Having my cat euthanised in 2 days

[lovenotwar149]

Can anyone relate? Our cat who is 18 yrs old, yes 18, is being euthanised in our home in 2 days. Its a celebration of her life for sure, she has lived a long life and been loved and cared for by myself and my husband and our 3 sons. I have been very tearful in the last few wks, knowing that this decision was imminent. Now the decision has been made, I find it very difficult to see my hubby so pragmatic about the whole thing. Not showing any emotion etc I dont expect him to cry and I know she's a cat not a human but evenstill.
He gave in to my wishes, it wasn't a row at all, just a difference of opinion.. mostly, to having her euthanised at home rather than the vets. The vets was his preference because of cost. In 18 yrs she's hardly cost us anything re vet bills. She has been looked after well and not been ill and not hardly had ANY treatment at all from the vets. So I thought the extra cost to have her euthanised at home was completely ok, and I know he has now agreed but the fact that he didn't want to because of the cost, and still holds that opinion , is very upsetting for me. What do others think pls?

[lovenotwar149]

He doesn't seem to have emotional empathy. One of my sons who lives away, not too far, is coming home tomorrow evening to see her before she is put down. I thought that was very caring. My husband thought it was soppy. And today he said 'wouldn't it be better if he didn't see her now, what if he comes home and doesn't think she's at the end as we have assessed her to be?'

[dogmumma90]

I'm so sorry for having to make this decision and for the upcoming loss of your beautiful cat. Losing a pet is absolutely awful, our dog is a family member, just like your cat is to you, and I completely dread when her time will come.

Maybe it's your husband's way of dealing with it? Perhaps it's hitting him hard but he's hiding his feelings? Does he usually show/talk about his feelings or is this a "normal" reaction for him?

Either way, know you're not alone and I'm with you in how you feel ❤️

[lovenotwar149]

Oh thank you VERY much for your understanding. I find it so difficult to watch her atm, she just looks so sad and depressed, just about still interested in food today. He's not demonstrative emotionally, and how ironic I am! Classic combo I guess.Thx again!

[lovenotwar149]

Yes, it prob is his way of dealing with it. Just dont think about it and keep busy. I am so glad I can FEEL.

[dogmumma90]

It must be heartbreaking to see her so sad 😢 I'm so sorry. Take care of her in her final days, and take care of yourself too xx

[lovenotwar149]

I used to joke and say to him ...if I died, I reckon you'd be sad for a day and then just get on! Might be true

[lovenotwar149]

dogmumma90 

Thank you!

[lovenotwar149]

As hard as I find his pragmatic attitude ,he could well be finding my teary attitude just as hard to see.
Its interesting when you flip it round I guess

[cerisepanther73]

@lovenotwar149

I get it had to put my lovely cat to sleep too recently,
my cat was 12 years age,

i do think 🤔 it's just your husband's way of dealing with impending grief of losing yoyr furry member of your family soon,

we all deal with our emotions differently, i think for men the social conditioning = brainwashing, "boys men don't cry , need to be the strong one backbone,
is really hard wired into them,
unfortunately can be to their detriment,

[lovenotwar149]

cerisepanther73 

Yes you're prob right there, he's a good man. I can't expect him to behave the same way I am

[cerisepanther73]

It's difficult for you and your family knowing that this will be outcome for your cat too,

feel assured your cat will not suffer at all when envitable happens

your cat going by longevity of age has been blessed with having you in her life and obviously relatively good heath until recently..

[lovenotwar149]

She is a VERY loved cat!

[Soubriquet]

I think having her PtS at home is the best thing since it minimises stress and I’m really sorry your dh doesn’t understand that

Im really sorry for your upcoming loss. Take care of yourselfn

[lovenotwar149]

💗

[cerisepanther73]

@lovenotwar149
I didn't know there is a vet service in which your cat can be put to sleep at home too,

[Theoldwrinkley]

We had to take the decision to have our cat PTS late last year. Vets could only do the deed later in day, and then (of course) we couldn't find him. But had it done next day.
Making this heart wrenching decision is the price you pay for the years of love enjoyed by both you and cat. Different people deal with it in different ways. I was in pieces (like you). Hubby was just getting on with it, but if anything he was closer to cat than I was. I feel same way about my departure in that hubby may be a bit sad for a day, but then just get on with things. Which is what I want.

[fleurneige]

We have never bought a pet, and never spent silly money on toys, etc. We have been so lucky as everyone has lived to a VERY long age. But our rule is that pts is always at home- in our arms or on our lap- without all the stress of travelling to the vet and entering the premises.

I am so so glad you also feel that is the right way. Thinking of you- it is always so hard, but when you love a pet, you have to know and accept when the time has come. You are so doing the right thing to have vet come to your home.

[lovenotwar149]

Thank you people for love, support and your understanding, much appreciated 💕

[lovenotwar149]

Hello lovely people, thank you again for your replies.
We had our beautiful cat euthanised at home y'day and it was so sad yet so lovely too. My husband was a star tbh. He was absolutely find with the payment and very supportive of me too. He was strong and capable, took complete charge is a very compassionate way of the aftercare, burial etc in our garden. I saw qualities in him that reminded me why I chose him. Its sad and very strange to wake up and not see her this morning but I feel content with the peaceful and painless , it seemed, procedure that took place and also reassuring that the vet was confident that our call to euthanise her was very appropriate too. What a lovely caring vet she was too. Best wishes people xx

[lovenotwar149]

I cried throughout the procedure, not in a uncontrolled way, but in a sad way, and he was so together or rather pragmatic. I guess we all are different and deal with these things differently. Thats the take home for me. And to try to remember this too when this kind of situation comes about again, we all deal differently with such events.

[mrsteeve]

m really sorry to hear about this loosing a pet is great loss that cant bear easily

[lovenotwar149]

mrsteeve 

Thank you 😊

[shellyleppard]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I think its better for your darling cat to be at home and comfortable in her last few days. Your husband may well be hiding his emotions regards the cat, but plenty of cuddles for you and your darling cat x

[FiveShelties]

I am so sorry @lovenotwar149 it is a dreadful decision to make. 18 is a fantastic age she must have been very well loved.

💐

[missfliss]

The ideal way to say goodbye to a much loved friend - I think it's wonderful you were able to hold her in your arms in her own familiar territory - sorry for your loss xx