So, Ds's blood counts are good enough for him to go ahead and start this last block of chemo on Monday. Am really scared. He has been 'well' and whizzing round for a couple of weeks, playing skylanders, on the internet, running around the supermarket; we have seen friends and had some lovely late sociable nights. Trying to cram lots in before the chemo starts.
You never know, he might cope with it better than I think or pray, but probably not. Plus the weather is crap isn't it and the nights are dark now and it's getting cold.
This chemo will stop and start probably, as it will make him poorly so they stop it, to give him time to recover a bit before carrying on. He is my darling lovely boy and I am so sad and gutted for him as, although he knows 'the bad bit' is due to start, he doesn't really get time-scales or remember what it's going to be like.
It's his 5th birthday on Nov 24th but am not going to plan anything. And Christmas might be a bit of a write off. I really don't care, I just want him and me to get through this ok.
I have cried so much but hopefully the anticipation is worse than the actual treatment. When we start we will be back in the Leukaemia 'bubble' as they call it.
Once this block is finished we then begin two years of 'Maintenance'. Which will mean a horrible IV chemo through his wiggly and a week of steroids, every four weeks. He will be over 7 when it finishes. And then there is the wait to see if there is Relapse. First year after the end of treatment will be agonising as relapse in that first year is Not Good. Five years after end of treatment is a milestone and ten years after the end of treatment is celebration time.
He'll be nearly 18 by then. That's a long time to wait. A lot of fags and anxiety!!
Thanks for checking in on us now and again.