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Original poster

Adopting a dog privately - not via a rescue.

111 replies

Wellsonsea · 11/09/2025 20:28

A friend of a friend - casual-says that she has to go back to work full time for economic reasons.( was pt )
They have a 4 year old shiz tu
dog and arranged a walker each lunchtime since she has gone back to work.
This is £15 per session and is therefore £ 300 per month .
They apparently feel this is also not good for the dog and want a home for him were he will have more company.
Are people really this selfless- if so struggle to give my dog up due to finances.
I am really tempted to adopt this dog .
The thing is they live in another town some distance from me so Id have to assess the situation on a visiting basis.

I know will have to be careful as this could be a difficult dog etc. as its without the back up of a rescue.
i will get permission to call their vet .
can i insist on returning if he does not settle .? If so how ?
what if he didnt settle .
He is 4 .
I am aware that dogs need time to adjust. Am experienced dog owner , but not of this breed.
Can anyone advise?
Have spoken to
them on phone and they sound genuine and anxious re their dog .
Ive found that they have advertised the dog for sale and i will post the link- but I have first refusal.
Please do not judge the site they have advertised on- they asked me loads of questions and sound worried.
The advise I would really appreciate please is
. what questions to ask
. how to
judge if they are genuine .
. how to assess the dog
. how to safeguard things if it breaks down( and if they say i cant return him if it breakes down- do i walk away)
On the face of it - he really is my type of dog.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 12/09/2025 20:21

Wellsonsea · 12/09/2025 13:14

SeaAndStars

About 4 hours .
There are apparently 11 people interested now - but i am the preferred.

11 potential owners and (I suspect) every one is going to be told they are the number one potential.

This is effectively going to auction then.

NormaNormal · 12/09/2025 20:23

If you can't handle him you'll lose your money and have to give him to a rescue (which they should be doing but aren't as they are being greedy and want to sell him).
'Rescues' don't take pets without a good reason.

I think 'Buddy' was bought from a back street breeder/private individual, and is being sold because they no longer want him.

There is no way I'd let a stranger be alone with my pet. They might do a runner.

Vegalyra · 12/09/2025 20:25

Wellsonsea · 11/09/2025 20:48

I want to take him as I like this breed and could give him a happy life

If i ask for a trial or potential return and they say no what do I do ??
I think they are genuine and I know their vet and address

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask if they’d take him back if things don’t work out. If they care about the dog, they’ll rather have him back than in an unsuitable home.

We got our dog from a lovely breeder and they told us from the start that if we changed our mind, they’d take him back and give us a partial refund. They cared about the dog’s long term welfare and hopefully so do this dog’s current owners.

That being said, I hope it works out and you and the dog will be very happy.

PiggyPigalle · 12/09/2025 20:35

Vegalyra · 12/09/2025 20:25

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask if they’d take him back if things don’t work out. If they care about the dog, they’ll rather have him back than in an unsuitable home.

We got our dog from a lovely breeder and they told us from the start that if we changed our mind, they’d take him back and give us a partial refund. They cared about the dog’s long term welfare and hopefully so do this dog’s current owners.

That being said, I hope it works out and you and the dog will be very happy.

Show quote history

This isn't a breeder, it's someone passing on their pet. OP has less right to return, than buying an item from eBay where there's sellers protection.
Totally unreasonable to say she can't be alone with the dog. Should be able to walk it, play with it.
Was it four hours travel to visit? £700!

Original poster
Wellsonsea · 12/09/2025 20:36

thenightsky

they have waited 4 days for me to go to visit- they have put me under no pressure at all .
I would be intrigued to know what they have said to others though and I party wish someone on here would ask .
I suspect it is about money and the upkeep as the dw has had to go full time .
They also said their child is non verbal so there may issues and that the dog was a support dog for her .
Its all guesswork I guess.
I am pretty sure that he looks well looked after and he has done lots with them from the pics - but a great idea to ask for puppy pics!
I am visiting tomorrow . And the day after. I will see what he is like on the lead , in a car , and ask to go in a cafe or something. If they refuse , then I will walk away .

OP posts:
Original poster
Wellsonsea · 12/09/2025 20:42

As for any potential breakdown if he does not settle - I am going to ask what would “ we “ do about it - and what would they want me to do .
If i was selling a pet Id want to know what was going on - if it broke down etc despite not still being the owner .

OP posts:
MoominMai · 12/09/2025 20:50

Wellsonsea · 12/09/2025 20:42

As for any potential breakdown if he does not settle - I am going to ask what would “ we “ do about it - and what would they want me to do .
If i was selling a pet Id want to know what was going on - if it broke down etc despite not still being the owner .

I think as a PP said, genuine decent owners would accept the return as surely they want the best for their dog? If it were me, I’d ask to keep other interested parties details and perhaps try dog with them if won’t settle with you. Sometimes having young kids for example or other dogs can be comforting - and sometimes the absence of them is better. It’s a difficult one and very sad for the poor dog.

Def do walk away though if they’re not prepared to take their dog back. Good luck!

NormaNormal · 12/09/2025 20:53

I'm a big softie when it comes to pets, and if it wasn't for the price, distance and breed involved, I'd be OK with rehoming him.

It's a cute, short-snouted breed bought when buying cute puppies was all the rage. I wouldn't buy him.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 12/09/2025 21:10

I have just filled out the questionnaire and enquired about him.

has anyone else ?

and NO I do not wish to buy him, just looking to see what reply I get - maybe I will be No 12...

Original poster
Wellsonsea · 12/09/2025 21:19

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon

come back and tell me please!

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 12/09/2025 22:18

Of course I will ! but as yet not had a response. I guess it was probably a bit late in the day. It was 9.07pm.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 12/09/2025 22:47

Just received 'Hi xxxxx there is someone coming look buddy on Sunday an had few other messages I’ll let u know outcome on Sunday ok thanks interest where u from?'

and I have replied, ' South Devon '

Original poster
Wellsonsea · 13/09/2025 06:44

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevont thanks - ues that is correct- I go today . But asked to see him over the 2 days Sat amd sun so 8 could assess him over that time .

OP posts:
Original poster
Wellsonsea · 13/09/2025 06:46

thenightsky See last comments

OP posts:
Original poster
Wellsonsea · 13/09/2025 10:12

Update
The family sre also allowing most of Sunday for me to be with him with them and without .

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 13/09/2025 10:15

It sounds like you are being cautious which is good and taking it slowly
You won't be adopting him though, they are selling him to you

bluegreygreen · 13/09/2025 10:28

Looking at the advert, his parents didn't have health checks - I would ask if that is an omission in the advert (because it's not a puppy ad) or if it's correct.

If it's correct he will have come from a puppy farm or unscrupulous breeder originally - either someone else or this seller himself. He will be at risk of whatever genetic health defects are common in the breed.

GloryFades · 13/09/2025 10:36

LadyLolaRuben · 11/09/2025 21:15

Just to clarify, exchange of money proves legal change of ownership in a court of law. Even if its just £1.

I’m not sure that’s strictly true. You can’t steal my dog, transfer me £1 and then say it’s legally yours because you transferred money…

mugglewump · 13/09/2025 10:44

Trust your instincts when you visit the dog. Watch his/her behaviour (eg does he jump up?) and how he responds to commands (eg sit). We have adopted two dogs this way - at the late puppy stage when they start to become a bit of a handful. Expect the dog to be stressed for the first couple of days, but try to make things as familiar for it as possible - its bed, favourite toys, same food and copy the routine. Get the dog out as much as possible as it will be more relaxed outside with the distrations of a park. Put down some pupply pads or newspaper for the first night, just in case.

When we adopted our first dog, we could hear the children wailing as we left. They did really love her but she was spending far too much time on her own in one room. This became clear by her obsession with lights and shadows and the fact she was not socialised with other dogs. In all other ways she was wonderful. We have, a week ago, adopted her replacement (she died in July) and again the family found it hard. In fact they did renege on their decision temporarily saying they loved her too much to let her go, but recinded, saying they had to honour our agreement, so we were able to have her. They were not a wealthy family and I think could not afford daycare and were perhaps concerned about the general expense of having a dog.

With Pets4Homes, the ones to watch are the rescued in X country. You have to sift through for the 'unfortunately' ones indicating a change in circumstances or a realisation that they can't give the dog what they need. Good luck and enjoy the dog.

Original poster
Wellsonsea · 13/09/2025 11:27

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon

thanks for that .
I wonder if i can ask uou a big favour- would you mind asking , on the site , if the parents were genetically tested?
i am going to ask that on person but i wonder if you wd mind ? If its not ok - please ignore me - and thanks for what you did .

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 13/09/2025 12:00

I have sent this just now, however he may not reply to me due to others being interested. And I am off to work now, so it will be 6.30pm-ish before I can reply again - by which time you will have met him...

' Thank you. have you had Buddy since he was a puppy ? Can you remember what health checks his parents had / any genetic test that they had ? Is he neutered and vaccinated up to date ? '

Original poster
Wellsonsea · 13/09/2025 15:17

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon
thanks so much
I have this eve with him and then tomorrow - so a good amount of time .

OP posts:
NormaNormal · 13/09/2025 16:46

@Wellsonsea , they will have bought the puppy from Pets4homes, hence the 'member for 3 years'. Ask for pedigree documents.
He almost certainly won't have any, or documents on the genetic health of the parents.

Original poster
Wellsonsea · 13/09/2025 17:07

Ive been really positive about this - until now- I cant believe that the word ‘ miniature’ did not register!
I am aware that if he is a true ‘ teacup’ size - that may not be good .
I am aware of the breed issues - but i do think that a teacup is likely to add to issues ??
Feeling anxious now!

OP posts:
NormaNormal · 13/09/2025 17:20

Yes. They are miniature because they have been bred from runts.
i'd press for the generic health of the parents.