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Philosophy/religion

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hideous hymns, vocal vicars and theatrical thuribles. Religious Chat Thread Number 6!

999 replies

nickelbabe · 17/02/2013 19:24

Welcome to the Religion Chat thread.
We're mostly Christians, but all are welcome.
a lovely soace to talk about church life, spiritual journeys and stuff in general.
It's not about debate, it's about chat.
Come oldies and newbies!

this is the previous thread

OP posts:
GingerCurl · 30/07/2013 14:22

Grin Pigs are actually very intelligent... WinkGrin

Jaynebxl · 31/07/2013 07:51

Blue we stayed in the same village and yes Niminy we should definitely have a local meet!
Mad I didn't go to NW although lots of my friends have. We went to the folk festival instead in between unpacking and are off on hol tomo.

Dutch I would love to come but need to see how things are when we get back. We thought we would have moved ages ago and not just a week before a holiday involving a lot of driving!

Jaynebxl · 31/07/2013 08:00

O dear Unique, is there anyone you feel you can raise it with?

And I agree with pigs being smart... we kept some last year with a couple of friends and they were more intelligent than the chickens we have been keeping since the departure of the pigs!

Dutchoma · 31/07/2013 08:50

Maybe there is a moral in calling U&A to 'pigstupid' behaviour?

madhairday · 31/07/2013 14:31

Oh dear nickel, is it possibly because of summer holidays? Often things get left/suspended during the summer, whether there are school age children around or not. Don't know what to suggest - I'd just ask one of the nicest ones if the arrangement was carrying on, just so you could plan etc? Hope it all sorts out.

Starting to pack for NW today :)

Hope Blue is having a lovely time in Taize, and hope you enjoy your meetup, so gutted I can't make it :(

UniqueAndAmazing · 31/07/2013 16:12

no, our church doesn't have a creche or sunday school or anything like that, and the women involved, only one has school age children.

UniqueAndAmazing · 31/07/2013 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UniqueAndAmazing · 31/07/2013 17:00

try again...
(MNHQ will delete that i hope...) Blush

I might just say "a few weeks ago, NV was talking about DD and the service, and was worried about the looking after her always fell to the same people. Do you think we should have a conflab about it? I don't know what's best, because whatever happens, someone is put out."

UniqueAndAmazing · 01/08/2013 13:06

phew Grin

madhairday · 12/08/2013 12:41

Hello....anyone around?

Hope all are OK....

thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts · 12/08/2013 13:48

Yey! We went away on holiday and it has been a mad week trying to catch up with work and all the washing. I am now feeling very, very virtuous that I have completed my tax return and that is a very big tick off my 'to do' list.

You OK?

Bluetinkerbell · 12/08/2013 17:02

I'm here! Just busy unpacking still etc...

Anyone fancy a quick read of my scribblings of 'Why I am an Anglican' and give me some feedback before I send it off to the DDO?

madhairday · 12/08/2013 17:23

I will happily read it Blue, mail it over to me :)

Hello Green! Well done on the tax return!

I am having a slobby week after a week at New Wine which was fantastic but v hard physically. And the seminar went really well....at least I think it did!!

Bluetinkerbell · 12/08/2013 17:58

Emailed you mhd

thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts · 12/08/2013 18:14

Was going to offer but MHD got there first!

Bluetinkerbell · 12/08/2013 18:16

ooh I wouldn't mind another critical eye green

thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts · 12/08/2013 19:56

I've sent you my email address on PM.

Dutchoma · 12/08/2013 21:10

Don't forget to come on Saturday Blue

Bluetinkerbell · 12/08/2013 21:39

oh I definitely won't forget DO I think DH is very much looking forward to some time by himself! Wink

nickelbabe · 13/08/2013 15:02

I've got loads to write about, but haven't had chance! (translate that as, thread dropped off TIO and I didn't remember to find it)

I mentioned the issue again to NV at the beginning of the service, and he sympathized but said that basically it's my issue.
Then I saw one CW (not the one who first came up with the scheme) and asked her about it - managed not to make it sound like "oy! why aren't you looking after my child!" and thought I did it quite well. she reiterated that they were getting bogged down with it, and had realised that it really wasn't feasible, much as they really wanted to (with all their other tasks and jobs).
I said, they need more volunteers, but that I assumed that I should take DD for the time being and just be more organised about busy bags etc. And that if she got too much I could take her into the tower during the sermon, etc.
NV was mostly concerned that DD was more distracting and making people not listen to the sermon, so we've been trying to make her less obvious (not easy when she's running up into the pulpit! (well, at least someone is using it.....)
Anyway, sums up, we're back to how we were before the arrangement started and we'll just have to wait for more congregation!

OP posts:
nickelbabe · 13/08/2013 15:06

the next piece of information is a bit ShockShock[speechless]ShockShock
we had a baptism this week during the service.
After the baptism had been done, the vicar announced the peace, explained what would happen during communion and then announced the next hymn.
the entire baptism party left the church.
Shock
Most of the congregation (from what they said during coffee) were shocked, and found it extremely rude and confusing that they had left, but the Verger said that he saw one man forcing them to leave. it was concluded that it was probably the patriarch, that they had done the baptism, and were getting a bit overwhelmed with the service because not many of them could read very well. (I love it when we have these group discussions)
NV said that he's seen it before, and that he was concerned a bit, but used to it, but he also prayed at the end that the child and the family would get to come to christ later in their own time.
I said "well, he's been introduced to God, so that's fine for now :) "

OP posts:
madhairday · 13/08/2013 17:48

Shock nickel, that is so rude! Reminds me of the baptism party we had in who talked loudly all the way through, laughed through the songs etc etc - and kept nipping out for fags (was only an hour service ffs!!) Just rude.

Think it's a shame people are saying your DD is disturbing others, surely that is what church is about, the whole church family together. I'm a firm believer that toddlers should be embraced and welcomed, in all their pulpit-climbingness (it's lovely when they do that) We have people at our church who Hmm at toddlers too (and naughty little boys Blush ) but I hate that. Why can't they put up with a bit of noise, they will never welcome new folk if the message is that little ones should be hidden away in the tower!! Anyway, do hope it gets sorted for you, for the best. Good to see you!

Blue, have received your thing, will have a read later on today. :)

cloutiedumpling · 13/08/2013 18:37

Nickel - I feel for you and your DD. Doesn't the vicar realise that whether you find them disruptive or not children are the future? If you don't welcome kids you end up with an aging (and slowly dying) congregation. Daft man. I would be tempted to point this out to him. Maybe he's worried that the congregation will find DD more engaging than his sermon. Just wait until his baby is older. I bet he changes his tune a bit then. Any chance that when his baby is a little older that you and NVW could take it in turns to look after the littlies?

Jaynebxl · 14/08/2013 08:16

I'm really struggling to get my head around the idea of a church that has no provision for children. Is your DD the only child there? If so what happens when she gets a bit older and needs Sunday school? Is the church quite new or something, or just mostly older people?

When we joined our church there were loads of older kids and teens but none under 5. We had a 10 month old and were about to start trying for number 2. We loved the church and joined with the understanding that we would all pray for more younger families to join and that as time went on if this didn't happen we would have to move on. Almost 7 years later we are still there and various other families have joined although not all have stayed long term. The church has shown a huge commitment to being welcoming to families of younger kids. I just don't get NV not seeing it as a priority and in your shoes I'd be looking for a church that welcomes families.

Maybe the baptism family felt this lack of openness to small children and that's why they left early? Still a bit odd though!

nickelbabe · 14/08/2013 10:55

Jayne - it's really easy when you think about it - DD is currently the only child there every week.
we also have the Junior Chorister, who will be joined by his sister in September.
We used to have a large Junior choir and a number of children, where they all went off into Sunday School.
When the last incumbent came, lots of people left. lots
We didn't get new people in to replace them (and there was a fair amount of persuading families to go to St Mary's instead because it was last incumbent's favoured church, and he basically wanted to ruin St Michael's), so all the families go to St Mary's, and we are left with all the old people - we have noone to take a creche or Sunday School, because the one who did it here wanted to "retire" from youth work, and she now doesn't come every week anyway.

we went through a 4 year interregnum, and it has pushed the parish into survival mode.
We got our NV in February, and he is slowly turning us round.
But it does take time - a NV can't just come in and start changing things straight away without knowing what the dynamic of the parish is, and what the strengths of the people are. (and where help is needed)
unlike the previous knobhead, NV is making sure that he doesn't put any backs up, taking his time and getting to know us all. Finding out what works, what doesn't work (what's been tried in the past and what's never been tried)

" I just don't get NV not seeing it as a priority and in your shoes I'd be looking for a church that welcomes families."
that is a totally inaccurate and unfair comment.

I know you haven't been with this thread since the beginning, but I have talked at length about our churches and how the last vicar mucked them up good and proper. The NV doesn't want to come in on a bad foot - he's here to help the churches grow.
During the wilderness years, we went down to 45 regulars here and about 40 at St Mary's.
It's not something that can be built up quickly. It has to be worked out slowly.
And I'm not just going to leave my church! that DH has been in since he was 7 (so we're talking 45 years!) and my choir (so letting everybody down in one fell swoop) just because "it doesn't welcome families"
It does welcome families, it's just that this town and these people don't do church.
If you only have one or two children in a church service, anyone who comes in will see that. You can't manufacture children or sunday schools or creches in the hope that children will come.
If we have baptism parties, (which we do quite a lot, because people like to have the traditional baptism in the traditional font with the pretty building for photos), we have a Tower Room, which the families are told about - it has activities and toys for the children, at least 2 members of the congregation (the same ones who also have lots of other jobs to do) go into the tower and help out.

In a congregation of 45, where 10 of those are the choir (and only 1 Junior Chorister), 3 servers, 2 churchwardens, 30 really old people, there's not really a lot you can do.

We have services for local schools in december, because that' the only time they'll take us up on the offer, and we tell them about the choir, and all the opportunities for their singing career, and we tell them about St Mary's family services, but noone takes them up

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