Can an atheist go to church?

[GetOrf]

Please bear with me as will probably not make sense.

I have been an atheist as long as I can remember. However I have alwasy found churches to be deeply moving and despite never having attended a service per se, when attending wedding, christenings, school services etc I find having been to church soothing. I also enjoy what seems to be the ritual, the organ music, the beauty of the church, the sermons.

I don't know if I believe in a higher being - I have been a non-believer so long it almost seems ludircous to even contemplate the thought. However I find myself interested in the idea of attending church. I very much respect what I know to be the basic tenet of Christianity. However i don't want to study the bible, go on an Alpha course. I just would be interested in attending church and quietly watching and being involved in a low level way.

Is it incredibly shallow to think this? Does it seem that I am cherry picking bits of christianity which I would enjoy? Am I being absurd in liking in an aesthetic level the anglican ritual aspects of church worship, and can I just go to church and sing hymns and sit and the back an watch, just to feel soothed? And if it is, how do I go about it? I have no idea of how to go about going to church, can I just turn up? Or am I being insulting to dedicated and knowledgable christians by thinking I can just roll up, sing a hymn, listen to the music and sermons and gaze at the stained glass just for the enjoyment of it?

I would like to know what christians would think of someone who attended church for these reasons.

Thank you.

Of course you can just turn up!

Our cathedral specifically says its v happy to welcome people of all faiths and none. Actually a big church is probably a better bet than your small local - more likely to do the high church stuff and you'l be able to remain anonymous. You don't have to take part in all the stuff if you don't want to and you wont be the only one either

Lots of people go for all sorts of reasons

My dad knows the Bible inside and out, but he does not believe either and I suppose he drummed it into me.

Just go. It sounds as if you'd really like to, and as if you'd get something out of it.

As long as you go with respect and an open mind then what you actually believe and the extent to which you feel able to participate is entirely up to you. At the cathedral where I go some people take communion, some go up for a blessing and some just stay in their seats; some kneel to pray, some sit and I have even seen some standing. No-one will look askance at you if you just stay in your seat during the communion. Likewise, if you don't feel able to pray, then don't... just take the opportunity to generate some 'head-space' and peace in your life for a few minutes (don't know about you, but it's pretty rare in my life).

If you have a local Anglican cathedral within striking distance, that will probably give you the sort of service that you're after. I always describe myself as liturgically traditional (more smells 'n' bells than happy clappy) but theologically liberal (no problem with women or gay priests or bishops, blah blah) and I go to my local cathedral and find that the services are just right. My dd comes with me and really enjoys Junior Church (aka Sunday School) there too. I've been going since Christmas and no-one has ever approached me about 'getting more involved' or anything. I think that the slightly more impersonal feel of a cathedral (rather than, say, a village church where everyone knows everyone else) is probably better if you're shy of getting more involved than just attending services at this stage.

I have linked to this page before, but you might find it useful as a guide to what to expect. It might be a bit American... I started going to church again (after a loooooooooooong break - since the age of about 16!) when I was briefly living in America and found the page then, but I think it mostly applies equally to the CofE.

FWIW (though I would not extrapolate from my experience and assume that it'd be the same for anyone else), I started going to church for a mixture of 'cynical' reasons (my dds were at a Catholic school for a short time and I wanted them to have a 'church' background - though not a Catholic one, as there were aspects of that I wasn't comfortable with [see above re. 'theologically liberal'!] - so started taking them to the local Episcopal [i.e. Anglican] church to provide that) and the kind of reasons that you talk about in your OP (having felt at home in church as a child, enjoying religious music, wanting my children to understand something of the Christian heritage behind so much of Western art and literature... nothing very profound...). However, I found that actually (almost despite myself and to my surprise) I was able to pray and that I felt drawn towards a faith that I had assumed I'd lost forever. I don't know that I am fully 'there' yet (wherever 'there' is - the Christian life is often talked about as a journey, so maybe it's just that I am still at the start of the journey whereas others are further on, rather than that others have actually arrived?) but for now I'm happy to be moving in that direction.

This may not happen to you. You may just enjoy the architecture and the music and the brief oasis of peace in a hectic life. But that's fine too. Enjoy it, and don't worry about being 'allowed' to be there. For me the beauty and the true centre and message of Christianity is its inclusivity (Jesus didn't come just for the 'chosen few' but for everyone). I know that not all churches preach in those terms, but if you can find one that does, then you should also find a place that gives you something that's hard to find elsewhere.

Good luck.

Of course you can go and you would be very welcome. I would agree that it is easier to be anonymous in a bigger church/cathedral. In a smaller place you should be welcomed and invited to stay to coffee etc but equally it is fine to just duck and run in a polite way.

If you are feeling uncomfortable at all then you could always have a chat to the vicar and explain where you are at with the whole God thing. To be honest I have more repect for people being honest about their faith or lack of, doubts etc than those who may come week in week out but actually don't engage or think or explore for themselves. I'd think it great, as an Anglican priest, that any church or service was a place where someone wanted to be because they found it soothing. A great reason to be there imho.

I think its easier to be anonymous in a larger congregation but people will speak to you if you go now they might think you are on holiday I always speak to new people visitors its just getting to know you but in christian framework like if you meet people at school gate they ask how old your kids are what their names are at church they ask if this is your first visit what church do you normally go to, most churches may say if you want to talk more about it see the minister vicar priest one of the edlers depending on denomination,

You can certainly go along to listen to singing etc, just be respectful, like if you were doing a visit to mosque you woyuld have to take shoes off so even if you dont pray sit quietly if everyone kneels maybe kneel too but no-one kneels at our church

smaller churches maybe friendlier but you can not pass incognito but be honest say you dont know how you feel about god and want to go at own pace

I am amazed at some of the responses here. I would be DELIGHTED for anyone who feels the way you do to come to any of the services in our church. I'm sure that most of the other members would feel the same

As other have said, it's not like everyone who attends church or is a member believes exactly the same thing and you are the only present who doesn't. People will be in different places on their spiritual journey.

Yes, people will speak to you and you might get invited to different events etc, just because people are being friendly and welcoming . Bt it's fine just to thank them for the invitation and say you don't feel it's for you at the moment. Or if thats too much, sit near the back and slip out during the last hymn

And be prepared to try A few different churches before you find one whose style of worship appeals to you. You might be surprised

As others have said, cathedrals and big churches are easy! They get a lot of visitors, so you'd be less visible.

As to high/low the wording can sometimes give you a clue. A service with "solemn" in the title (eg "solemn eucharist") is likely to be high church and include incense. "The Lords Supper" would more likely be low church. Anything with "Praise" in the title is likely to be "happy clappy" rather than traditional, but will probably have good singalong hymns, though possibly with the words up on a screen instead of a hymn book so you can raise your arms up enthusiastically while you sing.

Just try out your local ones - if you feel they suit you, then you'll get something out of them.

I am a catholic and our church is made up of people who come for lots of different reasons. Some like you, are non believers, but who like the "feel" of a church and want an hour of peace and quiet ( although don t always get it as we often have lots of lovely chatty children joining in !). Or they come because their parents are visiting and they haven't told them that they no longer go to church so pitch up just for that Sunday! Everyone is welcome and we always have different people coming each week, so you shouldn't stand out as being a newcomer. Gone are the days, thankfully, when you have to be religious to go to church. And there should be no pressure on you to do more than just sit and then just go. Best to look around till you find somewhere that suits you.

Thank you so much for your kind responses

I feel slightly fraudulent even thinking this way. I still like I say feel that I am an unbeliever, however I feel so moved in some churches I would like to explore that side of it really.

I went into a country church yesterday in a village called Swinbrook in Oxfordshire. I only went on a sightseeing thing (it was the village where the Mitford girls grew up, Nancy Mitford and others of the family are buried in the graveyard) but the church was very soothing and peaceful. I felt very moved at the welcome I felt there, iyswim.

Thank you totally for that explanation and understanding of what I would enjoy. Yes the beautiful words, ritual, songs, incense is what I would enjoy I think. I know it sounds absurd but I really don't think I want to commence bible study or the like, but would just like t o go and feel it sweep over me, if that makes sense, and see how it develops from there. As long as that is not insulting anyone (and thanks for those who kindly say heathens someone like me would be welcome ).

I live in Gloucester, and have been into the cathedral many times, just for a wander round (the cloisters are amazing to see) and to servuces which dd has been involved in.

I think I will go next week, and sit at the back!

Thank you all again.

I would have thought though that only grand people (in both a social and senior parishioner) would attend a cathedral service, are they as inclusive as you say? I have looked at the cathedral website but it just has service times.

Anyone can attend any church service they like. If the 'ritual' appeals, then I'd recommend a cathedral eucharist and it's likely to be fairly anonymous just because of the scale of the building. My children are cathedral choristers and I love the grandness of the cathedral services, but prefer our parish church for regular worship due to it's intimacy. Both can move me to tears if the moment is right. Go along and enjoy!

Hmm... GetOrf. Well, I am very UN-grand and go to a pretty average (also not particularly grand) northern cathedral where there is a real effort to be inclusive. In particular, I find the clergy and their sermons very down-to-earth.

Looking around the congregation, there is probably a predominance of middle-class-ness, if I'm being totally honest. And certainly there is a 'blue rinse'/'Tory party at prayer' component to the congregation (that is, judging on looks alone - absolutely no idea about people's actual politics, you understand... I am going by a certain amount of tweed in evidence!). But there are also families (I tend to go to the 'family' service, because I take dd with me), and enough people in jeans and/or with scruffy hair to balance out the tweediness. There are all ages there from 1 to 100.

I have occasionally been to the later 'traditional' service (both are sung Eucharists, but the family one uses C20th language whereas the other one uses 'traditional' language) and there were (predictably) fewer young people there, but it didn't feel OTT even then. (Another difference, though it probably won't make a difference to you if you don't go up for communion, is that for the family service they set up a communion table in front of the choir whereas for the 'trad' service communion is at the High Altar. I kind of prefer that, as [and I realise that this now sounds a bit petty and fussy!] I like to kneel for communion and take my time a bit, whereas I find standing and queueing a bit 'production line'... but that's just me!).

I say go and let it sweep over you and keep an open mind. And enjoy it.

(Oh, and my advice is not to hover right at the back as you can get caught up with the hymn-book-giver-outers and other 'official' types and may end up being more conspicuous than you wanted. Depending on how the choir and clergy process out, too, you may find that at the end of the service you are suddenly not at the back any more, but right at the front. I go for middle-to-back for general invisibility!)

Just to clarify, because I feel what I said was misread /misinterpreted by a couple of people: I didn't mean to imply that you wouldn't be welcome if you weren't prepared to be involved in the community, just that you should be aware that at some point it is likely that someone will approach you. I was pointing it out just so that you wouldn't be put off by it if / when it happens! As someone who started attending church as an adult, this was always the thing that freaked me out and stopped me from going. If I'd appreciated that it was ok to say 'thank you, I'm not ready to be involved, I just wanted to come and hear the service', I'd've gone a lot sooner!

Sorry if it came across wrong By all means, go! And enjoy :)

Most cathedrals have their own congregation for their normal Sunday and weekday services, they are only "special" for the occasional fancy services where "the great and the good" get invited along. They can be different from the average parish church because people decide to go there for a variety of reasons, where they tend to go to the local parish church as a default. Some might go there for snobby reasons, but mostly it will be because they love the music (choristers, organist etc that most parish churches can't compete with), or because they don't get on with their local church for some reason (too high, too low, they fell out with someone) and tried the cathedral out.

Feel free to "let it sweep over you" - that's just as valid an expression of spirituality as Bible study is. You might start to feel that there is genuinely something to it, or you may just keep feeling that it's a positive experience in your life without having to believe there's a God behind the experience.

It's ok to go to church on that basis, and if you feel it "does you good" in helping you to have a little patch of calm in your life, then that's a good aim in itself.

You don't have to be grandto go to a cathedral service!
DH and the other organist go quite often to cathedral evensong, because they love the tradition of the service.

And the last time I went to a Cathedral evensong, I made sure we sat right next to the choir (at evensong, you normally sit in the Quire part of the chuch, which is more intimate), and because they just happened to be doing pieces I knew, I sang along with them
(when I say sang along, I don't mean sang quietly while they did their thing, but I sang at the loudness expected of the piece.
It was great (and noone told me off for it....)

MrsCadwallader - I know exactly what you mean - it freaks me out when people come to talk to me just because I've gone to the church they're part of. At one point, I did a tour of churches looking for one that didn't talk to me when the service was over!

Glad you enjoyed it GetOrf.

Nickel - I think there is a balance to be struck. Some people like a bit of chat! I also spent a bit of time wandering round different churches and found it a bit offputting if everyone else was chatting before or after services but no one spoke to me. I felt lonely and a bit out of place with no one to speak to. On the other hand, I found the welcome from some people at one church quite full on and intense. I didn't go back there. Maybe a bit of small talk is OK?

I have been going to church again for about 9 months now and no-one has approached me in any sort of meaningful way (i.e. to ask if I want to do anything or get involved). In America everyone spoke to us, but that's because we stood out rather as The Only Brits In The Village Cathedral! And they asked the usual questions ('Where do you come from?', 'What are you doing here?', 'How are you coping with the weather?', blah blah), not 'So can you just outline your beliefs and motivations for coming to this church?'. In the UK hardly anyone speaks - maybe just the odd 'hello' - and occasionally the Sunday School woman has said something about dd. That's it.

Oh, just read that back and it sounds quite unfriendly, which it isn't at all... There's an interesting balance, I think. I liked how the US church was, but that was part of it being generally American - it would feel 'false' I think if people behaved in the same way over here.

jaffa - agree, a bit of small talk is fine - maybe, "hello, lovely to see you - are you staying for a cup of tea and a biscuit?"
not "how long have you been a christian?"

or, like I do "can you sing? do you want to join the choir?"
(i don't really, but sometimes I am tempted! especially as I can see most people from the Choir Stalls and can see if they're singing enthusiastically! )

My local Cathedral would welcome you with open arms. We do ask people don't take Communion unless they believe/are part of a church. For some services the Dean asks people not to say certain words unless they mean them (especially Baptisms). But people of any faith and no faith are welcome.

The music is gorgeous, the sermons usually have something for everyone to think about (and evensong mid week means no sermon and little congregational response).

If you are going to a regular Sunday Cathedral service, the service itself is likely to be in the Quire (up at the top of the nave) rather than in the Nave itself - just so you're prepared. Most Cathedral Quires are as big as a parish church on their own, so you can still be anonymous / sit at the back. The Eucharist is the main Sunday Service.

I am a reasonably regular churchgoer, and not quite sure what my view on my faith is, but I go mainly because it's part of my community, and because I like the continuity aspect of worshipping in my village church (if that makes any sense!).

Ummm not my local Cathedral, they'd never fit everyone in. BTW I have heard that Cathedral congregations are growing. (Not Sunday evensong either.)

You sound like a typical member of the CofE! My DPs, life-long churchgoers, choose what church they go to based on the quality of the architecture and how good the organist and choir are. The whole 'believing in God' bit is seen as a bit of a bonus but not a necessity by a lot of churchgoers.