Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Philosophy/religion

Join our Philosophy forum to discuss religion and spirituality.

Original poster

Can you make yourself believe in god?

48 replies

Whirliwig72 · 08/04/2012 14:16

Although I attended faith schools as a child and was for a while quite a comitted Christian, my faith waned on adolescence to the point that I struggle to believe any more. Id love to have blind faith and certainty that I was following a good path but how do I re-acquire it? I've been to a few C of E services over the years but spent most of my time managing my children and did not get a lot out of them to be honest. I'm thinking that reading the bible might be a good place to start but I think I'm going to need more than that to kick start my faith :(. Any ideas - I'm a bit lost tbh. :(

OP posts:
TheGreatestmadhairDayinHistory · 08/04/2012 14:23

Hi whirliwig.

Reading the bible is a good start, but I always think it's good to discuss this type of thing with other people. Going on an Alpha course or similar might be a good step for you, to be able to talk with others on a similar journey - if you google alpha and your area you may find some local churches which run it, or a similar course such as Christianity Explored or Emmaus, there's plenty out there.

I'm not sure though that any of us ever have 'blind faith' - there is sometimes a wonderful certainty that comes with faith and sometimes it's a more rocky doubtful road. I don't think of it as blind faith, prefer to think of it in terms of a reasoned response with an act of faith which leads to something quite incredible.

If you do want to start by reading the bible, don't start at Genesis - go straight into Mark, it's a good place to start, and maybe pray a simple prayer asking God to speak to you through it? Feel free to post here as well any questions or thoughts about it all.

All the best. Hope you are able to find something which gives you that hope once again [busmile]

HappyCamel · 08/04/2012 14:31

The alpha courses are starting again in a lot of places. You could try a more modern church set up eg Vineyard or a modern congregation CofE. Try reading a Bible with an application guide. The more modern English translations are easier, I have this www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Application-Study-Bible-Niv/dp/0854769463

I think belief is a decision initially and then the relationship grows. Like deciding how the love for your kids grows as you get to know them and see how they affect your life. Try listening to this Matt Redman

exoticfruits · 08/04/2012 14:33

I would start with an Alpha course.

HappyCamel · 08/04/2012 14:34

Sorry, stray "deciding" in there

Original poster
Whirliwig72 · 08/04/2012 14:34

Thank you so much MadHair. I really needed to hear that. Sometimes I feel like I'm just living my life listlessly not giving anything my full attention. Is it wrong to want to have faith to give your life structure and meaning? Blush I feel so selfish.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whirliwig72 · 08/04/2012 14:36

Thank you for all the great ideas Wink

OP posts:
MyHeartBelongsToKermit · 08/04/2012 14:41

You need to pray and ask God into your life. Spend time with him, read the bible and pray. Through your worship, you will begin to see the changes he makes in your life and your faith will grow. And I say this as a former atheist who came to Christ just over a year ago Grin I can also recommend the Alpha course.

Original poster
Whirliwig72 · 08/04/2012 14:48

When I pray I don't feel it. I don't feel like anyone's listening. I'm scared that faith might not work for me that I'm too cynical to let God in. I know it sounds bad but I really envy those that have a great relationship with him/her/them Sad

OP posts:
headinhands · 08/04/2012 14:55

Hi Whirli. I would just like to add that while its a good idea to re-explore the faith you once had, that there are many other ways to give your life the structure and meaning that you feel lacking. Many people live fulfilling and worthwhile lives with no religious/spiritual beliefs whatsoever.

For me personally the things that give life colour and depth are pretty much what works for all of us, relationships, work, learning etc and so the only difference between that and what my life was like before I lost my faith is that I don't believe in the existence of a supernatural realm anymore. And I don't think I could choose to believe in god now because it would mean unthinking things I've spent a long time reasoning through.

Sorry for the ramble and hope you're having a restful Easter. with lots of chocolate

HappyCamel · 08/04/2012 15:11

Whirli, prayer is the communication part of the relationship. you wouldn't speak to a stranger on the bus the way you would speak to your mum. It takes time to grow the relationship and the depth of prayer. You may find music helps, like taize chants.

The amazing thing about God is that we're never too broken for him to fix. He can heal you of your cynicism, just ask him. That's the great thing about Chrisitanity, knowing you are wholly and unconditionally loved. God doesn't need you to be the most amazing, faithful, humble person, he just needs you to take one step in faith, he'll do the rest of it for you.

MyHeartBelongsToKermit · 08/04/2012 15:17

I started out with a type of faith that took me to church weekly and joining in with groups/church life etc. but I really began to FEEL it one day during the worship. I used to hate the worship part of the church service, and didn't really understand the purpose of it, even though I was calling myself a Christian, then one day I just decided to relax through it and go with the flow and I felt the holy spirit fill me with an overwhelming sense of love, peace and joy. It was a definite moment, that sealed my faith and started me on a journey with God - and changed my life! Try and get in touch with the holy spirit, maybe visit a church you know - I will pray for you too! Ask him to touch you. The bible says that you do need a revelation to 'lift the veil' that blinds you to the gospel (2cor 4:3,4) when you are filled with the spirit - you will see, I promise x

Original poster
Whirliwig72 · 08/04/2012 15:25

Thanks so much everyone. At this point I am just filled with questions and to be honest a bit of doubt in myself. My two boys are up after their naps now but I'm definitely going to look at the resources you've posted and have a good think. This topic area on MN certainly has a lot of interesting discussions to think about.Smile

OP posts:
MyHeartBelongsToKermit · 08/04/2012 15:26

God bless Whirli. Feel free to pm me if you would like to discuss anything Smile

pigsinmud · 08/04/2012 15:35

Why do you want to have faith? I used to go to church until I was about 15. Then I suddenly thought - I don't believe this. I have spiritual feelings, but I can't pigeon hole them into Christianity.

Dh is the same as me. We did the Alpha course a few years ago - out of interest really. It just confirmed our feelings actually - that Christianity is not for us. Plus I couldn't stand that bloke on the videos - Nicky Gumbell?

CoteDAzur · 08/04/2012 15:36

"Can you make yourself believe in god?"

Do you mean, like, auto-hypnosis?

Surely, either something makes sense to you or it doesn't.

teahouse · 08/04/2012 15:40

If you just want to follow a good path then pretty much any religion will do that for you. But if you want to stay Christian then there are lots of options.
Alpha courses have a particular bias so I would be quite wary of them personally; they are pretty opposed to homosexuality yet there is some excellent queer theology (Radical Orthodoxy for instance).
I would try a good funky Christian web/discussion site like Ship of Fools. You can chat to and actually meet other Christians there all with a variety of views on their faith and practice. The discussion boards there are really useful too.

Original poster
Whirliwig72 · 08/04/2012 15:48

Ok just sneaking back on again for a moment to say that the same thought keeps going through my head today - in essence: that a higher being must exist to make sense of all the love in the world. it's a thought that is making me feel very happy. A definite starting point I would say Smile x

OP posts:
MyHeartBelongsToKermit · 08/04/2012 16:05

I agree with what you have said - especially the love part. People who don't believe in God are always looking for answers to things, so they have proof in what they believe in. But nobody can prove the essence of what God is about - love. We can't explain what love is aside from the hormones, and nor do we need to if we have faith that God loves us. It's a great feeling Grin

tuffie · 08/04/2012 17:02

Whirliwig72. I can assure you that there are many times when I pray and I dont feel it. Sometimes God seems to have gone on holiday without telling me ! But faith is just that, faith that He is there. You can t MAKE yourself believe but the feeling that you now have of wanting to believe, and then wanting to do something about it is certainly a good start. Good luck and a very Happy Easter !

GrimmaTheNome · 08/04/2012 17:22

Personally I'd say the answer 'can you make yourself believe in God' is no - I was a Christian; when I started losing faith I prayed earnestly to keep it but - nothing. Nobody there any more.

I don't want to dissuade you from trying if you feel it would help you - all I want to say is that if it doesn't happen for you, it is entirely possible to have a totally rich and fulfulling life without God. I find love in the world simply from loving people. Smile

Hope you find peace and happiness by whatever path.

TheGreatestmadhairDayinHistory · 08/04/2012 17:48

I can understand why Alpha would not be for some people. I think it has a lot of good but to my mind is getting dated and I like some of the newer stuff out there or forming my own discussion group. But it can be a good start.

I often feel nothing whatsoever when I pray and go through times of doubt and questioning. I'm glad I do, actually, because if I always had this intense feeling of knowing God in it all I'd never question, never use reason, never develop my own knowledge and understanding, which I believe is vital. So I try to use dryer times for this, then when I have times I can experience God's presence it's amazing and incredible, but very much substantiated by building up my own understanding. [busmile]

lulu05 · 08/04/2012 19:33

Has Easter bought this to the front of your mind? It is, I would say for most Christians, a time of deep reflection. And your posts read to me like you already have a belief but are struggling with where to go with it.

lulu05 · 08/04/2012 19:46

Brought

MakeHayAndSneeze · 08/04/2012 20:15

Subbing to this because I feel like I am in exactly the same situation - I go to a vineyard church and although I believe on one level I struggle to feel it and am envious of those who are very secure in their faith. I see many things where my first instinct is to see the work of God in them, then my scientific background/innate cynicism/healthy scepticism (not sure what it is!) kicks in and gives me a more prosaic reason for it like coincidence or luck etc. I just feel like I need something unabiguous to persuade me that I'm not just trying to make myself believe. The one thing I hang on to is this amazing draw towards faith that I have, and the fact that I could not let it go and walk away - I reckon that comes from somewhere.
And I second the suggestion above - vineyard church is amazing, we're lucky to have one close. It's not a "Safe" church, in that the ones I used to go to I felt that I could sit at the back, recite the order of service (hate people putting words in my mouth though), sing a bit and then leave and ignore it for a week but pat myself on the back that I went IYSWIM. With vineyard, it makes you think, it challenges you, and it makes you question things - there's no room for hiding. (And ours provides doughnuts and coffee every sunday... [bugrin] )

TheGreatestmadhairDayinHistory · 08/04/2012 20:53

Ooh MakeHay I went along to a vineyard church for a while when dh was at college. The dc used to call it 'doughnut church'. Always thought that aspect was genius and I will attempt to replicate it in our future churches [bugrin]

I know what you mean though - I sometimes reckon I think too much and it gets annoying when I start letting the cynicism kick in - but then I think to myself God made us with these brains and reason, so we need to use them. Not always easy though. Sometimes I feel utterly secure in my faith and others have a bit of a wobbly. Generally I muddle through, with occasions of wonderful heightened experience of an utterly awesome God, and others of just normal days. Mostly that, tbh, and that's ok.