Please help, my dog bit someone

[Lisa231186]

I can’t believe I’m even having to think about this let alone write for advice but I just don’t know who to turn to and I’m so lost.
Some back story. I have a 3 year old male (neutered) Alaskan malamute. I know everyone says “my dog has never shown aggression” but hand on heart he never has. In fact, he’s sort of known locally for being so friendly and a bit of a dope if I’m honest. He loves people, he’s a fluffy sort of handsome dog and gets a lot of attention. And absolutely loves it. Loves being petted. Has only ever been very docile. We have 3 children who adore him and and who he adores. I’ve always been sensible as I know he’s a dog at the end of the day but never has any fear or worry of him being touched, petted, played with. When people have asked to to pet him I have always said yes he’s friendly. It’s hard to put into this short space just how friendly he’s been until now.
So, on Thursday, I was walking him (it’s usually me who walks him) he was on lead and just walking calmly next to me. We saw our local postman (who knows us and my dog by name) and he said hello (our names) we went to say hi. He was petting bear, and he sort of lent over him and got down to his face. And out of nowhere it felt, my dog bit his lip. I pulled him back as quickly as I could but it was too late. My dog didn’t pull to get back he just sat there didn’t show any further aggression. I know it was still aggression in first instance just want to explain he wasn’t sort of savaging him.
I immediately called 999 myself, the operator asked me what the dog was doing now and he was sat there like nothing had happened. I was a wreck. I’ve never felt so bad for someone and so guilty. They told me to secure him. I live a few minutes away from where it happened so I ran back and secured him in the house and went back to help the postman. By now people had come out of their houses understandably and it was a bit of a witch hunt of me being told what have I done etc. I was really crying and trying to help the post man who kept saying “it was an accident” but I felt like no it was my dog and this is my fault. Anyway, he really didn’t want an ambulance but he called his friend to take him to a local walk in centre and I waited for him to go. I called 101 when I got back and said I need to report what has happened. They told me it had already been done by the 999 operator and I needed to wait to hear from a police officer. I had a call around an hour later from a police lady. She explained she had spoken to the postman, a witness and the dog warden and they had decided it was an accident, not an attack. And that there would be no further action. She said the postman had been adamant he wanted no further action.
But I didn’t feel relieved, I am struggling to explain how I feel. I just never in a million years thought this could happen. I guess I feel like the trust is gone. And with having kids I think I’m catastrophising thinking what if it was a child, one my children, what if he was more badly injured and again, I just never thought this would ever be something he would do.
Since then, I’ve contacted the dogs trust for advice. I’ve booked him in for a vet appointment which is tomorrow. Explained to them, they were shocked too as they know him and couldn’t believe it as he’s always been so gentle and sweet even when having not so nice things done. I’ve also paid for a dog behaviourist to come to my home on Tuesday. He’s been great, he put my mind at rest a bit and has said it could be a totally isolated incident but of course before he meets us doesn’t know a lot more than about what happened Thursday. Both the vets and dog behaviourist have said try not to treat him too differently. But that’s the thing I can’t. I’m so worried, I’m on edge, anxious. I feel so scared of him even being around my kids now. I’ve been getting up at 5:30 to walk him before anyone is around and taking him out late at night in the evening. I keep saying it but I just can’t explain this feeling I have, I’ve never had it before. It’s like I just can’t believe he did it and I’m so fearful that it could happen again.
We’ve explained to the kids (the vet gave us this advice) that he has been feeling under the weather so to give him more space than usual. But even with them doing that, I’m just so on edge. My partner thinks I’m in a bit of shock from the whole thing. I don’t know, all I know is it feels like he was my best friend (he is a mummy’s boy we spend all our time together) to me now, if I’m honest a bit scared of.

I remember seeing videos of the OP’s breed of dog, with babies and children, and was horrified at the “ aaaaah, so sweet” comments

And you are an idiot who braves being rude and unkind just because you are safely behind a screen and keyboard.

I completely agree with this. I do blame myself as I think somewhere I’ve almost forgotten that he is simply an animal and been far too complacent of strangers petting him etc. something I’ll not forgive myself for. And regardless of what we do moving forward will change completely.

@redkite27 I disagree. I do a lot of re-homing with Goldies that have bitten. Some have even bitten children on the face. We always try and rehome rather than advocate PTS. Why? Because most of the time its because the parents/owners of the dog cant be arsed to teach their children not to get in a dogs face. Most people would say they should be destroyed but why should they be when it's 100% on the child and parent? In the last 5+ years of helping re-home dogs with a bite history, none of them have bitten in their new homes.

The context of the bite is what matters.

If some idiot gets in a dogs face, or tugs on a dog, or takes something away from a guarding dog, they are going to get bitten. And that sort of bite is completely understandable.

In OP's case, it sounds like the postman got in her dogs face. Unfortunately, she's learnt the hard way that any dog can bite. OP and the post-man are at fault here - OP for not knowing that dogs will react like that if you get in their face, and the postman for being a twat.

As I am sure OP knows, malamutes require a particular type of owner and a significant amount of exercise - like Goldies tbh. And, like Goldies - and many other high energy needs - if their needs are not met, they do display unfavourable behaviours. For some dogs this is destroying things, for others it's shadow chasing, for others it's more aggression related.

I am really sorry, OP, but it sounds like you do not trust your dog now. The bond is probably gone. Sadly, I would re-home through a breed specific rescue - if only because I don't think children belong around dogs with a bite history and dogs deserve to be with someone who can trust them, or at least understands the issues at play to help.

That makes far more sense. Clearly the Postie was overfamiliar towards a dog that didn't really know him as a friend.
As the owner of a giant breed, I really feel for you. It could happen to any of us.

I really hope things work out and you can put this behind you.

To be fair to the dog if a malamute bit someone intentionally on the face it could have ripped his face off. It does sound accidental especially the way he backed off as soon as he realised what he’d done. People are stupid about how they approach dogs unfortunately so that is on you with a large breed dog to manage how people approach him so he isn’t put in that position. Unfortunately it’s nigh on impossible to manage that with children in the home and I would never recommend that breed for a young family so I would definitely think about how you mange home life as yes if it happens with a young child it could be a very different outcome. My cat is anxious and wallops unknown children if they come into the house and are boisterous so I know now to separate her. It can happen with any pet but if you’re going to own a large breed you need to manage that risk constantly.

Rehome that dog please. I know you love him, but do you love your children and the general public less? I wouldn't be wasting time and money on training, behaviourists or anything else. Once bitten and all that.

HOWEVER>>> the one thing that jumps out of many comments here is the fact that people should not bend over to pet a dog because blah blah blah. Oh I get it, everyone on the planet should be aware that dogs don't like that. Many people would not know this and would bend down to pet the dog getting near to their face.

So now, everyone needs to be educated as to the dos and don'ts of meeting and greeting a dog out and about, and of course it's THEIR fault if a dog bites them. I can't believe this.

No one needs to be educated.

It's basic common sense. At least it should be if you're not a complete nitwit.

No it's not, it is often instinctive to want to bend down and pet a dog.

But now we can't do that because the dog is the master and we should know everything about the dos and don'ts.

Rehome that dog stat.

Why are you on a thread about dogs (on the Pet sub) when you don't like animals and seem to know nothing about them? Genuinely curious.

I suppose the issue is that you would have said that about him biting anyone a couple of days ago.

Because I could be the postman.

I have 2 dogs that I absolutely adore and call them my fur babies. I have a golden retriever and a poochon, so little and large.
I also have 3 children.
If my dog had bitten someone or shown any sort of aggression I wasn’t hesitate to either rehome or pts. The children’s safety always comes first. I would be heartbroken but I could never trust a dog again once it’s bitten.

Agreed, that’s what is going around and around in my head constantly. And why I’m so conflicted. I do get it honestly :(

This is my view also and I think it should be the view of any responsible dog owner.

What a strange reply. I am simply outlining the precautions that I believe are necessary to manage a dog safely, because one can never be 100% sure of a dog's reliability.
As for the walk remarks, are you seriously suggesting that dogs don't need and love to be taken out for walks? They, like most creatures, enjoy the stimulation of different sights, exercise, sounds and smells, and they shouldn't be deprived of that.

No, it really doesn't. It was an accident. Authorities have investigated and agreed.

Dog may have just lunged forward and caught the postman's lip with it's teeth rather than it being a proper bite, that sort of thing happens.

If you mishandle a cat, it will scratch. This incident is in that realm, not dangerous-dog realm

The op is behaving incredibly responsibly, more so than most people, has done everything by the book and more and so taking extensive advise.

Too many people except pets to behave like automatons when they're animals with non human behaviours and instincts. Individual responsibility for interacting with animals is on all of us.

Just out of interest how are you supposed to pet a dog? If you cant pet from above, or at face level, how do you do it safely?

I’m sorry to say, I have two children and after this I could never ever feel comfortable having this dog around them. Yes he may never ever bite again, and he may never go for them- but the fact he did something that you felt was so out of character - means things like this cannot be ruled out in the future. I’d never be able to relax again - he has to go

It's hard to describe behaviours I do instinctively from childhood...

You never loom over a dog or bend/crouch over it when it can feel trapped - you'd hate it if someone much bigger than you did it to you. You need to respect their personal space so you certainly never put your face into it's face

WHen greeting a dog I don't know I keep my movements calm and preditable. I pause and give it time to assess me. If it's owner says it's OK to approach I'd hold my hand forward and nose level for it to sniff and would only progress to a head stroke or pat if the owner says OK. You also have to have a basic understanding of dog body language and be reading that.
When you do reach out to stroke a dog, you never move your hand from it's face to top of head by following the nose/forehead line - this is threatening and the dog can't see what you're doing, so you move round the side keeping your hand visible. Again, no sudden movements.

Dogs can misread our body language as easily as we can misread theirs so keeping calm and movements predictable and visible is important. They also can't talk to tell you they're uncomfortable so again, you need to keep an eye on body language.

The postman made a mistake and the dog reacted in line with canine behaviour. If the injury had been any worse, then outcome would be very different.

What are your qualifications exactly, and do you know this dog personally? Assuming the answer is absolutely none and no, then you are being hugely unhelpful to the @Lisa231186 whole is clearly struggling with the situation .

Dogs are animal, as are people incidentally. The OP is doing every right here, accidents do happen and they may never happen again, the animal does not need to die as a result. Sometimes animals do need to be put to sleep, but it should not be a knee jerk reaction.

It's a dog, it needs treating with respect. We seem to have lost a lot of common sense in how we behave around animals and how we treat our children to behave around them. You do not stick your face into the face of an animal, whether it is your animal, a pet or a wild animal. They aren't machines, programmed to behave in a certain way. When did people become this stupid?
This isn't the dogs fault. Quite frankly you sound like one of those silly " why friend shaped, if not friend", Internet people. What next? Let's shoot all the cows in the fields, because you know, they may trample people.
The postman was foolish, he meant well, but he was foolish. This isn't the dog's fault.

I think that would come under regular pattern of aggression

The OP needs some normalcy of response here. Her friends and neighbours will be hoping she does out the dog down, for their own safety. although they won’t say it, because they will want to say what she wants to hear.

100%
It's like when you tell people not to poke their fingers through the bars of a cage - the rabbit/guinea pig/whatever will probably bite. Doesn't mean it needs to be put down.