Dog nightmare

[poloarpanda123]

Hi all. I've had dogs before my kids were born. They were well behaved and didn't cause me much stress. We decided to get a puppy a few weeks ago and decided on a Supposed 9 month (turns out he's 11 months), well trained, great with kids Bichon. Since he came, it's been hell. He's not trained at all and it seems he's been able to do what he wants. We ve had to teach him very basic commands. He barks every time we leave the room and I can't go out as the neighbours have already mentioned it. He's destroyed so many things already. He's not neutered (I don't know why he hasn't been yet) so I am booking this in next week. He's poohed and weeed inside numerous times despite regular toilet breaks and me being attentive if he needs to go out.
The worst thing is my daughter is getting very upset as he constantly humps her leg every time he sees her she is afraid to cone out of her room. He's literally taken over our lives.

I knew getting a dog wouldn't be easy but was led to believe this dog was well trained.
My question is will neutering stop this behaviour?
He's 11 months so not really a pup any more.
I'm exhausted.

No, OP, no one with experience would pay money for him because he is a very demanding dog with a lot of difficult behaviors, who will require a lot of time and effort with no guarantee that he will come out the other side. Separation anxiety is a particularly difficult issue that doesn't always respond to training. Separation anxiety plus poor socialization is a bit of a nightmare. Someone with experience would be doing you a favor taking him off your hands.

However, loads of unsuitable people will want him because he is pedigree and entire so they can breed from him. He is a puppy farmer's dream. He could only be improved upon in terms of puppy farming if he was a bitch.

Whatever else you, do not re-sell him. He needs the right family for him and only a rescue can find him that.

Definitely try 1:1 training and after that make a decision.

I really think that is the only choice you've got.

OK it sounds like I may need to rehome. I'm going to talk to the vet next week. I will do my best to try and find a good dogs home him can go and admit I made a big mistake.

Poor pup, please do not sell him. A good rescue is his only hope. They will properly vet his next, hopefully forever, home and ensure he ends up with an owner who knows what they are taking on and are prepared to give him the support he needs.

You need to write off the money you've spent as a lesson learned.

Some great advice on here. I agree with back to basics on the house training, as if he's a puppy, out after food, long drinks, whenever sniffing and circling, after every sleep. Don't speak wait for him to toilet, then praise give tiny sliver of high value treat like cheese/chicken/hotdog. Back inside. repeat every hour or so.
It sounds as though he's not been left alone so separation anxiety is an issue. You haven't mentioned crate training, it's worth a try. Read up and crate train, feed him in the crate, leave the door open during the day, throw the odd treat in so he can go in, find it and come out. Give him in the crate, maybe put his kibble in a kong, mixed with a bit of cream cheese or similar so it takes a while to get it out. That will tire him because its mental stimulation. You can use the crate when he's over tired not as a punishment of course but so he sleeps and you can all relax for a bit.
Join a training class or if you can afford it, get a good trainer/behaviourist in to help. If he's insured, your insurance will pay if your vet supports this
If you decide he's not right for your family, please re-home him through a breed specific or other recognised charity. As others have said, he's a puppy farm dream given his pedigree and breed. Best of luck x

Google comes up with Bichon Frise rescue UK
www.bichonfriserescue.co.uk/page_1290989.html

I don't know this rescue personally but they are KC registered, have been helping with BFs for 50 years and rely on volunteers so the dog wouldn't go to kennels. They also offer advice on the breed. Maybe give them a call?

Thanks boboo. Defo will have a go!

You say that you've only had the dog a few weeks, that is no time at all for the dog to settle. Id give it more time, hes bound to be insecure to start with.

@poloarpanda123 I've just come back to this thread to read your updates. Separation anxiety was one of the issues our dog had which we were not told about. Whining as soon as we were out of sight, barking if we tried to leave him. Its an extremely difficult problem to solve, it can be done but as I said before there are no guarantees. There's a great Facebook group called Dog Support and Advice which will give you plenty of advice and support if you decide to go down this route. For us, I knew it was too much with his other issues.
You have the added problem of the dog being aggressive towards your children (I'm sure this comes from the anxiety but this doesn't mean that's Ok) which would have been a complete no for me. A dog should add to your family in a positive way.
I sound cold hearted but believe me I was heart broken when we had to give our dog back, we all loved him and wanted to do the right thing by him which ultimately meant giving him the chance of finding the right home before we all became too attached, and him to us.
Good luck whatever you decide but do not feel guilty if you need to approach a rescue to rehome.

Sorry that Facebook group is called Dog Training Advice and Support

As he is KC registered I would strongly recommend that you try to contact his original breeder.
If they are a decent breeder they will want to help the dog find a suitable home and he would have been sold to the previous owners with a contract along those lines.

Thanks all. I'm in talks with my sister who may be able to have him. She has a lot more dog experience than me, has a good vet friend and at least I'd know where he'd be going. She works from home so can be around.
I messaged the previous seller and have explained everything this morning. I haven't heard back!

Thank you all for your advice. Hope we can get this sorted for little boy soon to cause him least suffering.

Booboo is right in everything she's said. Please don't advertise this very vulnerable little dog. He's had a very difficult start in life and naturally has issues. I feel you are right to rehome him if you are realizing that in a busy family you just don't have the time to train him properly.

Plenty of people replying to adverts are very good at pretending that they have the dog's interests at heart. Despite the pedigree no reputable breeder would want a dog whose past was presenting problems. That leaves breeding farms who would love to get their hands on a kennel club registered dog to breed from and you sound too responsible and caring to risk that happening.

The best solution for rehoming is a breed rescue centre if your sister can't take him. If she does, or you decide to keep and train, as others have said, it's back to puppy basic training with lots of time, patience and rewards.

Good luck with a difficult decision op

@TARSCOUT

I'd strongly suggest that you don't show your own ignorance by attempting to give advice on something you evidently know nothing about 

@poloarpanda123
Your sister should only commit to this dog if she genuinely has the time to counter-condition an animal with severe generalised anxiety +/- the finances to afford specialist behavioural advice.
Otherwise a breed specific rescue might be your best option. He needs specialist behavioural support/possible medication if you can't even leave him alone in a room.

It would be great if your sister were able to have him. How experienced is she with retraining? The separation anxiety in particular is a tough one. I have to admit I would not knowingly take on a dog with separation anxiety and I have worked with or even lived with if a solution could not be found, dogs with a variety of behavioural and/or physical issues. He may improve with training, stability and possibly medication, but if he doesn’t his needs could end up taking over your sister’s life.