Is there anything I can do to discourage dogs from jumping up at / sniffing around my DS?

[megonthemoon]

I was going to post in AIBU, but I know that wouldn't achieve anything so wanted to come to Pets to see if there was any practical advice/suggestions?

We go out walking on the beach/hills a lot with DS (22mo, fairly small for his age). These are places where people tend to have their dogs off leads, and the dogs always seem super interested in DS, I guess as he is small. Although many owners call their dogs back and get a response and/or put them on leads when they see us near (yay to them!), many do not and I am getting a bit scared/annoyed and don't know what to do.

I am not a dog fan at all - quite scared of them really - but DS doesn't seem too fazed yet and I don't want to pass on my fears to him. However this weekend he has been a) knocked over by a lab, b) been licked in the face by a jumping Jack Russell, c) been sniffed at and circled by 2 or 3 different dogs and d) been loudly barked at by a bounding dog (although this dog didn't come up too close).

Shouting at the owners is futile I've found - they just say "oh he's being friendly" or "oh sorry" or try to call the dog back but don't really persist in gaining control - I just think this is crap behaviour of owners personally but I don't want to get into a blazing row. Is there anything I can do to discourage dogs coming near to DS, or to prevent them jumping up? I don't want to have to run over to DS every time I spy a dog, and nor do I want to have to keep picking him up. And I am petrified if one of these dogs turns violent if DS inadvertently does something to provoke them.

Any tips on what I should do?

Gosh, I'd have an utter fit if someone dared roll their eyes at me if I said I didn't want their dog to touch me, I really would, it is absolutely indescribably out of order.

I really don't get why some owners (and I'm not referring to anyone here on the thread) don't get that some people don't like dogs coming up to them. Is it so hard to put yourself in someone else's position just for a minute ?

We went out for a walk with my elderly neighbour who had had dogs all her life and kindly came with us when we went to see our dog. She was clearly quite disconcerted when I'd call dog back if we were about to go round a corner and I couldn't see what was coming and asked me why. I said it was because I couldn't see if there was anyone there and I didn't want her to approach anyone and was worried about her jumping habit, especially with children. She really didn't get it and trotted out the old "well if you walk in these woods you have to expect it " I politely told her that I didn't expect it before having the dog so thought it was totally unreasonable for me to think that other people shouldn't have to put up with it.

She then said the next morning she'd been talking with her DH and whilst they understood that you do here all these media reports of dogs going for children I needed to remember that they are very rare and generally your average lab mix just doesn't do this so I didn't need to worry. I had to explain again that I wasn't worried about her biting anyone, I just didn't think it was acceptable for her to approach people we don't know at all. It still didn't quite go in, she looked at me really strangely as if I was slightly mad.

Mrs L123 that is exactly what you did do by comparing dog walking to mugging and also admitting that your dog knocked over a child and then kissed it!

Dogs don't kiss FGS.

We're not all dog behaviourists minimu - ask 99% of people what they call it when a dog excitedly licks them and they'd call it kissing. I also call it 'shaking hands' when she gives me her paw, put I'm sure that's not the technical term either. So shoot me.

You're obviously getting very frustrated by us mere mortals who don't have robot dogs and sometimes make mistakes, therefore I'm not going to post anymore. This thread stopped being helpful to the OP long ago and TBH it seems that you're just trying to pick holes in everything and preach about a cause, rather than help the OP with her original request for practical advice.

I didn't want this to turn into AIBU (I know I'm not ) so I posted here and I have found it helpful - useful tips (which I wanted) and trying to understand the owners' perspective. I'm feeling slightly more charitable to some dog owners as I know part of it is that I do hate dogs so am really sensitive to it even when they just come sniffing around, but I do think it is still not on for my DS to be jumped at or knocked over like this even in 'doggy areas' and nobody can persuade me that i should accept that if i choose to go those places. Of course dogs will come close and check him out (DS is small and gorgeous and of course highly attractive ) and I should learn to cope with that, but we shouldn't have to suffer a tiny boy being knocked over or slobbered on by an unknown dog!

We're new to where we live, and we're bound to come across some areas that are clearly very doggy when we explore. I guess I might have to be a bit more circumspect about my annoyance/fears in those areas (deal with the situation so I know DS is safe but not say too much to the owners) or choose not to go. But I'll be damned if I'll be forced off the South Downs Way just because I don't want DS to suffer like this. That is very definitely not a 'doggy' area - it's an 'everybody' area. Owners there should absolutely recognise that they have to have their dogs under control or else they are in the wrong. So I might be a bit more assertive in those situations when they say "he's just being friendly". Something along the lines of "I appreciate that, but it's quite scary when an unknown dog jumps up at/licks/knocks over our small son and doesn't seem to be under the control of his owner. Perhaps you could try to keep tighter control when children are around up here". Could anyone get stroppy with me for that, really?

As an aside, I'm glad I'm not the only person who thinks being licked by a dog is gross. I don't even particularly like being licked on the face by a human, let alone a slobbery canine

hello littleducks - if my upfront strategy doesn't work (or I'm too chicken to use it!) i might well steal your line about allergies

You don't need to be a rocket scientist to have a well trained dog MrsL123.

If they are not well trained keep on a lead simple You don't need a behaviourist degree to know that.

Meg - well done for asking the question in a non AIBU area and way!!!

I've got a dog, and I have a ds (4.9). And I've been on the receiving end of both issues - I have been shouted at by a dog owner to 'keep my toddler away from her dog' - ds was about 10m from me in a big recreation field, quite close to both our dog and hers - she was about 30m off - I was so that I didn't get any appropriate retort in!!!. I have also been told to keep my dog under control when she was happily wandering along, ignoring all the people around, quite close to us...

Anyway, my tips for getting dogs to leave your ds alone are for him to stand still and look away from the dog, and keep his hands close to his body, but not move them upwards towards his face (some dogs might think that he had a treat in his hand).

I should also say that I thoroughly recommend any one with young children to get them to ask owners if they can stroke their dogs - we've been very strict with ds and have, occasionally, had owners saying no because their dog is a bit grumpy with children - better for the child to ask and occasionally get turned down, rather than presume and occasionally get snapped at.

i ducked out for a while as it all went a bit aibu....

just to duck back in: meg "I appreciate that, but it's quite scary when an unknown dog jumps up at/licks/knocks over our small son and doesn't seem to be under the control of his owner. Perhaps you could try to keep tighter control when children are around up here". PERFECT. can be deliveed firmly/stroppily/gently/collaboratively depending on the vibe but, in essence, spot on, I'd say.

and wynken - i feel your frustration re this "I had to explain again that I wasn't worried about her biting anyone, I just didn't think it was acceptable for her to approach people we don't know at all. It still didn't quite go in, she looked at me really strangely as if I was slightly mad." i do think there might be a bit of a generational thing - and also the fact that things like mn expose us to the other side more - so there are dog owners who behave like you, and get the point that it's just not on to let even the softest floppiest dog go bowling up to whoever he/she pleases

There are what seem like some fairly knowledgable and 'doggy' people on this board, and if even they think it is OK/not a problem for a dog to run up to another person or child they/you don't know, as dogs aren't robots, then I am not suprised there is so much bad feeling towards the dog owning public.

Aside from anything else, for your own dogs safety if it won't recall with 100% reliability it should be on the lead, as how do you know a person won't give it a kick which could potentially kill it.

I must be missing it - and tbh am too tired now to read whole thread - but can't see where anyone said it was okay for this to happen?

I always recall my dogs when I see someone coming, and do it extra quick if they have small children with them.

Night, all

Okay - I see it now: one person, way back in the thread. Two if you include somebody's dh as well.

Whilst trawling through all that I found fruitshoot's post which made me pmsl. Nice one, fruitshoots