Page 3 | Puppy regret

emzypo79 · 2022-12-12T19:10:30+00:00

Hi please be kind because im very emotional at present..my husband and children have always wanted a dog, me not so much but have agreed on this occasion, im now thinking ive made the biggest mistake of my life. She has been with us for just over a week, shes a 10 weeks old cavapoochon and all i've done is cry uncrontrollably since bringing her home..i dont know what to do.

Anawilliam850 · 06/01/2023 14:06

She would miss his mummy :c but it will pass, she must get used to it

Original poster

emzypo79 · 06/01/2023 19:18

How long wer u depressed for?.x

OP posts:

Mirabai · 21/03/2023 20:35

Tadpoll · 13/12/2022 11:45

This thread drives home to me even more the problem of people always wanting a puppy.

There are thousands of rescue dogs needing homes. In this case a slightly older rescue dog would have been a brilliant compromise.

Adopt don’t shop.

No this is a terrible advice. Rehomes are not some superior solution to animal ownership. They are animals who have lost their home and may well have been through trauma. To take on a rehome you should be experienced pet owner who is also experienced with behavioural issues in adoptions.

It’s by no means clear in this case if it’s simply a puppy OP can’t cope with or a dog full stop. If they potentially had to return a rehome it would have been a lot worse.

ParkrunPlodder · 21/03/2023 20:40

I definitely got the puppy blues. Lasted a couple of months for me. He’s two now and I adore him. DH did take the puppy to work with him for a few weeks when I was really struggling. I’m not a natural dog owner… hate training… but I love him to bits, he comes most places with us & Liver pate means he comes back when I really need him to.

FallingAsleepAlready · 21/03/2023 20:49

Tadpoll · 13/12/2022 11:45

This thread drives home to me even more the problem of people always wanting a puppy.

There are thousands of rescue dogs needing homes. In this case a slightly older rescue dog would have been a brilliant compromise.

Adopt don’t shop.

But it's so hard to adopt an older dog. Almost impossible if you have kids younger than teenagers, anything less than a big garden with a 3 metre high fence, ever go out to work etc.. And yes maybe noone else is an "ideal owner" but it doesn't stop people wanting dogs and buying puppies because otherwise they can't have the joy of a dog.

Also as a PP says, rescues come with their own issues. I know 2 people who had to return rescues to their foster homes. Don't know anyone who has given up a puppy - yes it's hard at first but they come out the other side.

VanillaImpulse · 21/03/2023 21:10

I gave mine back after a week. Best thing I ever did. Appreciated my home again, felt so free. It was a very expensive lesson as the breeder didn't give anywhere near what we paid back but it was worth it to not dread being at home anymore.

userxx · 22/03/2023 08:04

VanillaImpulse · 21/03/2023 21:10

I gave mine back after a week. Best thing I ever did. Appreciated my home again, felt so free. It was a very expensive lesson as the breeder didn't give anywhere near what we paid back but it was worth it to not dread being at home anymore.

Wow. That's bad.

MaireadMcSweeney · 22/03/2023 08:14

i cannot understand how you allowed yourself to be persuaded to get a dog when you don't want one and would be taking most of the responsibility for it.
The best thing to do will be to send her back before she settles. This will never work.

lotsofdogshere · 22/03/2023 08:28

puppies need owners who are committed to helping them be the best dog they can be. It means crate training (kindly not ever used as punishment) house training ever 15 mins, pups need to sleep 18-19 hours a day so routine important and, they need to be kept away from small children and carefully supervised when with them
poodle crosses look like Disney designed them. Their temperaments often can be predicted but neediness, resource guarding, separation anxiety aren’t uncommon.
‘my 2 year old lab has been more of a challenge than any of my previous dogs

breeders should be much more careful about prospective owners. Sadly that’s less likely with doodles, they’re money machines (I loved mine a rescue and a pup)
if you aren’t prepared, you haven’t researched and you aren’t 100 % sure, don’t get a dog

ParkrunPlodder · 22/03/2023 08:36

lotsofdogshere · 22/03/2023 08:28

puppies need owners who are committed to helping them be the best dog they can be. It means crate training (kindly not ever used as punishment) house training ever 15 mins, pups need to sleep 18-19 hours a day so routine important and, they need to be kept away from small children and carefully supervised when with them
poodle crosses look like Disney designed them. Their temperaments often can be predicted but neediness, resource guarding, separation anxiety aren’t uncommon.
‘my 2 year old lab has been more of a challenge than any of my previous dogs

breeders should be much more careful about prospective owners. Sadly that’s less likely with doodles, they’re money machines (I loved mine a rescue and a pup)
if you aren’t prepared, you haven’t researched and you aren’t 100 % sure, don’t get a dog

I would agree with all of that (and we have an -oodle dog!) Dogs, especially puppies, are really time intensive and it can be exhausting when they’re a pup. Even as an experienced dog owner, it was a shock to go back to the puppy stage. People are often ashamed to say they’ve made a mistake but it is often in the dog’s best interest. We rescued a pup from a near-puppy farm situation years ago now and tried to take him on ourselves for a few weeks, but we had a new born baby and he needed more than we could give even as experienced dog owners - so we approached a lovely dog trainer we knew who took him on with a view to helping him with his trauma and then rehoming him. Needless to say, she fell totally in love with him and he was a “foster-fail” and had already found his forever home.

Op, trust your instinct, if having a dog is not for you then speak to breeder. The younger your pup is the easier it is for them to find a new home and settle. If you like the idea of having a dog but finding it exhausting, then it’s likely the puppy blues and it does get so much easier when they grow up into dogs.

Original poster

emzypo79 · 23/03/2023 11:11

Update...
I wanted to let u kno that things are going well and settled dwn, i did return my pup to breeder as she is very much loved, we go puppy training every week. Dont get me wrong she still bites but is calming dwn..she will be 6 months old nxt week and still losing teeth..
I did find it very hard in the beginning, but i had other things going on too, i had just lost my sister the week she was picked up, eldest daughter was going through a breakup and he was chucking her out the apartment, (we are a 2 hour drive away so not easy to drop everything to help). My car had been cloned and used in lots of criminality..so yes i had other things going on and i put it dwn to the puppy but i do believe i was experiencing a severe case of puppy blues..im on anxiety medication and waiting for counselling, so i am trying my best to be a dog mum, thankyou to those who gave positive reassurance and to those who didnt well i hope u have a nice day...

OP posts:

Original poster

emzypo79 · 23/03/2023 11:12

*did not return

OP posts:

Hoppinggreen · 23/03/2023 11:13

userxx · 22/03/2023 08:04

Wow. That's bad.

Show quote history

It’s not bad, it was the responsible thing to do.

userxx · 23/03/2023 21:49

@Hoppinggreen Getting a puppy when you give up on it so easily is bad, I'd hardly call it responsible, it sounds like an impulsive whim. I've had spots that have lasted longer than a week. Fucking ridiculous.

VanillaImpulse · 25/03/2023 21:15

userxx · 23/03/2023 21:49

@Hoppinggreen Getting a puppy when you give up on it so easily is bad, I'd hardly call it responsible, it sounds like an impulsive whim. I've had spots that have lasted longer than a week. Fucking ridiculous.

It would have been "fucking ridiculous" to keep it. Taking it back so soon meant that he could be rehomed somewhere else and not be damaged by getting attached and then being rehomed at a later date.

userxx · 25/03/2023 21:55

@VanillaImpulse A week, c'mon. Did you not do any research whatsoever. You sound put out that you didn't get a full refund, like you would for a handbag. Hope the pup got his forever home.

Hoppinggreen · 26/03/2023 10:27

userxx · 23/03/2023 21:49

@Hoppinggreen Getting a puppy when you give up on it so easily is bad, I'd hardly call it responsible, it sounds like an impulsive whim. I've had spots that have lasted longer than a week. Fucking ridiculous.

So you think that keeping a puppy that you don’t feel equipped to deal with is more responsible than returning it to the breeder who will either keep it or find it a home that can cope and wants to?
You are wrong

userxx · 26/03/2023 16:40

@Hoppinggreen You're not catching what I'm saying are you ? Of course she shouldn't have kept the pup, that's blatantly obvious by returning it 7 days later. Maybe a bit more research beforehand would have saved them all the upset, by that I mean the dog.

Hoppinggreen · 26/03/2023 17:17

userxx · 26/03/2023 16:40

@Hoppinggreen You're not catching what I'm saying are you ? Of course she shouldn't have kept the pup, that's blatantly obvious by returning it 7 days later. Maybe a bit more research beforehand would have saved them all the upset, by that I mean the dog.

I am catching it thanks, just not agreeing.
She should not have got a puppy in the first place. Having made that mistake the responsible thing was to acknowledge it WAS a mistake and try and find the best solution FOR THE DOG, which she did.
So many people in similar situations soldier on because they are afraid to admit their error and the dog ends up growing up in an unsuitable home.
I don’t think that person behaved well and I’m not applauding them for their actions but I DO think that having realised what they had done returning the puppy was the best thing to do.