Rape counselling should be available for free, can anyone recommend how to get this? I would say that Rape Crisis will know.
Please do not seek counselling at your current church, they do not seem to understand what has happened at all.
I said I would reply about your spiritual questions and so I will but I must say that God cares about our bodies and physical lives so as well as thinking about the big spiritual picture please also think about the big physical picture, get yourself checked by a doctor maybe to ensure all is OK physically, please, and also speak to a counsellor or rape crisis to talk about the emotional damage. It will not be easily swept away by just talking to someone but with good help you can come to see what has happened and recover, and not blame yourself, which I think is all a part of healing emotionally. (I read a little on the other thread linked to where you appeared to blame yourself for putting yourself in the position of being with this man.) PLEASE do not blame yourself. We can all put ourselves into positions where bad things could happen, it is not our fault. I think it is important to value yourself and not blame yourself. It is your right to say no. And you said it.
You asked ?Is there a difference between anger and hatred.? Personally, I think there is, God displays a righteous anger in the Bible, for example when Jesus turns over the tables of the money changes in the temple, they were cheating people and that was wrong. (As you mentioned.) But I don?t think we are called to hate people, even if they have done us wrong. HOWEVER, sometimes people do such cruel things that we do feel hate and so for the time being I think you just need to work through all the practical things. Many people will disagree with this, and you are totally at liberty to form whatever opinion you like of anger or hatred but for the time being I would just try and not allow your anger and hatred to cause you to do any physical harm to this man. Follow the law. It must be very tempting to want to hurt him but I do not think it will help you. You must think of yourself and not allow this anger or hatred to overcome you. In time I hope you will be able to forgive, not for him, but for you, but for the moment just work through all these emotions and make yourself your top priority, and not getting even with him.
In your post here you said ?I thought the church is supposed to give some sort of discipline of some sort.?
If your church knows this man raped you then I think they should have helped you and reported this man themselves.
In your post here you said ?I love God and I believe in him so much but I don't understand why he is leaving me to deal with the embarrassment and shame all alone and he is still there probably luring another girl with his christianity act. If anger is allowed since even God got angry then can I hate him as it makes me ffel good to live my life hating him ?? How do I deal with this.?
It is difficult that we often find ourselves dealing with things we find hard to cope with. I have no answers for you, I hope you will get support and encouragement from some Christians who can respect you and look out for you.
I have not commented on all the things on the other thread and I really hope someone in real life can help you, please do tell a trusted friend or person at the Rape Crisis the full story. With regards to the baby you are carrying only you know what you will want to do but whatever you decide please surround yourself with people who will love and affirm you, you do not deserve this shit, it is not your fault. You are not to blame.