Dog not coping with newborn

[Highlandttc]

Hi we have a 5 week old baby and our dog we’ve had for 10 years is really struggling to adjust to him.
when he’s quite or asleep/feeding he’s fine but as soon as he starts crying or gurning our dog reacts and runs over. He’s tried to nips the baby’s toes a few times and if we’re holding him and he’s crying badly the dog will try and pull at us.
we also can’t lay the baby on their playmat unless one of us is there to sit with the dog and he lunged at the baby out of nowhere quite aggressively. We’re not sure why he reacts so unpredictably, I’m not sure if it’s the noises baby makes? I don’t think the dog can tell the difference between a sad noise and a happy one. It’s a real strain on us as we adore our dog and trying everything we can to make sure he still feels as loved, if not more loved than ever before!
Aby advice appreciated!!!

Where would you re home to? Rescues are full. Unless you've got someone to take the dog then it's keep them apart or have the dog pts

But the dog is a threat to your child. If you aren’t going to rehome it then it’s only a matter of time until your baby is seriously hurt (and that will be your fault).

Please contact your vet or a behaviourist for advice.

There seems to be risk present that I would not be comfortable with.

Don’t underestimate your dog.

@DarkForces and you know all the rescue centres are full because how?

Is there a secret database or something?

What a ridiculous claim to make!

Argos or pets at home sell extra tall dog gates I'd get one and provide the dog with a quiet space away from baby with the gate to stop dog from lunging

I really don't think people like you should be allowed to have sole responsibility for a newborn baby, if these are your thought processes.

Oh fuck off. Does it make you feel good kicking a new mother? OP is being a responsible parent AND dog owner by looking at solutions, the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

Why don’t you think the dog is a threat to your child? He has bitten and lunged already. That’s your warning. In many ways you were lucky to get a warning, next time could be an attack. I know it’s hard, and you love your dog but you can’t place him on an equal standing in the family as your child.
I would PTS (as hard as that would be).

I would recommend training your dog and working with a behaviourist first before jumping to get rid of the dog. I'd also set up your home so dog and baby are kept separate. We used a stairgate between our living room and kitchen initially so baby could play on the floor and dog could watch us from the kitchen but not have free reign. You maybe need to do some desensitisation training with your dog or give them a settle command and reward when baby cries. I'd also recommend lots of time spent with your dog to reassure them and make sure you're walking them and stimulating them as much as you should be. If you aren't getting out for long walks then get some enrichment toys the dog can enjoy while you're focusing on baby. I'd put the money into a good reputable trainer.

Your baby will soon be a mobile small creature and sometimes with food in hand. Your dog will need to learn to see your child as in charge of the pack and not as something to be hunted. It’s a risk that I wouldn’t take. Any dog can lash out at a child at any moment. If your dog was younger I’d say it could be trained but ten years is a senior dog age and harder to demote in the pack to below the new arrival. Your baby is defenceless and loud and in the way of your dog. Rehoming would be sad for you but at least your child would be safe and your dog would get lots of attention.

Lunging and nipping at toes are not protective behaviours. There is no way I would have a dog in my house who did this even once around a child. I say this as a life long dog owner who prefers dogs to human company!

Hi we recently went through a similar thing, I had my first baby in November and I also have a 10 year old Springer spaniel (aged 9 at the time) who really struggled at first with the crying and noises and also the fact he was not my main focus anymore. Although I must admit he was never aggressive but he is a boisterous and very busy dog, if you were sitting down or standing while holding her he would constantly try to jump and grab her and if she was in her cot he was up at the side of the cot constantly. It wasn't aggressive but he was trying to grab her almost as if she was a toy 😳

What fixed it was mainly extra obedience training, time and managing the situation. He is pretty obedient anyway but we had a dog trainer in to assess the situation as I felt out of my depth and struggling as well with feeling guilty about how my dog was feeling and trying to cope with becoming a mum!

We really worked on the leave it command, he is really good at this normally with food etc but the crying was really working him up and blowing his brain so everything he knew was going out the window. We practiced 'wait' and 'leave it' over and over until he would do it no matter what. We would also put the baby in her cot in the living room and get him to sit 6 feet away from the cot - reward when calm and gradually reduce the distance until he would sit right next to the cot without trying to jump up. The same with having someone holding her whether they were standing or sitting we repeated the same thing. He was on a lead for this as well so we had total control of him and if he did try to jump we could correct him without there being any risk to our baby.

As my baby suffered badly from colic she did cry a lot and i won't lie our dog was stressed out sometimes but we made sure that he was walked a lot and sometimes he stayed at my dads house to give him a break from it for a few hours.

I would also add we have stair gates everywhere and he was never allowed in the same room if she was on the floor etc. Now over the last couple of months I have relaxed this slightly but I rarely let him him still as he's a lump of a dog and i don't trust him not to step on her accidently.

He is completely unbothered by her now 6 months on. It did take I'd say about 3 - 6 weeks before he calmed completely though. It did take some work which is really hard with a newborn but it will all be worth it because my dog will now sit on the couch next to her while the baby plays with his fur. Unfortunately i don't have much advice for aggression as we didn't have that issue it was more him being out of control from excitement i believe or being stressed out from her crying but if you get a good dog trainer in I'm sure you'll be able to come to a solution.

This would hugely concern me and my threshold for concern with a newborn baby in the house would be extremely low.

What breed is your dog? Not that it matters I guess considering a baby was killed by a JRT not so long ago.

The dog is a westie so a small breed. As I said previously we’ve seen some big improvements already but it’s just occasionally when our baby cries badly that he tends to react. And with the lunge at him - that was the first time we’ve had him on the floor so we did it very cautiously. We now know we can’t do that and will have the dog in a separate room if needed.
I’ll be deleting this post now thanks to some vile comments - just what a new mum wants to hear! Think before you comment on things!

Breed and size doesn't matter. Any dog can kill a child.

This is all very good advice.
@Highlandttc also recommend giving the dog a couple of vests / sleep suits that have been worn by your baby so they can get used to their scent.

this will be an enormous adjustment for the dog as well as obviously you.
what breed of dog do you have?
a good animal behaviourist would be invaluable too

I know you will be feeling beside yourself about it.

I think using the word aggressive was my first mistake as all of what you’ve said about your dog sounds so similar to ours!

I'm definitely going to get a stair gate and look into extra training! We’ve started rewarding him with treats when he sits and lies down if baby is crying so he’s getting so much better at that! We also have a colic baby so that’s what adds the extra stress to the dog. I’m hoping in a few months he’ll not even be interested. He sleeps in beside us at night and doesn’t even flinch when baby gurns for a feed! So I do see a light at the end of the tunnel!

🤷🏼‍♀️
Let’s hope that this doesn’t turn into a disaster. I don’t know why you asked if you’re not prepared to be realistic.

Breeds and groups of dogs have more prevalent characteristics than others though and understanding this too might help: ie resource guarding, prey drive, separation anxiety, need for copious amounts of exercise,

You won't get sensible replies to this on Mumsnet sadly. Very anti dog at the best of times.

I would get a force free behaviourist in. I would also actually teach your dog what you want them to do when the baby cries. At the moment he is reacting to try to make it stop. But going about it wrong.

I would teach the dog that when the baby cries good things happen. A million treats fall on the floor or his favourite toy appears! Have stuff ready to go. Make the baby positive. Make sure he is getting lots of attention.
And for goodness sake keep them separate!

Good luck

I really suggest looking at the wiki page for infants killed by dogs, the USA page in particular. Dogs that react to a crying baby by reaching over a crib and crush a crying infants skull.

Hi OP,

I'm so sorry to hear that your dog hasn't settled quite yet with your baby.

I lived as a lodger in house that had a westie and the dog did take askance at me arriving on its territory, so I can understand how hard it must be.

I only worry about you saying that the dog and baby are both sleeping in your room at the moment.

I think it would be good to at least put the dog securely in a separate room from the baby when you and your DH are asleep.

Is that an option?

I agree. OP has gone from ' he lunged aggressively at the baby' and his behaviour is ' unpredictable' to ' oh he's just being protective'.

Doesn't sound like protectiveness! You are deluding yourself if you think this.

This is why I would never get a dog and then a baby. Always the other way around. Not helpful now I realise.

I too struggle to see how someone would not put their own child first. I'd get rid of the dog.

Make sure he is getting lots of attention. And for goodness sake keep them separate!

Surely these two things can't be done. Babies take up huge amounts of time. That means the dog is being shut out of family life a lot more.

The only two options are to rehome your dog or to have him PTS.

Sorry OP it’s a hard truth, but you simply have to prioritise your child over your pet.

In the immediate short term, might a soft muzzle be a good idea? The westie I knew liked to grab things and shake them like a rat. I think that getting a holding mechanism until there is a proper solution might be a good idea.