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Original poster

Can an atheist go to church?

89 replies

GetOrf · 04/06/2011 01:27

Please bear with me as will probably not make sense.

I have been an atheist as long as I can remember. However I have alwasy found churches to be deeply moving and despite never having attended a service per se, when attending wedding, christenings, school services etc I find having been to church soothing. I also enjoy what seems to be the ritual, the organ music, the beauty of the church, the sermons.

I don't know if I believe in a higher being - I have been a non-believer so long it almost seems ludircous to even contemplate the thought. However I find myself interested in the idea of attending church. I very much respect what I know to be the basic tenet of Christianity. However i don't want to study the bible, go on an Alpha course. I just would be interested in attending church and quietly watching and being involved in a low level way.

Is it incredibly shallow to think this? Does it seem that I am cherry picking bits of christianity which I would enjoy? Am I being absurd in liking in an aesthetic level the anglican ritual aspects of church worship, and can I just go to church and sing hymns and sit and the back an watch, just to feel soothed? And if it is, how do I go about it? I have no idea of how to go about going to church, can I just turn up? Or am I being insulting to dedicated and knowledgable christians by thinking I can just roll up, sing a hymn, listen to the music and sermons and gaze at the stained glass just for the enjoyment of it?

I would like to know what christians would think of someone who attended church for these reasons.

Thank you.

OP posts:

AMumInScotland · 07/06/2011 18:24

The 10:15 sung eucharist would be my suggestion too out of that lot - you'll get a mix of "participation" and listening to the choir.

The 15:00 choral evensong would also be good - it tends to be heavier on the "listening to the choir" part, and lighter on the participation.

The 7:40 morning prayer and 08:00 holy communion are likely to be said rather than sung, quite likely no music at all, and tend to get a very small congregation in most places so they wouldn't be what you are looking for.

The Installation this week would be a good chance to turn up when there are other "visitors", and it's likely to feature a lot from the choir.

Well done totally for pointing out the Peace - that can be a surprise when you're not expecting it! Just shake hands and smile at the people closest to you on all sides and in front and behind, say "Peace be with you" if you like but people won't be offended if you don't. There isn't any etiquette on what order to go round people, just basically shake any hands which are put in your direction!

Oh and when people go up for communion, they may go out one end of the pew and come back the other, depending on the "traffic flow", just so you know!

Ihavewelliesbuttheyrenotgreen · 07/06/2011 18:41

I think its great that people want to attend church, for whatever reason (as long as you are respectful which you certainly seem to be).

In the bible Jesus was followed around by large crowds who came and watched him preach. I'm sure that there were a variety of reasons why they came, some probably out of pure curiosity. Certainly they weren't knowledgable and committed Christians as it was too early in Jesus' ministrey for that. But Jesus was happy for them to come so I'm sure he would feel the same about people today.

TotallyUnheardOf · 07/06/2011 19:24

Totally agree with that Ihavewellies.

I was surprised when I went to a Catholic service at the girls' school once that the Peace was much more hands-off (literally). People sort of vaguely waved at one another down the row, but there was no physical contact! (I did witness dd1 going in for a bit of enthusiastic hand-shaking with her class though! They probably thought it was a quaint old English custom. I should've primed her to try Grimma's technique just to see if anyone questioned it or still put it down to being English! )

nickelbabe · 08/06/2011 15:27

TUO's point about the peace is a good one - When I'm congregation, I avoid it like the plague!
Noone will mind if you don't want to "share the peace", the best tip for avoiding it is to sit down and look as if you are praying - most people won't intrude on that. (in theory)

When I'm in the choir, I do the peace only with choristers, and then go back to my seat.
It's up to you how you feel on the day.
(ps, I think of it as an interruption of the service, so if you think of it like that - almost like the coffee thign afterwards - a chance to say hello to your neighbours without having to engage in conversation )

zozzle · 10/06/2011 15:02

Yes you can definitely go and should be welcomed. I go to a Baptist church and we would be more than happy for someone to come along for those reasons. Christian churches are open to everyone.

zozzle · 10/06/2011 15:13

Just to add - just go and watch. Don't feel you have to sing the hymns or pray the prayers or take Communion. Just stand with a hymn book and read the words during the songs and let the communion plate go past you - quite a few people in my church do that and no one bats an eyelid.

If anyone asks about your faith just be honest and say you are currently an Athiest but find churches calming. That's fine. x

TotallyUnheardOf · 13/06/2011 19:34

Did you go, GetOrf? Have been thinking about you.

TigerseyeMum · 26/06/2011 10:30

Thank you for starting this thread GetOrf as it echoes 100% what I have been thinking in the last year.

I was raised Methodist, loved the hymns, rituals, imagery, stories...hated, absolutely hated the faith part of it. I find as an adult I really miss the church rituals part of life and yet my main problem is that I don't have faith. At all. Some of what we were taught when I was young I found offensive (though that was a long time ago).

I was very anti-religion when I was young, but then through the 1980s there seemed a lot of prejudice within the religious teachings and perhaps now we have come through the 'homosexuality is bad' phase and are moving more to an inclusive phase?

I went to Wells Cathedral yesterday which was my 'local cathedral' growing up and I have always had a bit of a love affair with it. Unfortunately I live miles away now and have never considered any of my local churches. Yesterday they had the choir rehearsing and it was just stunning, I wanted to stay and listen but my family would never want to do that.

I find churches very peaceful and I practice meditation in my private (and professional) life and I miss that contemplative side of things. But I don't go because to go to church when you don't have faith seems hypocritical. I don't even know anyone who does go. My partner is very anti-church and thinks you should not even set foot in a church if you are not part of the faith. He sits outside and scowls whenever I visit places!

I am still no nearer to attending a service, but I am glad I am not alone and also I am pleased that what I am used to seems to be High Anglican. I once went to a Catholic funeral and although it was very moving I felt very uncomfortable and out of place. I was brought up Methodist but it isn't my thing at all.

I'm glad I'm not alone and I would love to know how you got on

Original poster

GetOrf · 26/06/2011 10:48

I am going to go this afternoon - have been busy the last 2 sundays so haven't made the morning service, but went to a service (to do with dd's school) on Thursday and it reaffirmed my desire to go. The cathedral is such a beautiful place, and the Dean gave a reading and he seems like a very nice, absolutely non-stuffy person.

I am looking forward to it, I will let you know how I get on

OP posts:

TigerseyeMum · 26/06/2011 11:12

Oh good luck :) Hope you enjoy it. Have never been to Gloucester but if I do I will be sure to pop into the cathedral, it sounds lovely.

Jackstini · 28/06/2011 16:04

How did it go GetOrf? Really hope you enjoyed it.

thanksamillion · 28/06/2011 18:45

Hi there I've followed your thread but not had time to post so far. I hope that you enjoyed the service if you made it on Sunday. FWIW I've been to two of the churches that nickel linked to and although they're both great churches I don't think they're what you're looking for at the moment

Just to add my thoughts, some deeply committed Christians find most connection in the 'mystical' parts of worship (the ritual, singing, peace found amazing historical buildings) and there is absolutely nothing wrong in going to a service to enjoy those things. There's no need even to join in with saying the words if you don't think you agree or believe in them. Most people won't even notice. My Dad has been going to church since he was a boy and never once have I seen him sing a song (I think he'd secretly like to be a Quaker). So go and enjoy and come back and tell us how you got on!

mathanxiety · 02/07/2011 06:01

GetOrf, the whole point of a church is to welcome everyone, so go and make yourself at home. I hope you will have a fab experience. You don't have to work yourself up to any kind of effort wrt faith. Many people go just to try to feel close to God or because the beauty touches them at some level.

CheerfulYank · 02/07/2011 09:27

Of course you should go if you like! I'm a christian but not catholic, and I still enjoy going to Mass with DH. I just sit there and have quiet reflection time, listen to the singing, etc.

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