Starting to get to breaking point with my cat(s)

[chloemegjess]

Have had non stop problems with my cat from the start. I have 3 cats, who I love very much (chloe, meg and jess hence name). They are all about 3 years old roughly. Chloe is Persian and the others are just normal cats.

I am pretty sure Chloe is the one with the problems but can't be 100% as don't often see it.

Basically, had a lot of problems with her weeing on the carpet, and somtimes poo too. We used to have litter trays but it got so stupid, had to have 6 or so different ones because she was so fussy about it, had to clean it everytime one of them did a wee or poo which restricted how long we could go out for etc and the cats would fight etc over them and we would STILL have wee on the carpet. When I started to register as a CM we tried them without the trays and the problem just went away. All 3 cats went in the garden (cat flap), the fighting stopped and so did the wee on carpet.

Then, the last few months, it has started up again. I first thought it was because of the cold, but I often see them out playing/lying in the garden.

Have tried everything.

Have been out all day and have come home to wee and poo everywhere. The bath has wee all over it, all over DDs toys, Bath mat has wee on and there is poo in the corner, in the dining room/playroom there is poo on the cat bed and wee on carpet.

I just can't do this anymore. I love them to bits but this isn't working for anybody.

I was thinking about getting Chloe re-homed but I am worried that she will just have the same problem else where and keep getting passed on from owner to owner . I think she would much prefer to be an only cat and this might be where the problems lie as we seem to have tried everything else.

you can just plug the diffuser into the area she spends most time. A refill will last approx 28days. They don't harm anything, nor affect anything/one not a cat

We have had a lot of success at work with Zylkene too - some cats it alone is enough, others with the feliway too

Had a look at another few sites (Vetcentric was one)and seen that first you need to determine is it urinating or marking, you can tell if it's marking if it's mainly on vertical surfaces or by observing posture. I don't think yours sounds like marking but if it is the Feliway turns the spot from a marking spot to a face-rubbing spot.
Also, providing more vertical spaces can make the cat more at ease by letting it get away from perceived threats. Also, as you suggest, making separate spaces for it ie upstairs.
Getting the vet to check out for underlying problems is another pointer.

Are they the tablets nutterly? That site has them for £27 for 100 tablets. What do you have to do with them? Do you mix them with the food? Never had to give anything like that to the cats before.

COuld the food be a problem? They just have wiskas at the moment, because that is the only one they would all eat, but she was on science plan when I first got her - maybe I should start forking out for that again?

sorry x posted

I really don't think she is marking. She just sits and squats and has several places in the house she does it. She does a whole wee rather than spraying or anything.

Just to put another point of view forward- it's not nice but if it were me I would rehome chloe. The reason I say this is I just had to rehome two kittens I had had taken on, who were constantly pooing everywhere and occasionally weeing too, as well as being destructive etc - I too have a 1 yr old and as we're planning another at some point in the next year, I really felt I couldn't take any more. I wasn't enjoying having them any more at all, and quite honestly it was wonderful when we found them a good home.

My house is now poo free and I'm so much calmer (hated being on the lookout for accidents all the time in case baby found them before I did- I was constantly tense!) On of the final straws was when one of them peed in ds's pushchair - you just don't need that with a baby around. Also (I'm sure you already know this) you have to be careful around cat poo during pregnancy, so I think if you're pretty sure it's Chloe making all the mess I'd rehome her and halve your stress.

James - thanks for that. It is definatly still an option. I just worry that she will do the same in the next home and get passed around which is really sad. I think the poo might have been a one off, maybe somebody had an upset tummy as we haven't had anything since yesterday morning, so might have been a 24 hour thing. But the wee is long term so the main issue. She has never done anything on DDs stuff, except if it happened to bewhere she would wee. Ie, DDs vest was in the bath yesterday, as I had rinsed it out after an accident and it was waiting to go in the wash, and she wee'd on it, but she did it all over the bath and has done before, so I think it was the bath, rather than DDs vest iyswim.

Its hard as I just love the cat too much! She is so usual for a cat, and I doubt we would ever get a cat like her again. She is lovely in every other way, is so friendly, is really good with kids etc. If she didn't wee she would be the most perfect cat, I can't think of another fault. Except maybe that she needs brushing because she is semi long hair, but I don't mind that.

We are in the process of moving furniture upstairs as we have all switched rooms in preparation for the new baby. DH starts his days off tomorrow (he does shifts) so we can get it a bit sorted and give her a try up there. At the mo, there are piles of clothes etc everywhere as the wardrobes are all moving so wouldn't want to risk letting her up there for a few days till I can sort it a bit. Will start on it today if DD will let me.

Maybe we can give the upstairs plan a go and that could be her last chance or something.

Any recomendations as to how to go about it? What litter is the best?

Out of the litter trays we have in the loft, we have: covered trays with lids, normal litter trays and a baby bath we used to use as a litter tray (was bigger and deeper than anything we could find in the pet shops - but still love enough for them to get in). Trying to work out which would be best. Although I have to find them first! Going to order the feliway defuser etc now. With everything else it is coming to just under £100! But hopefully it will be worth it if it helps to solve the problem.

our last cat did this unless we restricted his territory within the house. it sounds mad but only allowing him in certain areas made him feel less dominant and he therefore didn't do it, if we forgot to close the kitchen door at night though you could lamost garuantee he'd do it again.

it's called middening and is a form of territorialism.

try keeping them to a smaller area of the house for a little while and seeing if there's any improvement

The only ways of restrictin them is either to shut them in the kitchen, which I feel is far too small and they would end up all over the work surfaces as a result. It is a small kitchen and 3 cats. OR let them have the back room as well, but shut out off the front part of the house. We did this when DD was tiny so I could take my eyes off her without worrying that the cats would sit on her while she was sleeping etc. It did work ok but they didn't get anywhere near the amount of attention they do now and they were not as happy. At the mo, they are always sitting on our laps etc in the evening.

Would be interested to know what people think about taking her upstairs to live up there and the other 2 stay down here, and her have a litter tray, as have mentioned it a few times but haven't had much feedback on that particular idea? Just so I know if I am being silly or not!

Sorry for hijack!

It depends how close she is to the other two cats. I have a pair of kittens who are brother and sister and if the boy wanders off, the girl mews desperately until she finds him. If your three are close, that might be a problem.

slayeratte, we live in rented accomodation and have done for the last 6 years during which time we've had up to 7 cats at a time.

no option to put in a flap... we have a tray for emergancy use when there's no one to let them out (although see my current thread and you'll see that's backfiring with the current lot ) and they know to ask to go out when they want.

they always come to the same window to get in so we just take a glance every now and again when they're out and let them in if they turn up.

CMJ.... i'm not sure i'd be comfortable having a cat with toilet issues upstairs... and i speak from experiance of having to wash soiled duvets in the bath and waking up at 4am to hear a cat pissing on the floor... or worse on the bed with us in it

I had a cat like this once. She was also a sensitive, long haired Persian type. Adorable, but any stress made her incontinent. And she was scared of the other cat we had.

We tried all the things you have tried but really nothing solved it for good. Eventually she went to live with my sister, who had similar problems with her even though it was a quieter house, and then to live with my sister's mother in law, who adored her but whose life was dominated for the next few years by this needy, adorable cat poohing and weeing all over the place.

I felt quite guilty for passing her on to soft-hearted people, quite honestly I'd get rid of a cat like this and not tolerate it again. At the time, you get used to it, moving litter trays around and cleaning up after them, but really, it's terribly stressful and especially if you have small children, it's just not sensible.

Also, it will put parents off if you are childminding. Smells or other signs of old cat pooh and wee aren't what parents want for their babies and toddlers.

Fennel mine is persian too, I think they are a bit prone to this.

I also know this is an off put with childminding, which is another reason we want it sorted.

Slayer - as I have said in other posts, she is not close to the other 2 cats, and I think they are what is causing the problem, which is why I am thinking about seperating them. They do not do anything wrong to her, but she is very deffensive off them and snaps at them for no apparent reason. And one of the other cats, Jess gets worried when there is poo or wee around, and tries desperatly to cover it up, but we have seen that it is the other one doing it, and her coming along after.

I would take her to the vet first and foremost, have her checked out.

The idea of restricting her territory sounds quite a good one, certainly to see if it is just her and she may well be happier if she has her own territory.

Talk to the vet. Our cat started doing this (but she was 16) and it turned out to be diabetes - eminently treatable, so don't panic. Have a good chat to the vet and explore all the options. Rehoming is a last resort really. Good luck.

Slayerette, they just miaouw to be let out. If I'm out all day they take their chances to be in or out. If I'm off to bed I'll call the outdoor one and it usually comes. If not I think it finds somewhere else - I suspect there's a bit of 6-Dinner-Sid stuff going on (do you know that kiddie's book) as I've caught the treacherous thing asking to be let in someone else's kitchen window.
ClhoeMegJess - I'm watching your best cat litter thread with interest! Gotta get that OKO+ stuff - or a life...

Lol. Hoping to get lots done upstairs tomorrow so we can get her moved up there. Maybe a new cat bed etc too. Although I am sure she would find something else more comfy!

Have ordered 3 feliway difussers too, one for each bedroom upstairs. I already have the spray so will use that as well. Just worried about my bed and DDs cot! Don't want them to be wee'd on! I have an old waterproof tablecloth thing that I used last year incase my waters broke in bed (which they did) as I really don't want Wee on the matress. Not sure about what to do about DDs cot though. I think I am going to shut the cat out of her room when DD is asleep in there, at least until we get the new camera monitor (ours is broken but should still be under garantee) Just incase she goes in there with DD.

Going to have to get the cat litter trays out the loft too. Want to try the Crystal litter stuff so it doesn't smell, but worried incase she doesn't use it! Might have to have a normal litter tray as well. She might eventually, in the summer learn to get out of the window in the spare room, which leads onto the roof of the kitchen, so isn't very high to jump out of, but she is quite a lazy cat. And if she is asking to go downstairs, we will probably let her, which means she can then go out the cat flap.

Hi, chloemegjess. you seem to be doing everything you can- good luck with that! Some of my clients have had good success with the feliway diffusers, but sadly some cats just don't seem to settle into multi-cat environments, and do need to be rehomed . we adopted a cat 9on a trial basis) from the surgery via the CPL, and he started pooing and peeing, and hiding away- it soon became apparent he wasn't happy in our child-ridden, dog-ridden house, so he sadly had to go back, whereupon he was rehomed to an elderly couple with no other animals, and has been fine since. I do think with cats this kind of behaviour can be a marker for stress, and it isn't always easy to fix, but I hope you have some success

It bugs me as people (like my Mum and a certain family friend) seem to think that it is because the cats don't get get enough attention (they get plenty IMO, more than people who work full time etc and they spend most evenings on laps) and when we had the cat litters they always said it was because we didn't clean them out enough. But they are just making assumtions, because it was smelly but this wasn't the case at all and we were doing a rediculous amount of litter cleaning, it was taking over! We would plan our day around it FFS!

But hopefully if there is a litter tray just for the one cat, it will be easy to keep super clean, and she won't be as fussy as it will be just hers. Think we will buy the Crystal stuff, but also have a tray of normal clumping stuff incase she doesn't get on with it. She might even prefer to have 2 for herself, as I know some cats like to use one for poo and one for wee, which wasn't possible with all cats using them.

Does anybody have any recomendations for making moving her upstairs? Me and DH have got a "deal" going that we will try and move her upstairs, but it is her last chance, he wanted her re-homed a long time ago when the problem first started. So I want to try everything to make sure it is a success. Also, if she wees once or twice on the carpet upstairs, it will be very hard to stop her doing it again and very hard to work out if she is still doing it. We decided not to bother getting her a new cat bed, as she never uses them anyway, but will create a little area with for her to sleep in if she wants to, with a comfy blanket or something, although I am sure she will use somewhere else instead.

She is sitting with me now, and looking at her I don't know how I will ever be able to give her away . I really hope she takes to this. Upstairs is big enough for her really, it is just wheather or not she understands it all. Although I am also worried about what we will do when the new baby arrives, but that is 4 months away so will see how this goes first. We might end up having to shut her out of the bedroom when the baby is in there.

It is honestly nothing to do with the cat not getting enough attention- it is probably more to do with the other cats, tbh, and nothing you could do/ have done about that. Hopefully if she is upstairs in territory that isn't shared with the others, she might settle down, relax and stop this behaviour. Fingers crossed for you!

I know it isn't the attention thing, but it is annoying when other people judge you and assume that it is your fault.

You obviously haven't been on MN very long if you get upset at people judging you, chloemegjess!

You're moving mountains for your beloved cat, much more than most people would do, so I really, really hope it works out for you.

Keeping everything crossed

I have been on Mumsnet for a couple of years. I don't get offended by people on here judging me, but when it is my mum and close friend, that is when I get annoyed as they can't see how much I am doing for them.

My male cat does this when he is upset. He tends to go back to the same places so if I can I make those places inaccesable to him by moving furniture over them. I also use citrus disinfectant sprays to clean up after him as cats don't like the smell of citrus.

Some tips I got from my vets that helps him is to use the pheromone plugs, make sure he has somewhere that only he can go and if you get any new furniture etc in the house rub a damp tea towel onto the cat and then onto the new thing, it will leave a smell of the cat that only the cat can smell.