Puppy

[singlemumhelp]

Good evening.
Monday my partner and myself ended uo getting a Pomchi puppy. She is 15 weeks old. She will be living between our houses depending on where we stay as we live seperate and gus work hours but it will be she spends most nights at mine and then she stays at his durn the day. My son he autistic and finds dogs very therapeutic but I couldn't take a dog on full time because we go away a lot. My partner never comes so he will always be around for the dog.

So we have had a few eventful nights and I have never had a puppy before. So both houses she has a crate and a seperate area just for her.
Monday night- she didn't sleep great, my partner ended up staying downstairs on the sofa but didn't let her out we she had lots of accidents. She had her water and food in cage too.

Tuesday night- she settled for 30 minutes on her own before I had to come down and spend the night on the sofa (she was left in cage but I just reassured I was there.) no accidents though and only had her water.

Wednesday night no accidents but again had to sleep downstairs with her:

Thursday night she settled for a hour than popped everywhere in her crate, was then jumping around in it so at 12.15 I was bathing a dog! And again didnr reallh settle.

So durn the day she is left for maximum of 3 hours. In that time she destroys the crate, her bed is soaking wet. Food everywhere.

My work friend has said that she has found with her dogs in the past that she doesn't leave water in cage overnight to stop accidents, until they sleep through she would give them blankets and towels not a big dog bed that they would get wet and pee on.. and would just leave them to cry all night:

I feel mean letting her whinge and cry for hours on end. But am I just teaching bad habits!

Also I only moved to my house 6 months ago and I stayed I had no pets. So I know I can get around it with saying it's my partners and it stays occasionally bur don't want to upset the neighbours. Her son is a policeman and she often whinges that the old neighbours would be doing things duen the day when he needed to sleep etc.

So any great tips for getting puppy to sleep through without me sleeping on the sofa every night.. and would you recommended no one water in crate overnight xx

What could possibly go wrong?

I highly recommend thus FB group - all the advice is from experienced behaviourists and trainers.
They have good guides as well - including 1 on new puppies and 1 on toilet training.
https://m.facebook.com/groups/dogtrainingadviceandsupport/

3 hours is a long time to leave apuppy

Bittom line is that it is nirmal for young puppies to need company at night, and a young puppy (especially a small breed) will need to go out to pee frequently during the day.

& this is why it is not recommended to have a puppy unless you have someone to look after them 24 /7. Do you mean you are in a rental house which says no pets and you have said it is your partner's and she stays over every so often.

She is very young and does not seem to be promised a stable introduction to her "family life"

If I am correct I can only say " I wouldn't start from here. " I think no water in the crate is the least of your problems. I think you should research puppy training and your partner could come and live with you for a while until she is somewhat housetrained and has got used to the house. Is that possible ( assuming you are allowed a puppy in your house. )

If the main reason is that your son would find a dog therapeutic but you could not take on a dog full time you are going to have to think long and hard about how you are going to look after this little dog & whether there is a better way for you DS to be introduced to therapy dogs.

I may be wrong and too harsh here but much of this I think you should have thought through before you got the puppy.

If I am wrong - apologies .

Please don't deprive puppy of water - especially in these temperatures!

That is very old fashioned and can be harmful.
Just like letting young puppies "cry it out"

Thank you for advice. This is what I am hoping to get from this page. Myself and my partner dotn live together. He works too much to have a dog fully and I enjoy holidays and days out with the kids.

So the setup is roughly 4 nights at my house amd 3 nights at his house. Then she stays all day at
His. Majority of the time our shifts cross so she is never left for too long, just the odd day she can be left for upto 3 hours. Wherever puppy stays the night we both stay the night as she then knows it's home and we take her blanket between the two and to make it as stable as possible. I get it is a unusual setup for some people. But I have researchers and it has been successful for people doing this in the past.

Yes mh house is a rental house. And when I moved in I stated i had no pets. If we stay between the two houses she wouldn't be deemed as living here and she is fully registered to be living at his address. We will never live together but this can be our baby to share.

I wasn't looking to be bashed I was looking for good honest tips that have helped people. Like for example o have put my tshirt in her crate and she's settled quicker. People are all going to have learnt tips and tricks and I just want to hear any great ideas that could help her and us adjust and settle.

I also don't want to make things worse by either leaving her to cry out or constantly be running every time she whinges at night.

Do you even take the dog out for a wee at night ?

And of the relationship flounders?

I'm sorry but I think the breeder is a disgrace to have allowed you to have a puppy as you are not giving it proper care and do not have a lifestyle suited to being a responsible dog owner.

Three hours is way too long to leave a young puppy. You're supposed to crate train them properly and gradually increase the time they spend in there, no wonder she's distressed.

At night it's perfectly normal to take them out for a wee in the night, you just don't chat, keep lights off (or use torch if necessary) keep everything low key and put back to bed.

You can't leave a puppy for 3 hours. You need to take them to the loo in the night whilst they're still small as their bladder can't hold wee all night. Definitely don't leave them to cry all night. Tbh your set up seems crazy and not well suited for a puppy or a dog.

Where did you get the dog? I'm surprised a breeder would ok a dog going to two homes.

@singlemumhelp

I was not trying to bash you but in all honesty it does not sound like an ideal set up for a puppy.

Is she from a reputable breeder , because if so they will probably take her back if you can't cope . If from a rescue centre then if you answered them honestly I would be surprised if they went along with your set up.

As a tip I would say do not leave the Puppy on her own for even 3 hours - make sure she is with at your partner's house or yours - not on her own. In the interim yes make sure she has something very familiar like a blanket etc , but she will need someone to take her out / put her out for a wee on a very regular basis. Also have a very regular ( once she has had all her injections etc ) walk between the two of you. 3 hours I think too long to leave a puppy.

I say this only half jokingly - I would be less worried about neighbour having a police officer as a son than I would about someone who works for eg Battersea Dog's home.

If you want my experience ( probably not great ) all my dogs have slept on our bed because I could not bear to hear them crying - but that means getting up several times in the night.

Also if she is registered to DP make sure he has registered to a vet. So she will need to be microchipped / vaccinations etc.

I cannot be dishonest I think this is a poor setup for the little dog - but Could she not stay with DP for a few more weeks and you visit ? Do think abut what she needs in all this. Puppies take a while to grow out of puppydom. Our latest nearly 2 and apart from bounciness just getting out of puppy stage.

IME Puppies are harder than babies to look after but I have had more puppies than babies.

The thing is what you are after is a very well adjusted happy dog , which being happy in a stable environment will help - dogs I think like routine. You will need to think about walks / socialising and the dog's routine.

I am not bashing you - I just think you have a very unusual set up here and not one I would have done - but others might say differently.

One more point if she is not "allowed" in your house have you considered what will happen if LL asks her to leave ?

@PuppyMonkey I missed your post - but how apposite

@singlemumhelp - I think you are being rather unkind to that puppy. You are not giving it what it needs - I suspect not from a proper breeder or a proper rescue place. & A puppy is not " your baby " . It is a dog and it has different requirements. No matter how cute a dog has requirements and if you can't be bothered to do that then I think you should give it to a rescue centre or to someone who can meet her needs. In all honestly I would report you to someone for how you are treating this dog. Not saying you aren't trying to be kind but you clearly don't have a clue about how to bring up a puppy .

This is disgusting 😡

That poor puppy😭I don't even know where to begin with your horrible post! Please rehome the puppy to nice people who don't torture her.

Take the puppy back to the breeder. Neither of you have the time for it and no you should never deny any dog water overnight, ridiculous.

If you have a no pet rule then that means no pets , dogs need access to water at all times , small pups cannot be left for 3 hours . It seems to me that you’ve not really thought this through and this puppy needs to be rehomed to someone who has the time and suitable housing for it .

@XelaM - we have had 3 puppies and under no circumstances would have had them in the way that the OP did - I agree with you - this young dog deserves a better life

@millerpie - I agree with you about the water - my guess is there is no reputable breeder involved here . I may be wrong. Our younger two the breeder wanted to see the ones we had before she would let them go to to us. ( Kennel Club approved breeder. ) Not quite the same - but may years ago we had rescue cats and we had to have a person come and look round our house to check it was OK.

I feel sorry for that young dog. It is not a baby - it is a dog and deserves to treated appropriately. Otherwise it is not giving that dog the best life it could have and that is unkind.

@singlemumhelp - please read some of these posts . A dog is not a baby. And it doesn't sound like you are treating this dog well ( call that bashing if you will , but dogs should be treated properly. ) I would suggest if you want to keep the dog it lives at your DPs house ( where it can do rather than hiding from LL ) and you could live there for a while to train , familiarise , socialise the dog.

A dog is not a baby or a toy. & that Jeremy is my final answer. 😉

JFC. Just shows that breeders will sell to anyone 😡

It's not a fking toy. Rehome 😡

@QueenBitch666 I agree absolutely with It's not a fking toy. Rehome 😡
& I would add - not your baby - it is a dog - with different needs,

That said there are breeders and breeders All of ours have come from a breeder who have Crufts champions ( so the Crufts thing not so important but they are properly bred dogs without any inbred illness / weakness in a long line and they will not sell to someone they do not believe will look after their dogs properly ( we do not want to show our dogs or breed from them. ) We had to go through a lot to prove we were responsible owners. That I think is different to someone who has bred a few dogs in their back garden. I say that as one who has a friend bred from his dog because £800 per puppy was a decent amount and he gave it to his daughter as a holiday job. Just not right in any way. The dogs were fine but not a proper breeder. A proper breeder will make sure all dogs are healthy and only go to homes they trust. Which is why I don't think this puppy has come from a proper breeder or a decent rescue centre. - Neither would think the OP's set up is at all good for the dog.

Poor dog.

I hate to say this but I really don't think you are ready for a puppy.

When we got our lab puppy, me or my partner sleep on the sofa next to him and took him out twice a night. 2am and 5am. This progressed to him sleeping downstairs on this own and is popping down taking him out and going back to bed. Then once a night and then when we were camping and he was around 7 months old he decided that he no longer needed to go in the night.

He's now brilliant at night and at 17 months can be left for around 4/5 hours in the day. But no way would I leave him for this long as a tiny pup and labs are fairly big dogs

I think you need to think about the time and effort it takes when they are little. Also having the same boundary's across both homes as he is probably getting very confused.

I don't claim to be any dog expert but we did so much reading when he was little about what he would need. Not he is pure joy for us but we are still in the puppy/teenager phase.

Have a think about a tiny pups needs and make sure all of these are covered.

The dog is from a proper pedigree breeder, we explained our setup and she had said as long as we are consistent and we put the same routine and same things into both houses and we both stay she'll be fine. They had been crate training the dogs, as well as they had been potty trained.

I am happy to stay on the sofa with her overnight, it's only my partner who believes we shouldn't as she's getting reliant on us every night to stay asleep. This is why I wanted opinions, and Google gives very mixed answers.

I have done as much research as I could, I am constantly on google but for example several site says yes take water away at night and some say don't. Different people have different opinions.

Of course I take her out for a wee at night. And I wait there for 10-15 minutes to give her the opportunity to go.

Technically I know landlords can't refuse pets now, and my letting agency and landlord are fairly
Good. If the ever said abe couldn't sleep over we would then have her sleep at his every night. I would stay there for w couple weeks but then we would be criticised that we would be lying to UC and claiming when I shouldn't be.

Walking wise she will be walked every morning by one of us.. as the plan will be to wall my kids to school with her and then we will walk hrt back to his house for the day. He usually starts work then at 12 until 10..: I finish at 1.15 so get back to her by 1.25. Then she spends the rest of the day with me, walk back to school to get the kids and go to the local park ( park will be once she's allowed to walk for longer as I do know until her legs are properly grown not to over walk as it can affect the ligaments and cause later problems.)

I work in a school so school holidays I have every day off, I have every weekend off. When I go away with my kids my partner will take the week off work to be with her. So we have planned this. But puppy training is just new to us. Same as when we had kids some things were trial ad error for establishing routines. No one child or one dog is the same.

I know she isn't a baby, but to us she is the baby of the family. She is ours, and I know lots of people who refer their pets to being like their chislren or baby so I do find that people feel it's weird that o refer to her as lie our baby. I know she is a dog as has different needs.

I am replying with her currently sat cuddle up on me as she was awake for the day rather early. She gets so much love and attention, just need to iron out building routines.

My autistic son needs routine so I am very structured in once we have a routine of sticking to it and making sure it carries on working. I am not perfect and have never had a dog to know best routines and things this is why I sought help.

I am not fussed about living next to a policeman, my issue is that he is 20 as buw mum has bashed the previous neighbours for noise and at
Times has said to me about the kids. We try to stay as quiet as possible. Sometimes things happen. I had a gardener who she told
Had to leave as he wasn't allowed to be making noise at 11am. So I just think she will be unreasonable if the dog barks, when it's not the dogs fault.

A pomchi isn't a breed so I don't know how you've found a pedigree breeder. I suspect that they're a backyard breeder and happy to give a dog to anyone willing to pay.

Please listen to the advice above.

She is a pedigree breeder. This litter of sofas was a mistake between her daughter st and someone else's so she loooked agree the Pups and dogs. But usually she breeds just one bred and is registered x

Those breeds can both be needy and difficult to toilet train. Might take a while for things to settle.