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Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Bible reading at a wedding..I'm atheist

53 replies

Ismeyes · 08/04/2012 21:59

What should I do? I've been asked to read at a wedding, which I am very happy to do. Except I have been given a passage from the Bible and I am atheist. I feel pressured to do it, but very uncomfortable. WWYD?

OP posts:
CareerAdviseRequested · 08/04/2012 22:06

Can you offer to read something else, a lovely poem, perhaps?

LoopyLoeufdePaques · 08/04/2012 22:09

Just read it. They will have to have a bible reading for a church wedding, and probably chose you as you are open-minded (or something?!)

I'm an atheist too but ^always/6 get asked to read at weddings. I figure reading won't turn me.

Ismeyes · 08/04/2012 22:10

I would be incredibly happy with doing that, or even a passage from the Bible which doesn't come across as quite as like I am religious myself. But they have already printed the order of service and I am left feeling like a hypocrite or a bitch.

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LydiaWickham · 08/04/2012 22:10

Well, you're being asked to read something, not give your opinion on it, or lead a prayer. It's clearly a passage from the bible, not your thoughts.

However, if you feel uncomfortable about it, say you don't want to read because you're athiest, don't ask them to change the reading, i'm sure they'll have someone else to read, make it clear you are still very happy for them and don't want to cause a fuss.

ravenAK · 08/04/2012 22:10

Depends if it's the King James bible, which is gorgeous prose, or the NEB, which, erm, isn't Wink.

I'd probably have a look at the passage & then decide.

But if you're uncomfortable with the whole thing, then yes offer to read something else (but not then take offence if they just tell you not to bother in that case...).

ToothbrushThief · 08/04/2012 22:12

Read it :) As loopy says it won't turn you. I have read a variety of texts/poems and didn't 'align' with some of them, but it wasn't about me was it?

LydiaWickham · 08/04/2012 22:12

What's the passage that you feel like it makes you sound like you're religious yourself?

Bear in mind you can start by saying "the reading is taken from X Book, Chapter Y starting at the Z verse." make it clear you're just reading it, not your thoughts.

ThePathanKhansWitch · 08/04/2012 22:14

Ask can you read something from The Song of Solomon perhaps?

Hassled · 08/04/2012 22:14

I'm an atheist - but so much of the bible has such beautiful language, and beautiful sentiments. Can you see it in those terms, and deal with your discomfort that way?

If not, your only option is to politely bow out and hope they have an understudy.

Ismeyes · 08/04/2012 22:14

I have a copy of the reading, given to me after the order of service has been printed. I wouldn't normally brush over it, I can see the beauty and literature in certain parts of the Bible, which certainly do not 'turn me', but this particular passage means me reading something which immediately cites me as a non-believer as being worth less in my marriage than them. I don't want to go into details in case it identifies me.

OP posts:
Hassled · 08/04/2012 22:15

X post. In that case, I think you need to politely and apologetically decline.

Ismeyes · 08/04/2012 22:16

And yes, it makes me sound religious. I'm as far as you can get.

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LoopyLoeufdePaques · 08/04/2012 22:17

Oh. That is different, and it is really rude of them to print first ask later. Tricky.

LydiaWickham · 08/04/2012 22:18

Decline, don't ask to read something else, if it'll out you then it's an unusual passage, if they haven't just picked a 'standard' reading, it must mean something to them. Better you let someone else read it if you really can't.

CareerAdviseRequested · 08/04/2012 22:18

Ooh, that's actually rather insulting.

Swap it for something from the Song of Songs. Grin

NicolasGirl · 08/04/2012 22:19

I'm an atheist and wouldn't do a reading from the bible if asked. It just would feel wrong for me.

Do they know you are an athiest?

Ismeyes · 08/04/2012 22:20

I don't want this to make me sound like I've read a copy of Richard Dawkins and aligned to the Spaghetti Monster. My world view is thought out and supported by my philosophy and theology study. I do not hate the Bible or religion at all, and support everyone's right to choose their faith. I'm really upset by this, because I feel that I have been put in an impossible position.

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LydiaWickham · 08/04/2012 22:20

It won't make you sound religious for reading it you know, no one will really think you picked the passage, they'll think the bride and groom did, it will make them sound religious - the only way it would sound like you were religious is if you don't make it clear it is a reading from the Bible (by saying which book, chapter and verse at the start) rather than just launching into it.

Ismeyes · 08/04/2012 22:21

Yes, they know I am an atheist.

OP posts:
LydiaWickham · 08/04/2012 22:21

Did they ask you to do a reading but not tell you the passage until printing the orders of service, or did they not even ask you if you'd read?

tribpot · 08/04/2012 22:22

Hmm, I was going to echo the sentiment of seeing the Bible as something full of beautiful, and important, words - but I think in this case your only option is to decline politely and say as a non-believer you don't think it would be appropriate for you to read it for them.

Ismeyes · 08/04/2012 22:24

They asked me to do a reading. I thought it was just something said as they had got excited about plans, and I never heard anything else so I didn't bring it up. Then I got the orders of service today. Wedding v.soon.

OP posts:
NicolasGirl · 08/04/2012 22:24

I am surprised they have put you in this position to be honest.

I don't envy you your decision.

LydiaWickham · 08/04/2012 22:26

Posted too soon - If they didn't ask you if you've read then you have every right to say 'no thank you', but if they did ask if you'd read (but didn't say which reading it would be) and you're just upset at the actual passage, you are in a harder position as it's not really on to pick and chose which bits of the bible you think should be read at someone else's wedding.

Hassled · 08/04/2012 22:27

Are they the sort of people who would understand? As in, it's a passage they really like, they didn't give the whole atheist issue much thought, when you explain they'll say "oh yes, sorry, I quite understand"?