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Please can we have a "how daft is your pet" thread?

44 replies

JacksFirstChristmasMama · 04/12/2008 02:19

I read the funniest thread today, titled "how daft is your husband". After reading it out loud to my DH we POSL. Then our cat did something dumb. DH suggested a "how dumb is your pet" thread, in honour of her and today's thread.

So here goes:
Our cat, Nemo, has

  • fallen in the bath. I was in it at the time. While she no doubt suffered emotional trauma in her near-drowning incident, I will bear the scars on my legs from her frantically-whirling claws for the rest of my life.
  • has set her tail on fire, jumping on the coffee table and walking past a lit candle

-fallen off the divider between the kitchen and the stairs going down to the basement. Open-concept kitchen. Partition around edge of kitchen, which backs onto stairs. Good place to put decorative items such as trailing plants. Not a good place for a cat to jump up on, especially one that does not have good balance. We look over the divider - cat stares up from halfway down the stairs... picks herself up, starts washing herself, pretending she meant to take the elevator down.

  • has knocked over a lit candle, managing not to set tail on fire this time, but spilled candle wax all over self. Self having lovely, long fur... self needing to be shaved to get rid of candle wax. Cue very stupid looking cat.

Your turn.

OP posts:
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 04/12/2008 02:27

Every summer my cat Maximus attempts to jump through the living room window at least once a day every day. every single time he gets stuck. Will he never learn? I don't like having to climb up all my furniture to rescue him while he panicks and mews pathetically.

ChipButty · 04/12/2008 04:36

Molly's cat food bowl is in the back hallway just outside the kitchen. Every time we leave the kitchen carrying anything, she thinks it's food - it could be a cup of tea or a bag of rubbish, she still thinks we are going to give her something to eat!

However, the most stupid thing she ever did was to approach my DH whilst he was practising his golf swing once. A bloodied and broken nose, £300+ in vet's bills and a 2 night stay at the vet's and she still tries to twine around his legs when he is lining up a shot...

BouncingTinsel · 04/12/2008 05:19

LOL!

My cat Barty keeps getting stuck in the child gate across our living room door. He can get through most of the gap, but there is one gap narrower than the others and he keeps going to that one! He often waits for us to open the gate despite the fact he knows darn well e can jump over it (has done it several times). So not only is he stupid he is fricking lazy too!

But he is lovely though!

BellaKissedSanta · 04/12/2008 09:15

All my pets are very sensible

My lab puppy spent about an hour yesterday poking a partly deflated football to make a dent in it. He would then stand and wait for it to spring back into shape, whereupon he would leap on it and make a dent again, much to his obvious joy

oopsadaisyangel · 04/12/2008 09:22

My pup is too lazy to be daft - all she wants to do is sleep!! She's so bloody lazy that when DH was shouting on her to go her walk this morning instead of walking down the stairs she decided to slide down on her belly all the while her tongue was hanging out

BellaKissedSanta · 04/12/2008 11:35

pmsl oopsadaisy

suwoodolf · 04/12/2008 11:39

My cat Clayton has strange tastes in food. If we give him the scraps of roast dinner, he will leave the chicken and eat the mashed carrot and swede. He goes mad for broccoli and has nicked it off the worktop (at least 3 florets at a time). Also if DH has treated himself to a chippy, Clayton leaves the fish but scoffs all the mushy peas. Weirdo!

BellaKissedSanta · 04/12/2008 11:40

He's a five-a-day feline

TheInvisibleManDidItWithSanta · 04/12/2008 11:51

Lol.

Jacks, our younger cat regularly falls into the bath. Normally as the water is draining though, and doing the wee whirlpool thing at the plug. She's facinated with this and always tries to catch it.

Not one of the cats I have now, but the one I had growing always forgot she could not run through the patio doors when they were closed. Atleast twice a day she would see a bird or something in the garden, run full speed through the living room and BOUNCE off the glass.

Love it when cats do that sit down and lick thing after they've done something silly, then look at you as if it say 'What? That? Oh, I meant that'

JustKeepSingingCarols · 04/12/2008 11:58

Cats:

  • falling in bath - check
  • falling off bannisters onto stairs - check
  • setting whiskers alight from candle sniffing - check
  • waiting for stairgates to be opened - check

Also:

  • they sit outside and wail until let in even though they have a cat flap
  • they insist on sleeping on DCs beds (when they're not there) which inevitably results in being roused from said sleep by a screaming-in-delight toddler "CAAAAATTTT" even though there are numerous other comfy spots to sleep!

Previous pet (a spaniel) used to drop his toy into the swimming pool (lived abroad) then race around it howling because it had sunk...

JacksFirstChristmasMama · 04/12/2008 16:15

Bumping for daytime contributions... I started this post in the wee hours.

OP posts:
Lotster · 04/12/2008 16:50

My border terrier sometimes goes out of his dogflap completely forgets it's there and sits shivering by the back door...

Lotster · 04/12/2008 16:51

I wouldn't mind but it's been there for three years!

(the flap, not the dog. I'm not a sadist)

BellaKissedSanta · 04/12/2008 16:52

Aw, bless

HoHoHotcrossbunny · 04/12/2008 16:56

My otterhound cut his head open chasing my sister's cat out of the catflap..... twice

He sits at the top of the stairs with his bum on the top step and his front feet on the stair below. He looks very cute!

JacksFirstChristmasMama · 04/12/2008 21:56

Ahhh... another beautiful story to add to my cat's growing reputation for idiocy... I was changing BabyJ's diaper (a very pooey, very stinky diaper), did the "roll it up and secure it with the flaps" thing but accidentally dropped it (still closed) while trying to keep BabyJ from leaping head-first off the changing table... because he saw the cat!! Cat initially retreats but then sees the rolled up diaper, and you can just see the (admittedly very dim) lightbulb go off above her head - "what is it, let's bat at it and chase it!!!". Between keeping DS from falling on his head and keeping the diaper from the cat I obviously chose to prevent the three-foot fall from the change table... and by the time I had the fresh diaper done up and ran after the stupid feline (carrying a struggling DS who was screaming in delight at being hauled along like a football), the cat had chased the rolled up diaper down the stairs... at the bottom of which the diaper opened... which prompted the cat to leap upon it face first.

Cue a feline shriek when she got a face full of baby shit.

Cue me and DH pissing ourselves laughing at the cat trying to get baby poo off her face with her paws trying not to lick her paws.

Interestingly, the diaper opened so that none of the contents splattered either wall or crapet. How lucky are we?

We weren't so amused a few minutes later when we finally decided that we were going to have to hold the cat under the kitchen faucet to get baby poo off her face.

The cat had a very bad day.

OP posts:
JustKeepSingingCarols · 05/12/2008 08:53

Oh that made my laugh so hard
lucky about the 'crap'-et and walls though!!

JacksFirstChristmasMama · 05/12/2008 16:05

She's such an idiot...
I didn't even see the "crap-et" typo!! LOL!!!!!!
Well, the day is young (it's only 8:05 am in my time zone), let's see what crass stupidity she commits today...

OP posts:
Liney15 · 06/12/2008 14:41

Reading these has made me laugh.

My beautiful and usually intelligent Asian/Burmese Cross was locked out the kitchen whilst my DH was painting it. Cue the cat getting in and flying straight into the paint tray, at this point it was hard to see what didn't get painted - kitchen floor, worksurfaces, walls, DH......and of course the cat was now a lovely shade of white.

DH had to grab the cat and dump her under the cold shower to remove the paint - she was even less keen on this than the paint. Dh still bears the scars where she tried to escape from the cold water.

JacksFirstChristmasMama · 09/12/2008 03:36

New instalment on my cat's stupidty - today she got lost under the bed covers. Literally twisted herself in the top sheet, to the point where she could not move, only "meeee-eeeeuuuw" pitifully...

OP posts:
Clydesdaleclopper · 11/12/2008 19:20

Our rescue Grand Basset Griffon Vendeen trips over her own ears when out for a walk.

TheVirginGoober · 11/12/2008 19:21

My big, brave, Boxer bitch is frightenned of ladders!

DECKmuppetWITHBOUGHSOFHOLLY · 11/12/2008 19:22

my rescue black lab is cared of lamb...

He hides at the top of the house shaking whenever we cook it.

My jack russell wees in his bed and sits in it...

rislip · 11/12/2008 19:25

My 8 stone german shepherd male dog is frightened of a cut down stump in my neighbours garden.

GrimmaTheNome · 11/12/2008 19:27

My dog isn't daft. Today he sat when I told him to in French.