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Original poster

Not enjoying new puppy

49 replies

Rosie5060 · 19/05/2021 13:29

Please don’t judge me but I got a new puppy who has been with us for a week and I’m really not enjoying it.

I’ve spent nearly 2 years researching and waiting for the right time for a puppy to join our family (I have a four year old). But I have spent the last week stressed and feeling way out of my depth. He is a cocker/cavalier cross and there’s some things he’s doing great and I know he is only 8 weeks so I can’t expect a lot from him but I am just feeling overwhelmed with being nipped, constant supervision, not listening to commands and listening to training. I’m struggling to bond and can’t help but feel like this isn’t pricing together nicely.

My son has spent the last week sat on the sofa playing on his tablet because he can’t be bothered to be jumped up at and trousers pulled. I’m struggling to give my son one on one time because I the puppy needs so much attention constant wee breaks, redirecting to toys, drop it, games.

I have even considered the unthinkable, returning him to the breeder. Has anyone else been through this? Can I get this back on track?

OP posts:
Overdueanamechange · 19/05/2021 13:32

If you are going to return him to the breeder please do it now, not in another 3+ months when he has got used to you (and damage has been done).
Puppies aren't for everyone.

Daisy829 · 19/05/2021 13:32

I think this is quite common to be honest. There’s a Facebook page called oodles of doodles that people are really helpful on. You’ve got puppy blues. I’m sure it won’t last long.

Overdueanamechange · 19/05/2021 13:33

Just re read your post, he is 8 weeks now and you have had him a week? That isn't even legal.

Wolfiefan · 19/05/2021 13:35

The puppy isn’t not listening to commands. You haven’t taught them yet. Confused
You need to separate dog and child.
Check out dog training advice and support for information. I find the puppy stage really hard. But I love having my dogs.

RatherBeRiding · 19/05/2021 13:36

Puppies are hard work and it doesn't sound as though you're up for it - not your fault, just stating the facts.

Please send him back now as the breeder will find it very easy to rehome such a young puppy and at least you will know for the future. I've only ever had adult rescues, whose needs are entirely different but DD and her partner have had 2 puppies, took time off work to get them settled in, slept downstairs until puppy settled, put in a LOT of training - it was extremely time consuming and, yes, puppies nip. A LOT! They are hard work.

No shame in admitting it's not working.

nimbuscloud · 19/05/2021 13:37

Don’t blame the puppy for your 4 year old sitting on the sofa on his tablet.

springblossom2 · 19/05/2021 13:37

@Daisy829 - no - it's not common to

a) Have an 8 week old puppy in the first place

b) Be fed up after only one week!

@Rosie5060 - give it back to the breeder now - I hope you can get your money back. A puppy needs a big commitment, and it doesn't sound like you are managing at all. It isn't 'just for a short time' especially if you're fed up after 1 week only Confused

300years · 19/05/2021 13:39

My sister got a puppy. Felt the same way. Returned him. I’m glad she did as I would have been tempted to get one maybe in the future. Now I know I am in no way cut out for the puppy stage.

LesLavandes · 19/05/2021 13:41

Did you get a puppy at 7 weeks?

bunnygeek · 19/05/2021 13:41

It's the puppy blues. Normal.

Go over to The Doghouse forum rather than here. There's a puppy survival thread on there.

Honestly, if puppies weren't so cute, no one would have them. Little fluffy balls of poop and teeth.

Puppies are extremely hard work, exactly like having another toddler, here's why a lot of rescues won't rehome to families with very young kiddies.

As others have mentioned, it's going to take time and consistent training before he learns any kind of instructions. In the meantime everyone needs to wear long baggy trousers, shoes or wellies indoors to prevent nipped toes, and carry a raggy toy in your back pocket to divert the snappy teeth.

Flaunch · 19/05/2021 13:42

Puppies are lovely but omg they are such hard work and I have to say it 8 weeks is just the start of it - it’s going to get much harder before it gets easier, I think my 14 week old is the actual devil sometimes 😂

There’s no same is saying it’s too hard for you at their point in you life but as PP mentioned do it now while the puppy will find another home easily.

GingerbreadPlease · 19/05/2021 13:42

Hi, I know what you are going through. It takes patience and work , puppies are unruly little things but you can teach him.
We got our girl at 8 weeks. Exactly the same, very nippy/bitey on feet, trousers etc.
We tried the high pitched "ouch" yelp but didn't work. What did work was initially turning our back after a firm "no!". After 2 weeks she'd improved but still doing it so we did "no! Timeout " and closed the door so she was in another room for 10 seconds, which she did not like and she has completely stopped.

She's 16 weeks now, hasn't bitten since, maybe 4 timeouts.
Tone of voice and consistency.
They don't speak the language so they learn one thing at a time. It was "no" and "good girl " , she seemed to get and has picked everything up well since.
It's really hard , much harder than I realised in those first weeks. No quick solution but be firm, consistent and lots of praise.

DarcyLewis · 19/05/2021 13:45

Give it back to the breeder now. The first few months are not enjoyable! You have weeks more of constant supervision, training and nipping.

HarrisMcCoo · 19/05/2021 13:45

It feels relentless at first but does honestly get easier.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 19/05/2021 13:46

Puppies suck balls.

Dogs can be lovely.

Send it back and rescue something over age 1.

Crappyfridays7 · 19/05/2021 13:53

Puppies do nip and bite and pull clothes and generally can be arseholes but they are also babies they don’t know any better.

Perhaps you are expecting too much. Your pup should sleep 18/20 hours a day. So if he’s exhibiting lots of these behaviours put him in a pen or crate and let him sleep. The minute he nips or bites etc when you’re playing stop the game. 8/9 weeks is v young to know commands he’s a baby. Be patient and kind and reduce your expectations. My puppy knew sit in the first week we did one thing per week lots of positive reinforcement and fun. Let him sleep, play once he’s woken up (after the toilet) then let him settle himself you don’t need to constantly be with him my 8 month old sleeps downstairs on his own at night or if we pop out, if you don’t trust him use a pen. Don’t allow him to rehearse problematic behaviours redirect and praise lots.

It’s very hard work and if your heart is not in it then he will know, dogs pick up on our body language. Return him soon so the breeder can rehome him ASAP. But I’m sure it’s just the puppy blues. It’s not like this forever

TokyoSushi · 19/05/2021 13:58

I think you need to decide fairly quickly. Puppies are hard work and apart from being unbelievably cute, there's not really much fun to be had at this stage. My DC were 6 & 8 when we got ours and they quickly both retreated to their rooms, away from the madness.

2 years on and he's the absolute love of all of our lives, but those early months are hard. You have to be prepared to go through the inconvenience to get a lovely dog at the end of it. If it's not for you, take him back now before it becomes more difficult.

Deadringer · 19/05/2021 14:10

He is a baby, behaving like a baby, but puppies are not for everyone. I wouldn't give up so quickly, could you give it another week? He will still be young enough to rehome.

idontlikealdi · 19/05/2021 14:10

Did you get him at 7 weeks?

What were you expecting?

A reputable breeder will take him back now better that that a couple of months down the line. He's a tiny baby.

Crazylikechocolate · 19/05/2021 14:23

He's just a baby doing what baby pups do , he's not listening to your commands or words because he hasn't yet been taught anything from you, that takes months , he's needing pee breaks because he's not yet housetrained , he's nipping because that's what puppies do , he's lively and active because he's a baby who is feeling well and as such has loads of energy.
At a week in you should be crazy about him and the endless possibilities that are the future rather than loosing your will to live , you will be kindest to him , yourself and your family to take him back to his breeder straight away.

HarrisMcCoo · 19/05/2021 14:25

Just to give you a wee bit perspective, we have a St Bernard puppy so she used to be bad for jumping up, nipping and biting. This rarely happens now, but she's big compared to your average pup.

Original poster
Rosie5060 · 19/05/2021 14:34

Sorry he’s 9 weeks now I literally have puppy brain 🤯

I am going to get a pen so puppy can play with some toys in a safe environment when we can’t completely supervise. I thought I he could be part of the household straight away but that was clearly unrealistic.

I feel like a terrible dog owner, I feel so guilty for not enjoying him. My brother in law has 3 spaniels which I adore, well rounded dogs and they made it look easy making them that way. Maybe I’m not as much of a dog person as I though I was.

OP posts:
wearetheweirdosmr · 19/05/2021 14:35

Well you obviously didn't 'do your research' or you would have expected this.

countrygirl99 · 19/05/2021 14:37

Tbh it's a bit like complaining a 3 month old child still needs a nappy and can't hold a conversation about current affairs.

Original poster
Rosie5060 · 19/05/2021 14:45

I did do a lot of research before getting a puppy and I’ve put as much into practice as possible. He’s doing well at toileting outside, he settles nicely in his crate and doesn’t cry in the night, I am learning to follow his cues when he’s tired and needs naps, he understands sit, lay down and sometimes drop (depending on what he’s got). There’s a LOT going right for this baby.

You’re right I just need to decide quickly if I want to continue as he’s clearly a lovely dog. Just a stupid owner.

OP posts: