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Original poster

Dog nightmare

40 replies

poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 07:58

Hi all. I've had dogs before my kids were born. They were well behaved and didn't cause me much stress. We decided to get a puppy a few weeks ago and decided on a Supposed 9 month (turns out he's 11 months), well trained, great with kids Bichon. Since he came, it's been hell. He's not trained at all and it seems he's been able to do what he wants. We ve had to teach him very basic commands. He barks every time we leave the room and I can't go out as the neighbours have already mentioned it. He's destroyed so many things already. He's not neutered (I don't know why he hasn't been yet) so I am booking this in next week. He's poohed and weeed inside numerous times despite regular toilet breaks and me being attentive if he needs to go out.
The worst thing is my daughter is getting very upset as he constantly humps her leg every time he sees her she is afraid to cone out of her room. He's literally taken over our lives.

I knew getting a dog wouldn't be easy but was led to believe this dog was well trained.
My question is will neutering stop this behaviour?
He's 11 months so not really a pup any more.
I'm exhausted.

OP posts:
Wanderer1 · 16/02/2020 08:02

Neutering will not stop the behaviour unfortunately although it might help a tiny bit re the humping. A lot of vets recommend not neutering till 12-18 months old so not surprised that he isn't done yet.
You need to get him to puppy training class ASAP and maybe have a few 1-2-1 sessions at home with a trainer too. The whole family need to be consistent during the training. It will be possible to train him to be a nice dog but it is likely to take a lot of work and be harder than if you'd got him as a tiny puppy.
The best thing about dog training is that you get back what you put into it so it never feels like wasted effort.
Good luck

Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 08:09

Also he's going for at least two walks a day. We have a garden and he has lots of toys etc.

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Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 08:10

Thank you Wanderer x

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missyB1 · 16/02/2020 08:12

11 months is a tricky age to have to start the training but it can be done. As wanderer said you should think about investing in some one to one sessions with a recommended trainer. It’s going to be a big commitment and hard work for a few months at least, but if you all work together you can turn this around.

bodgeitandscarper · 16/02/2020 08:17

It used to be routine to neuter at six months, and I always find it helps with unwanted marking and sexual behviours providing the behaviours haven't been established for years. Id have a word with your vet, Im sre plenty would be happy to neuter now. As for everything else it all boils down to training and consistency. Youll get there!

Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 08:19

Thank you so much both for being informative and non judgemental. I honestly am trying my best but I can't bear seeing my kids so miserable because of it when it was supposed to be a positive thing..

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Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 08:21

Hes also nipped the children (10,8,6) and hurt dd yesterday on the hand. Luckily it didn't break skin but left a mark.

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MetallicPaints · 16/02/2020 08:40

Where did you get the dog from? I don't think this dog sounds like a good fit for your family. If its from a decent rescue they should be willing to have it back if things aren't working out for you. I'll get flamed now from posters saying you should never give up on a dog, you have a responsibility to train it and put all the work in etc. And you certainly could try. But you might never get there. We've been through this and its very hard but we couldn't keep our dog in the end, he just wasn't right for our family, his needs were too great despite being told otherwise, we couldn't give him what he needed.

Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 08:55

Metallic, an older lady's family as she was getting ill. I know what you mean and I'm on the verge. I cannot let a dog take over my house and life. I have 3 kids who are too upset yo freely move around their own home.

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Booboostwo · 16/02/2020 09:02

You say the dog came from an older lady who is getting ill so it is very likely that she was unable to socialize and train the dog properly. That makes for the worst foundation for later life. The dog is now at the difficult teenager stage without a proper foundation and this is showing.

From what you say this dog has multiple issues. Some may be resolved quite quickly by going back to basics, e.g. with regards to toileting treat him like a young puppy. Other issues may be much more difficult, e.g. he sounds like he has elements of separation anxiety.

The best thing is to decide now whether you and your whole family want to commit to this dog, which will be a demanding and long term commitment, or whether it is best to give the dog to a reputable rescue.

If you decide you want to work with the dog the whole family needs to learn how to train him. Get him neutered, get him into training classes with a trainer who uses positive reinforcement, arm yourselves with treats and clickers, toilet train him like a puppy and see where you are with the separation anxiety once the dust settles.

Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 09:04

Thanks for this Boo, I think it is spot on

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Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 09:05

Should I inform previous owners if we do and what should we say?

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Beamur · 16/02/2020 09:07

No judgement from me. It's sounds like you were misled about what you were taking on.
With 3 young children have you got the time to put into this? I would seriously reconsider rehoming if you don't. He's a young dog and a desirable breed won't struggle to find a new home.
I'd wait until your children are slightly older and either get a puppy or a steady older dog from a proper rescue.

Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 09:09

Thanks Breamur. I bought him for £300 and spent lots so far on stuff for him. If I decide this I'm going to be very honest in the advert.

OP posts:
Booboostwo · 16/02/2020 09:09

I think you should inform his previous owners just in case they want to have him back. Just say that the dog has too many issues and you cannot commit to retraining him.

A breed specific rescue may be his best chance at getting the individual attention he needs. Kennels will be very tough for a dog that has probably spent all his time with the same person and cannot be left alone.

Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 09:09

He's also pedigree and KC reg

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HairyString · 16/02/2020 09:10

When you have him neutered ask if they can chmically castrate him as well so you get the effect sooner.

Get a DAP plug in so he is surrounded by feel good pheromone.

Get him a crate and make it his safe space not a punishment zone. Get as big a crate as you can and put a very comfortable bed in it with lots of nice things in that he will enjoy.

Train him train him and train some more. Everyone in the house needs to be on board with the training but once the hormones recede he will be able to concentrate better on his training and he should eventually become more the dog you hoped for.

Veterinari · 16/02/2020 09:11

I'd strongly suggest not neutering this dog
He's displaying signs of significant anxiety
The destruction and humping are likely not him being 'naughty' they are him absolutely panicking at being left alone and then seeking reassurance/being excited when you are around.
positively.com/contributors/why-does-my-dog-hump-everything/
Neutering can make a highly anxious dog much worse.

Has he ever been alone/trained to self-settle?
www.dogstrustdogschool.org.uk/training/i-want-to-train-my-dog/settle/

I'd seek a professional behaviourist for support

Booboostwo · 16/02/2020 09:11

You cannot advertise him or sell him OP! He would attract the wrong person, especially as he is entire! Forget about the 300 quid, to be honest you have been terribly naive about the whole thing. Surrender him to a decent rescue and hope someone else has to time to spend on sorting this poor little dog out.

Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 09:12

Thanks vet, that's interesting. I've been trying to leave the room for short periods but he starts whining as soon as. If I close the front door he starts barking until I come back in.

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Booboostwo · 16/02/2020 09:14

It is very likely that he spent all his time with his previous owner, given that she is elderly and unwell. He has probably never learnt to be alone and he is well outside the puppy socialization window, so it is very possible that he has separation anxiety.

TARSCOUT · 16/02/2020 09:17

You have an 11 month old horny dog who has gone from being king of the house with1 person who let him do exactly what he wanted to bottom of the pack in a houseful of people. He is scared and bewildered and wants to go home If you are going to keep him you need to start training and it is easy to train a dog whatever age they are if you are dedicated enough. I would recommend you book in for some 121 training asap.

Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 09:17

OK Boo but could someone with experience not want him?

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Original poster
poloarpanda123 · 16/02/2020 09:19

Thanks for all the advice everyone. I'll have to think long and hard!

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bbcessex · 16/02/2020 09:21

Hi OP,

Please, please, please do not sell this poor little dog on.

If you decide you can't help him (and it does sound like you have decided), please seek a very good dog rehoming service.

Sounds like you have underestimated how difficult it could be for a young dog to re-settle. He needs patience and care now and you should get expert guidance.