Has anyonr had to rehome a dog? Desperately in need of advice

[pandabob]

To cut a long story short, we are having to think about whether to rehome our dog, a cavalier KC spaniel. He has snapped at members of the family a number of times, seemingly from know where, one time breaking the skin on my dd's hand. It is a very sudden and aggressive snap.

We initially took him to the vet who checked him physically etc. We have then taken him to a behaviourist (also a vet)our vert recommended who was very helpful. Had a really long session, at the end of which he basically said that it did not seem to be an issue which could be trained out of the dog. He said he is generally a lovely well behaved dog, but he has an 'irritable' streak and it is for us to decide whether he is a dog we can live with. This is partly he said as there has not been any warning of him snapping, not really linked to anything, just if he's being 'grumpy'.

So we decided to be more careful in not disturbing him when asleep, being strict etc, however, yesterday he snapped again at a friends teenage daughter and scratched her skin. As people think he is a very friendly placid dog (which is is 99% of the time) it was such a shock for her and we obviously felt dreadful.

We have now come to the point where we feel no real option but to rehome him. Although we love him we, particularly dh, can't see how we can have a dog in the house that we can't trust to be stroked by people coming to our house (different if small children but this was a sensible, dog owning 17 yr old). The behaviourist has said he would be happy to recommend him for rehoming to someone without children.

I just feel absolutley awful at giving up on him and losing a part of our family and can't imagine not having him, but feel we're kidding ourselves by keep giving him another chance - which in a way has been easier as he is a small dog, but no less serious.

Has anyone else been through similar?

Thanks

I suppose I should try and get some housework done before you tell me in that "tone" that its my fault my dog chews because I leave things out for him.

Shut up and stop being so over-sensitive, sb

Let us just consider Jon for a few minutes instead....

Pandabob,

Just caught up with this, and I have to say I'm very surprised, snappy behaviour is VERY out of character for the Cavalier breed (brain development probs not-withstanding, but I suspect your vet may have had a look for those symptoms).

I too wonder if he has hearing problems, and is being startled if he doesn't realise a hand is near him (dogs often have eyes open when they are asleep you know).

I also wonder what you did on those rare occasions when it has happened? If it happened here, I would carry/drag dog outside and slam the door on him immediately (as in shut him out, not hurt him with the door). Leave him out there for 10 mins or so, then let him in but ignore him for at least an hour. Cavvies (when awake) thrive on attention, and being immediately removed from all contact is a good punishment.

Do bear in mind too, he is SNAPPING, not necessarily intending to bite, but probably misjudging and catching the skin. I recognise that is no consolation for the person who gets caught, but it is a less aggressive action than actually intending to bite. I know, I grew up with a west highland terrier, who would warn me with a snap if I overstepped the mark (which I did from time to time). He once caught me with a big canine tooth (I still bear the scar). He was devastated, fussed all round me crying while my mum bandaged me up, and I don't recall him snapping after that (altho' I probably had more respect for him too).

Obviously, only you can decide if you can try to put this right.

If not, please contact the Breed rescue, who will find him a home.

I'd take him on myself, but already have 2 cavvies, including one we took 3 years ago from a home where she wasn't wanted. I can't rescue another until my old lady passes on.

Good luck tho.

Brill post, Clumsymum.

I grew up with a Westie too - they do teach you quite a lot

SB

"Said dog has been trained to sit and drop which the little bugger will do for everyone else just not DS!"

Our 2 will fetch toys and bring them back for DH and I, but not for DS. I think it's simply because he faffs about, and doesn't just throw the toy again. So the dog loses interest.

OK - not "straight from" the Clothier book, but it's exactly the same as what's in that Clothier book (which I read just a few days ago), which is why I recommended it. I didn't actually mean that you'd copied it out Bella btw.

The only advice I really gave was not to wake a sleeping dog, and I learned that at my mother's knee. Quite literally.

I know you didn't mean any harm by your comment, and I haven't taken any offence.

Non passive-aggressive

OP This is such a difficult but common situation. Obviously you do not want to put your family at risk and when a dog is inconsistent in its behaviour it does seem harder to change.

My personal bugbear (I am honestly not getting at anyone here) is that people have a problem and seem quite happy to pass it on to other people by rehoming. If the dogs behaviour can not be changed then I do not feel it appropriate to pass on a really aggressive dog.

I would get another behaviourists view - different methods and different behaviourists specialise in different issues and types of dogs. I would be willing to help if you are nearby obviously it is so hard to judge behaviour from a thread.

The rehoming point is difficult. I have just got a 11 month re homed dog that when we got her ran away, was very destructive and wasnt properly house trained. None of which the owners fessed up to when they gave her back to the breeder who then gave her to me to live with her sisters. If you do re home your dog be totally up front as to why. That said she is a lovely dog who wouldnt hurt a fly and is finally settling down after about 4 months of persevering!!

Hi everyone, thanks for all your messages.

Thanks for the link to other behaviourists Bella and for your advice, straight talking is ok, i'm quite hard to offend really

Clumsymum, that's good tip re putting him outside for ten minutes.You're right that it is more of a quite viscious snap rather than a bite, but if a hand is in way it gets scratched.

Matha, he was checked for any physical problems and I think for sight hearing, but I will double check with vet.

Vallahala, really good suggestion to contact the breed shelter/organisation for advice from them seeing similar issues. I'm in Herts and I thikn there is a Cavalier Club that also rehomes so will contact them for advice.

I had felt that we'd tried everything we knew how to do and it hadn't worked so were left with few options, I now feel really hopeful that with a bit of a change in mindset and some more work we might be able to sort it out. Thanks for all your advice. Hope you don't mind if I come back for more as we go along!

Is the book people have mentioned one some of you recommend?

That's brill news, Pandabob - am glad you are feeling more positive

The Clothier book is good but quite waffly - nice relaxing bedtime reading but more of a general dog philosophy book than anything.

The one I'd really recommend is this which has several areas you might find of interest, including triggers for aggression. I don't mean this in any way as a substitute for the services of a behaviourist, and I'm sure you know that, but it might help you understand a bit better what may be going on.

Please, please do keep us posted. I would love to think that you can get this sorted out and that happier times are ahead for all of you

I might have missed it but how old are your children? If you have young children then i think your dog is finding it all a bit much and the kinder thing to do would be to rehome her. Most, i say most because i once came across one that run five miles a day with its owner are pretty sedate dogs and just want a quiet life.

For whatever reason, your dog has taken to snapping and you can't take any chances - i think i would judge it on the age of your children. If they are old enough to be able to take sensible precautions in order to avoid being bitten then do give her a go - a snap to the hand on a teenager is very different to a snap to the face on a toddler.

Ask your vet for the number of the local cavalier rescue - i dont think you would have major problems rehoming her, she doesn't sound like an overly aggressive dog, but maybe she needs a child free home. Better for her in the long run, pants for you of course

Sorry to hijack ladies but can anyone help here please?

I don't know much about dogs.
Thanks.

Lem, my children are 11 and 12. They've always been pretty good with him but we've sat down and talked about what we all need to make sure we do. We talked about how they may be tempted to treat him differently because he;s a little dog, I've told them to imagine he's a really big rottweiler and treat him with the same respect.

He's actually really active for a cavalier, one thing the behaviourist did say was I should probably stop running with him. (was only short runs, he'd always seemed to enjoy it but was perhaps keeping going more than he should). But he'll happily keep going in walks.He loves attention etc but I agree he obviously likes and needs his chill out time, so we've talked as a family as being as concious of making sure he's able to have that as well as exercise.

Can't tell you how happy I am to read this, panda. What a fantastic approach you are all taking: brill, brill, brill

Thank you Bella!! Will keep you posted

Oh yes - please do. Stick around - there are a few straight talkers but we're a nice bunch on here really