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Original poster

B*stard bl**dy dog

44 replies

anonymousbird · 10/05/2010 19:58

We have a really lovely 2 year old lab bitch. I chose her, I look after her the vast majority of the time as DH goes to work full time. I walk her, feed her, make a fuss of her, ie. do my best for her to realise that I am fond of her, but also I discipline and do training with her so she knows that I am in charge of her to the same extent as DH is.

HOWEVER, sometimes she just takes the PISS out of me, and is utterly disobedient with me when she feels like it. She is, otherwise, a very well trained dog (trained on the whistle and to respond on first command not after being shouted at 15 times) and quite capable of behaving and doing as she is asked. But if DH is not around, then mostly she could not care less. Behaves like an angel for him of course...

Also, when he is not here - he travels quite a bit - she won't sit with me in the evening, just takes herself off to bed in a huff because darling daddy isn't here...

Is that it? I suspect this situation will never change now? Bastard bloody dog. Do everything I can for it, but also am firm with her to enforce correct order of things. As far as she is concerned, I don't exist!

I shouldn't care really I suppose, but it bothers me!

OP posts:
Vallhala · 10/05/2010 20:47

I don't have the answers I'm afraid, but I do have kids like that! Luckily my dogs and I love and listen to each other.

kolacubes · 10/05/2010 20:50

No advice I'm afraid, hope its not like that forever. Although one of our dogs we got when he was 18 months old, his chosen mistress was my sister. Would behave exactly like you say to me, was indifferent to my parents, adorded my sister.

Even when we left home, he was never fussed by my parents (mum was the one like you), he would ignore me when I walked in, my sister came in, oh he remembered all his tricks, and would sit on her feet for the duration she was there.

He passed away at 16 years old, my sister had left home 9 years previously, and he hadn't changed by the time he died.

Prob not the story you wanted to hear.

deadlyscorpion13 · 10/05/2010 21:03

I do the same for my dog walk, feed, play etc, don't hardly get anything back in return, other half comes home from work, giddy as anything, follows him around till he goes back out, charlie then goes back in his bed until he comes back home. We used to have another dog that was all me and nobody else.

RacingSnake · 10/05/2010 21:10

Obviously a one-man dog Can you get a puppy for you?

Or discuss it with DH and really make an effort that she sees that you are the boss? It sounds as if you have to be more in charge of her than DH and higher up the 'pecking order' than he is.

Are you being too nice to her? Dogs don't work like people - top dog is not nice to other dogs, but is obeyed.

EcoMouse · 10/05/2010 23:31

I think RacingSnake's hit the nail on the head.

It's almost as though you care about it too much. If you were indifferent towards her, she would probably hold you in higher esteem, irritating as it is!

Don't get a puppy 'for you' if this dogs 'rejection' would be the only reason for doing so. It could just as easily (and irritatingly!) go the same way.

MadameCheese · 10/05/2010 23:38

You probably fulfill her needs on demand and therefore she may feel she is the dominant one in the relationship. Does she earn her food or affection? You may need to alter how you reward her on a day to day basis, this will help her to see you as top dog instead.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 10/05/2010 23:46

I feel your pain! I have 2 beagles: Oldboy is MY dog, but behaves consistently with either of us. My bitch, on the other hand, seems to adore my DH, even though he isn't particularly affectionate to her. I am gobsmacked when I see how obediently she trots along at his heels when we are all out at weekends, gazing up adoringly as she goes. When it's just me and the kids, she sticks two fingers up at me and behaves atrociously.

I have tried to be less "nice" to her, and I know in her head she knows I am the boss, but in her heart there is no Boss but DH. I sometimes swear she wishes I would disappear, so she could live out her fantasies of it just being the two of them!

Bloody dog

MadameCheese · 10/05/2010 23:53

Btw my border collie was like this

minimu1 · 11/05/2010 07:36

First don'take this personally. The dog is not liking one person and hating the other.

The going to bed in the evening is quite common and I bet the reason is that the dog is tired and her bed is more comfy! nothing more than that and cetainly not a personal thing against you.

I am not in your house and can not see what is happening but I guess that when DH is around the mood of the house is slightly different. Maybe you are more relaxed eg have less to do on your own, ot maybe the other way around! But it is the change in mood and atmosphere that is much more likely to cause the change in behaviour rather than a preference to one of you over the other.

Do more fun training and (many labs wil go through a stage of trying to get away with things) more positive training and distraction techniques would help this stage.

MrsL123 · 11/05/2010 09:10

Jooley I literally did LOL at her wishing you would disappear - I feel exactly the same about our older dog! I fully expect to come home one day to find pictures of the dog's head stuck over mine on the wedding photos! She adores DH and I think she'd bump me off given half the chance. If I get up off the sofa she dives into my seat before I've even finished standing up, and then hugs into DH with her head on his shoulder, refusing to look me in the eye and pretending she's suddenly gone deaf. Which he finds hilarious, obviously And then she gives him long slow kisses on the face (bleugh) with the most pathetic doe eyes and whiney noises, like she's saying "I love you sooooo much daddy, sooooo much, send her away daddy, it could just be you and me....". And of course when we have the "if you had to save one of us from a fire..." type conversations, he chooses the bloody dog every time. Not quite the way that's supposed to go!

Luckily our younger dog and both cats are definitely 'mine' and only tolerate him because he feeds them. If he tries to pick one of the cats up they run away and come crying to me, it really hurts his feelings

Xayna · 11/05/2010 09:24

I had to chuckle at some of this. We board guide dogs, so have a different dog every three months or so (or less sometimes if they need somewhere to stay for a short period) and, having never had a dog before, it was a bit of an eye opener to me that some dogs just seem to "like" someone more.

The first dog we had adored me and was like my shadow, the next two were pretty much equal between us, the last one was like Jooley and MrsL123 describe. She adored DH, who works away, and would completely ignore me whenever he came home. She'd curl up on his feet, and just generally look at him adoringly. We think it might actually have partly been because DH is softer and occasionally gave in and gave her food, plus as mentioned above, the change in the atmosphere when he came home.

We've got our first boy dog this time, so waiting to see how he turns out. He is soft as anything (he only arrived last night!) so i'm hoping he might like me more. Not that it's a competition in any way of course!

comewhinewithme · 11/05/2010 09:30

My lab is the same he lavishes love on me and listens to my every command but DP who feeds him and walks him is ignored .

2old4thislark · 11/05/2010 11:14

I feel you pain too. Our first dog was MY dog to start off with - but after my DH started working from home for a while she switched allegiances. Probably not a bad thing though as I really had to persuad him to get a dog - he's a cat person really.

I do all the feeding, training and most of the walks yet she'll always snuggle up with Daddy. SHe'll only snuggle up with me if he's not around but most of the time she prefers her bed. It does look comfy though.

We got a second dog which is supposed to be my daughter's dog but she loves me best and always snuggles up with me.

They are fickle.

MrsL123 · 11/05/2010 11:30

Fickle is the word - I was off work sick yesterday and again today, and the harlet dog in question is lying next to me on the sofa with her head on my knee, like butter wouldn't melt. But later when DH comes home, I won't get a look in. Actually, I'm pretty sure she's just lying there because she wants the heat off the laptop

When DH gets all smug about her 'loving him more', I just say it's because he smells like the other favourite man in her life - her walk-boyfriend Harvey the spaniel

MrsL123 · 11/05/2010 11:31

I must add, mine is a lab bitch too - I'm seeing a pattern!

oxocube · 11/05/2010 11:35

MrsL, your posts are very funny

Original poster
anonymousbird · 11/05/2010 11:45

Oh this is funny to read.

My lab is just an absolute tart. In fact, such is her disgust with me that not only does she retreat when it's just me and spring out when DH comes home, she also pings back to life if ANY OTHER MALE OF ANY DESCRIPTION appears at the house.

Bloody hussy.

Last time he was away, it was 6 nights. On night 5 I thiink she had given up hope that he was ever coming home again so I was graced with her company, but you could see the reluctance in it. A kind of begrudged "oh FFS, he's left me, I suppose that other human is better than nothing". 48 hours later her lord and master and GOD returned and she practically did a back flip.

Bl*dy Bstard dog! I say it again!

OP posts:
EcoMouse · 11/05/2010 11:49

GSD's aren't really like this. They know who loves them and give it back tenfold! My cross is so far from fickle that while she's perfectly friendly, she wont even take treats from strangers

minimu1 · 11/05/2010 12:56

OMG I can't bear it - humanising dogs emotions - no wonder there are so many behavioural problems around. [grumpy old dog lady icon and slopes off to communicate with real dog people]

MrsL123 · 11/05/2010 13:38

Dog people? Do they have tails and hairy feet?

It's just a bit of fun, it's not like we're dressing them in t-shirts and baseball caps and making them eat at the table

oxocube · 11/05/2010 13:42

A friend is on holiday in Japan where she said many dogs are dressed up in little coats, hats and sunglasses

MrsL123 · 11/05/2010 13:45

If I come home one day to find the dog in my best undies, I'm packing my bags

Bella32 · 11/05/2010 14:41

MrsL - you are a hoot, no doubt about it, and the mental Image of dogs in undies is going to haunt me...

I do, however, know where Minimu is coming from and a lot of people (not meaning anyone on here) interpret a dog's actions as if they were a human, get totally the wrong end of the stick (lol) and real problems can and do arise.

My dogs are very attached to me but I don't think for a moment they 'love' me. They just know I'm the one who walks and feeds them. And a dog never goes in a huff

MrsL123 · 11/05/2010 14:56

The thing is, most people do humanise animals to an extent, otherwise we wouldn't be such a nation of animal lovers and all these appeals by animal charities wouldn't work - "buster just wanted someone to love him, but his owner abandoned him and left him scared and alone" wouldn't have such appeal if it said "buster hadn't seen his slave in two days. He was now hungry and getting mightily pissed off"

At one end of the scale, you have a loon who dresses her cat in a nappy and pushes it around in a pram, and at the other end you have a farmer who sees his dog as a souless commodity, there to serve a purpose and no more. I consider myself to be somewhere in the middle (as most people would, I think) perhaps leaning more towards the loon end of the scale, as I am in most areas of my life

veryconfusedandupset · 11/05/2010 15:19

My first dog was of the distinct impression that my boyfriends came to visit her and not me. She didn't take much notice of me, seemed to regard me as her servant, but it was all ears up, perky walk, snuggling up on the sofa with any male who came into the house - she also used to play the "potato game" where she would go and get a potato from the vegetable rack and play very ostentatiously with it, then eat it noisily - which always provoke a "wow"! What a tart she was (but the most intelligent of the 4 dogs and the greatest character)