Need to write a letter to my dog's breeder NEED HELP

[mumtokids]

Please help me construct a letter to my dog's breeder.

I have a dog that I bought privately from a breeder. The dog is 18 months old. For various reasons beyond our control, we need to re-home her. It was never our intention to give her up. Of course when we got her we expected to have her forever but life changes have meant that keeping her is not workable. We have tried 😥 but she would be much better off in a new home.

Before rehoming her, we feel that we should contact the breeder and explain the circumstances to them out of courtesy. However I don't how to say it! I suffer from anxiety and everytime I pick up the phone to do it, I panic and hang up.

I've decided to write a letter/email first as I might be able to explain it better. I'm afraid she will hate me and judge me. Can you help me write a kind letter explaining that we intend to re-home the dog and wanted to let them know in advance? After all they might want her back and rehome her themselves.

Thank you

It is a good idea because our dog breeder told us when we collected our Labrador as a puppy that if we ever wanted to rehome him, please let them know as they would want him. They said it with all their puppies apparently which I thought was really nice. Won’t lie, I did consider it once or twice when he was a troublesome adolescent but he settled down nicely.
I don’t know quite what you should write, sorry. But I definitely think it’s a good idea to let the breeder know how you are feeling.

Do you have a contract? It should say if you have to contact the breeder if you need to rehome. Are they a reputable breeder? If not don’t send the dog there. Is it a particular breed? Breed rescue would be the next step.

Normally with a decent breeder it's part of the contract for you to hand them back to the breeder.

I believe it is in the contract. Yes they are lovely reputable breeder whom I have been on constant contact with since we got the dog as a puppy. That's why I feel so bad. They won't have expected this.

DO NOT feel bad! Bad would be you muddling along and not admitting you couldn’t meet the needs of the dog. A decent breeder would want to help. They would have sympathy and definitely appreciate the hard decision to put the dog first.
Sending a gentle (un MN) hug OP!

I’d stick to the facts.

Something like
Unfortunately, X and Y have happened and sadly, we are not in position to keep ddog.
We wanted to let you know about it so you can decide wether you would like to have ddog back/rehome ddog yourself or let us rehome ddog. <adjust according to the TC>
It was a really hard choice to make and we are heartbroken about it but cannot find a way to make it work for ddog. It wouldn’t be fair on him and he deserves to have a good life with people who will be able to give him the life he deserves.

If you have been in contact and you believe the breeder will be surprised, I’m assuming this is something you can’t control. It’s crap but I’d hope the breeder would understand.

Thank you. I need a hug 😭

Thank you so much. This is exactly what I needed. Really appreciate it. ❤️

Oh bless you OP. I have been involved with rescue. I have nothing but admiration for anyone who makes the bloody hard decision that it is in the best interests of their pet to give them up. That’s brave.

What are your reasons for rehoming the dog?

Dear [Breeder's Name],
I hope this message finds you well. I am writing to you with a heavy heart as I have some difficult news to share. My family and I have decided that we need to re-home our beloved dog, [Dog's Name], whom we purchased from you 18 months ago.
I want to emphasize that it was never our intention to give her up. We absolutely adore her and it has been a heartbreaking decision for us. However, for various reasons beyond our control, we have come to the realization that keeping her is not workable.
Before re-homing her, we felt it was important to contact you and explain the situation out of courtesy. We understand that you may have a vested interest in the welfare of your puppies and may want to know about their whereabouts. We also understand that you may want her back and rehome her yourself.
We would like to assure you that we have taken great care of [Dog's Name] and that she is a happy and healthy dog. We are looking for a loving and caring home for her where she will receive the attention and care she deserves.
We would be grateful for any advice or assistance you could offer us in finding the right home for her. Please let us know if you have any questions or concerns.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]

It's many reasons. I have been diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disease. And my youngest daughter has been diagnosed with Autism. I had to give up my job. I am constantly in and out of hospital and can be bed-ridden for days. I never expected any of this. But I have to accept that this is my life now and it's unfair to her. We really have tried everything to make it work.

You don’t need to justify this. You have tried. Life has thrown things at you that you couldn’t have predicted.

I understand, I had to re-home my boy when DH had his stroke, I couldn't manage two babies, a husband who could no longer look after himself and a dog. Our lad came to us as a puppy from a rescue and we never thought we would have to give him up but we did. If it is any consolation our lad is very happy in his new home and is very loved, his new owners send the odd photo of him so I can see how he is doing. I wish you well @mumtokids.

Just write what you've just said in your letter. I am sure she will appreciate it. They must be good breeders if they have kept in contact. They may even take the dog back.

And I meant to say, our rescue found our boy's new family. Hopefully your breeder will be able to do the same.

Often reputable breeders have contacts in the breed and are aware of people who are looking for an adult dog. Please contact the breeder they may be able to help you and get a good solution for your dog.

DO NOT feel bad about this. My dogs breeder takes back dogs without any problem and also has it written into her contracts. On a different note, I have worked for a large UK charity Rehoming dogs, and we were always grateful tbh at people had the bravery and honesty to say they needed to rehome, WHATEVER the circumstances. It was not our place to judge, and car rather contact the breeder or a reputable rescue than re-sell on Facebook/the internet in any guise.

Apologies for typos - have a trapped nerve. We need an edit button on here.

I am so sorry to hear you have so much on your plate OP. Another unmumsnetty hug coming from me. You clearly love your dog and have his best interests at heart. Do not feel bad. I say this gently, only in case you hadn’t thought of it, but would doggy day care/a dog walker be an option to help you out? Apologies if it’s already something you’ve considered x

A good breeder will appreciate you contacting them and will in all likelihood have someone who they could re-home your dog to. They shouldn't judge, things happen and it can't always be helped. Sorry you're in this position but the breeder should be able to help.

Please don't feel bad - the breeder we got our second dog from knew we were looking for another "pup" as we'd contacted her. She had no litters planned but a few weeks later rang too ask if we might take an 8 yr old that she'd bred who was coming back to her because of a similar situation.

We took him - he was a star - and it was such a success that we continued to get rescues, 2 more directly from owners via breed rescue. There are plenty of people out there willing to offer a living home .

If the breeder isn't able to take the dog then try breed rescue. You are doing the right thing.

Thank you. Yes that's what we have been doing but it's not a long term solution. And some dog sitters are not available at short notice eg when I've been rushed to hospital.

Thank you all. I've sent the letter today. And cried. A lot. But this is a step forward. And I can try to concentrate on staying well.

Just an update: I wrote to the breeder first so it wasn't a shock and she was lovely and totally understood. We met up today and my dog has been reunited with her original family. I'm heartbroken but now our family can start to heal and move forward. A bittersweet happy ending.