I think my DH loves the cat more than our baby

[Northernmum83]

We have a 5 month old, DH to be fair is pretty good, he helps with nappies, plays with her, reads to her etc. But I see the way he looks at her then the way he looks at our cat and I just know the cats his favourite. My friends think I'm over reacting but his phone screensaver is the cat, his WhatsApp profile pic is him and the cat and he speaks to the cat more like a baby than our actual baby. Should I confront him about it or am I over reacting?

Does it really matter, even if the cat is his favourite?

Maybe he feels a bit inadequate as a real df but better as a furry df? Ime men don't have as much confidence with dc for good while. Remember to not be a martyr and hand dc over when need be. The fact you refer to him as helping suggests you usually do most things yourself. 50 /50 when he is at home at least..

Does it really matter? My screen saver is my cats, I baby my cats, I sleep with my cats, doesn't mean I don't love my children! What a bizarre post.

Some men don't fully bond with babies until they're a bit older, give it time before you judge him

Cats have personalities, are skilled communicators, are capable of feeding themselves once you've opened the packet and dumped it in a bowl and whilst you may well have to clean up their shit and puke, you don't actually have to get it off their bodies multiple times a day whilst they're screaming blue murder.

Added bonuses being that they're furry, purr and generally sleep 90% of the day away.

Once your DD, who will undoubtedly be the most adorable baby in the world ever, reaches the cognition and communication stage of your standard domestic tabby, it'll be different.

Try putting her into a fluffy onesie with stripes and little cat ears

What do you want him to do? Start giving the cat the cold shoulder? My husband’s screen saver is the dog. I’m fairly confident he loves the kids as well. 😂

I have two kids and a dog. The dog is pretty amazing. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids just because my heart aches when I look at his furry face.

I remember actively preferring the self-sufficient, QUIET cat when my kids were newborns tbh. I definitely sat and thought about how much better cats were than babies! The situation has resolved now that the DC are toilet trained and can make their own food :D don't worry!

‘Confront him’?

No.
This is such a strange thing to get upset about.

Can you imagine if you were having coffee with a friend and they said ‘ my partner confronted me and accused me of loving the cat more than our child’.
OP- are you ok? Have you had PND?
Please don’t confront your partner.

My husband and I have 2 teenagers and a dog (a very boisterous pup). We sometimes fantasise about rehoming our teenagers and keeping the dog😅

You should definitely confront the cat before it escalates: the purrs and fluffiness are all part of a clever plot to monopolise 100percent of your DH’s love.

Cats rule, babies drool.

I bet he does prefer the cat.

To be fair, 5 month olds are pretty boring.

Can you blame him? Cats are much prettier than babies and look better on a screen saver.

My cat is my favourite child in the household, my teens don't care and laugh.

Your baby is only 5 months, I'm sure the connection will be stronger than ever come the toddler years when the personality really comes out.

Well, if he does, there is bugger all you can do about it. People feel how they feel, not how someone tells them they should feel.

Confront him about him liking the cat more? 😆
Read your post back to yourself - you sound absolutely batshit, sorry.

And rightly so

I did not expect these responses when I clicked on the thread! Op hopefully you are mistaken, but if you aren't, yanbu, it's really not ok for a parent to prefer a pet to their own child imo - imagine if the child ever found out

Once your baby develops more of a personality perhaps he will swing round. And if he doesn't, but is still a wonderful father, does it really matter? Most of the women I know with children and grandchildren have themselves and the dog in their profile pictures. It's a less complicated relationship and not freighted with the same expectations.

My screensaver is of my cat.
My cats have always helped keep me sane particularly after having children.

Is it a really great cat though?

I have a sister and my parents have a female cat.

When I was at my parents’ house over Christmas, before my sister had arrived, my mum asked my dad if he’d heard from his other daughter about her plans and he said ‘she’s asleep in the radiator basket but has had breakfast’

Neither my sister or I would assume my dad loves any less because he adores the cat!

It’s a fairly normal thing for some parents, men in particular, for bonding not to be instantaneous. Quite a few men do not get there until the child is able to interact more. It’s something that should be talked about more openly.

As long as he’s doing all the things that are recommended for bonding, I don’t think you should guilt him about it.

I dropped my DP at the airport this morning, his last words as he got out the car were ‘I love you very much, look after my kids’ He was referring to our two cats!