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Is it fair to re-home my cat with a woman who already has ten others?

43 replies

Spidermama · 10/04/2010 21:45

Mine is a lovely cat. Beautiful. But she's in the wrong home here. I have a noisy house full of boisterous boys with a new Tom cat across the road who lurks around looking menacingly inside the windows. She also has a sister who bullies her and eats all her food.

Anyway she is quite a timid cat and has been spraying, relentlessly, all over the house in multiple locations.

I've had enough. I've tried loads of things and it's getting worse not better. I can't see the cycle being broken so I have decided to find her a new home.

I've found a woman who's really nice, lives alone and has ten cats. She tells me she keeps acquiring them and rescuing them and that they are all happy. She has more of a yard than a garden. She came to visit my cat.

Anyway she'll give her a home.

I'm torn and anguished. On the one hand I don't think she'd like sharing a home with so many other cats but I really can't bear living like this any more and I have to think of myself and my children.

This woman is clearly a serious cat lover but is it possible for a cat to enjoy living with so many others?

I honestly never thought I could ever possibly contemplate re-homing an animal but this is driving me up the wall. I hate being at home and am mortified when people come. I'm having to do so much cat spray removal on top of my normal heavy cleaning load. A large part of me is thinking - don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

BTW I have told this woman that the cat is spraying.

OP posts:
FiveGoMadInDorset · 10/04/2010 21:46

No, not unless you have visited her house and are happy.

MmeLindt · 10/04/2010 21:46

I would not.

If she is so unhappy in your home, she is going to be worse in this woman's home.

Do you have an alternative?

differentID · 10/04/2010 21:47

If the cat is timid then she needs to be in a single cat home with maybe one quiet person.

joycetheripper · 10/04/2010 21:48

If its a girl and she's spraying, have you had her spayed? That usually stops it in girls I thought?

Spidermama · 10/04/2010 21:48

MmeLint I have no alternatives. I tried to convince my animal-loving mum who lives alone in a cottage in Dorset to have her but she won't.

Ideally she'd go somewhere else better suited to her but let's face it, the shelters are full of these timid spraying cats. They're seriously hard to live with.

I just think I may never get another offer and will kick myself for not taking this woman up on hers.

OP posts:
Spidermama · 10/04/2010 21:49

Joyce she IS neutered.

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thisisyesterday · 10/04/2010 21:50

i don't think i would if you think the cat won't like it with so many others.

i would call one of the re-homing places

peggotty · 10/04/2010 21:50

GOd, PLEASE don't!! DO you really think your cat is going to be happy going to a home with ten other cats in it when she's stressed with children and one other cat! Your cat needs to go to a home with no children and no other cats. Woman sounds like one of those mad animal-hoarder types who collects animals regardless of whether the animals are happy or if they have a big enough house. Honestly it is a very bad idea.

Spidermama · 10/04/2010 21:52

I know what you're saying but the fact remains I don't have the perfect option of a one house cat with a loving, quiet, middle aged woman. It could be pretty hard to come by and meanwhile she's making our family life hell by pissing vile smelling stuff all over the house.

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Joolyjoolyjoo · 10/04/2010 21:52

my experience with stress-urinating cats is that a multi-cat household is the worst place for them- sorry Cats do not like living in close proximity with lots of other cats. Urine marking is one of the things a stressed cat does to make itself feel more secure.

She needs the opposite- a loving home with possibly just a couple, where she doesn't feel anxious. I appreciate you are looking for a way out and this woman has handed you one, but I would guess this would not be the best situation for your cat

FiveGoMadInDorset · 10/04/2010 21:53

Get in touch with your vets, ours are really good at rehoming.

joycetheripper · 10/04/2010 21:54

I wish you the best of luck. I do know how it is when a loved pet becomes a nuisance. But hold out for longer and start searching on the internet and put ads up, I bet you can find a really lovely home for her and then you wont have any horrible guilt over it, you'll know you did the right thing by her. I think that's really important for yourself as well as for her sake. Good luck.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 10/04/2010 21:54

Have you been to your vet? Tried feliway? talk to the CPL or other organisations before giving her to this woman. There ARE homes out there, and often the CPL will pass her to a foster carer until they can find just the right home for her

MmeLindt · 10/04/2010 21:55

I can understand you being at the end of your tether but it is going to make the cat seriously unhappy. Do you have an animal shelter nearby? Could you give them a ring and ask for advice?

Spidermama · 10/04/2010 21:55

OK. I hear you. I'll try again to find an alternative. Maybe the vet can help. I would probably carry terrible guilt if I had her over to this woman.

Bollocks.

OP posts:
peggotty · 10/04/2010 21:55

I would consider rehoming the more confident cat tbh.

SuziKettles · 10/04/2010 21:56

I'd visit her first in case she is a collector (I'm sure she isn't). If you're happy then for her to have your cat then why not? She's presumably very experienced and will do whatever's best for your cat.

Spidermama · 10/04/2010 21:56

I looked into feliway but it's about fifty quid a bottle and I would need to have it in every single room in the house.

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Vallhala · 10/04/2010 21:56

Agree with peggotty. Please speak to Cats Protection instead and ask them for an honest assessment of her chances of being rehomed and what their policy is with respect to PTS.

If you're not happy with their answers then there are other rescues which will be able to help. Celia Hammond comes to mind immediately, but again you'd need to know their policy on PTS.

joycetheripper · 10/04/2010 21:56

I take it you have had her checked for urinary tract infections and things like that? Sometimes there is a physical cause for these issues. But yes, try the vet. Cats Protection. Try everything. You'd be amazed how much you can get done with the internet, a phone and 3 hours plugging away for an animal related miracle. People will try to help you if they can.

Spidermama · 10/04/2010 21:57

What's PTS?

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Ukelegirl · 10/04/2010 21:58

Spider - unless you want the cash try freecycle

I have just had to sadly say goodbye to a pet because we are moving and the guinea pigs cant come with us (rented property)
I listed them on freecycle on wednesday, 12 replies and today a lovely young couple came and fell in love with them immediately.

peggotty · 10/04/2010 21:59

PTS = put to sleep. Euthanasia.

Spidermama · 10/04/2010 22:00

Ukelele our freecycle won't allow you to put animals on. I put her on the freecycle cafe which is how this serial cat woman got in touch.

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Joolyjoolyjoo · 10/04/2010 22:01

I'm not trying to be mean- I am a vet, so come up against thsi problem all the time- mainly in people with a multi-cat household who don't understand why their cat is pissing everywhere! It's not an easy one, but your vet might be able to give you a few pointers to try. If you do go, try to take a urine sample (ok, I KNOW it's not easy!) as that will allow them to test for UTI's etc too.

FWIW I took a CPL cat home as a trial a few years ago, and the poor animal was traumatised in our house- he spent half the time hiding and the other half crapping everywhere- guessed the dogs/ kids were just too much for him. CPL took him back, and Gregory (dd1 named him- noone knows why!) ended up in a nice sedate home, the opposite to the loony bin we have here, and lived happily ever after! So worth a phone call- or even let your vet do the introduction to the rescue for you (disclaimer- it's not necessarily in their jurisdiction, but a lot of us will try to help when we see a stressed cat and an even more stressed owner!) Good luck!