Is it fair to re-home my cat with a woman who already has ten others?

[Spidermama]

Mine is a lovely cat. Beautiful. But she's in the wrong home here. I have a noisy house full of boisterous boys with a new Tom cat across the road who lurks around looking menacingly inside the windows. She also has a sister who bullies her and eats all her food.

Anyway she is quite a timid cat and has been spraying, relentlessly, all over the house in multiple locations.

I've had enough. I've tried loads of things and it's getting worse not better. I can't see the cycle being broken so I have decided to find her a new home.

I've found a woman who's really nice, lives alone and has ten cats. She tells me she keeps acquiring them and rescuing them and that they are all happy. She has more of a yard than a garden. She came to visit my cat.

Anyway she'll give her a home.

I'm torn and anguished. On the one hand I don't think she'd like sharing a home with so many other cats but I really can't bear living like this any more and I have to think of myself and my children.

This woman is clearly a serious cat lover but is it possible for a cat to enjoy living with so many others?

I honestly never thought I could ever possibly contemplate re-homing an animal but this is driving me up the wall. I hate being at home and am mortified when people come. I'm having to do so much cat spray removal on top of my normal heavy cleaning load. A large part of me is thinking - don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

BTW I have told this woman that the cat is spraying.

Valhalla- in my experience the CPL are very anti-PTS. I have seen them rehome 17 yr old cats with thyroid problems among others, so no real worries on that score.

Am a bit at £50/ bottle feliway!! Our feliway diffusers are £34, and the bottle is around £20 I think- look online, see if you can get it cheaper! You can also now get feliway collars, which means the feliway goes with the cat, and you don't have to do every room. HTH

i always look at animals on gumtree

Hi

I agree with all the other posters who say a multicat household is not the way to go. My sister had 2 cats - a brother and sister and has just had to rehome the male as he started spraying and peeing everywhere. She talked to the vet and the CPL who told her that by the age of 3 or so it becomes apparent some cats just aren't happy living with other cats ( my sister's 2 lived really happily together until recently). She contacted the CPL again and they found a new home for him last week with no other cats. It took a month or so and she had to keep him until they found a home. It really is worth talking to your local branch they can find her a good home where she'll be happy.
Good luck.

I know someone lovely who runs a small rescue for cats - www.pinkpawsrescue.org.uk/ - she's very experienced and might be able to help rehome your cat to someone more suitable and properly homechecked. The spraying is probably stress related, and if she's not coping with living with her sister, putting her in an environment that's already crowded with ten other cats will be hell for her. I've had a sprayer and I know how upsetting it is, but please try and rehome her via a reputable rescue that will offer backup support to her new owners and make sure she's safe and looked after if the new home doesn't work out. If Pink Paws can't help, they might know of a rescue in your area that can.

Thanks jooly. She was OK for the first two years. Nervous of my kids but managed to find quiet spots and get on with things quite happily. Her spraying coincides with the arrival of a big, ballsy Tom cat across the road who hangs around.

We went away for a week and came back and the house absolutely stank. She had excelled herself pissing absolutely everywhere. It was a horrible home coming. Really grim. I had to do so much cleaning and laundry. I really felt it was the last straw and I should take drastic measures to protect my home.

Clearly the children hadn't bothered her as they were away. It must have been the Tom.

No, please reconsider this. I know you're at the end of your tether but you need to do what's best for her, not what's easiest right now. If you really want her to go now, she would be much better off in a no-kill rescue who will find the right home for her. Because quite honestly, I think you are doing her an injustice saying that she is not easy to live with. On the contrary, in her eyes, you are the one who is not easy to live with. As you say, she is a lovely cat. She is not a 'cat who sprays', she is a 'cat who is stressed'. Once she is in a quieter environment that she considers to be safer (and this may even be the rescue centre) the spraying will stop and she will become less timid - and therefore all that will be left is the 'cat who is lovely', and someone will jump at the chance to rehome her

Ps if you fail to find a suitable rescue or home and would like help in locating a rescue, please give me a shout. Most of my rescue work is with dogs but I do have cat rescues and all-animal sanctuaries on my contact lists and my contacts will doubtless be able to pass the message on in order to help find somewhere.

We work country-wide so even if a rescue place is found miles from you we are normally able to set up a transport run to get the animal to his or her destination, although willingness on the part of the owner to do the trip or part of it is incredibly helpful and appreciated.

It could well have been the tom, spidermama I've seen cats that are housecats and never go out start spraying because another cat moves in down the road- they don't even need to have contact to get upset by an interloper, strange little beasts that they are! I always say that cats have very complicated minds- hence the reason there are scores of dog behaviouralists, but very very few people prepared to try to analyse what the hell goes on in a cats mind!!

I think in the long term you are probably doing the right thing by rehoming her- she is telling you she isn't happy, and there isn't necessarily any way you can make her happy. As I said, I knew we weren't doing Gregory any favours keeping him with us- he is far happier where he is- such are cats!

Hope you get somewhere with the CPL and your vet- let us know!

Thanks Spiderlight. I'll look at pinkpaws.

MrsL I understand what you are saying but this is going round and round in my head and surely a cat loving loon, even with 10 other cats, would be a better home than a cage in a rescue centre which stinks of terrified, condemned moggies?

Anyway I reckon you are all right. I don't think I can do this to her. I will have to fork out for feliway, will look into the collars (thanks jools) and just keep plugging away. She deserves a lovely quiet house to live in. She really will make a great, loving companion in the right home. She loves but only from the person least able to find the time to give it to her. Me.

And thank you for the reassurance Jooly. I thought as much about CP but wasn't sure so was taking no chances!

Thanks Valhalla I'll bear that in mind.

I would of course be happy to deliver her anywhere in the country if it were the right home for her. I'd also give her new owner money for food etc.

Thanks for talking me out of this cat hell solution. I knew deep down it was wrong.

Spidermama
You are doing the right thing, you knew when you posted here that you did not want to give her to the cat lady. It must be horrible for you, I do hope that you can find someone to take her and give her the quiet loving home that she deserves.

I don't think any shelters (perhaps except the RSPCA!) do stink of terrified condemned cats. The staff and volunteers that work at the shelters do so because they love cats, and they take very good care of them - lots of cuddles throughout the day etc. It's also very unlikely that she'll be in a cage - most of the places I've been to have a cattery-type set up. Think of it from your cat's perspective - her own 'house' with her own bed, nobody staring in at her, nobody stealing her food, able to nap when she wants, eat when she wants, no noisy boys running around etc, no need to hide, and some nice woman coming in every couple of hours to give you a cuddle. Or the alternative - a strange house full of 10 scary cats, not a minute's peace, still fighting over food. You might think that life in a shelter will be lonely for her - she'll probably consider it a holiday

Maybe you could visit your local CPL and get a feel for the set-up and it might put your mind at rest?

Thanks ML.

Just to add-it is no failing on your part. Some cats cope fine with certain environments, others don't. It's just her nature and her personal response to stress. I'm sure you love your cat, but both you and she are unhappy with the way things are now, so I think you are acting responsibly by trying to find a home she will be happy in, even though you wish it could be with you. I really do hope things work out for you both.

Thanks Jooly. That really means a lot to me.

Try Preloved too - hope you find her somewhere

I personally think she'd be better off as an only cat or maybe with one other. Cats can be quite mean to a new cat when they haven't grown up together, and if she is very timid anyway, she could end up very miserably if all ten of them decided to bully her! She could also end up running away if she's an indoor and outdoor cat.

Just because the woman has quite a few cats doesn't necessarily mean she is a hoarder (I have quite a few myself lol) but if they aren't neutered, and she allows them to breed, that's a bad sign. also of course if they appear ill (cat flu etc.)

Have you tried contacting the CPL or local SPCA to see if they know of anyone looking for a cat like yours? You could also try putting a notice up in local vets offices, pet shops, ordinary shops etc as well.

She might also be better of a an indoor-only cat, as in a new home, with her being timid, she might run away/not allow her new owners to catch her or be unwilling to come back indoors. (One of my cats is very timid, when she's indoors, you can catch her no problem but once she goes outside it's almost impossible to catch her again or coax her back indoors.)