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Original poster

Dog not coping with newborn

72 replies

Highlandttc · 05/05/2024 12:06

Hi we have a 5 week old baby and our dog we’ve had for 10 years is really struggling to adjust to him.
when he’s quite or asleep/feeding he’s fine but as soon as he starts crying or gurning our dog reacts and runs over. He’s tried to nips the baby’s toes a few times and if we’re holding him and he’s crying badly the dog will try and pull at us.
we also can’t lay the baby on their playmat unless one of us is there to sit with the dog and he lunged at the baby out of nowhere quite aggressively. We’re not sure why he reacts so unpredictably, I’m not sure if it’s the noises baby makes? I don’t think the dog can tell the difference between a sad noise and a happy one. It’s a real strain on us as we adore our dog and trying everything we can to make sure he still feels as loved, if not more loved than ever before!
Aby advice appreciated!!!

OP posts:
Hugosmaid · 05/05/2024 12:09

The ONLY advice is that the dog is rehomed. He maybe too old to deal with a new baby and it’s not fair on the dog having to be put down if he marks ( or worse) your baby. Be responsible for both baby and dog

DrJoanAllenby · 05/05/2024 12:10

The dog is ten so is a senior dog.

It must be very distressing to have their peace shattered by the piercing cries of a baby and to wonder why you and your husband are giving this 'creature' lots of attention!

You need to make sure the dog is given lots of love and attention and given a quiet space and not force the baby on them.

We have a lot of dogs and all are lovely and calm dogs but we never ever let them near babies or small children.

DrJoanAllenby · 05/05/2024 12:11

Hugosmaid · 05/05/2024 12:09

The ONLY advice is that the dog is rehomed. He maybe too old to deal with a new baby and it’s not fair on the dog having to be put down if he marks ( or worse) your baby. Be responsible for both baby and dog

Yeah that's right, he was there first but let's throw the dog away like it's had it's use and can now be dispensed with.

Mamaxo · 05/05/2024 12:14

Can you have a safe space in the kitchen for your dog with a baby gate so your babies safe and your dog has some peace, not saying lock the dog in the kitchen all day but it could benefit everyone for your dog to have it's own space, and baby's safe on playmat ect.

Devilshands · 05/05/2024 12:18

Adult dogs who have been the recipient of sole love/attention their entire lives rarely adjust well to babies tbh. When a baby enters someones life the dog ends up with less attention, less mental stimulation, less exercise. You might not mean for it to happen, but it does.

Ultimately, you don't sound like you're managing this well - you put your baby on a matt and the dog lunged at it. Why was the dog anywhere near the baby?
I don't meant to be harsh - but dogs and babies do not mix. There is a reason that shelters don't gives to people with young children and, in particular, babies. I wouldn't let any of my dogs near my nieces until they (my nieces) were eight years old and IMO responsible enough to understand any warning signs - even though they had dogs at their parents house. Why? Because dogs can be unpredictable around children.

You'll either need to keep them separate (and restricting a dog to just a kitchen or a crate is not responsible pet ownership - it still needs to be able to move around comfortably) or rehome the dog.

It's cruel to keep a dog that can't cope with a baby - particularly if you are inadvertently giving the dog less exercise, stimulation and attention. If you do go with rehoming the dog, please don't get another.

Original poster
Highlandttc · 05/05/2024 12:19

Hugosmaid · 05/05/2024 12:09

The ONLY advice is that the dog is rehomed. He maybe too old to deal with a new baby and it’s not fair on the dog having to be put down if he marks ( or worse) your baby. Be responsible for both baby and dog

We’re never going to do that!!

OP posts:
EndoEnd · 05/05/2024 12:20

Get a good dog trainer in to help you deal with this issue ASAP. I did read somewhere that baby cries can trigger a predator/prey response in some dogs, because the sound can sound like an animal in distress. I don't have any experience in this issue, but I would say a professional is the only way forward. I know it's money but really you need proper advice with this one because the risks are a too high, and you definitely don't want to cause any further anxiety in the dog by improper training.

MuttsNutts · 05/05/2024 12:21

I would suggest a baby gate so that the dog isn’t completely excluded and gets a chance to get used to the baby and the different sounds he makes. Give him a favourite chew or toy whenever you close the gate so that he doesn’t feel like it’s a punishment and hopefully in time he will relax.

Five weeks is very early days - the whole household and your routines have been turned upside down so he will be really confused. Remember to give him lots of love but a firm no if he steps out of line and praise when he settles and is being calm around baby.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 05/05/2024 12:24

Being very blunt sadly you must rehome the dog. Unfortunately he poses a serious risk to your child and it's completely unacceptable that you put the baby at risk after even 1 incident. I questioned how genuine this post is tbh I can't believe anyone could be this clueless. Sort it out.

converseandjeans · 05/05/2024 12:28

Does dog still have same amount of exercise? I would be making sure he's had a good run as usual.

Put a travel cot up in living room & put baby down in that then at least it's protected. I'm not sure about putting newborn on floor anyway.

Keep dog away from baby - star gate?

We had old dog when DD was born & never had any issues - but I don't think we laid her on floor as newborn like that & we were lucky she didn't cry much. Dog carried on getting 3 walks a day.

Emma543 · 05/05/2024 12:29

Please get in touch with a dog behaviourist they will be able to help x

Itsneverme · 05/05/2024 12:32

Vile to think that people straight away are saying re home the dog! Stair gates, supervisor and praise and treats when dog is settled and baby is crying

tracktrail · 05/05/2024 12:34

Rehoming is the only option. Babies are much wanted for adoption..😉

Seriously though, keep dog on lead indoors while in the same room, use gates to keep separate unless you have full attention and contact a dog behaviour specialist.

As a side note, I've often wondered if squeaky toys encourage the prey drive, and a newborn probably sounds like prey. Some breeds have a much higher drive than others anyway.

Janedoe82 · 05/05/2024 12:37

What sort of dog is it

CosmosQueen · 05/05/2024 12:40

Highlandttc · 05/05/2024 12:19

We’re never going to do that!!

Show quote history

If your dog is already showing aggression towards the baby then you have a very serious problem on your hands.
it is absolutely unfair on the dog so rehoming is the only safe option, somewhere without children.

JovialNickname · 05/05/2024 12:41

I love that this is the thread title not "My dog is biting my newborn baby" (you say he "nips" him, and has "lunged" at him, fuck me.) Why is the focus of your post about appeasing your dog rather than wanting to protect the safety of your tiny child? I really don't think people like you should be allowed to have sole responsibility for a newborn baby, if these are your thought processes.

fungipie · 05/05/2024 12:43

This poor dog has been your baby, with all your attention, for 10 years. It is such a shame people do not realise that a dog needs to be prepared for the arrival of a baby, well in advance. DH needs to step up with a lot more exercise and cuddles and attention. And dog needs to be separated from baby with gate, until they are used to each other.

Same story, again and again. and dog gets the blame and ends up being re-homed or in kennels or pts. Sorry OP, but surely you must have realised your dog would react and need lots of preparation, with dog gate in place and used to before babies's arrival.

You need a dog trainer to help.

Makes me so so sad. Did dog sleep in your bed too?

ButterCrackers · 05/05/2024 12:44

As a dog owner and parent I’d say to rehome your dog. Keep your dog separate from your baby. Call your local dog shelter for advice.

fungipie · 05/05/2024 12:45

JovialNickname · 05/05/2024 12:41

I love that this is the thread title not "My dog is biting my newborn baby" (you say he "nips" him, and has "lunged" at him, fuck me.) Why is the focus of your post about appeasing your dog rather than wanting to protect the safety of your tiny child? I really don't think people like you should be allowed to have sole responsibility for a newborn baby, if these are your thought processes.

Edited

Because the dog has been their baby for 10 years and no preparation whatsoever or training have been made. The dog is not at fault here.

QueSyrahSyrah · 05/05/2024 12:45

I'm not a dog owner (although I do have pets) but I can't believe anyone is advocating NOT considering rehoming the dog after it has already 'aggressively lunged' at the newborn baby.

The only other option that I can see is keeping dog and baby in separate rooms for ever.

We have a 15 year old cat that we adore and a baby on the way. We've no idea how it'll go once baby arrives but if there's any suggestion that he would cause harm to the baby then he'd have to go, no matter how much it would break my heart. We owe the baby everything we can do to keep him or her safe.

DarkForces · 05/05/2024 12:46

Who exactly is going to want a 10 year old dog? Keep them separate with a baby gate and give the dog a chew.

mitogoshi · 05/05/2024 12:46

I think breed matters here, if it's a larger breed then i would be a lot more cautious than a miniature breed as with the latter keeping them separate is easier,

It does seem like the dog is struggling more than I'd expect, the two times I did this (once for my dd and once years later introducing my nephew, different dog) the dog licked the toes briefly then plodded off back to bed. My current ddog isn't keen on small children in the sense he keeps his distance but has never shown aggression and happily eats any scrap food of course, my old dog was 12 when dd was born and again mostly went into a different room when she cried

AuntieMarys · 05/05/2024 12:46

JovialNickname · 05/05/2024 12:41

I love that this is the thread title not "My dog is biting my newborn baby" (you say he "nips" him, and has "lunged" at him, fuck me.) Why is the focus of your post about appeasing your dog rather than wanting to protect the safety of your tiny child? I really don't think people like you should be allowed to have sole responsibility for a newborn baby, if these are your thought processes.

Edited

Absolutely.

Original poster
Highlandttc · 05/05/2024 12:47

My dog has also shown affection as he’s slowly growing used to our new baby. If we thought he was a threat to our child we would look at options but his reactions make us think he’s trying to be protective rather than aggressive. I was looking for advice on any tips we could put into place to try and calm his anxiety and thank you to those who have shared some - we will definitely try them out! And those who believe so strongly he should be rehomed I won’t be taking your advice until we try every avenue!

OP posts:
Original poster
Highlandttc · 05/05/2024 12:48

JovialNickname · 05/05/2024 12:41

I love that this is the thread title not "My dog is biting my newborn baby" (you say he "nips" him, and has "lunged" at him, fuck me.) Why is the focus of your post about appeasing your dog rather than wanting to protect the safety of your tiny child? I really don't think people like you should be allowed to have sole responsibility for a newborn baby, if these are your thought processes.

Edited

Thanks for your advice 👍🏼

OP posts: