheist (although brought up Jewish). I always knew how important religion was to us as a family, of course, we were liberal but it was central and I loved every bit of it and even now I still love some aspects, the togetherness I felt, I think.

But it's only recently that I've kind of been awed by how important it is- my grandmother is Jewish and is currently in a Jewish care home. She has middle stage Alzheimer's and struggles to remember us sometimes. But Shabbat services, for example, it's ingrained in her, almost. I know she will forget them and she does currently struggle with them, but it is comforting (for both of us).

It has carried her through a lot and she's lost a lot in life but never her religion. It makes me wish I could believe and have that strong sense of faith and belonging. Her faith has led to horrible things, but I wish I had that ability to believe and think there's something higher/something better/someone who is in charge, so there's a reason for what happens and it isn't just luck and chance. I can't make myself believe and I am happy as an atheist, but I do feel a bit wistful for when I believed.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
GertrudeBell · 26/05/2014 16:21

I'm agnostic (I find disproving the existence of God as difficult as proving it).

I would love to have faith. I see people taking comfort from it in times of need; I see it drawing people together in a community (on a local level!). I can't participate in that and of course it's attractive. It's a crutch I will never be able to lean on in difficult times.

I simply don't believe and refuse to pretend for the sake of these benefits. I simply don't, no matter how I try.

I have experienced people taking offense at my absence of belief, and find myself thinking that they're lucky, even though I can't force myself to share their beliefs.

kentishgirl · 27/05/2014 10:41

Yes, there are times when I envy those who have a faith to help them through bad times, who can believe it's all part of a bigger plan, who can let go of their worries and problems to a 'higher being'.

I have even sat in a church a couple of times praying and hoping to get that feeling, to feel God or whatever, to gain that faith.

But nope, nada, nothing, there isn't really anything there. I can't pretend to myself in the way that religious people can.

Scarletohello · 27/05/2014 10:48

Me too. I quite envy people who have a faith. I think it's a source of strength and comfort to them. And I've tried, I really have. But I could no more believe in any religion as I could believe there are faries living at the bottom of my garden!

CoteDAzur · 27/05/2014 10:50

I would have liked to be able to turn off my critical brain and just believe.

It's not possible, though. I have tried.

ballsballsballs · 27/05/2014 11:22

I would love to have a faith. I can see how a strong faith can keep people going through tough times and bring them together with others.

But like Cote said I can't turn off the critical part of my brain.

EyelinerQueen · 27/05/2014 11:25

No.

I don't think anyone capable of intelligent and critical thought would actually prefer to be ignorant.

beatingwings · 27/05/2014 14:48

No I wouldn't want to believe. I prefer to make my own judgements in life.

Thurlow · 27/05/2014 14:52

I wouldn't see anyone who described themselves as an atheist but who wanted to believe as an atheist, more as an agnostic.

I can see how faith can in some moments of your life be a support to you. But that is just small moments. I wouldn't want to believe in something the critical part of my brain does not see as remotely possible or logical.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 27/05/2014 14:52

All the things you are talking about - belonging, community, ritual - are as easy to get in the secular world as they are through religion.

There is something better, higher and it's not all chance. But it's not a supernatural entity.

ballsballsballs · 27/05/2014 14:59

I wouldn't see anyone who described themselves as an atheist but who wanted to believe as an atheist, more as an agnostic.

Oh no, I'm definitely atheist. I don't believe in god(s) or other woo bollocks. What I envy, for want of a better word, is faith, a sense of certainty and protection.

Original poster
TheSarcasticFringehead · 27/05/2014 15:00

I suppose so, but it doesn't feel like it. I think one of the problems is that I'm an expat, so am already an outsider, and I don't know many other expats, so I don't have that sense of belonging for a lot of the time and I'm always playing catch up with some phrases or slang or just general every day things, and the services would be the same, language the same, history very similar, it's a lot easier to belong.

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MarianForrester · 27/05/2014 15:07

I am not sure I would like to believe, but would like to be able to have the ritual and familiarity of religion and it's custom as something to rely upon, especially when things are difficult.

And I love religious music, the awe inspiring immensity of a cathedral or mosque and the weight of history you can feel around them. Maybe even spirituality, whatever that really means.

Interesting though.

Original poster
TheSarcasticFringehead · 27/05/2014 15:08

I'm definitely an atheist. I don't want to believe exactly, but I do kind of wish I could have something similar to what believing can give you- a community, a sense of belonging, protection and I guess for there to be something 'more' (I don't exactly know what 'more' would be, though). But I wouldn't want to believe and have all of those and be worshipping someone who isn't real. I am happier as I am.

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beatingwings · 27/05/2014 15:13

I love religious music too, part of our culture whether we believe in god or not. Great fun belting out "Oh Come all ye Faithful" after a few mulled wines.

Original poster
TheSarcasticFringehead · 27/05/2014 15:14

Yes. I love the old religious buildings- the history. I think also religion is such a big part of human history, it connects and unites so many people all over the world who haven't even met (not that that's always a good thing). I love that some of the rituals are shared by millions of people and have been done for hundreds of years, even a few thousand. I don't love the actual believing part Grin so I suppose I'm trying to have my cake and eat it.

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SqueezedMiddle · 27/05/2014 15:15

There are times that I wish I had that faith in some divine plan that religious people seem to have.

But it is like wishing Father. Christmas was real, for me.

beatingwings · 27/05/2014 15:25

Santa is alive and well in my house!

Peniston · 27/05/2014 15:27

The only time I envy the religious is when I'm in mourning. The finality of death is an outrage and people of faith can comfort themselves with the notion that they'll meet their loved ones again.

beatingwings · 27/05/2014 15:37

I am very glad I am atheist when I am in mourning.

If god existed then why does he allow good people to suffer, babies to die? I have seen christians very angry with god, struggling to come to terms with accepting his "great plan" of having that 3 year old killed in an RTA.

I don't think atheists have this burden of anger when someone dies, we can accept that some things just happen.

Christians have to accept that there are millions of children dying of starvation and that god has a good reason for it.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 27/05/2014 15:40

No. Well not since I was about 12 anyway (tried very hard - went to church, went to Sunday School but just couldn't see what everyone else was seeing)

I've been part of communities that have nothing to do with the church - it just needs some common goal or interest. I do agree that they make very pretty buildings and art though. I have a wall of religious iconography as it's part of the DCs cultural heritige and I find it endlessly fascinating but I'm definitely content with just observing from the outside.

Original poster
TheSarcasticFringehead · 27/05/2014 15:54

I also find it easier as an atheist. I find it a lot easier to see it as horrible and wrong and something we can't stop, rather than knowing that it is horrible and wrong and yet God can stop it and chooses not to. That people suffer from dementia or children die of cancer and it isn't horrible luck, it's something which could be stopped. I know if I could stop people suffering, I would. It's a lot easier to think that I can't and that no one really can, than to think that God/gods COULD and yet don't.

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JazzAnnNonMouse · 27/05/2014 16:34

I'm also agnostic (if you can't prove god does exist you can't prove
He doesn't)
I would like to believe but then Id like fairies etc to exist too Grin

HermioneWeasley · 27/05/2014 16:44

No. Nor do I wish I believed in Father Christmas or the tooth fairy.

beatingwings · 27/05/2014 16:46

jazz- but the burden of proof is on the claimant surely. Just because you can't prove that I don't keep a pixie in my pocket doesn't mean that it is probable. It's up to me to show you my pixie evidence.

Which christians can't do.

BackOnlyBriefly · 27/05/2014 23:14

Wanting to believe in something that isn't true doesn't quite make sense to me, but I suppose I could understand someone wanting it to be true so they could believe in it.

Not that I'd wish for that. I'm not neutral on that point. I am relieved that it's fictional.