Rescue cat scratching kids

[CatHelp]

We rehomed a cat last Thursday and she has been amazing. From the minute she got out the carrier she has been affectionate and loving, extremely so with my husband. I knew this was too good to be true, I said it every day :(

We were told she was an indoor cat, fine with kids. Mine are 7 & 9 and they don’t really bother too much about the cat. Cat doesn’t pay much attention to them either.

The first incident case on day 2, husband and kids were playing with the cat with a cat toy. Fun was over and 9yo patted the sofa to indicate the cat to come up. Instead, the cat attempted to scratch 9yo: we put this aside as still being in a playful mood and an accident.

Day 5 I noticed 7yo eye looking bloodshot in the corner. She was coy as to why but it eventually transpired that she sat next to the cat and touched her tummy. I’ve always said not to touch her there hence why 7yo was being so quiet about the incident. We had her eye checked out and there’s no scratch or damage but there is a bit of an infection.

Day 6 Cat was relaxed and I noted her claws were quite on the sharp side so I managed to clip a few with no issues. She started getting a bit pissed off so I left her, but I was impressed how okay she was to be fair. The cats I’ve grown up with wouldn’t let you dare!

Day 7 I clipped another nail but she wasn’t best pleased but didn’t put up a fight, just tucked her claws away

Day 8 (tonight) DH managed to get a thumb claw cut but cat decided to bite his hand softly, no teeth sunk. We left her alone. Later she came by and cuddled up sleeping next to us all on the sofa. 7yo sat still as she could, perfectly, and after about 5-10mins she laughed at something on the TV. It gave cat a fright who then lashed out.

And so that is it. I am utterly gutted because apart from the incidents above, this cat is probably the friendliest cat I have ever encountered in my life. We couldn’t believe how perfect she was. She’d snuggle up with us on any occasion she could, like a baby, she enjoys our company, woke up to her purring in my arms.

I don’t know I’ve I’m expecting too much to soon? I don’t know if I should have just kept the kids and the cat even more seperate? My own maternal instinct kicked in tonight and i just thought, oh no, she has to go back to the rescue centre? We’re all devastated , hubby is gutted and I think if we could utter any words to each other right now we would just cry, we’re both really tired and emotional. The cat has really been the perfect fit to our family :(

I’ll take any advice right now :( am I being to hasty or is this just something I need to walk away from now?

Honestly I think you're being hasty considering returning her. I can understand why, as the safety of your kids is obviously paramount, but I think you need to have more patience with this animal. She's only been in your home a week. She needs a fair chance to settle down, to feel comfortable and safe with her new family and to understand what's expected of her.

For now, I would instruct the children not to try to touch the cat's stomach, her paws and her throat/face as if the cat is nervous these can be seen as vulnerable/sensitive areas to her (I know you already have said this, but make it very clear to them.) Also look out for any sign that the cat is getting nervous/irritated, swishing tail etc, and stop petting her the second she looks like she's had enough. Give her some space and some time to settle down.

If she does lash out or try to bite, please don't frighten her, spray water, etc. Cats respond best to positive reinforcement. Try simply removing yourself from the room and leave the cat totally alone for 10 minutes - just completely ignore her. If she's an affectionate personality cat as you indicate, she likes to be around you, so she'll learn that scratch/bite = no more interaction and no scratch/no bite = family around interacting with her.

It will take a little time and patience for her to learn, but I honestly think she sounds more nervous than aggressive.

Also, consider trying a Feliway plug in. It might help her to settle.

All the incidents you describe had a provocation. None may have been intentional, but it was there nonetheless.

1. Cat thought it was playtime still.
2. Child touched belly, which very few cats will tolerate.
3. Unexpected loud noise while sleeping provoked fear reaction.

It is only a week. It can take cats months to fully settled and become completely relaxed and trusting.

I think clipping the claws of a cat that’s only been with you a week is rushing things a bit. It sounds like you have a lovely, affectionate cat who is getting stressed. I’d just back off with the claw cutting and give the cat a bit of space. Cat claws are meant to be sharp. If you blunt the ends then they just do lots of scratching (in my house that’s done on the sofa) until they are sharp again.

All of the incidents that you describe sound like totally normal cat behaviour. My current cat wouldn’t have scratched under those circumstances but every other cat I’ve had would have, especially with the tummy being touched. Cats scratch when they are startled, pissed off or playing. I think sending her back is a bit of an overreaction. If you do decide to return her I wouldn’t get another cat until your child’s a bit older as it’s very likely that any cat you get will scratch occasionally.

I agree give the cat a break, you've only has her a short while. I would tell the kids not to touch her at all at the moment.

Can you rehome the kids who don't know how to let a new cat settle?!

Seriously, it's been a week! Animals are a commitment....not a passing fancy

Thank you for all the helpful comments (albeit the odd one)

I guess perhaps it’s been a shock when we thought that (perhaps wrongly so) this cat seemed to have no issues settling in. The more I’ve sat and thought about it the more I came to the conclusion that she needs more time, and whilst she’s close to me and husband I can’t expect her to be like that with my girls right away.
My girls will have no issues leaving the cat completely for now, so I’m not worried about the dynamics there. She’s still exploring, I think I have been expecting too much too soon. A passing fancy she is not, the idea of returning her breaks my heart into pieces and we’ve become so close in such a short time we wondered why we didn’t have a cat before now.

Blimey! Do you realise that cats do this? Mine is the friendliest in the world and she savages me or the kids most days

It's not attacking you - it's not a dog! Cats just give you a chomp or a scratch if they feel like it. I'd understand if this was a full on attack but trust me, you'd know all about that

Don't get a cat again. As a rule they all do this

Thank you for all the reassurance - I guess what I was trying to establish was whether this was a outright no go with children or if it was fixable. I’ve been brought up with cats but we haven’t had one as our own family so I wasn’t sure what to do, and I knew you mumsnetters with cats would help me see the situation clearer

Is this your first cat because all you have described is normal cat behaviour. Cats can appear unpredictable but as you get to know then you will understand their boundaries, and each incident you have described involves pushing those boundaries.

No need to cut her claws either. You will just end up with scratched carpet or furniture.

Roly your comment was helpful , you didn’t have to ruin it like that. :(

Get her a scratch post to keep her claws shorter and just chill a little. A cat scratch isn't going to harm the children. They'll get worse playing on a playground!! She's a cat, and that's how they show they've had enough, or just get a bit OTT playing! Mine is forever catching my husbands hands if she gets a bit excited playing with her toys.

She just needs a bit of time to get used to her new life.

Yes Liz it is. Thank you. I just want to get things right and learn, hence why I am here asking questions.

Thanks Astrid x

Cats sometimes scratch- it’s what they do. And it won’t hurt you children to get scratched occasionally. It always happens. And you really shouldn’t clip her claws- they are likely to splinter. Has she got a scratching post? Are you sure you want to keep her as an indoor cat?

Chill out and let her settle in slowly. The children will learn how to interact with her and you might have to be tolerant over a few swipes in the process. The little nip she gave your husband could actually be a sign of affection if it was just mouthing him. My rescue took a few months to trust us enough to do that (we thought she was mute when we had had her for a week and she hadn't even meowed at us).

Good suggestions above for a scratching post or rug, but if she's anything like my contrary girl she will scratch the carpet immediately next to it with a challenging look in her eye.

Leave the poor cat alone and don’t cut her claws. I’ve never heard of anyone cutting a cat’s claws!

Does she have space away from the floor like a cat tree or a perch? That might help her feel more confident. Maybe a perch next to the sofa would help so she can be near you but not too close. Also not having dead ends is important.

When you are playing do you give her the toy so she feels like she has caught what she has been hunting? Cats are hunters and they need to feel like they have caught their prey. Also play ending with food can be a good thing.

Maybe toys that are long might help you so your hands aren't in the way. Stroking a cat from head to tail actually stimulates them too much and watch how you are holding her. As this can trigger scratches and bites.

I've just got a kitten and YouTube's videos on cat behaviour/cat body language and My Cat from Hell has helped me understand my cat. Jackson Galaxy is a good source for cat behaviour. I've tried a few of his methods with my kitten and it worked.

My kitten was a scratcher but it's happening less and less. She can still get a little Bity but I distract her with toys.

Don't give up. A cat be a learning curve.

Yes you really shouldn’t be clipping a cats claws. Indoor cats should be given scratching posts . If their claws get too long a vet should clip them.
I think you really have to give her more time and space. The affection is on her terms and it won’t feel like her territory for a while yet. Also you need to reinforce with your kids that they mustn’t treat her like a toy . Bit concerned your child touched your cats tummy even though you said not to...although she’s probably learned her lesson now!

That’s what cats do - you’ve had her a very short time. And yes, leave her claws alone

I have 15 cats, probably had 30-40 over the years, never clipped a single claw

@Costacoffeeplease

That's really good to hear as I was unsure if I would have too. My kitten likes to climb and hunt so didn't want to inhibit her natural behaviour.

Another one here saying this is all normal vary behaviour. She's only been with you a week and all the incidents you mention have had clear causes. Lots of cats don't like their tummies being touched and even if they do they can still have the occasional panic and lash out. I agree with not trimming their claws either. It's unnecessary and while some tolerate it, they certainly don't like it. Give her time to get to know and trust you all. It's also worth looking up cat behaviour signals and making sure you all know how to read her body language. I'm sure given time she'll be best of friends with your DC and you'll have many happy years of being a cat slave!

The claw thing has set me aback, everything I read before said to keep on top of it every two weeks or something cause she’s an indoor cat! And I’m like how the hell did she get to three and has issues with it now? Makes bloody sense now.

She’s got a few scratch posts, and a tower.

Ahhh why didn’t I come here earlier! You ladies have made me much more relaxed about this whole thing .

Raven thank you for the book suggestions, appreciate this!!!

My DC are the same age as yours. We got a rescue cat 6 months ago. She is friendly and affectionate but also young and playful so she does sometimes scratch. I didn't let them stroke her too much at first and supervised them when they did. They spent time watching her with me so they could learn how to read her signals and body language. They both stroke her a lot now and have learned to have very quick reflexes because they know when she's going to scratch.

I also recommend Jackson Galaxy after watching his TV programme. Lots of American cats are indoor only and he suggests they need a lot of play and activity as they don't go out. He also recommends setting up lots of high areas so the cat can make their way around the room above human level.

I wasn't ruining anything! Merely being slightly exasperated that you've got a cat yet don't seem to understand the first thing about their nature

Just try and relax and it accept that it really doesn't matter if they give you a sly swipe with a paw most days