Cat still detests kitten after five months

[whenlifegivesyou]

Tried feliway, reintroductions that are slow and careful, scent swapping. The two year old female HATES the 8 month old female kitten. My other three year old male gets on with both. All three are neutered. We adore all three. How long might this process take? Might they never become friends? If not - the unthinkable - we may have to think about rehoming the newest addition as my first responsibility is to the older cat. This would be devastating. All advice/experiences welcome

I had this situation and sadly, the to cats never got along. They did manage to co-exist but hissed at each other whenever they passed.

This is the same with our cars, five years later.

Cats even...

Cats do not generally enjoy living with other cats unless they are related ie mother/kitten or siblings. It can cause them immense stress as they are territorial animals. I would rehome the kitten.

Nonsense.

OP, is she physically aggressive towards the kitten or just annoyed?

It can take much longer than 5
Months. I think it took at least a year for my lot to tolerate each other and stop swiping at each other. They now will all happily sit in the same room and eat together. Give it more time and in the meantime make sure they have separate litter trays if you use them, separate areas to sleep and eat and plenty of space.

My older cat was not happy about the kitten at first and this went on for a year. She ruined my 2nd sofa by pissing on it in protest.
I think the kitten just about finished her off by dropping on her from a great height for fun. There was all kinds of hissing and screaming.
Two years on they are pretty good friends and often have a cat chase together although the older cat has her limits.

Have you tried using feliway? My resident cat didn't like my two kittens at first and hissed alot. They're 8 months old now and she'll hiss if she's in a grumpy mood but otherwise they wrestle together and she grooms the female kitten now. I always fuss her first when I come home and feed them churus together so they feel positive about each other, and I don't intervene when she beats them up so she feels like she's top cat.

Do you have cat shelves and trees? The more places for her to get away the better. If your older cat likes to play with cat wands I've found that helped my three bond, and throwing dreamies on the floor so they all eat together.

She still doesn't like the male kitten apart from beating him up, but he's going to be a very big cat (ragdoll and she's a tiny little thing) so I think it's good for him to get a bit of a beating.

We had an older male and got a female kitten and they were amazing together.Older male died and we got two male kittens with the female being around 5-6 at the time - she's hated them, especially1 of the boys, since sight. They live in different parts of the house but she chases and beats up the boys 😣

@Viewfrommyhouse aggressive hissing and stalking and rushing at her but stops short of physical contact

I think lots of issues arise around female cats ... :/

I call dibs!

What do the resources look like? How are they fed? How many litter trays do they have and where are they positioned? Are there plenty of high up places for them to each hang out?

Large house. Two of the three are outdoor cats. The third is a Persian and indoor. Three litter trays - the older cats go outside and don't use any trays. We have cat trees and scratch posts dotted around. The hostile girl mainly stays in the conservatory now but comes in at times angry and stalks the kitten. Looks for her. They are fed separately but facing each other through window .. they have their own bowls. Sometimes I give them lickelicks together as a treat and this goes well.

@FloofCloud this is what I want to avoid long term. It would render all cats utterly miserable. The kitten would be scared and brow beaten and the older girl permanently stressed. I think her hostility is borne of fear in some way. I did such long drawn out and careful introductions then did it again .. nothing works she hates her on sight

This can happen, a friend of mine got a kitten, thinking it would be nice for her cat to have a friend, they just tolerated each other, never got on. Unlikely to change now I am afraid OP.

Sorry but it sounds like neither you or your friend know much about cats. 5 months is not long enough for cats to get to know each other. As me and others with experience of cats have said- it can take much longer than 5 months for cats to learn to live with each other. And your friend was sadly mistaken that cats need another feline to play with. Unless they are family or bonded then cats are quite happy being solitary.

I wouldn't lose hope OP.

What you want is for them to at least tolerate each other. They might never become great friends but your cat is not attacking the other and as the kitten grow it will be able to stand its ground.

I was raised in the countryside and we always had several cats and a dog in the house and frankly it was common for them to have the odd 'disagreement' or chase each other. I must say I am always quite surprised when people expect cats to live harmoniously all the time. It is not really how they work!

Unless your cat start exhibition some serious psychological issues, let them work things out.

There is a really sweet video on YouTube where cat owners kept a video diary of the interaction between a new rescue kitten and their older cat and you can see that the older cat was not impressed with the kitten for quite some time: s

It took weeks for my two. The older one mothered the kitten, even if she didn't want to be. They were best friends, until the older one died. Little one was lost for a while.

It's not "nonsense" actually. Maybe some can tolerate it but for most cats it's a source of stress having another cat in their territory all the time.

www.pdsa.org.uk/pet-help-and-advice/looking-after-your-pet/kittens-cats/do-cats-need-company

Well our two females don't get on. They can sleep in the same room. The younger one pesters the older one - we thought she has mainly been trying to get her to play with her.

So we took a chance and adopted another rescue, a boy this time. Two weeks in, playful one has started to play with him. They chase each other round the house and wrestle! It's lovely!

Miss Prim doesn't like either of them. She just takes herself upstairs.

Cats are not naturally inclined to be with other cats. Yes some tolerate it, some may even enjoy it, but the vast majority like their own territory and dont share

Cats by nature are solitary animals.

Yet ferals live in colonies.... 🤨

Its more like a bunch of introverts all just happening to be in the same place at the same time

In this case its probably because thats where the food is. It serves a purpose

But the average domestic non feral cat, is particular over their sofa, their bowl, their kitchen fridge, their bed, their rug, their slave (human), their cat flap, their fence, their windowsill etc etc

I’ve had 2 bad experiences of introducing kittens to an older resident cat. I’d never do it again.