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Original poster

Thats it, I am done, if DH wants to keep the dogs he can sort them out. (WARNING - ranty and swearing)

66 replies

DustyTv · 14/01/2009 09:55

The bloody dogs, again have messed all over the bathroom and kitchen (old house, bathroom downstairs). I am sick of it. I have done all I can to sort it but it is not working. MIL took the dogs for a week over Xmas for us and I have to say it was bloody lovely. When she asked if I had missed them I told her the truth which was no.

DH missed them, he wants to keep them, but he wont do any of the work to keep them. Yes he will clean up when they mess, but that is beside the point. He will feed them, but it is down to me to walk them as he wont.

I have had them at the vets to see if they have anything medically wrong and they don't. I have been to training with them again, dog behaviorist, but they were no help.

I told DH that he is going to have to help me sort them out and get back to basics with house training, but he just said no, and that we should expect it when we leave them on their own.

No we bloody well should not expect it, they are left at most for 4 hours occasionally, but for about and hour most days, while I am out with DD. They go all through the night without messing, why not in the day.

I have decided that when he gets home tonight I am telling him, that if he wants to keep the dogs then he is going to have to sort them or I will find them new homes.

He wants to keep them, I do not.
It is not hygienic to have them mess in the house. We have a nearly 14mo DD and I am pg with lo number 2, I do not want this mess. I have enough on my plate.

Sorry for the rant, but feel better getting it out.

OP posts:
Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 11:09

I have calmed down now and feel better for getting this out and feel better for NOT sending DH the long email I had written in anger.

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LisaLessLumpy · 14/01/2009 11:11

I don't blame you one little bit. on your behalf with DH. As you say, if he wants them he should look after them, you will have enough to do once your second lo comes along.

Oggsdog · 14/01/2009 11:15

I think the dogs would be better off if you re-homed them.
You don't like them (and they will be aware of this) and dh won't care for them. They are probably picking up on the atmosphere.

Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 11:19

I do like them and love them to bits but it has gone too far for me now.

It isn't fair on them and it isn't fair on DD or myself.

You are right that they are probably picking up on my bad mood and atmosphere.

They would be better off with someone who can give them more than I can offer at the minute.

MIL has said before that she would love to have them, but that was a few years ago when MIL was not working. I will ask her again but I don't think she can as her and FIL both work full time now.

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pinkblossom · 14/01/2009 11:21

What breed are they Dusty?

GrimmaTheNome · 14/01/2009 11:23

How big are your dogs? Would it be feasible to crate them when you're out?

On a purely practical level... when you say 'mess' do you mean poop or weeing or tearing the house down? If the former... well, my dog has had a couple of accidents when left, but because he's on a good dry dog food, its really hard lumps and so its easy to clean up.

Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 11:26

Both cross breeds.

Chyna is a JR X Staffy and is the most beautiful shimmering white colour. She is a softie. We have had her from her being 8 weeks old. She will be 9 in June.

Molly is a Collie X Doberman and is the most skittish thing ever, she is so gentle though. We got her as a rescue dog when she was approx 18mo, she will be 8 this year.

I know I sound like I don't like them, I do, it is just my priorities have changed. I have to think of DD and my self while I am pg and then a newborn. It is just not hygienic.

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Oggsdog · 14/01/2009 11:26

But if dh won't walk them how on earth will you manage when you have the baby?

How old are they?
Did you get them both at the same time?
How long have you had them?

Dropdeadfred · 14/01/2009 11:29

what reason does he give for not walking them???

GrimmaTheNome · 14/01/2009 11:30

Does your MIL live locally - would some sort of share work?

If your DH wants them he really ought to walk them - at least at weekends. Perhaps you may have to let these go, but could consider something smaller in future which doesn't need regular walks (and which you could crate-train from day 1)

Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 11:31

It is peeing and pooing, they do it when I am in the house as well as when I am out of the house. They do not do it when DH is in the house so obviously I am doing something wrong.
They both changed when we brought DD home, but they seemed to get over it IYSWIM.

I generally walk them twice a day but try to get 3 times a day if I can. DH wont walk them at all, so if I am ill of too busy etc they don't get a walk unless I ring my brother. My brother will walk them for me when he walks his own dog, but he doesn't live close (10 min drive away) so it is not always feesible. Bro is self employed so is not always guaranteed to be available.

They are not massive dogs, I have no room for a crate each for them.

The only other option I can think of is getting a kennel and keeping them outside in the day and bringing them in at night. But that is still not fair on them as they are inside dogs.

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TsarChasm · 14/01/2009 11:32

I am not a dog fan and so really understand where you are coming from with this. Re-home them because it sounds like you and the dogs are all unhappy.

We used to have two cats years ago (I like moggies), but when my dd was a baby and I was also pregnant again with dt's I became very anti pets altogether.

Our cats used to mess indoors a bit - one was old and the other just did it out of habit.

It was never nice, but pre dc I used to just deal with it. Once the babies started arriving though it just drove me completely insane and I kept worrying constantly about the hygiene aspect of it in connection with the baby and my pregnancy.

I wonder if it is almost an inbuilt instict for some women to feel like that when they are pregnant. Obviously it is making you terribly unhappy and anxious though. I felt the same. You need to sort this though because it's a very strong feeling that you can't help.

Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 11:34

He doesn't give a reason for not walking them, I ask him too walk them, he says he will do it later and it doesn't get done unless I do it. I will not nag him like a child.

I think if he could get up half an hour earlier before work, he could walk them then and when he gets home from work. I can walk them once in the day, that would be fair.

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girlandboy · 14/01/2009 11:39

Kennel!

Dh's dog lived in a kennel. It came in in the day, but if the family was out then the dog went out too. At night it slept in the kennel, with a hot water bottle if it was cold.

It was fine, no problems and soon got used to it.

Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 11:39

TsarChasm, that is it, it feels in built I sometimes cannot bear the thought of them. Not their fault at all, but my priorities are different now.

MIL lives about 15 min drive away, FIL works 4 on 4 off and MIL has said that if I want when FIL's 4 days off are in a week (not at the weekend) they will have the dogs then. I think that would be good, but it would only work out like that every few weeks or so. But I would love a week on week off sort of thing.

The oddest thing is they do not so this anywhere else, not at MIL's, not at my mums, not at my bros, just here. i think they can sense the change in me.

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Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 12:07

DH has just rang me and I told him we need to talk about the dogs when he gets home tonight, he just said that we are not getting rid of them . Alright for him to say I do most of the work with them.
I'm the one that slipped and fell arse over shit on their piss earlier . I had only just had a shower as well, so I had to have another after that.

I just said okay then but they are all of your responsibility.
He said we will talk about it tonight.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

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PoloPlayingMummy · 14/01/2009 12:08

For the sake of you, the children and the dogs it may make sense to re-home them if your DH won't help. If he really wants to keep them, he'll have to pull his thumb out because you will have your hands full with 2 young children.

I'd go potty if our dog messed in the house, especially if i was there- have they always done this? or is it a recent change? If it's recent it is likely that they are upset about something that has changed.

girlandboy · 14/01/2009 12:11

Can't you just shove them in the garden when you're on your own in the house (or going out for that matter)??? Or have you got a garage??

You can tell I'm not a dog lover can't you!

There is no way that I would put up with dogs messing in my house. If they can't be house-trained when they are with you, then I'm afraid they would be banished to the great outdoors!

Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 12:12

It is a recent thing, well pretty much started to happen about 3-4 months after we had brought DD home. Their noses have been put out of joint, as my mum says. They are no longer the centre of attention around here. Not their fault that they don't like it but hell they don't have it bad.

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Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 12:15

I would leave them outside but at the minute it is too cold without a kennel, especially since neither of them are used to it, they are both indoor dogs.

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Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 12:17

I did flip out I am embarrassed to say that I shouted and screamed like a fish wife when I had slipped in the pee I am surprised DD didn't wake up.

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bollockbrain · 14/01/2009 12:19

how long are the walks you take them on in the day? A couple of 'round the blocks' is not enough (not saying that is what you do do) but maybe get them out on a hell of a long run first thing and knacker them out so they are ready for a nice long snooze during the day.

If they are clean at night it must be something to do with the day time routine. Has the routine changed since you had DD. Did they go out for longer periods before you had her.

I take mine for one long one each morning, sometimes they get a 2nd one if the weather is fine or time permits and then they settle down.

normansmum · 14/01/2009 12:27

I'm very sympathetic to you. we also have an elderly dog (now 12) and while I love it to bits its also the bane of my life. And I have to look after him. he's DH dog from before me and kids. I think they pick up on you being pregnant and know that you won't challenge them drag them back into line the same way.

I would go and get a kennel(or 2) and put them in it for a few hours each day. they won't freeze if you line it with blankets.

I think you need to work out if you can dominate them, is there any other anti social behaviour out of them towards you or DD. does sound as though they think they can get away with this behaviour with you.

I've found when having numerous rants about the dog to DH that stressing that DS can pick up infections from dog poo has helped.

He's had to resign himself to dog being outside more often.

GrimmaTheNome · 14/01/2009 12:29

I'm not suprised you flipped over that. Slipping in dog wee must be most unpleasant, esp when you're PG. Not good at all.

I was thinking about this when I was out walking my dog just now. Your pair would probably prefer being banished to a kennel while you're out, rather than being rehomed. After all, they've got each other for warmth and company. Take up your MILs offer of 'respite care' too. Any chance she can give your DH a good talking-to, or would that be counter-productive?

Original poster
DustyTv · 14/01/2009 12:33

They did get longer before DD, even when I was pregnant. I had more time then lol.

They get a 30ish minute walk at the park (the park is literally across the road from us) in the morning before DH goes to work, so I don't have to take DD with me.

I try to get them a walk in the afternoon, but it is not always possible, I would say in a week they get an afternoon walk about 4 times out of 7.

Then I walk them in the evening either round the block a few times if the park is shut or round the park if it is still open.

At the weekend they get 2 walks a day, as I am usually knackered by then but it is easier as DH is here with DD.

I feel awful cos I know they should have loads more walks but I just do not have the energy or time a lot of the time.

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