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Original poster

What's the most embarrassing thing your dog has ever done?

62 replies

SixKindsOfCrisis · 27/07/2007 10:34

Here's a fairly standard episode from My Life With Dogs:
My last dog was a foodie. One Sunday morning he broke into someone's garden to steal food they'd put out for the birds. He cruised around eating crumbs and I had to break in too, to retrieve him.
Owners were eating breakfast behind their French windows and saw everything, but considerately pretended to be so engrossed in The Observer that they hadn't noticed me.

OP posts:
JeremyVile · 27/07/2007 10:39

My dog when i was a kid, got humped by some ugly mutt then when they tried to disengage, their arses got stuck together - wtf?

I was about 13 and utterly mortified, it was in bloody public and people were sniggering (i was crying out of shame).

They were stood sort of arse to arse like a push me-pull you, everytime one of them tried to walk away the other one would yelp an get pulled backwards!

Nbg · 27/07/2007 10:40

My dog pissed on my foot.
Cocked his leg up and everything specifically aiming for my shiny new shoes.

That was pretty embarrasing.

Magicmayhem · 27/07/2007 10:43

at jeremyvile....

milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo · 27/07/2007 10:43

Tried to shag a friends dog in my lounge and ejaculated across my new woodburning stove

purplemonkeydishwasher · 27/07/2007 10:45

my Dh's dog went up to their neighbour's french doors and cocked his leg. peeing AT them as they ate dinner.

Original poster
SixKindsOfCrisis · 27/07/2007 10:45

"ejaculated across my new woodburning stove"
Not a phrase I expected to encounter during my life

OP posts:
milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo · 27/07/2007 10:47

SKOC

He did the same thing in the back of another friend's Mercedes - I need to get him done

Magicmayhem · 27/07/2007 10:47

My dog got stuck in some brambles while chasing a rabbit.. she was on a long training lead and couldn't get out. I had to wade in about 12 foot and scoop her out. I was stung to peices (sp?) and was cut to shreads... I'm sure people thought I'd self harmed when they saw my deep scratches.

Ohh.. this was the day after she'd pulled me over and grazed my legs and hands!

elesbells · 27/07/2007 10:47

my dog stole a mans flip flop in the park and proceeded to eat it he wasnt impressed (the man that is not my dog)

cost me a nice £150 at the vets though.

geekgirl · 27/07/2007 10:52

ooh no - pelvic floor bearely bearing up here
my ex-dog (was rehomed as a complete PITA) used to piss himself whenever other people spoke to him on walks - he'd roll on his back and shower himself or anyone near him with piss.

(So, so glad that's not my problem anymore)

Dinosaur · 27/07/2007 10:54

Our dog had a bit of a crush on one of my sister's friends and used to frantically dry-hump her leg whenever she came round to play.

'Twas very embarrassing .

Original poster
SixKindsOfCrisis · 27/07/2007 10:55

Was on footpath on way to pick son up from school, loads of other parents around. Very unusually, my dog needed to go to the loo there. Stood ready with my poo bag, but it turned out that dog had chewed some fabric and a long piece of thread was on its way out. It stuck halfway and I had to 'assist' dog. Dog very disconcerted, dodging me wildly. Felt like conjurer pulling long streamer from hat.

OP posts:
magnolia1 · 27/07/2007 10:59

my ex-dog (was rehomed as a complete PITA) used to piss himself whenever other people spoke to him on walks - he'd roll on his back and shower himself or anyone near him with piss

our dog does that when dh gets home from work. We can't have her in the front room because of it

yeahinaminute · 27/07/2007 11:16

Well my lovely youngster has just this morning done the following:

Brought him in to work, parked up, got him and his belongings ( he's off to my brothers for the weekend) out of the car.

He comes to work most day's and has made friends with other people on our site - especially the nice man who works in design company ......

So Windsor races around like a loon, up the steps of the design company, a lap of honour around their open plan offices - I'm standing there with a bag of food, bowls his duvet, lead etc - shouting at the little brown bas**rd to come here .... struggle up the steps and call him to see him vault a low cabinet sending the plans they had on top of them flying - due to the momentum he had built he then couldn't stop in time and shuddered to an unseemly halt in to a door.

He picked himself up gave himself a bit of a shake down with a look that was meant to convey "Yeah - I meant to do that" and promptly wet himself - something he never does indoors !!

Luckily the inhabitants of said office were pis**ng them selves laughing

I am so

I think he's a bit dizzy

Original poster
SixKindsOfCrisis · 27/07/2007 11:36

Lol. Love the 'I meant to do that' look. My old dog used to steal the kids underwear from the bedroom floor and then when I glared at him he would nonchalently yawn so that said underwear fell out, and then put on an expression that said. 'What socks? Oh, those. Don't know how they got there.'

OP posts:
purplemonkeydishwasher · 27/07/2007 11:41

same dog from before used to eat socks and underwearand teatowels. they would often get stuck and had to be pulled from his bottom.

he was also caught swimming in neighbours pool.

peanutbear · 27/07/2007 11:44

Ha ha hese are so funny

my sisters dog is female but still mounts every dog she sees with great gusto

infact her dog is a great embarrasment but gets away with it because she is pretty

yeahinaminute · 27/07/2007 11:45

I had to pull a small bikini bottom out of the dog before lasts arse - not belonging to anyone I know - waaaay too small ! - so I can only presume that he filched it from the beach the day before - often wondered what the owner thought when she realised she was unable to clad her fundaments for a swim

Roskva · 27/07/2007 12:41

Glad I don't have the only canine delinquent...

my pint-size pom has:

cocked his leg against a friend's husbands welly and peed (friend's husband was wearing the welly at the time )

enthusiastically humped a friend's arm (he was obviously in lust with her fluffy jumper )

enthusiastically humped a male labrador's front leg

stopped to poo in someone's entrance just as they were coming out (and I had to ask them for a placcy bag to clear up behind him because I wasn't wearing my usual dog walking coat which has pockets full of the things

he also happily steals dummies from small children, if he can, as dd encourages him by giving him hers every now and then

Other than that, he is very cute

McBeasty · 27/07/2007 12:44

our old dog, whilst being stroked, left a puddle of wee in the top of a man's loafer! He didn't notice so we didn't tell him and let him wander away with the puddle of pee on top of his shoe!

geekgirl · 27/07/2007 15:37

oh, and this one I'd put out of my mind because it was so bloody cringeworthy - I had a visit from our social worker, we were sitting on the patio when stupid dh let the dog out, who raced over to the social worker, jumped up at him (leaving him with long bleeding gashes on his thigh) and pissed all over his briefcase.
He pretended to not notice, and when he went to get something from his car I dashed inside like a mad woman and frantically cleaned the piss up with kitchen paper.

yellowpoo · 28/07/2007 10:53

Whilst out walking with my and my mother in law's dog one still, calm morning by an idyllic lake, we came across three younf men camping.

The had a camp fire and were cooking a breakfast of sausages.

Mother in law's dog immediatley lurched in and ate two sausages. My dog went into the tent. meanwhile MIL's dog lurched in again, knocking the frying pan over. My dog dives out of tent and grabs another sausage.

Throughout this i am grabbing dog's and yelling at dogs. Eventually we manage to moove away, however in a sneaky swift moment MIL's dog runs back and steals the rest of the sausages, before running off intothe distance.

This is also a fairly standard part of life for us. That is, the constant apologising to people about what my dog has done. This was on private land and the dog's are usually on the lead otherwise.

yellowpoo · 28/07/2007 10:55

Met a Grman lady on the beach. My DH surfs. Her dog preceded to poo on his beloved surfboard. The lady was v.embarrased and said she thought is was because of the similarity to her vinyl floor at home.

twinsetandpearls · 28/07/2007 10:56

My dog repeatedly and vocally shags with ghusto a horse on our dining table in front of the bay window as our neighbours walk by muttering something about that awaful family lowering property prices again.

haychee · 28/07/2007 10:57

Ive had to pull out a carrier bag from the rear end of my older dog. Highly embarressing. I couldnt catch her at first she was too busy skipping around, thinking something was chasing her when really it was the bag swishing about. It was revolting and embarressing! Im glad having read here that other dogs have had other things hanging out of their buts nedding their owners to help them out. Im not the only one!