Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pets

Join our community on the Pet forum to discuss anything related to pets.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

16 year old and guinea pigs!

43 replies

EdenFlower · 17/03/2022 20:09

When dd was 13 she bought guinea pigs with her birthday money,. This was against my wishes because she had previous form a couple of years before for not remembering to feed pets. However, DH wanted her to have another chance as she was older. But, 3.5 years down the line dd is now 16 and it's been a constant battle, reminding her, pestering her to take care of them. At her age I now expect her to be fully responsible for them- she's old enough now, surely!

They are in an indoor cage with a fleece liner which requires a daily sweep out to keep the mountains of poo down! We expect her to top up their food bowl and hay before school, sweep out after school and give them greens. Then she needs to put the fleece in the washing machine at the weekend, hang it to dry and put new fleece liner in. We are in a constant cycle , and have been for the 3.5 years we've had them, where she looks after them well for about 2 weeks, then she starts to slack- first, she forgets the greens, then she stops sweeping them out and they are sitting in their house a pile of poo when I check, then she lets the water bottle go green, then she forgets to let us know they are out of supplies and it's a mad dash to the pet shop. Then we have to have the 'responsibility talk" again, or I lose the plot with her, or we threaten to rehome them, or we remove her allowance, or we ground her.. etc Then she is diligent for a week or two and the cycle starts again.

What are we to do? Are we expecting too much? I am torn between rehoming them and not because I feel rehoming is a cop -out, in my view a pet is for life unless you can't look after it- I don't know how to get her to take the responsibility - Tonight I've checked them and they were in a filthy mess. I've told her tonight I'm ashamed of her for leaving them in a filthy state and embarrassed to have a daughter that would do that to an animal. Maybe this was the wrong thing- I'm more ashamed of myself for trusting she was cleaning them.

OP posts:

Original poster

EdenFlower · 18/03/2022 13:34

Anyone?

OP posts:

Original poster

EdenFlower · 18/03/2022 13:34

Need some ideas please!

OP posts:

Albgo · 18/03/2022 14:03

Start looking after them properly yourself. Animals shouldn't have to suffer while a child learns a lesson or not.

TopTabby · 18/03/2022 14:12

I agree that you need to look after them yourself now, it will remove the stress of nagging dd & then having to do it yourself & ensures they are well cared for.
But I'd be seriously annoyed about this & with dh saying she deserved another chance knowing you'd have to pick up the slack.
I might also find I didn't have as much time for lifts for her etc because I've got the piggies to look after & maybe cuddle
Oh & I'd let her room become an absolute tip as well, she needs to learn SOME responsibility.

Kittykatmacbill · 18/03/2022 14:14

I think you should rehome them or take them on yourself. She obviously won’t look after them long term, there is no point pretending.

Beamur · 18/03/2022 14:16

I think you can only have pets for kids in the understanding that the adults are ultimately responsible for the welfare of the animals. If your DD isn't looking after them you have 2 choices, do it yourself or re-home them. It's not like doing laundry or chores where there are natural consequences. These are living animals, with relatively short lives - a few days in squalor is a big deal. I wouldn't keep giving her chances to be honest, the piggies are the ones that suffer, not her.

lalafam · 18/03/2022 14:21

My DC wanted guinea's too, promised they would help with them but don't. Ultimately we are the adults and we know it is a very real possibility that we will be responsible for pets. Me and DH just take it in turns to clean them out daily and make sure they are cared for. Just like with the fish they begged for and the family cat lol

Albgo · 18/03/2022 14:22

If you d

Albgo · 18/03/2022 14:24

If you do decide to rehome them, please do it via a reputable rescue (ideally a guinea pig specific one) - please don't do it via fb or gumtree or something.

bcc89 · 18/03/2022 14:35

You are the adult here. It's awful they've been left for weeks at a time without proper care.

Toomanycornflakes · 18/03/2022 14:44

I had this exact issue, but with Rabbits.

I too constantly nagged, and did the necessary care for the poor things, along with sanctions for my lazy tee - no screen time, loss of phone etc - same cycle, she would take care of them for a few days, then it would slip.

I bought a new build house and had to wait for the build to be finished. I told my daughter that I wouldn’t be taking the rabbits to the new house unless she started to take proper care of them.

I said you have two weeks to look after them properly, and if you haven’t stepped up then they are going to a rescue.

It got to day 13, and she had been no-where near them. So I packed them up the next day and took them to the rescue, explaining why to my daughter. Her 15 year old response was “well that’s not fair, you said I had two weeks to start looking after them, I was going to do it today” 🙄 This proved my point entirely.

I found a local rescue willing to take them (I made a donation to the charity) and dropped them off the next day. They found them a lovely home and are now very loved pets.

Had tears and tantrums for a few days, but then I think she was relieved that she no longer had the responsibility. It was the best for all four of us (rabbits included!)

I really questioned if I was doing the right thing, and actually cried when I dropped them off, but looking back it definitely was, and I would do it again. Suffice to say, there has been no more requests for pets other than the youngest wanted fish or a hamster. I just refer back the the rabbits and conversations stop.

Toomanycornflakes · 18/03/2022 14:49

Reading that back - I made it clear that they needed to be cared for by her solely for the next two weeks, and I would bring them with us. Not that she needed to start after the two weeks - hope that makes sense?

Nelliephant1 · 18/03/2022 14:52

Wow that last paragraph is harsh, unnecessary and a total over reaction.

You're not the first or last parent to be in this position and it sounds like you've turned these wee creatures into a battle ground in order to prove a point for their entire lives.

You've sucked the joy right out of having pets by the sound of it. These little ones don't deserve to be badly treated in order to shame your daughter.

2bazookas · 18/03/2022 14:58

You give her a final ultimatum;

Either, she steps up her act and takes full-time responsible care of the guineapigs with a high standard of gp welfare.

If she fails to do that, the guineapigs get rehomed to someone willing to take proper care of them.

hidethetoaster · 18/03/2022 15:03

You have to start doing it. When DD brought guinea pigs in this house, I secretly said to myself that when she turned 15 or 16 she would probably lose interest and they would be my guinea pigs in the end.

I wouldn't have had them in the house on any other basis.

Anyway they are very cute and I like their squeaky noises. Make your peace with them and start taking care of them

Palavah · 18/03/2022 15:06

I was your daughter and my mum took care of them when i didn't or nagged me. She suggested that my dad kill them to put them out of their misery if i wasn't going to take care of them.

I don't know what would have worked for me. Maybe denial of lifts or grounding from hobbies, or not buying me new clothes?

Lochroy · 18/03/2022 15:14

There's a vast difference between what interests a 13 year old and a 16 year old. She's not interested anymore. I'm not saying pets should in any way be regarded as disposable, but clearly the kindest thing for the animals here is that you either do it yourself or rehome them.

Mommabear20 · 18/03/2022 15:14

DH should take full responsibility for them as he was the one that wanted to give her another chance. If he won't then he needs to rehome then. The Guinea pigs shouldn't suffer for a irresponsible teenagers behaviour.

axolotlfloof · 18/03/2022 15:32

I think I was that teenager, and I just needed more support /reminding.
Children (even teenagers) are too young to look after pets alone.
Either help/support her to do it or rehome.

Original poster

EdenFlower · 18/03/2022 16:00

Just wanted to say the piggies haven't suffered for weeks because I'm monitoring her- (and constantly reminding) the piles of poo are only a few days of not sweeping it up- they poo a lot!

I disagree that 16.5 years is old too young for responsibility of a small animal?- she's virtually an adult! She's legally old enough to consent, almost old enough to drive, legally over the legal age to purchase an animal etc. I agree DH or I need to look after them- which we do anyway by default of forcing her to, because leaving animals neglected is not in our nature- only in hers! We are animal lovers so I can't even get my head round how she look at them and not do the best she can for them! I'm so upset with her!

OP posts:

VeganFuture · 18/03/2022 16:34

I don’t think 13 year kids should be given full responsibility for pets. My kids are extremely responsible with our animals but ultimately they are our responsibility, not theirs. They wouldn’t be allowed animals without us being fully on board.

But I’d feel the same as you do OP, utterly disgusted that she could treat them so badly. She’s obviously very uncaring and selfish to not look after them and if that’s her nature, I’m not sure you’ll change her.
To be honest, I’d just do it myself as I’d want to know it was done properly and with care, poor things. But honestly, I’d struggle to have a good relationship with my child that acted like that. It’s one thing to avoid or be lazy other chores, but when it’s animals, I couldn’t tolerate it, it shows a very unpleasant side of a person. I’d give her a very big lecture, tell her exactly what I think and then tell her she’s not to touch them. And obviously she will be having no more pets. If there’s anything that you do with her that she enjoys, that takes about the same time as feeding/cleaning the guinea pigs, I’d cancel it or stop doing it and tell her that’s because you need that time to look after the guinea pigs.

VeganFuture · 18/03/2022 16:38

Also, as she’s 16 now, I’d make her get a job, if she’s not going to clean them out and put food and water out for them, she can at least pay towards them.

BiscuitLover3678 · 18/03/2022 16:40

I looked after mine very well at that age. She’s being really irresponsible.

Does she actually want them?

I’d say if she doesn’t start then they need rehoming. That’s a lesson in itself.

Hannahthepink · 18/03/2022 16:58

Our family got some Guinea pigs a couple of months ago, and our children are much younger, so I fully took on their care with only a bit of help expected for fun really. Ours are also indoor with a fleece liner, but even I, as an adult, have days where my husband happens to get them done and I think 'ooh lovely, that's a nice break!'

Personally, I think that I would try sharing the load a little first. Perhaps you could do all the mornings, or every other day? Help with the big clean? At 13, she wouldn't have realised how much work Guinea pigs are, so I think it's a bit unfair to make threats now.

DoWhatYouLike · 18/03/2022 17:00

I think you need to look after them yourself. Your daughter is irresponsible, but the animals shouldn't have to suffer being neglected until she grows up. Don't ever get her any more pets.

Flip

1 2