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Original poster

Puppy and a baby?

81 replies

gsjd8 · 08/05/2019 18:30

Hi everyone, new to posting on here although I have read many threads already so I know I am touching on an “already covered” subject!!
I would love to hear views from both sides, is this really such a crazy thing to consider? So a little about us, I have a 7 year so he’s at school. I also have a 5 month old and yes we are considering bringing a puppy into our household. Specifically a Labrador!
I have done what feels like endless research into this although I fully appreciate you never do quite know what it’s like until you’re in the thick of it, up to your ears in poo / wee / chewing and so on, but I still find myself wanting to do it. I realise it will be hard work!
My parents have had dogs over the years and I have played a role in helping (although again I appreciate helping and being ultimately responsible are totally different).
I have researched the breed and the initial stages. we would crate train from day one. Hubby would take 2 weeks off work when we bring pup home. He is also in a position (once pup is ready) to take him/her into work, not everyday but certainly a couple of days a week.
We will book into puppy training classes and have already looked into this. I fully appreciate the first few months will be mayhem but is it still advisable to wait?
Time wise I feel is never going to be perfect but as my little one is not yet on the move I feel we could get the initial toilet training under control first? Also by the time she is walking I would hope the puppy will be starting to settle so not so bouncy?
Would love to hear both sides, has anyone managed it?
Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
BiteyShark · 10/05/2019 10:14

No baby in this household but we took on a puppy when we both work but I can work from home. It was and sometimes still is extremely hard work juggling his needs and work. Yes we made it work but that's because we outsource some of his care which is our backup plan for when we can't do it. Oh and I waited over 20 years to get my dog and I still wasn't prepared for how much work it was.

I on the other hand am completely open minded and think everyone can make it work with the right mind and commitment.

Absolutely agree with this but you only have to be on here for a short time to see how many people want to rehome because the puppy behaves just like a puppy. And the number of young dogs for sale for dubious reasons shows it happens a lot.

Costacoffeeplease · 10/05/2019 10:15

A reputable breeder will always have a waiting list for puppies, especially if they’re bred for a speciality like gun dogs

Original poster
gsjd8 · 10/05/2019 10:15

@IceRebel yes puppies have been born but they’re not a breeder? (According to them). They wouldn’t of had a waiting list? They didn’t want to advertise until the pups had arrived and they knew we’re all healthy. Is this really a red flag?

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 10/05/2019 10:15

They’ve bred a dog... they’re breeders, anyone claiming not to be an actual breeder is basically telling you’re they’re not good at it.

Costacoffeeplease · 10/05/2019 10:17

Again, they shouldn’t need to advertise....

PinkOboe · 10/05/2019 10:17

every time your baby tries crawling anywhere a puppy will think he's fair game for playing / biting / humping. every time your child leaves a toy on the floor the puppy will chew it. every time you need to cook dinner / put a load of washing on your puppy / child will do something that means you have to stop. every time it's raining and the dog needs walking you children will moan and complain and whinge until the walk is over. every time you try to devote some time to training your puppy a child will need attention. every time your child wants attention you puppy will do something you wish you'd had more time to train him not to do.

We've always had dogs. it wasn't until we had the children / puppy combo that i truly realised why rescues are so reluctant to re-home to families. it's not particularly in case the dog hurts the child, it's because you cannot devote enough time to either the children or the dog for it to work very well for anyone

that said, it's a phase, it passes, but dear god it's hard work and dispiriting when you're in the midst of it and unless you are VERY determined it would be all to easy to give up

IceRebel · 10/05/2019 10:17

Is this really a red flag?

Yes, and a massive one at that.

BertrandRussell · 10/05/2019 10:17

All I know is when I had babies, I went through a stage of hating my own gorgeous cat because I had no “touch space” left for her. I put the baby down- and the cat would jump on my lap and I could have literally thrown her across the room. (I didn’t) I just wanted to be left alone but she would’nt. It lasted about 6 months. And she was a calm, self sufficient adult cat. I think a puppy would have broken me.

Original poster
gsjd8 · 10/05/2019 10:20

@BiteyShark thank you! Your post is incredibly helpful and yes I have read ALOT already about people wishing to rehome. I can only begin to understand the scale of work.
My friend is a dog walker and does puppy visits too and so I am looking into this (even with me home).
I feel like I need to keep stressing we are not decided. But I am trying to look at absolutely everything. From walking, to dog walkers, vets (I’ve had lengthy conversations with them already) to food, training and so on.

OP posts:
Original poster
gsjd8 · 10/05/2019 10:23

@BertrandRussell thank you! We have two British blue cats and both have been fine with the baby. Lucky perhaps but have just taken it slow with introductions

OP posts:
Original poster
gsjd8 · 10/05/2019 10:25

Why wouldn’t they need to advertise? Sorry they haven’t said to us they are not a breeder, what I mean is they haven’t done this before and wouldn’t do it again.

OP posts:
IceRebel · 10/05/2019 10:29

Why wouldn’t they need to advertise?

If their dog is a working gun dog, chances are they will know others who are in that scene, and will be on the lookout for a new dog. The fact that they are keeping one, family are having a few others and yet they are happy for this puppy to live in a family home with a young child, baby, cats would set off alarm bells.

Costacoffeeplease · 10/05/2019 10:33

Why would you get a puppy from someone who hasn’t done it before? The only way is to go to a reputable, experienced breeder who breeds to improve the breed, they usually show their dogs too. They will have an excellent example of the breed as both sire and dam, and will travel to find the best mate for their bitch, with complementary traits and excellent health scores

Original poster
gsjd8 · 10/05/2019 10:34

It’s his hobby! They’ve had a litter of 10 pups only two are being advertised. The rest are going to either family or to other working gun dog families. I haven’t met them I can’t be 100% sure. They sound lovely (please don’t shoot me down for saying that) and have happily answered all our questions over the phone without hesitation.

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 10/05/2019 10:35

“Why wouldn’t they need to advertise?”

Because if their bitch is even half decent other people who work labs would want one as soon as they knew a litter was planned, including the stud owner usually.

“what I mean is they haven’t done this before and wouldn’t do it again.”

That’s unlikely if they’ve done all the appropriate health tests...that’s a huge amount of money to spend for a puppy when they could have just got another one from their bitch’s breeder...

rideawhiteswan · 10/05/2019 10:35

We've always had labs and for a first one as a married couple with babies I got a rescue lsb, I honestly couldn't have copied with a puppy.
Done through lab rescue but I got him strsight from his owners who were an army family and were being stationed abroad. I could see him interact with their young children and I could see what a lovely boy he was. I personally wouldn't have been happy just taking the rescue's word for the temperament of a dog without seeing him in multiple situations myself.

Original poster
gsjd8 · 10/05/2019 10:37

Not everyone buys from a full time breeder. I wanted to ensure their home and start in life was excellent. They seem to be. He might not have done it before but he has researched and did travel to find the correct stud for his bitch.

OP posts:
Original poster
gsjd8 · 10/05/2019 10:39

@rideawhiteswan thank you, and how lovely Smile did you do this through a local rescue place or was it someone you’ve found online?
I have contacted a local rescue centre, she is due to call me today.

OP posts:
Costacoffeeplease · 10/05/2019 10:44

No not everyone buys from a full time breeder, but I bloody wish they did - or rehomed a rescue. Answering adverts is the least desirable option

BiteyShark · 10/05/2019 10:49

OP you will get lots of people saying you should only go to certain types of breeders e.g. only those that 'improve' lines and never advertise etc. My own personal view is that's too extreme a restriction for me.

I almost bought my cocker from a farmer who breed them to work. He grilled me so much that ironically when he said he would eventually sell one to me he had sown so much doubt about us being able to cope with a true working breed that we didn't buy from him in the end. If they really are breeding to continue the working line I would investigate that further in terms of whether you can cope with a working breed. That usually means you need to understand their traits and work with them e.g. I did eventually but a working cocker who is a hunter and ended up having gun dog training to really understand and work with his instincts.

The other thing to do is to investigate the genetic health conditions of that breed to ensure they are not passed to the puppy. For example I made sure I got a puppy from parents which clear of certain genetic conditions (they had dna certificates to prove this). I walked away from one breeder who had never even heard of those genetic conditions because they were simply breeding their pet for a bit of money.

Wolfiefan · 10/05/2019 10:54

I wouldn’t. Health tests? Hip screening etc or just that they went to the vets for a quick look over?
Nobody should buy from a full time breeder. They are the puppy farmers.
Do you want a show or working type lab OP?

SuperheroBirds · 10/05/2019 10:56

I have two golden retrievers (so quite similar to labs), one of which is 5 months old and the other is 3 years old. I also have an 8 month old nephew. My grown up dog is calm, and patient, and we trust him off the lead around my nephew and other children. The puppy is all teeth and claws! She doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body, but she is so clumsy and excitable that even with very close and constant supervision I can’t relax with her near a baby.

Think about how much time babies spend on the floor, and how easy it would be for a puppy to accidentally scratch them.

When we got our youngest, I’d forgotten how exhausting puppies are, they are like having a baby. From the lack of sleep (puppy bladders are only so big so even with a crate we set our alarm in the night to take her out to the toilet for quite a few weeks), to having to watch them all the time, and having to let them out to the toilet every half an hour, it is a lot!

Personally I don’t think I could manage a baby and a puppy, but some people obviously make it work.

Original poster
gsjd8 · 10/05/2019 10:57

Thanks again @BiteyShark and yes I completely agree, it’s too restrictive for us personally. I bought my cats in the same way, off advert. I guess not everyone is going to agree and that is fine!

Starting to realise Mumsnet is opening a can of worms Grin but still grateful for the constructive advice.

I am now perhaps considering a goldfish (joke - obviously cruel as we have cats before anyone has a go!!!)

OP posts:
Original poster
gsjd8 · 10/05/2019 11:02

Thanks @SuperheroBirds yes from what I’ve read golden retrievers are similar in terms of size and commitment. We’ve obviously just got over the getting up through the night with DD and at 3/4 months by god it was every hour for a good 6 weeks if not more! Even my husband was surprised at how little it bothered me!
He’s offered to do the night trips with pups anyway. Will that help in anyway? I am not taking on pup alone!

OP posts:
SuperheroBirds · 10/05/2019 11:08

I’ve just seen that it is a working litter that you are looking at. I’m not too sure about labs, but if they are similar to goldies, I would do some research into the difference between the show type traits and the working line ones to see which would suit your family best. A working type lab could require a lot more exercise than a show one.