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I think my dog is dying ..wish I knew how long this could go on for.

60 replies

brimfull · 14/02/2009 15:57

She's old and has liver disease ,vets and I have decided not to treat her.
Don't think she is in pain.
She is having real trouble getting up after her very long sleeps..looks lopsided as if she may have had a stroke.
I really don't know whether to take her to the vets as there is nothing they can really do except put her down.She hates going..gets really distressed.I just want her to die peacefully at home .

OP posts:
brimfull · 15/02/2009 19:37

thanks -you are right of course

I never thought it would be so hard.

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othersideofthefence · 15/02/2009 19:51

I'm so sorry ggirl. It is an awful time.

I think Madmentalbint's "Better a week too early, than a day too late" is exactly right. My rational was that I had spent many years making sure my dog had a happy life, so this was the last thing I could do for him.

I held my lovely old boy and talked to him as he was pts and it was one of the hardest things I have had to do. I just hope he felt loved and comfortable right to the very end.

I hope you are OK.

LucyEllensmummy · 15/02/2009 20:07

madmentalbint - better a week too early, than a day to late. Absolutely can't echo that enough.

ggirl - you are going to have to be very brave. When i lost my beloved Tiny (9stone rotweiller!) I felt much the same as you do now. He had kidney failure and we had tried a 24 hour drip to which he responded to really well - had gone from a state of collapse to a bouncy happy boy. Within twelve hours he was back to square one and i knew the time had come. I was a vet nurse and have seen this time and time again and knew that OK, i could buy him a week or two but having him on a drip (i could even have him at home to do it) but i knew i would be doing it for me. It was awful - I absolutely had to go to work that morning so i got my parents to dog sit and when i got home he was at the door to greet me. So, i thought ok, i'll take him over and see what the vet said. He said the same as me, you can buy him a week, maybe two - So there we were, stood there in the surgery - I was in tears, DH in tears, the nurse in tears, the VET in tears (I worked there remember so he loved tiny - everyone did). I looked down at my dog and he just looked at me as if to say "Let me go, I've had enough" and i chose to let my boy go. It was the worse decision i have ever had to make and i woke up that night screaming that i had done the wrong thing, I wanted that two weeks with him - BUT, i did totally the RIGHT thing for him. There was no way i could let him suffer anymore - poor dog, he just knew he felt terribly sick, was in pain and he just wanted to go to sleep. The end was peaceful, i cuddled him while he went to sleep and was able to stay on my own with him for a while afterwards - DP couldn't stay but came in afterwards to say goodbye.

Ggirl - letting our animals die with dignity is the best thing we can ever do for them and we owe it to them not to allow suffering. I know it sounds harsh but i know just where you are at right now - the best advice i can give you is listen to that feeling in the pit of your stomach, dont listen to your heart - it wont ever want to let go and don't listen to your head, it will try and rationalise, oh, but he had a good day today, maybe tomorrow will be good. I think its time to let go - your dog has had a lovely life with you and you clearly love him very much and he will know that and take that with him.

Wishing you strength xxx

fishie · 15/02/2009 20:13

lem that is a lovely post. and spot on.

ggirl you know really it is time or you wouldn't be posting. i left it on the late side, kept hoping he'd die in the night.

brimfull · 15/02/2009 21:34

god can't see for the tears

thanks I know you are right,you said it so well

have appt for 6 tomorrow

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bella29 · 15/02/2009 21:39

It is very hard but absolutely the right thing to do.

Thinking of you x

slackrunner · 15/02/2009 21:41

ggrl I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. One of our dogs is 14 and ageing fast - it makes me so sad.

Sending you strength for tomorrow.

BarcodeZebra · 15/02/2009 21:49

ggirl, here I am a 6ft 5in 45 year old bloke and I'm in tears at your predicament. I had the same quandary 4 years ago. We knew the vet very well - he'd been Ella's vet for 16 years - and he came out to the house to do the deed.

I'm very glad I did it even though it was awful at the time. She was unable to poo or wee without me holding her up and was frequently incontinent in her sleep. At 18+ I reckoned that she wasn't going to squeeze any more out of her life and the kindest thing for her was to let her go.

It will be tough for you tomorrow and my heart goes out to you. The best advice I can give is to be brave for your girl but let it all go once she's at peace. No one will mind and a really good weep will help you pick yourself up and get yourself home.

We'll all be thinking of you tomorrow.

mckenzie · 15/02/2009 21:49

ggirl, I'm really feeling your pain right now as I am in exactly the same situation with my cat, Tom. (In fact, some of the posters on this thread were giving me some great help and advice on friday night). I was convinced on friday night the going the pts option was for the best bvut Tom must have sensed my feelings as he has been delightful all weekend. No sickness, no messy accidents and even took himself into the garden when the back door was left open this afternoon. He didn't stay out for long but even so. He's also been pestering me for food (doesn't want to eat his nomral food though, just around my legs as soon as I open the fridge door [smile).
Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to go on about my cat so much, this is about Happy. Thinking of you GGirl.

BlueSapphire77 · 15/02/2009 21:52

Hope this helps www.bellaonline.com/articles/art15849.asp

And this is just lovely www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2Lq9FmjOAE

Konrad Lorenz, the great expert on animal behavior, said: "It is one of the cruelties of this world that the longevity of our dogs is shorter than ours." The reason behind this great sadness is that there is no another living animal that is so similar to us, that treats us with great affection, never betrays us, and loves us unconditionally.

This is a very sad time for you and one that i am not looking forward to
I hope you make the right decision for you and your dog. I'm really sorry, and my heart goes out to you.

brimfull · 15/02/2009 22:04

thank you everyone for your kind support
I truly appreciate it
Bluesapphire thanks for the links,so true.My dd 17 yrs is finding it very hard as she has grown up with Happy,in fact she is dd's substitute sibling as we couldn't have any more children...then 10 yrs later ds came as a surprise.
Anyway she has been such a joy as a pet,as they all are.She is known by all the neighbourhood kids as she was forever wandering out the front door in the summer and could always be found sitting with a group of local children.
I think it all comes down to keeping her dignity and I think I know it's the right time now.She has just tried to get up unsuccessfully and that's just not right.

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mother3 · 16/02/2009 08:42

i found my dog dead even though he was old and it was so sad.He was being treated by the vet cause of ear probs,.He was 16 and was loosing his balance and weeing all over the place.We love them.Its hard to part with them.We got him from battesea dogs home at 3 months old.He was a big part of our life.

MarmadukeScarlet · 16/02/2009 08:50

Thinking of you today. x

brimfull · 16/02/2009 20:13

well she's gone

the poor vet was unable to get a vein as she was given a sedative which made her really flat.After two attempts he said he'd need to get the anaesthetic trolley so we said our goodbyes then as she was so soundly asleep.

It really was the right time,she was so incontinent of faeces yesterday and today.She even came upstairs in the middle of the night...hasn't clmbed them in ages and woke me ..I think as she was upset at the mess everywhere..don't know.
AM glad it's all over tbh.
Thanks for all your kind support.

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bananapaddlepop · 16/02/2009 20:16

Oh ggirl - thinking of you and your family.
We're a family of dog lovers.

Take care.

othersideofthefence · 16/02/2009 20:33

I'm so sorry ggirl.

What a lucky dog Happy was to have lived with someone who loved her so much.

poopscoop · 16/02/2009 20:38

so sorry to read this ggirl. have followed this from yesterdy and didnt know what words to say, so been thinking of you since. hope you are ok x

OrmIrian · 16/02/2009 20:41

Oh ggirl .

It hurts.

CarGirl · 16/02/2009 20:41

So sorry for your loss x

Haribosmummy · 16/02/2009 20:47

ggirl.

So sorry, but I think sometimes the animals we've cared for all our lives need us most to make the right decision to do the right thing by them at the hardest time of all.

I think her climbing the stairs was a sign that it was time.. her last act, if you will.

Please do remember that dogs live much more simply than we do. They live to love, and the fact that Happy was loved means more to her than us humans can ever comprehend.

She will be in peace now.. at her own rainbow.

Hm xx

slackrunner · 16/02/2009 20:54

So sorry ggirl

mckenzie · 16/02/2009 21:11

so sorry ggirl . Rest in peace Happy.

newpup · 16/02/2009 21:42

So sorry ggirl.

Hope it is some comfort for you, to know that you did what she needed you to do at the end.

You made the best decision for her.

fishie · 16/02/2009 21:58

ggirl i am so sorry. that horrible feeling of no dog is dreadful.

ilovemydogandMrObama · 16/02/2009 22:13

So sorry. Sounds like it was time.