My dog makes me miserable

[CharlWaino]

I never had a pet growing up, my partner always had dogs. At the end of January this year we got ourselves a German Shorthaired Pointer puppy. The initial idea was my partners, it had never entered my mind to get a dog, but admittedly, i was just as excited as he was when we decided to go and see our puppy-to-be. Nearly five months on, she has grown to be a placid, quiet, affectionate dog who is eager to please and I admit, we probably couldn’t have asked for a better dog, although this isn’t to say she has always been like this- she’s a puppy after all. My partner is obsessed with her, the best thing since sliced bread in his eyes, and our two year old loves her (when he’s in the mood for her).
Yet somehow, I just don’t feel the same way about her- I don’t feel like my house is my
home anymore, I find her constant need for attention extremely irritating, I can’t bring myself to talk to her and make a fuss of her like my partner does. He works away at least one night a week, every week, and i dread it when he’s not here. I have been extremely down, many times since we got her, which really is unlike me. My partner says I’m being selfish as I can’t take into consideration how happy she makes him and that I am stopping myself from liking her, he’s made it very clear that she isn’t going anywhere. In fairness, she hasn’t done anything to warrant getting rid of her, I’m aware of the fact. I am clearly just not a dog person.
All I know is I was so much happier before we got her and I can’t wait to be in the situation again, as awful as it sounds.
I don’t know what to do.

@Millicentsparty I agree! Why get another dog when you have already had to rehome one a few years ago?! And the poster lives in a 3rd floor walk-up, which clearly is not compatible with having a puppy! How selfish and irresponsible to keep getting living creatures and then deciding they are "a bad idea"

OP; please do not think bad of you. I love my cats and never a worry. But a relative with a dog stayed a while with me way back then had to go overseas and left me with the dog. She is a dog person; I am a cat person, an dthere is a vast difference between the two critters in terms of attention and company needed,

I ended up with two dogs and they are hard work. A cat will go off on their own happily or be with you. A dog needs to be with you much more. I felt.... crowded, overwhelmed. There is no peace... no... solitude. no privacy> Which is why many love them . Not put that very well ..
The relative is not a cat person; she does not see this... lol..I bite my lip hard sometimes.

Al this was a while ago and both dogs are gone now. I have multiple cats.

They are less …… invo;lvement, yes that is the word, than even one dog. They involve you; cats will sit by. As if a dog is incomplete without a person? As some here have said, they INVADE you. I never have that feeling with my cats. When I think of the dogs I see their eyes looking to me for approval. They insist n being involved with you whereas a cat will live alongside etc
And no I would never ever have a dog again.. Seven cats are fine though...
I am at a loss re your situation but would not be able for it. Can you find eg a dog sitter or dog walker..? Dilute it a little?

I got my dog Buzz 4 years ago as a puppy and everything was great, didn’t mind the hard work or training and we did everything together. My girlfriend and family love him and he loves them so much. About a year and a half ago he suddenly stopped walking at certain places and it’s slowly just gone downhill from there. He will no longer walk with me at all unless I get someone else to come with me even then it’s at very specific place and even then there’s no guarantee. Hes had no previous incidence to make him scared of gong in any walks. I’ve been to the vets had all sorts of tests and even scans to rule everything out and even a behavioural specialists and it was a waste of time. He’s making my life miserable constantly following me around crying all day and has become far to invasive. I can’t do anything anymore. There’s been no changes in his life to make him behave like this and I feel like our relationship has completely gone and I’m completely out of ideas on how to help him.

Did it ever change , I'm feeling all of this and am so depressed. He's a lovely dog but I just don't want him , I've lost all of my freedom .my partner loves him and expresses more feeling towards him than he ever has to me. Bizarre! Help xx

Hi all from Greece. This is the only thread that gives me confort!

Fell for my ten years old moaning and groaning about getting a pet. Got a two month old puppy and he's over the moon with her... Husband loves it too! But I'm miserable. I am an awful person but it's been two weeks since I've been a slave to vacuuming, mopping the floors, airing rugs and blankets, having the washing machine working overtime every day. She won't stay alone and can't go anywhere. Husband's a cook, leaves before noon and comes back late in the evening, and even one or two hrs after midnight on a Friday and Saturday night. I even think kid's stuffed nose is due to an allergy to the pet-hair in the air. Contacted the allergist and she said to wait a full month and then examine this...

Got the pup from an e-friend in a fb group. I'm so embarassed to tell her I need to send the pup back! Called her to mention about this possible allergy thing and she talked to me like I'm so stupid I won't be willing to face it and keep the dog at the same time...

Kid hates me for wanting the dog to leave, he called me irresponsible and not good for an adult :( But I realise I have to act fast because the puppy has got better chances while she's still a puppy... I feel guilty, trapped and on a dead end :(

Oh dear, i really get your pain. I am so sorry you are going through this. If you decide to keep the pup i would recomend you to start crate trainning. We rescue a puppy that was extremely anxious and, at the beggining, he couldnt be on his own in the crate more than 10 secs. Soon after we start crating him, he would start getting more secure in there. We were consistent. Always the crate in the same place, and crated at the same time. Everyday. With a blanket on top. We started with 10 secs and builded up. It depends how your puppy is, it might feel already comfortable in a crate. This will give you also some time for you to relax around the house or leave the house in peace knowing the pup wont eat anything dangerous. My dog is almost 5. Its been a very challenging experience because its my first dog and he has issues (i was naive). But he is fine now. We found balance. Also, getting someone to help you with walking and trainning is key for your mental health.

First and foremost I worry about kid's possible allergy. He has an allergic profile to food and environment, and allergies tend to build up, which worries me a lot. If this is not the case, I'll see what I can do... Thanks for your reply!

I’m interested to know if you resolved this with your dog or found out the root cause of the issue? It’s sounds a very sad time for you.

This thread is so helpful to me, having grown up with dogs, they’ve always been a part of my young life, I am a hard worker and met my hubby who had a dog, we had many lovely years together, he had her 12 years and I had her 6 years with him, she died in an accident sadly. We didn’t want to get another dog as we felt like we were replacing her and wanted to get over the loss of her, but a few years later we went into lockdown and decided to get a golden retriever to be with us and our 4 year old, she was lovely and is a lovely girl but so much work, walks, washing etc etc which was all fine till she had planned pups and we kept one. We enjoyed them despite the tie and work involved in looking after dogs but they both poo inside the house at night which has suddenly increased and is gross of course to wake up to in the morning, not knowing which one has done it is equally irritating. I have loved dogs all my life but now one is 4 and the other 2 their increasingly bad habits are getting on my nerves especially with a husband who has health issues and a boy of 7 to manage. Anyway I just wanted to say all these posts have been very helpful to read. Especially the ones with advice and care, non judgemental advise is always the best. I am going to get a dog walker to help me as daily walks are getting me down especially heading into winter and when they have pooed in the kitchen over night! Thanks everyone for all your posts :-))

I can’t believe the following my post got!!

5+ years on and I’ve received an email alerting me about a response to a post I had completely forgotten I’d written! I wish I had checked this sooner!

You may all be curious to know that the tables have turned, massively! I adore the dog, I don’t remember when my feelings changed exactly, but to those who feel like I did, chances are things will get better! My circumstances have changed recently and my partner and I are in the process of separating. We have a clear plan for when we’ll each have our son, but my concern now is when I’ll have the dog as I will be going into rented accommodation initially. If I can’t have her to stay, I’ll be so upset! Can you believe how my tone had changed!? I think, actually, she has filled a little void while things haven’t been right between my partner and I and she’s just been such a comfort.

So I hope that everyone who shared my feelings gets a sense of reassurance from my update. Things definitely got a lot better… between me and the dog anyway!

Thanks for your update! Though I'm sorry to hear about the separation. I've been feeling very apprehensive as I think we have maybe rushed into getting a puppy (though been on waiting lists for a year). The puppy we have been given - we had to make an a and b choice isn't the beautiful glossy red that all his siblings are. I'm worried I am not going to be able to love him. I should have listened to my son though of course very likely that someone else who had come through earlier than us had picked the others beforehand as the lady let us know very quickly about the choices.

I think the colour of your puppy is the very least of your concerns. And I say that kindly, not harshly. And, their characters are so unknown at that age, although we pet owners do our best to pick “the right puppy”, really it’s a bit of a roulette as to what you’re going to end up with as they grow and develop. Training is only half of it, IMO.
I would start putting those thoughts behind you quickly, don’t worry about what colour and whether you wanted to pick a different one, fact is you accepted that one and any puppy is going to turn your life upside down for a while. So, unless you start learning to love the puppy for what he/she is, then you’re going to start on tbe back foot. All the mess, toileting, sleepless nights, “misbehaving” as we humans call it, it’s all going to seem so much worse if you’ve already started off being concerned about the colour or pick of your puppy.
If you really don’t want this dog or you are concerned that it’s the runt and not healthy etc then contact the breeder asap before too much time lapses.

I got a puppy from my sister. Thankfully, she has found him a home. He’s the worst idea I’ve ever had. My life is 💯 revolving around taking him out every hour. Even so, he comes in and shhts on the floor, EVERY time. Today he did wild circles running and shhting. Carpet went to dumpster. He stinks even after bathing & paw wipes. He is really not intelligent. He doesn’t understand how to walk at all. He prefers you drag him along or pick him up. He whines constantly, and loudly. He grows at my children, and tries to bite them. I am autistic and my sense of smell is off the charts. The stench is so overwhelming, I haven’t eaten at home in two weeks. Thankfully, my sister is on her way at 2am to pick him up. I like clean and there’s no way with an animal.

I have the same problem, my cocker spaniel is making me depressed, so much so that my doctor gave me antidepressants. I want rid of him but my husband won't hear of it. I do not want to live in my own home any more as the dog is causing so much damage.

Every single one of these needs to say no, a 10 yo asking for a dog or a man guilting you into it- What you thought would happen. In every single case you should have said no.
So sad for these pets who are not loved. Just rehome as soon as possible. Say no! Obviously done zero research on what it takes. Rule no 1 : everyone in the household must want it. There is no way around that. And that’s how you end up in this situation. A simple no will suffice.

I do love my dog, and I did want him, it is just his behaviour. We had a spaniel before him that we lost to cancer and he was the polar opposite. We have taken him to a dog trainer, he has a couple of more classes so will see how he is after that.