Can you make yourself believe in god?

[Whirliwig72]

Although I attended faith schools as a child and was for a while quite a comitted Christian, my faith waned on adolescence to the point that I struggle to believe any more. Id love to have blind faith and certainty that I was following a good path but how do I re-acquire it? I've been to a few C of E services over the years but spent most of my time managing my children and did not get a lot out of them to be honest. I'm thinking that reading the bible might be a good place to start but I think I'm going to need more than that to kick start my faith :(. Any ideas - I'm a bit lost tbh. :(

Read a book, Evidence that Demands a Verdict. josh McDowell. It will give you a factual basis for faith rather than "blind faith", always use your critical faculties as a Christian, after all blind faith didn't keep you going as a teenager as you said you gave it all up! All the best for your spiritual journey.

Vineyard sounds great. Yes it is Easter that is making me question things. I was trying to talk easter with my 3 year old and felt like a bit if a crock trying to explain Jesus to him while all the time doubting myself. I've been thinking more about my current relationship with God and like many lapsed Christians it's very one-sided. I seem to call on him only in times of strong emotion/ need. When I had two miscarriages in a row I raged to God about the injustice of it. When I'm really hoping something will go my way I pray otherwise I tend to ignore God .
One of the reasons I'm hoping to find God now is that I need his guidance and strength to help me be a better parent (i find having two under fours very tough and shout at the eldest a lot more than I'd like / constantly feel guilty). I would also love my children to have the comfort and joy that faith brings.

whirli, are you actually me?! I identify with so much of what you are saying (down to the 2 under 4...!). I wish you so much luck on your journey, I hope you find what you are looking for. A friend of mine has leant me a book and a dvd - I'm in bed now but I'll dig out the titles tomorrow as I really think they'll be interesting (if I have time to look at them!).

Another thing that has really helped me has been joining a house group through church - really a coffee and prayer group, with an amazingly supportive group of girls. Does your church do anything like that? It's been great to bounce ideas off them.

Oops, lent - not leant!

I knew someone at church who had an absolutely blind faith, which I kind of envied as I could never have it as I question everything. I told her I admired her faith one day and she replied "My faith gets me through a lot and the lithium gets me through the rest!" which put it all into perspective.

I find that thanking God regularly helps build my faith. Every time I see something good or have a quiet moment I try to think on to thank God and it really is uplifting and faith-building.

Dolly Parton used the phrase "pray without ceasing" (which I thought was lovely) in an interview and I think that just means to be mindful of God in everyday things.

Make Hay your house group sounds lovely. I wish I could find something like that. Our church started some but it became very much about if you were "in" with the organisers so fizzled out.

Whirli it's so lovely to hear that you want to know God more. I have been a Christian for almost 30 years and my relationship with God has been quite up and down, at times very close and faithful and at times a bit distant. I believe that a good way to get closer is to just ask Jesus to reassure and to get a bit closer to you. But because you are probably a very busy mum with two young ones you will need to carve out a tiny bit of time when you can be still and quiet, just sitting in a room peacefully when the kids nap or are in bed, and having a pray. There are all kinds of lovely books/CDs etc that may help you achieve some peace if you get the time. At the other end of the 'spectrum' so to speak there are lively worship CDs you can listen to in the car or when you are doing stuff around the house. The songs are so 'catchy' you may find you are singing these yourself and this may make you feel closer to God, just as listening to romantic music might make you feel more loving for an earthly partner.

Books can help to give you ideas and things to explore, but ultimately you will be thinking things through and talking them through with God, so no book can just give you 'faith'.

A loving Christian community really helps, so finding and going to (getting involved with) a church that suits you will help. Especially if they have a home group you can attend in the evening or a daytime group you can take your kids to. Some will. Most of all I think it just helps if it is local enough for you to be able to go along without it being a major hassle and if people are loving and kind enough to let you go at your own pace.

I would certainly recommend an alpha course, or Exploring Christianity, or similar. These won't magically make you believe or have 'blind faith', they will just give you a chance to explore. I am sure many of us who reply to you who have had faith for a long time would not call it 'blind'. The Christian life is often described as a journey, and so your desire to know God more means you are already on it. I really hope you will find peace, love and joy on route.

If I could recommend a few things I would recommend books (will get back to you when I find some on the Internet to link to). Useful maybe if you can get them, the library may be able to help, or even someone at your local church might have a copy you can borrow. But I must emphsise that reading is not to try and make you believe etc, it will possibly just make you think and you might then pray to Jesus and ask things like 'Is this bit relevant for me, how is it relevant, is there anything I can learn from this etc??'

And just enjoy being with God, bringing him into stuff, as you sit in your local park or garden and watch your kids play why not silently say thank you to God for your lovely kids, for the sunshine, etc etc. Being thankful, noticing the small stuff etc, can make you feel good and make you feel in touch with your creator.

God Bless you, feel free to PM me if you like and please do tell us how you get on. Life is a marathon not a sprint so don't expect blind faith in minutes or days, you are on a journey, as are we all, may it be a blessed pilgrimage and not a miserable trundle, faith is fun and God is real and very loving. Hoping you feel the love.

(Sorry this is SOOOOO long) I am feeling passionate about God today but catch me another day and I might be a real grump, we are all only human!

By the way just thought of one more thing, if you are busy looking after your kids in church then you will find it harder to get anything from the time. If they have a trusted crèche or Sunday school they could go to this would make life easier, or even if a friendly person would sit with you and help to keep kids amused. My DD is 7 and we take notebooks and pens, a few toys etc so she is amused and happy to sit and play while things are going on that she can't join in with (like singing because she can't read well enough really to join in all the songs and she doesn't always want to join in the singing). I also sometimes go to the evening service so I can just be there as a woman rather than a mum! I?m not sure if you have a DH/DP who would be happy for you to do that or if someone trusted might babysit for you while you went to something like that. It is helpful sometimes to be able to do stuff away from the kids but it does depend of course on suitable trusted babysitter/partner/childcare and so be realistic about what you can manage and don?t beat yourself up if you find it hard to concentrate.

Books and music .... just a few suggestions:

Listening to God
Joyce Huggett
www.amazon.co.uk/Listening-God-Hearing-His-Voice/dp/0340864257

The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass (Aged 37 and a Half)
Adrian Plass
www.amazon.co.uk/Sacred-Diary-Adrian-Plass-Aged/dp/0551014180

The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass (Aged 37 and a Half) and Nothing Is Wasted
Adrian Plass
www.amazon.co.uk/wasted-Religion-Spirituality-Adrian-Plass-Books/s?ie=UTF8&keywords=Wasted&rh=n%3A58%2Ck%3AWasted%2Cp_lbr_books_authors_browse-bin%3AAdrian%20Plass&page=1

The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass Christian Speaker Aged 45 3/4
Adrian Plass
www.adrianplass.com/shop/books/sacred_diary_45.htm

You might want to listen to some spiritual music too....

Hosanna (it means save us please)

I doubt if your local church looks like this one! Mine doesn't but it can be just as good to sing songs with a small bunch of people locally as with a huge crowd!

Oh Happy day with a SKA beat!

www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=655414694

Matt Redman

As you listen to the songs you might ask the Holy Spirit to encourage you, to help you to understand the meanings and to make it real for you. It's not magic, or instant, it's just like anything in life that the little bits of time you give, even tiny bits of time, will be rewarded. It's getting to know God and it takes time, but in another sense you have a lot of time once you start that journey. All the best (PS Yes, I became a Christian in the 80s, hence the book choices, someone younger might have some more up to date stuff to suggest, I love humour and so I love Adrian Plass!).

Sorry to take up so much space, it's late and I can't sleep so wanted to share!

Italian I grew up on Adrian Plass, love the brand of humour, they still make me giggle when I read them now :)

Any of you are always welcome to join the prayer thread and chataway thread where we support each other in prayer and discussion, open to all.

Italian I am blown away thank you so much for giving me so much of your time. Xxx

Makehay I'm so comforted to share with someone going through the same experience as me thank you xxx

whirli I hope it is helpful.

Why don't you write God a letter? I know you're probably busy but tell it like it is, exactly how you're feeling, what you're worried about, the questions you have etc.

Good to be real imo. He's there and he's listening

Me too Whirli. Sometimes at church I feel like everyone's so secure and full of the Holy Spirit that it's hard to admit that actually I'm not feeling it, or it's like there's a rather misty window between me and God (actually, that's where my house group have been so good). I often feel like the only searching one.... Thanks for asking the question in your OP - some great replies!

MakeHayandSneeze. I can assure you that you are not alone with those thoughts in church! I'm sure most of us can relate to it. Remember Christianity IS all about searching and questioning. Whenever I'm having a "distant "day I remember one of my favourite verses:

The man whispered, " God, speak to me."
And the meadowlark sang.
But the man did not hear.
So the man yelled, "God speak to me."
And thunder and lightning rolled across the sky.
But the man did not listen.
The man said "God let me see you."
And a star shone brightly.
But the man did not see.
And the man shouted " God, show me a miracle."
And a life was born.
But the man did not notice.
So the man cried out in despair, " Touch me God and let me know that you are here."
And God reached down and touched him.
But the man rushed the butterfly away and walked on.

Writing God a letter is something that has been on my mind, especially after watching the film.

brushed the butterfly away, not rushed !

what film blobtoletter?

The bit about being real - imo it's a vital prerequisite to really connect with God. sometimes I loose track of God and it's because I'm getting a bit religious iyswim - and that's not being real.

also, the people who are full of it - well, imo a lot aren't, a lot are struggling and desperately playing along. Of course, sometimes you get a run of feeling really close to him and everything's falling into place but ime that is not the norm. Most of the time I'm bumbling along not really knowing what's going on or what I'm doing (and, in particular , not knowing what other people are doing...): I just have to trust that he knows what's going on and what he's doing. When I look back, those were the times I 'grew' the most with him because I had to dig deep to find him.

Letters to God - made me cry - such a moving film.

www.imdb.com/title/tt1462054/

I like films with faith though like Flywheel, Facing the Giants and Fireproof.

Watched Perfect Stranger which I loved at the weekend!

Definitely it's when you are in a trench or trough and you are plodding along which is just as valuable as when all is well with the world. The strongest marriages are the ones not where there has been no adversity and no problems but where people have lovingly come through the problems. I think it is the same with God, it's nice when all is going well, but real life is often tough and when it is the little bits of time with God are special. And agree totally it is essential to be real, to tell it like it is to God.

Definitely prayer. Use traditional prayers such as the Our father but make up your own if you feel that is easier. Keep praying daily. Maybe try another church. Is there a Catholic Church near you? Especially one that says the Mass in the old fashioned Latin? I have always found the Latin mass beautiful.

Interesting thread, and you've had some good answers already, Whirliwig. Just popping in quickly to say that I don't think that you can make yourself believe... but I do think that you can create the conditions for yourself that make belief possible. I don't know if that makes any sense at all (sorry... it's very late!). I was going to describe it as 'creating a space and then allowing faith to come in and fill it' but I worried that the detractors would take that metaphor the wrong way and say that if you have a gap in your life then there are other things that could fill it (a new hobby maybe!) without the need for God. I think of it as being a bit like starting to exercise... you don't start taking exercise after years of inactivity and expect to just miraculously wake up fit the next day. So maybe more than creating a space, it's about exercising your faith muscles... which may be stiff or painful after a long time doing nothing, and which you may not always feel like stretching... but which will repay you many times over if you stick at it.

This is certainly how it happened for me. I started going to church after spending most of my adult life wishing I could believe but just not being able to take that leap of faith. In the end, I went back to church anyway (for a series of - mostly 'wrong' - reasons [though not, I hasten to add, to get my children into a particular school or anything...]) and decided that I wouldn't ask myself whether I believed it or not, but would just listen and join in and let God speak to me if that was what He wanted to happen. At the same time (and for different reasons - a desire to help a friend for whom there was nothing practical that I could do) I started to pray... and I have not looked back. I still have my doubts and questions and wobbles, and I think that's normal, but they sit quite happily alongside my faith and don't cancel it out.

Wishing you good luck.

Hi all I have just been posting on another thread about wholeness, because I'm feeling very peaceful now that our fertility treatment has come to an end. Someone kindly posted this link. It is very moving. Just wanted to share it with you.

www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Tl58qufXfYk#!

I couldn't and I tried really hard. Honestly I became a happier person when I let it go.