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Original poster

would like a pet for teenage daughter..DH is not a pet person..

28 replies

Louisesp82 · 12/04/2020 20:51

Just that really..my daughter is an only child, and would love a pet, but partner is just not keen on animals.
hamsters were agreed on in the past, but unfortunately lost them to wet tail. A dog or cat would be amazing, DH does not engage in conversation about this any longer, and it's his house too..has anybody been in this position, and was there a comprise?
Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Ragwort · 12/04/2020 20:57

I don’t think there can be a compromise, it is really unfair to bring a pet into a home if one person really doesn’t want it, my DH would love a dog, I absolutely would not.

The vast majority of children that they say they want pets end up losing interest and the parent (s) have to do all the caring, is that what you want or are you just trying to fulfill a perceived need for your DD?

How old is your DD? As she is a teenager she could help a neighbour by walking a dog or volunteer for the Cinnamon Trust?

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 12/04/2020 21:05

If your DH isn't keen, then a small animal is your best bet, as it's quite contained. My 16yo DD loves her gerbils - they're fun because they like to climb over her, they dig elaborate tunnels (buy a tank not a wire cage, otherwise they'll kick out their wood shavings) and they love shredding any cardboard boxes you give them.

I hear rats are also fun pets. They need a bigger cage, though, and may live longer?

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 12/04/2020 21:10

I'm saying that from the point of view of not being a pet person myself. I absolutely wouldn't have a dog or a cat, but DD loves animals and would like to be a vet, so I tolerate the small animals. She has a Syrian hamster, dwarf hamster, two gerbils and a corn snake! Next on the list is guinea pigs... They require minimal attention from me - oh yes, the other thing I was going to say about gerbils is they're much cleaner (less smelly) than hamsters, being desert animals. You can clean them once a month if they're in a fairly big cage/tank.

Original poster
Louisesp82 · 12/04/2020 21:34

Thanks for your replies:) my daughter is almost 13, I have thought previously about volunteering and having her with me to do it..gerbils are looking as a good candidate for house pets now!x

OP posts:
RUSU92 · 12/04/2020 21:44

Cats are so low maintenance that even if she loses interest, not a lot of actual care will fall to anyone else! I have litter trays for my two cats, but they prefer to slink off and crap in the flower beds down the lane near my house, so I rarely have to empty them! Feed them twice a day and make sure someone comes to feed them when we’re away. Otherwise not a huge amount of work involved. With gerbils etc you have to actively choose to get them out and play, clean their cage etc. as well as feeding and watering. I’m sure that small animals are more of a commitment than a cat. And not as affectionate in my experience. Could your H be persuaded if he didn’t have to get involved? I know a lot of people who have been dead set against getting a cat/dog etc but when they arrived they ended up falling for them.

My DP as adamant he didn’t want a cat, but his neighbour’s cat kept visiting and eventually the neighbour said the cat could live there if it preferred. The cat now sleeps on DP while he’s watching Tv and he gets quite soppy about it Grin

Shadowdoor21 · 12/04/2020 21:47

Guinea pigs?

Remember she might be off to uni or wherever else in 6 years or so so take into account lifespan.

Ninkanink · 12/04/2020 21:49

Rabbits would be lovely. They make really wonderful pets and are much more interactive than gerbils. Our rabbit was like a little puppy and and had full run of the house and garden.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 12/04/2020 21:53

Get your DD to research it herself. My DD watched loads of videos by owners of different pets - it gave her ideas of what she wanted and how fun it could be.

ShouldWeChangeTheBulb · 12/04/2020 21:55

I’ve had almost all small pets over the years and my vote is rats or mice every time.

Hannah021 · 12/04/2020 21:55

I'd loveeee a talkative parrot... I just live alone and know know they stress, and i work outside for long hours

TemoraryUsername · 12/04/2020 21:55

I'm a pet person and have had all the pets mentioned on this thread so far - I definitely second gerbils! I'd caution against rabbits, they're not as friendly or easy in my experience not in my vet's opinion. But if it's something needing a cage, get proper advice on how big the cage needs to be - it's much bigger than you think.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 12/04/2020 21:56

I think in terms of affectionateness, a lot depends on how gentle and patient you are with the animal from the beginning (and how old it is when you get it).

BookWitch · 12/04/2020 21:58

Another vote for rats. Very easy, great little personalities, Very clever.
We've had rabbits, Guinea pigs before and we've looked after hamsters for friends, but rats win hands down.

I was dubious and dh was very reluctant, but dd convinced us and we wouldn't be without them.
They sit on my shoulder and watch tv with us.

Ninkanink · 12/04/2020 22:00

Oh yes we had rats too and they were lovely. But our rabbit was the best.

Wolfiefan · 12/04/2020 22:02

I wouldn’t get any pet for a child. They tend to lose interest.

Randomdogbite · 12/04/2020 22:07

Our rats are amazing, we all love them!

hellsbells99 · 12/04/2020 22:13

We have had several pets over the years. I would definitely go for a cat as the easiest.

PlanDeRaccordement · 12/04/2020 22:18

I agree with Ragwort.
A pet is not a necessity to childhood development. It is unfair on your DP to bring a pet into the home as he is not a pet person and is resolutely against having a pet.

I’d look into your DD getting interaction with pets in other ways. Once all this lockdown is over, she can walk dogs or feed/care for house pets while owners are away in holiday.

rosy71 · 12/04/2020 22:18

Gerbils, definitely. They're not as vicious as hamsters, don't smell and live longer. They are fascinating to watch as they make tunnels in their cages. We have had a few. You need a pair though; they aren't happy alone. Last time though we had 2 females and they kept fighting so had to be separated. The males we had didn't do this. I dont know if females are more likely to fight or if it was just bad luck.

AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings · 12/04/2020 22:26

Maybe a pedigree cat that's bred to have an amiable temperament or doesn't shed, an automatic chip reading cat flap, a robot hoover that sucks up pet hair and an automatic litter tray?

That way a lot of the work aspect is automated and your dh doesn't need to get involved.

I would have loved a cat a a lonely teen and it would have improved my mental health no end

Elieza · 12/04/2020 22:42

Try the Walk my doggie website. )I think that’s what it’s called) That way she can ‘have’ a dog but not have any of the associated hassle of it living in your house. After a while dp may get used to the dog and give it a wee pat and before you know it he’ll be looking forward to its visits and coming round to the idea of getting one of your own...?! 🐶

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 13/04/2020 06:14

From what I've heard, you're right, rosy71 that girls are more likely to fight. It's been our experience with dwarf hamsters, too. We had two gerbil brothers lived happily together for 3 years, then one got slightly ill and the other didn't like it because apparently the ill one changed smell. They started fighting and we had to separate them. They lived on for months after that. I think an interesting cage and daily attention helps against loneliness if you've just got the one - presumably you know that OP from having a hamster.

duletty · 13/04/2020 07:08

Guinea pigs are sweet things, they chitter and wheek at you, don’t bite and I think make great pets. They are a good size too.
Cats- love them, our one at moment is murderous though 🤢
Dog- love them but big commitment like having another child (that’s why I got her 😁)

Lowprofilename · 13/04/2020 07:15

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Lobsterquadrille2 · 13/04/2020 07:16

I knew that DD would be an only child and our cat joined us when DD was seven (she's now 22). Far from losing interest, she tells the cat daily that she loves her and all through university, I was asked to provide photographs ... so that was be dependent on the child. I'm a sole parent who often worked long hours and our cat was DD's company until I came home, during teenage years. She (cat) is no trouble, out all day, very affectionate, oddly scared of birds. However I didn't have to get anyone else's approval. I suppose I agree that one person's dislike trumps another's preference. A cat isn't really an animal you can borrow for a week, either.

I've had gerbils in the past so that could be a good compromise. Although our hamster was less bitey. I also have a friend with a house rabbit who runs all over the place.