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Original poster

Puppy

61 replies

singlemumhelp · 08/09/2023 21:59

Good evening.
Monday my partner and myself ended uo getting a Pomchi puppy. She is 15 weeks old. She will be living between our houses depending on where we stay as we live seperate and gus work hours but it will be she spends most nights at mine and then she stays at his durn the day. My son he autistic and finds dogs very therapeutic but I couldn't take a dog on full time because we go away a lot. My partner never comes so he will always be around for the dog.

So we have had a few eventful nights and I have never had a puppy before. So both houses she has a crate and a seperate area just for her.
Monday night- she didn't sleep great, my partner ended up staying downstairs on the sofa but didn't let her out we she had lots of accidents. She had her water and food in cage too.

Tuesday night- she settled for 30 minutes on her own before I had to come down and spend the night on the sofa (she was left in cage but I just reassured I was there.) no accidents though and only had her water.

Wednesday night no accidents but again had to sleep downstairs with her:

Thursday night she settled for a hour than popped everywhere in her crate, was then jumping around in it so at 12.15 I was bathing a dog! And again didnr reallh settle.

So durn the day she is left for maximum of 3 hours. In that time she destroys the crate, her bed is soaking wet. Food everywhere.

My work friend has said that she has found with her dogs in the past that she doesn't leave water in cage overnight to stop accidents, until they sleep through she would give them blankets and towels not a big dog bed that they would get wet and pee on.. and would just leave them to cry all night:

I feel mean letting her whinge and cry for hours on end. But am I just teaching bad habits!

Also I only moved to my house 6 months ago and I stayed I had no pets. So I know I can get around it with saying it's my partners and it stays occasionally bur don't want to upset the neighbours. Her son is a policeman and she often whinges that the old neighbours would be doing things duen the day when he needed to sleep etc.

So any great tips for getting puppy to sleep through without me sleeping on the sofa every night.. and would you recommended no one water in crate overnight xx

OP posts:
tianabiscuit · 09/09/2023 19:36

Our dog is nearly 2 and sleeps well downstairs, but as a puppy she had a slightly smaller crate in our room. We didn't have space to gradually move her out of our room, so she went downstairs at around 6/7 months and was absolutely fine.

She went out for wees/poos twice during the night at that age - she was carried downstairs and then back up again so she knew it was still bedtime, not playtime.

MariePaperRoses · 09/09/2023 20:17

singlemumhelp · 09/09/2023 19:14

No I have been out today running errands and just sat down as my partner has the day off with the dog.

So she is on her crate 10.30pm-6am and 10-1.25 and then she is out the rest of the time.

I am getting her up at 6am as she is fully awake and take her out for a wee.. breakfast, encourage water and lots of play and attention.

She goes in the crate when he leaves at 10.. and I am back by 1.25.. sometimes he starts later so she will only be left for a hour before I return. School holidays I have every day off so she will not be crated duen the day at all unless we have to quickly pop out for doctors etc. I will say I am rather shocked at how many people are saying not to crate dogs for 3 hours... as I have known many dogs get left whilst parents have to work a 9-5 job. I have enquired though about someone to come in durn terms times to visit the dog for a hour on the days he starts at 10 sp she isn't left for the full 3 hours.

Every evening she has her evening meal at 6 same as kids, and then when the kids have gone to bed I sit with her brush and brush her every night to make sure she doesn't get matted and she is also booked in once a month at the local groomers once she's had her second jab.

The breeder usually breeds cocker spaniels. The pomeroan is her daughters dog who lives with herd the chihuahua was her sons dog who was visiting. So it was a genuine mistake.

I do get up duen the night to let her out for a wee when she is barking and have been sleeping on the sofa next to her crate as mentioned before. Ideally I don't want to be sleeping on the sofa long term hence why I was asking for help and suggestions.

She doesn't have food in her bed at night but with this weather I have made sure she has water; and have bought one do the dispensers that attaches to the crate to stop her jumping in it.

The breeder has been training the dogs around her children and grandchildren and she's been very relaxed with them; toys being left isn't a issue as my son doesn't really play with as it's mainly his iPad, but if he does they only play on their rooms not downstairs. He doesn't okay rough with dogs as has been around my sisters he enjoys the cuddles to calm him and he talks to her.

I am very tempted ti take the crate upstairs, my partner isn't keen but I will just do what I think is best.

' I will say I am rather shocked at how many people are saying not to crate dogs for 3 hours... '

That makes me feel physically sick.

How about you get in a cage for three hours?

You do not have the lifestyle to have a dog.

You do not have the dogs best interests at heart.

You have paid more attention to bushing the poor creature than you have given even one single thought for its emotional welfare.

I won't post again. People that get pets with your mindset make me very angry.

I see the dogs that have had to be rehomed from homes like yours and it's awful.

The breeder was a fool for letting you have the dog.

XelaM · 10/09/2023 00:20

MariePaperRoses · 09/09/2023 20:17

' I will say I am rather shocked at how many people are saying not to crate dogs for 3 hours... '

That makes me feel physically sick.

How about you get in a cage for three hours?

You do not have the lifestyle to have a dog.

You do not have the dogs best interests at heart.

You have paid more attention to bushing the poor creature than you have given even one single thought for its emotional welfare.

I won't post again. People that get pets with your mindset make me very angry.

I see the dogs that have had to be rehomed from homes like yours and it's awful.

The breeder was a fool for letting you have the dog.

Show quote history

This!!!!!

And OP you know some horrible people who leave dogs in crates all day.

Our dog is now 2.5 and extremely well-behaved, can be taken anywhere but can also left for a few hours. WE HAVE NEVER EVER CAGED HIM. When we leave he just sleeps on the sofa. To get a dog to be an "easy" well-trained dog, you need to put the effort in when they are a puppy and not just stick them in a cage for hours where they soil themselves and then remove water if they do. That's so cruel and horrible. Image being taken away from your mum and siblings (who all sleep cuddled up to each other) as a baby and then being stuck in a cage and forced to sleep alone in strange place(s). A dog is not a toy 😡

foxylab2023 · 10/09/2023 03:45

@XelaM do you ever leave your dog alone for 3 hours or have you ever had to?

What if there was an emergency and you needed to go, what would you do with your dog?

Crate training, if done correctly is absolutely fine. Sometimes people need to leave their dog e.g to go shopping, emergency, work etc.

3 hours in a crate is no different to 3 hours in the living room or kitchen, there is no difference about peeing in a crate to peeing on the living room floor

Do I think OP is leaving her dog appropriately for its age - no - in this situation I would personally be getting a dog walker to do a puppy visit after an hour. But it is ridiculous to bash crating when it actually, can be, safer for a puppy in certain situations

XelaM · 10/09/2023 07:05

foxylab2023 · 10/09/2023 03:45

@XelaM do you ever leave your dog alone for 3 hours or have you ever had to?

What if there was an emergency and you needed to go, what would you do with your dog?

Crate training, if done correctly is absolutely fine. Sometimes people need to leave their dog e.g to go shopping, emergency, work etc.

3 hours in a crate is no different to 3 hours in the living room or kitchen, there is no difference about peeing in a crate to peeing on the living room floor

Do I think OP is leaving her dog appropriately for its age - no - in this situation I would personally be getting a dog walker to do a puppy visit after an hour. But it is ridiculous to bash crating when it actually, can be, safer for a puppy in certain situations

Yes of course we leave him sometimes and he has the run of the house. He just sleeps on the sofa or in one of the bedrooms (we have a pet cam). He doesn't pee on the living room floor. 🤷‍♀️But then we never used to leave him for 3 hours as a small puppy and there absolutely is a difference between leaving a dog in a small cage (especially if he has to lie in his own wee/poo because puppy bladders are tiny) and leaving them to be able to walk around, change where they sleep, potter around a bit etc.

hdbs17 · 10/09/2023 11:21

Absolutely agree @XelaM

Our dog is the same, never been crated and we can happily leave him for up to 5 hours (very few occasions as I WFH). He's always had free roam of the house and garden and has never had an issue with toileting inside.

We have a pet cam when we do go out and he also just sleeps on the sofa or bed.

BasiliskStare · 10/09/2023 23:17

Your.breeder has given advice but she breeds spaniels . This dog is not a breed she is registered for I would guess. It is a dog because two dogs got together & she has a litter to "get rid of" - slightly brutal phrase but I am guessing she did not want accidental litter. Now that isn't necessarily a bad thing if she could have found appropriate homes. , but goodness - dog in a crate 8 hours at night . Also saying dog in a crate for 3 hours when people working 9 - 5. This is exactly why most responsible dog owners don't get a dog unless there is someone on hand all the time. We have dogs and DS really wanted one. We did not get one until one of us gave up work. Well - - I just think you are kidding yourself if you think you are looking after this dog properly.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 10/09/2023 23:25

singlemumhelp · 09/09/2023 05:43

The dog is from a proper pedigree breeder, we explained our setup and she had said as long as we are consistent and we put the same routine and same things into both houses and we both stay she'll be fine. They had been crate training the dogs, as well as they had been potty trained.

I am happy to stay on the sofa with her overnight, it's only my partner who believes we shouldn't as she's getting reliant on us every night to stay asleep. This is why I wanted opinions, and Google gives very mixed answers.

I have done as much research as I could, I am constantly on google but for example several site says yes take water away at night and some say don't. Different people have different opinions.

Of course I take her out for a wee at night. And I wait there for 10-15 minutes to give her the opportunity to go.

Technically I know landlords can't refuse pets now, and my letting agency and landlord are fairly
Good. If the ever said abe couldn't sleep over we would then have her sleep at his every night. I would stay there for w couple weeks but then we would be criticised that we would be lying to UC and claiming when I shouldn't be.

Walking wise she will be walked every morning by one of us.. as the plan will be to wall my kids to school with her and then we will walk hrt back to his house for the day. He usually starts work then at 12 until 10..: I finish at 1.15 so get back to her by 1.25. Then she spends the rest of the day with me, walk back to school to get the kids and go to the local park ( park will be once she's allowed to walk for longer as I do know until her legs are properly grown not to over walk as it can affect the ligaments and cause later problems.)

I work in a school so school holidays I have every day off, I have every weekend off. When I go away with my kids my partner will take the week off work to be with her. So we have planned this. But puppy training is just new to us. Same as when we had kids some things were trial ad error for establishing routines. No one child or one dog is the same.

I know she isn't a baby, but to us she is the baby of the family. She is ours, and I know lots of people who refer their pets to being like their chislren or baby so I do find that people feel it's weird that o refer to her as lie our baby. I know she is a dog as has different needs.

I am replying with her currently sat cuddle up on me as she was awake for the day rather early. She gets so much love and attention, just need to iron out building routines.

My autistic son needs routine so I am very structured in once we have a routine of sticking to it and making sure it carries on working. I am not perfect and have never had a dog to know best routines and things this is why I sought help.

I am not fussed about living next to a policeman, my issue is that he is 20 as buw mum has bashed the previous neighbours for noise and at
Times has said to me about the kids. We try to stay as quiet as possible. Sometimes things happen. I had a gardener who she told
Had to leave as he wasn't allowed to be making noise at 11am. So I just think she will be unreasonable if the dog barks, when it's not the dogs fault.

To be clear, simply Googling is not researching. Most of the nonsense you will find on Google will have been written by any old Joe Bloggs ffs.

SlipSlidinAway · 10/09/2023 23:33

The last dog we took on was an unwanted 12 week old Labrador. For the first couple of weeks I slept downstairs with him - on a mattress with him alongside me. Every time he stirred I jumped up and whisked him outside for a wee - probably about every 3 hours to begin with.

We then progressed to either dh or me staying up late with him and the other getting up very early.

Didn't take long to housetrain him. We never left him to cry. We never used a cage.

Please don't lock your dog in a cage all night with no water, no frequent trips outside and where he has no option but to relieve himself where he sleeps. That's horrible.

BasiliskStare · 10/09/2023 23:35

Look up puppy training / socialisation classes near to you . For our first puppy these worked a treat. But they do need time to take the little dog to them.

bunnygeek · 11/09/2023 10:44

I have an 8 year old PomChi who I took on just before Xmas. She came with separation anxiety and hates me leaving the room to go to the loo, there's absolutely no way I could leave her for 3 hours without her losing her poor little mind. She would toilet all over the house in her previous home when she was left.

Puppies need consistency, and I'm also not a fan of crates. They should only be used as a safe place for dogs to choose to go to when they need quiet time - not a place to cage your dog when you're not able to watch them. Right now your dog is likely beginning to view the crate negatively and associating it with being alone, scared and stressed. The exact opposite to what you want them to associate the crate with.

Being in two homes is going to be confusing for the dog, they thrive on routine. So if that living situation is going to continue, the training she receives in both homes should be identical.

You need to find a good puppy training class. See if there's a Dogs Trust Dog School near you: https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/dog-advice/dog-school

Dog Training Classes & Courses Near Me | Dog schools | Dogs Trust

Our training gives both you and your dog the skills you need to understand each other and build a rewarding life-long relationship. Find out more today.

https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/dog-advice/dog-school

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