Cloutie I think we need to take the broader picture on submission. The Bible says submit yourself one to another:
Ephesians 5:21: Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
And it also says in Ephesians 5:22-30
"22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church ? 30 for we are members of his body."
I think you will find this interesting:
aprofoundmysterydotcom.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/exploring-the-meaning-of-head-in-ephesians-523/
The key bit is
"Christ makes the church grow, feeds it and cares for it, gave himself up for it. He is the Capstone(Matt. 21:42), He holds the church together, builds it up, edifies it. He is also the one by whom ?all things were created?, and this is the point where the metaphor cannot be completely perfect, since men didn?t create anything. In the context of Ephesians, where the subject is marriage, Christ as Head in terms of authority or supremacy is never mentioned. It is only in the context of Christ giving himself up for and nourishing the church that the husband is the head, as Christ.
Therefore, the husband is to love his wife by helping her grow, nourishing and edifying her while giving himself up for her, loving her as his own body."
Remembering that in Bible times when were the bread winners. I am not for a moment suggesting this should be the way it is now but that is how it was, women were very much dependant on the men in their lives. So the Bible clearly says men need to love and care for their wives. In modern times women also earn money and I feel that is totally right and so it is not about who earns the money but how we care for each other. IMHO
And finally it says ....
"The Bible simply never tells husbands to lead or have authority over their wives. The husband as head of the wife is a metaphor, not a model for hierarchy in marriage. This is all very mysterious(Eph. 5:32), and cannot be understood completely in human terms.
It?s demeaning to the mysteriousness of the one flesh union between husband and wife to define it in terms of a hierarchy. Wade Burleson points out, ?Jesus explicitly forbids any one individual assuming authority over other adults in the Christian community(Matthew 20:20-28).? I agree. No adult should ever have to permanently surrender their will to another person. This is idolatry, as we should be surrendered to Christ and Christ alone. He is the way, and we do not have to go through another person to get to him.
The husband is the head of his wife, as in the one who can lift her up, edify her, and help her grow. He is not her authority. Christ is her authority."