Things your dog must think humans do that’s very weird!

[Idratherbepaddleboarding]

Just a light hearted thread for a Saturday morning 🥰.

Our dog prefers to drink out of the toilets to his perfectly nice water bowl, he’ll even grumble for a “fresh flush” of nice cold water 🤢. He must think it’s very odd that his disgusting humans pee and poo in his water bowls!

He must also think it’s weird that he tries to lick our faces to show how much he loves us (we don’t let him especially when he’s been in the aforementioned toilet!) and we’ve never once given him licks back!

I think my dog thinks she has to walk the hoomans!

Picking up his poo- does he wonder what we do with it all?

Haha we go for a walk in weekdays at 4pm as when I get home from work, which coincides with DS’s school bus arriving. So we walk through the fields and meet DS off his bus and walk back together. If we don’t leave bang on 4pm, he starts nagging. I’m sure the dog thinks it’s his job to collect DS and show him the way home or he’d get hopelessly lost! 😂

That’s a good point!

Yeah picking up poo must be weird…why are you collecting my shit?

That I'm not a ddoggy mind reader.
She sits facing me, nose to nose, staring me out because she wants something.
If I don't respond she taps me with her paw.
We go through a whole routine, do you want your ball, no?
A bone, no?
A walk,no?
A treat, usually.
We have a mutual understanding of when she's hungry.
Are you hungry? She licks her lips!

Perhaps they wonder why we don't bark when someone walks past the window or knocks on the door.

I think my ddog wonders why I constantly pick up cushions off the floor and rearrange them on the sofa.

Surely the best place for shaking the stuffing out of them is on the floor?

Same with cleaning the nose prints off the kitchen patio doors...they need to be replaced immediately with a fresh huff on the glass. Apparently it's essential that they are there...

Our boy found it baffling when I was planting daffodil bulbs a few weeks ago. He thought they were small balls and stole a few to run around the garden with 😂 Must have thought I was weird for burying the best dog toys ever

Be careful though, daffodil bulbs are toxic to dogs (and tortoises incase you needed that information 😂).

@Idratherbepaddleboarding don't worry, when I realised he thought it was all a big game I swapped him for some cheese and grabbed a kong from the freezer to keep him occupied whilst I finished 😂😂 It was a win-win for him, little monkey 😂 though I didn't know they were toxic to tortoises - how did someone find that out?! 😂

Do they get embarrassed we have to pick up the poops all the time, especially at the park when it’s busy?

Nah I think they are like, I know you like my poop as you collect it I’ll do some more!

My guys like to sit on the bed and watch me take a shower - defo something they don’t get, lol.
Not chewing your pyjamas, or clothes in general doesn’t make sense to them either.
See also, not making a lot of noise when I see a squirrel or a neighbours cat!

Oh yes, getting in the shower or bath. Poor things. They have to take their artificial fur off to wash their skin.
What exactly went wrong there? How did they go mainly bald? Was it a disease? Was it some kind of human mange epidemic that they've never recovered from? It's quite shocking when you see it for the first time. Some of the big male ones' fur isn't so badly affected but even that is patchy at best. If my coat looked like that I'd be worried.

Best to watch them until they've got their artificial fur back on and have stopped going all weird colours.

Every time I pick up poo, ddog stands and watches me do it.

I've often wondered what she's thinking and whether she thinks I'm a proper oddball for collecting it all 😂

I always think DDog must be disappointed that we never pee up anything. He so carefully scent marks all the landmarks on our regular walks and I always imagine he is disappointed that I never take a turn in staking out our territory.

Similarly how it always seems to be down to him to scare off birds, cats and the postman. I am sure he thinks he does an excellent job and is puzzled that no-one else joins in

I read somewhere that dogs think a walk is basically a pack hunt and I do think my ddog is of that opinion. The more the merrier as far as he is concerned. He gets very excited if everyone goes and very sad if we 'lose' anyone into a shop or something.

Mine must think I am an idiot for losing the ball and other toys all the time....

We had a dog who did the longest wees ever and by the the time he finished he definitely looked embarrassed. I swear if he could have, he would have apologised!

Did he look at you whilst peeing, my dog does?!

Why don't I instantly move and do whatever they're trying to communicate to me by intensely staring

Another one that my ddog must ponder on.. Why does everyone else in the house live peacefully with the vacuum?

Don't any of us understand that it's an evil robot that must be barked at and attacked everytime it moves?

Why do we keep taking the best toys, socks, of them?

why can’t we spend all day playing ball outside?

So true! Ditto the broom.

Weird things humans do - That we poo inside, not eating each other’s poo, not licking each other’s cocks, teeth and arse holes on a regular basis (my dogs are father and sons and they all do it to each other it’s gross), not sitting on the windowsill all day looking out and instead watching a screen, not licking our plates clean and not licking the recycling. I’m sure ours think we go on nice long walks every time we go out and not that we are going to work. And given we can get into cupboards why haven’t we eaten it all??!!!! 🤣